Dirty Little Secret
by hayleynymphadora
Summary: Everyone has their secrets, but how much are they willing to share? As secrets spill out, things get tense between everybody as they try to patch up relationships that aren't broken, just bent. Cassie/Shelby pairing, Klaine, eventual Pezberry. rated M for language and suggestive themes.
1. Secrets, Secrets, Secrets

**A/N: **My wonderful co-author, Defygravity09, and I are proud, excited, and happy to present our newest creation: Dirty Little Secret. Set around Season 4, San, Kurt, and Rach all still live together, Shelby has her Broadway daycare and Cassie's getting on Rachel's last nerve. Rachel and Shelby are close and they decide to get on a chat room and talk...becoming vulnerable and spilling some secrets. This chapter is way long and we apologize, but it was an important introductory and length could not be avoided. Not every chapter will be set up like a chat room, but quite a few will. Again, this is rated M for suggestive themes and language, this is NOT a smut fic (sorry to disappoint those of you who were hoping it was...). We had a great time co-writing this and we hope you like it as much as we do! Let us know what you think about it! With love, Defygravity09 and hayleynymphadora

Ch. 1—Secrets, Secrets, Secrets

Rachel Berry was resting in her room for the night. Finally, it was Saturday—she was so thankful she wouldn't have to go to Cassandra July's wretched dance class at NYADA the next morning—her recent lessons had been pure living hell, and Rachel had yet to understand why the woman hated her so much or what she had ever done to piss off her college professor.

With a sigh, not wanting to think about "Crazy Cassie July" anymore, she flipped open her laptop and cuddled her pillow to her chest, signing into her usual chat room to see if her mom was online. After such a long week, she needed someone to talk to, and her roommates were distracted with their own Saturday night plans—Santana on a date with her girlfriend, Dani, and Kurt was perfecting his NYADA audition in able to get in next semester. Any other day, Rachel might be helping him, but she was just too exhausted to be of any help.

With a small smile, she noticed that her mother was in fact signed in. Saturdays were usually their night to chat. Rachel typed a first message.

**Rachel:** Hi, mama

**Shelby:** Hi, baby. How was your day?

**Rachel:** Uneventful, really. Mostly I just listened to Broadway and tried to learn songs from IF/THEN. I can't sing "Starting Over"…

**Shelby:** Yes, you can.

**Rachel:**__Just watched the performance a billion times, there's no way I can do some of that…

**Shelby: **Since when do you ever doubt yourself? Yes, you CAN sing it. You are Rachel Berry and Rachel Berry can do ANYTHING she sets her mind to.

**Rachel:** Except for NOT screw up her NYADA audition, or marry Finn Hudson.

**Shelby: **But you still got in, did you not?

**Rachel:** Okay well that was luck.

**Shelby:** That was talent, and don't get smart with me young lady.

**Rachel:** I'm not getting smart with you; all I'm saying is that I'm not the perfect goal achiever you think I am. I'm not you—I'm no Shelby Corcoran.

**Shelby:** Ha! Honey, I am FAR from perfect. I am perfectly imperfect. Did you have a bad day? What's wrong with you?

Deciding to dodge the subject of what was really eating at Rachel—the fact that Santana had been out on her date since four and it was now eleven thirty had a good deal to do with it.

Instead, she decided to change the subject in the direction of her mother's love life—she had seen the way Cassandra had looked at Shelby the other day in the studio. There was definitely something there.

**Rachel: **…Ms July seems to think you're perfect…

**Shelby:** We are not talking about Cassandra…unless that's the reason why you're so upset today? You didn't even have her class today…

**Rachel:** Why not? We NEVER talk about Cassandra!

**Shelby:** And we are not about to start now.

**Rachel:** It's not my fault she makes you so nervous.

**Shelby:** She doesn't make me nervous. YOU make me nervous…

**Rachel:** Only because I talk about her.

Shelby bit her lip from behind her laptop screen. Why did Rachel insist on pushing her so far? She wasn't used to being so open with people. She decided she might as well just admit that she didn't like talking about Cassandra. Rachel obviously knew the woman made her uncomfortable.

**Shelby:** Yes.

**Rachel:** but why?

**Shelby:** Because you always read into things that aren't there, Rachel.

**Rachel:** Something is SO TOTALLY there, Shelby.

**Shelby: **Nope.

**Rachel:** Even Santana says so.

**Shelby:** Well, we still aren't talking about this.

**Rachel:** By saying we aren't talking about it, we are talking about it. And besides, if there's nothing there, why do you refuse to talk about it? Hmm?

**Shelby:** Because you will change my words, Rachel.

**Rachel:** I won't! I promise!

**Shelby:** Ugh. Fine.

**Rachel:** She asks me about you, you know. Even though you've only met her like twice…

Shelby's heart practically dropped to her gut. Cassandra asked about her? But…but why? Wasn't she still angry with her? With shaking hands, Shelby responded.

**Shelby:** What about me?

**Rachel:** Basic things…how you're doing, what you do for a living…

**Shelby: **Why?

**Rachel: **How should I know? Maybe YOU should ask her.

**Shelby:** No, Rachel.

**Rachel:** Yes! Come into the studio, she's always there…

**Shelby:** No! I agreed to talk about her, not meet up with her.

**Rachel: **Ugh, mother.

**Shelby: **Ugh, daughter.

**Rachel:** Take a leap of faith!

**Shelby:** I don't appreciate the RENT reference.

**Rachel: **You so did. Anyways, we were talking about Cassie…

**Shelby: **No, we weren't.

**Rachel:** Yes we were, Shelby! What are you so afraid of?

At this point Shelby's heart was pounding hard. She was home alone—she knew she could let her guard down, but she really didn't want to. She wasn't ready to dip into the history of Cassandra tonight and she wasn't ready to be so open about everything in her life to Rachel. It wasn't that she didn't trust her daughter—it was that she didn't trust herself.

**Shelby:** I don't want to talk about this.

**Rachel:** But why?!

**Shelby:** I just don't, Rachel.

**Rachel:** But she wants to talk to you! Doesn't that mean something?

**Shelby:** Maybe to you…not to me.

**Rachel:** I don't believe you! There's someone else?

**Shelby:** No…

**Rachel: **Then I don't see the problem.

_Because I don't want you to!_ Shelby thought with an eye roll. Instead she just said,

**Shelby:** Okay.

**Rachel: **Okay what?

**Shelby: **Just okay.

**Rachel: **What would you rather talk about then?

**Shelby:** …I don't know…

**Rachel:** Exactly. We can't have a conversation without mentioning her—it's fate. You can't run from fate.

**Shelby: **Fine, Rachel.

**Rachel:** Fine, what? You agree? Finally?!

**Shelby: **Yes.

Rachel practically squealed into the pillow she was holding, a grin on her face. It had taken forever—literally FOREVER—to get her mother to admit any feelings for anybody (particularly Cassandra). It was so hard to get Shelby to break that wall of hers down and actually talk about personal things. But she'd finally done it! Just to be sure, she wrote,

**Rachel:** So you're admitting you like her?

_That's putting it mildly…_ Shelby thought sadly, remembering the past. She wished she hadn't been so ruthless. She wished she had had a heart.

**Shelby: **Yes.

**Rachel: **YES! I KNEW IT!

**Shelby:** NOW will you leave it alone?

**Rachel:** Only if you promise to ask her out.

**Shelby: **Fine.

**Rachel:** You're being too easy—you're going to back out.

**Shelby:** No, I won't, not DROP IT! Please.

**Rachel: **FINE. If you promise to tell me how the date goes?

**Shelby:** Okay.

**Rachel:** If you don't, she will…

Tilting her head to the side and debating it, she figured that now she had convinced her mother to ask out Ms July, she really didn't have anything to lose, right? Unless her mom decided to back out…

**Rachel:** So…I sort of lied about Ms July talking to me…she sort of hates me.

**Shelby:** I figured. I sort of lied about agreeing to ask her out, too.

**Rachel:** Ugh. I thought so…well what if I get her to ask you out? Would you say yes?

**Shelby:** I don't know, Rach.

**Rachel:** *sighs dramatically*

**Shelby:** Sorry…

**Rachel: **No, you're not. You're just afraid to let someone in.

Immediately, Shelby got defensive.

**Shelby:** I let you in.

**Rachel:** I'm your daughter, I don't count.

**Shelby:** Yes you do, baby girl.

**Rachel:** Whatever. My point is, you're lonely.

**Shelby: **No, I'm not.

**Rachel:** You say that, but who do you actually talk to besides me?

**Shelby:** Look here, missy. Just because I'm at home on a Saturday night IMing with my daughter, eating chips, and surfing the web, doesn't make me lonely…

**Rachel:** Thank you mother, for proving my point.

**Shelby: **I am very happy, thank you very much.

**Rachel: **Happy, but lonely. They are two different things.

**Shelby:** Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I am happy being lonely?

**Rachel:** But you're not, or you wouldn't have come to find me to begin with.

**Shelby:** I'm happy now that I have you.

**Rachel:** This can't be all you want in your life. Don't you want love? You used to have love…you had Will! And you had Puck…

**Shelby:** I thought we agreed never to talk about Noah again? Is this never talking about him again? Don't you dare start this now, I WILL log off…

**Rachel:** No you won't, please? Fine, talk to me then. Ask whatever you want. I'm not afraid to say anything to YOU.

That was a complete lie—there were a few things Rachel was terrified to discuss with anybody—but she really needed Shelby to trust her.

**Shelby:** What is your fascination with my love life? Why does it mean so much to you?

**Rachel:** Because YOU mean so much to me and you deserve it.

**Shelby: **Well just drop it, okay? I am grateful that you care, but it isn't needed. Just let me be the way I am. As the great Elsa has recently sung…LET IT GO.

**Rachel:** Fine. You say you open up to me but you don't, Shelby. I'll find out why some time.

**Shelby:** I am open to you, Rachel. I just don't want to date, okay? There is no reason other than the damn fact that I don't want to right now.

**Rachel:** I open up to YOU. You can ask me ANYTHING and I won't say "I don't want to talk about it with you" but fine, Shelby. Whatever I guess…

**Shelby:** Don't start with me…

**Rachel:** Just did.

**Shelby: **Goodnight, Rachel.

**Rachel:** No, wait! Mom, I'll stop, come back, okay? Please?

After a moment's debate Shelby sighed hugely and wrote back.

**Shelby:** I'm here, Rachel.

**Rachel:** Okay. Don't do that—don't just leave me.

**Shelby:** You sure are needy tonight.

**Rachel:** I'm always needy.

**Shelby: **Yes, but never with me.

**Rachel:** Well…I'm sorry. I can stop if you want.

**Shelby:** No…it's a welcomed feeling.

**Rachel:** …okay.

**Shelby:** I like being needed by my daughter.

**Rachel:** I like being needed by you too, you know? And I've always needed you…

**Shelby:** I've always been there, Rach. But I wasn't allowed to contact you.

**Rachel:** Which means you weren't always there…but let's not get into that.

**Shelby:** Yes, I was. Remember when you fell off the swing when you were 7? You got hurt really badly…

Rachel's eyes widened—of course she remembered that day. She had BEGGED her dads to let her go to the park with her best friend at the time, Mary. They were swinging super high—and Rachel tilted back too far, flipping out of it, landing on her leg and scratching up her arm. But…Shelby wasn't there for that, was she? She couldn't have been, so how did she know it happened? She couldn't remember ever telling Shelby about it.

**Rachel:** Um..yeah…how do YOU?

**Shelby:** I was the one who took you to the hospital and called your dads.

**Rachel:** …but you weren't supposed to be there… isn't that in violation of the contract?

**Shelby:** It just so happens I was at that park that day, reading, while I was waiting for a meeting with a friend. I heard a child scream. I looked over and saw you and all of the blood…I knew I had to do something, so I picked you up and rushed you to the hospital. I didn't know who you were until your dads showed up and bitched at me. The only thing that saved me from going to jail was the friend I was meeting told the cops that it was her decision to go to that park…I didn't even know what you looked like.

**Rachel:** …oh

Rachel had no idea what to say to the sudden admittance. Was Shelby drunk? Is that why she was opening up so much and recalling stories? Or had Rachel finally cracked the code to let her into the unknown secret life of Shelby Kimberly Corcoran?

**Rachel:** …I don't know how to respond.

**Shelby:** That's fine. I'm sorry.

**Rachel: **…For what?

**Shelby:** I shouldn't have told you…

**Rachel: **It's fine, mom.

**Shelby: **No, it's not…I'm always saying too much. Ugh, maybe it's a sign…

**Rachel:** No, it's now, will you just relax? Jeez, now I know why you never talk to me about anything—you get so paranoid about the littlest things. Just chill out, mom, it's fine.

**Shelby:** …okay…

**Rachel:** I'd actually like it if you told me more…

She knew she was testing her luck, but at this point it was worth a shot, right?

**Shelby:** About?

**Rachel: **Anything.

**Shelby: **Well I saw you again when you were 13. But I stayed out of the way because I didn't want to risk it…your dads were pretty clear about me staying out of your life.

**Rachel:** What was happening?

**Shelby: **Your talent show. A friend of mine had a child in the show as well. She was horrible, but when they introduced you I was awestruck at your talent baby girl.

**Rachel:** …Awe! Well I got it from you. Ms July says I'm practically a carbon copy.

**Shelby: **You were amazing. I snuck out as soon as your performance was over and went back to NYC to try to make something of myself, that way when I was allowed to contact you, you would be proud of me. But that didn't work out, as I came back to Lima and had Jesse give you that tape.

**Rachel:** I've always been proud of you.

**Shelby:** You wanted me to open up…

Shelby's heart thumped but she figured she should just take the advice her daughter gave her and "take a leap of faith". She had never stopped loving Cassandra and she really was planning on contacting Cassie somehow, sometime. Besides, it was impossible to keep anything from Rachel for any period of time…Nervously, she typed,

**Shelby:** …Cassandra and I have a past.

**Rachel:** WHAT?!

**Shelby:** Yes, that's why I don't want to talk about her.

**Rachel:** So…something bad happened in the past?

**Shelby:** Before I cam to Lima the first time.

**Rachel:** …you dated her?

**Shelby:** Yes…before I gave birth to you.

**Rachel:** But it didn't work out?! Why? You two would be the perfect couple! Is she a bitch to nonstudents too?

**Shelby:** Uh, no… you happened.

**Rachel:** and she wanted nothing to do with me. That's why she hates me so much.

**Shelby:** Yes, that is most likely the reason why…I was so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed most days and she tried so hard to make me better but I just couldn't shake it. I NEEDED you, baby girl. So I ended it and told her I had to come back to get you.

**Rachel:** She couldn't deal with it…you ended your happiness for me and now she thinks I'm a life ruiner.

**Shelby:** Not exactly… not necessarily. I went back to her after your talent show and things were better but she was such a heavy drinker…I ruined her. I couldn't deal with the drinking so I left again. That's why I don't want to talk about her.

**Rachel:** So I was RIGHT about her being an alcoholic. I knew she was hung over the other day… don't you still love her?

**Shelby:** I still love her with EVERYTHING in me. But I ruined her life, baby girl.

**Rachel:** You can get her back—I'll help you!

Things were finally starting to make sense to Rachel about her mother's closed off past. There were deep feelings that Shelby had kept shoved down and hidden for years—it wouldn't surprise Rachel if this was the first time she had told anybody about it. She just had so much guilt…

**Shelby:** No… not if she's still a drinker.

**Rachel:** Don't you see? I'm making it worse. Every time she sees me she thinks of you.

**Shelby:** I don't need you to handle my ex-girlfriend, Rachel. I'll send her an email…right now…

**Rachel:** Tell me what it says?

**Shelby:** No…you've done enough baby girl…let me handle this.

**Rachel:** Okay, but I haven't really done anything…

**Shelby:** Yes, you have. You finally got me to open up. Isn't that what you wanted?

**Rachel:** Well…yes…she'll probably answer back right away, I can't imagine she's sleeping on a Saturday night…

**Shelby:** okay

**Rachel:** So…I broke up with Brody.

For a while, Shelby didn't see Rachel's latest update, she had set to writing the email she just promised she'd write. It was now or never, right?

After taking a deep breath, she opened up her account and hit the Compose button before she started to write, with anxious fingers…

Dearest Cassandra,

Hi, baby. It's me. God, how I've missed you…your sweet smile, that beautiful blonde hair and your amazing personality. How you could make me laugh over anything—always found a way to make me smile. I miss the way you used to hold me and kiss me and calm me down even after the most horrible of days or before the most nerve wracking performances.

I'm so sorry, Cassie. I'm sorry I left you…both times…I never stopped loving you; you know that, don't you? Please tell me you know that… I didn't leave because I wanted to.

I'm sorry that I ruined you. I'm sorry that I broke you.

But I want to make it up to you…somehow. Is there any way that I can?

Missing you like crazy…I love my life but I get so lonely…especially without you.

Love you to death.

With the most sincere love,

Shelby

After forcing herself to hit send, she went back to her IM window, where she saw that Rachel's name was flashing. She read it with sad eyes.

**Rachel:** So…I broke up with Brody.

**Shelby:** I heard. Santana told me all about him.

**Rachel:** He's such an ass.

**Shelby:** Yes, he is. You are so much better off without him.

Shelby tapped her keys, feeling uneasy. Cassandra had definitely NOT answered her right back. Maybe it was a bad idea to email her…

**Rachel:** Seriously though, who would do something like that? I mean, why would you sell yourself for money when you have someone who loves you?

Shelby dropped her jaw. _Ouch, Rach._

**Shelby:** I don't know… some people are just idiots.

Rachel seemed to notice her mistake.

**Rachel: **…Mom, I didn't mean it like…

**Shelby:** It's okay, Rach.

**Rachel:** no, it's not…

**Shelby:** But what I did really isn't the same thing. I gave away my baby for money…because you dads needed someone to have you…

**Rachel:** It's just…he hurt me, mama.

**Shelby:** I know he did, baby girl.

**Rachel:** And what irritates me even more is that Santana knew it all along and she TRIED to tell me.

**Shelby:** Well, at least she tried…

Shelby knew all too well the story of Brody—Santana had complained to her about it every Sunday. She had never seen Santana so hurt that Rachel wouldn't listen to her, and she had never seen her so pissed off about something in her life.

**Rachel:** Yeah, but did you really expect me to listen to her? After our past?

**Shelby:** I don't know, honey.

**Rachel:** I mean…he was so perfect. Apparently he was just the college version of Jesse.

Unsure what to say and still fretting because of Cassie's inability to write back fast enough, Shelby just responded, simply, knowing that Rachel would carry on until she go to the point of her rant—which she really wasn't sure of, but she knew it had nothing to do with Brody.

**Shelby:** Yeah…

**Rachel:** Not even Jesse would have stooped so low though, would he? I mean it's not like her loved me or anything, he just got close to me because he was told to…

**Shelby:** No, he wouldn't. Haha, he had too much pride for something like that. But he really did love you. I ruined that too, and I'm sorry.

**Rachel:** Did he love me? He egged me. He broke my heart and killed a bunch of baby chickens. If he loved me he would have come back.

**Shelby:** I know…

**Rachel:** Now no one will dance with me in Cassie's class. I'm lucky she ever let HIM dance with me…

**Shelby:** I'm sure someone will baby girl.

There it was—1 new email. Shelby practically fell out of her chair as she went to read it.

Hey Babe,

I've missed you too—more than I care to admit. I've been a mess, Shelbs, I can't lie to you- but I'm sure you know that. If you didn't hear about my "Crazy Cassandra July" episode I'm sure your daughter told you all about how horrible I am…I doubt the drinks help, but sometimes that's just unavoidable.

I knew she was yours the second I looked at her, and I have to tell you…it hurt. So maybe I push her a bit—it's only because she's got so much potential, you know I wouldn't deliberately wound her…

I never stopped loving you either. Even now, I'm sitting here writing to you and my stomach is doing some sort of Cirque Du Soleil flipping shit that's starting to freak me out. I've got to see you again. Soon. Now? No, not now that seems WAYYY desperate.

You say you're lonely? I am too. Well, I can fix that…. Love you so much,

Cassie

It took Shelby a minute to absorb the information and try to get up the courage to write back. Cassie wasn't pissed? She missed her too? She was flirting already… "Well I can fix that…"…

Her stomach knotted, her heart pounded. She felt like the young girl that Cassie used to make her feel like. She felt like things in her life could be better again—that Cass could make her better.

Cassie,

You think you can fix me? …..Oh really now? ;)

I know you're not hurting Rachel just to hurt her…but you should back off just a little bit before she goes crazy on you—remember who her mother is…

We need to catch up before anything else happens—it's been way too long, baby. How have you been, really?

Rachel says you've been drinking a lot recently…she could tell the other day that you were hung over. You really need to be more careful.

Xo, Shelby

Shelbs,

Yes, Corcoran, I'm well aware whose daughter the girl is.

I know my drinking is a problem. I'm okay though, really.

I need to get some rest—I have rehearsal for half the day tomorrow and I'm sure you do too for something or other. Talk to you later, babe.

Be ready tomorrow at 7.

XoXo, Cass

Shelby's breath caught— "Be ready tomorrow at 7," there her Cassie was back, openly flirting, being completely forward and already insisting on a date. Well of course she was going to go with it—that's what you did, when you were in love with Cassandra July.

Realizing she had been neglecting her daughter, Shelby hurriedly made it back to the IM page and read Rachel's latest quip.

**Rachel:** Now I'm back to dancing in the damn corner. Because as Ms July told me yesterday, I don't have the sex appeal to dance a tango.

**Shelby:** Oh, that should be fixed…she should start being nicer to you…

**Rachel:** Don't do that! You'll make things worse… "Oh, you went and complained to mommy? On Broadway you don't get to stop the show so mommy can hand you a sippy cup."

**Shelby: **No it won't, we've been talking already. I've apologized. We have a date tomorrow night.

**Rachel:** wow, really? That's great, mom. Does that mean she won't be saying anything like "Some people less narcissistic than yourself stay out of their mother's personal lives just so their dance teachers don't kick their asses every day."

**Shelby:** She doesn't know that you talked me into this.

**Rachel:** yet

**Shelby:** I'm not telling her, Rach.

**Rachel:** Okay, but isn't it bad to start a relationship based on half a truth?

**Shelby: **No…and who said we're starting a relationship? We're just having dinner… Besides I didn't do anything but tell her that I missed her and never stopped loving her which isn't a lie or as you said "half the truth".

**Rachel:** so you said I missed you and she said "okay, Corcoran, let's go out".

**Shelby:** …no, she said she missed me too, but if she knows I told anyone that she'll kill me so keep that between us, got it?

**Rachel:** yes, mama.

**Shelby:** Then we just talked about how I'm happy with my life right now but I do get lonely. Then she said "well I can fix that" and I said "oh really now?" and she said "Yes Corcoran. Be ready tomorrow at 7"

**Rachel:** That's so great! She really wants you back again.

**Shelby:** I guess it looks that way, Rach

**Rachel:** …well don't be so excited about it…

**Shelby:** We will see where this goes, okay? Just be happy for me Rach.

**Rachel:** I am happy for you, of course I am.

Rachel chewed on her lower lip, pulling her pillow closer as she glanced at the clock. Already twelve forty-five and Santana still wasn't back from her date with Dani. She had probably just stayed the night with her, but that didn't make Rachel feel any less bad.

…She had been having…feelings…about Santana recently. They were definitely not feelings she wanted anybody to know about—especially since she wasn't even sure she was gay and she didn't know if they were just desperate feelings after Brody and Finn and all of her past bad experiences with guys. But she was so sick of not telling anybody about it—it was eating her alive, and if Shelby was going to open up so much to her, Rach could talk to her too, right? She took a long, deep breath before writing,

**Rachel:** Mom… I need to talk to you about something…

**Shelby: **Okay, baby, what's wrong? I know something's been eating at you…

**Rachel:** …never mind. I thought I could talk about it but I can't…

**Shelby:** No, talk to me.

**Rachel:** It's awkward and pathetic…not even work your time.

**Shelby:** Tell me, Rachel.

**Rachel:** …It's about Santana.

**Shelby:** Okay…

**Rachel:** I…

**Shelby:** Just tell me, Rach!

**Rachel:** Okay… well the other day she was just waltzing around the apartment in nothing but her bra and underwear. WHAT?! She's not the only one that lives here! And who says she can just do that? I mean…that's not okay, because…it just isn't.

Completely stumped as to her daughter's seemingly random outburst, Shelby had to think about the real meaning to that rant for a moment. Finally, she just wrote,

**Shelby:** I don't see the problem here, Rach. She's gay, Kurt's gay, you're straight-Oh my god…I see the problem now.

Why hadn't she thought of it before?!

**Rachel:** DON'T get carried away with your ideas…

**Shelby:** Baby girl, are you gay?

**Rachel:** I…No…I don't…

**Shelby: **It's okay if you are…you know now that I'm into women…I wasn't aware that you knew before, but…

**Rachel:** I just sort of guessed… but, I mean, it's SANTANA.

**Shelby:** Am I that obvious? And so what if it's Santana?

**Rachel:** No, not extremely obvious, it took me a while…and… okay, okay so I might be sort of gay-ish…

**Shelby:** And what?

**Rachel:** and she can't just WALTZ around my apartment with no clothes when I live there too because I think I really like her and I've not really wanted to think about things like that…

**Shelby:** Well, sometimes you have to think about things you don't want to, baby girl.

**Rachel: **Okay, don't just flip my words back at me. She's just…she's hot mom. And her personality…I mean, yeah she can be sort of bitchy sometimes, but can't everybody? And I've loved her like family for years in Glee club but…it feels like something different now…something more.

**Shelby:** Why don't you just tell her?

**Rachel:** ABOSLUTELY NOT!

**Shelby:** Why not?

**Rachel:** BECAUSE SHE'S SANTANA! SHE'LL MURDER ME!

**Shelby: **You don't know that unless you talk to her.

**Rachel:** You don't know HER!

**Shelby:** I know her more than you think…

**Rachel:** What does THAT mean?

_There you go again, Shelby, always saying more than you mean to…now San's gonna kill ME._

Well now that she had nothing else to lose…

**Shelby:** Just that we talk.

**Rachel:** About?

**Shelby:** Stuff.

**Rachel:** Come on, Shelby.

**Shelby:** You, okay? We talk about you.

**Rachel:** ME?!

**Shelby:** There are a grand total of two people in this world that scare me and they are Cassie July and Santana Lopez and here in ONE NIGHT you've made me spill a secret about each of them. Are you trying to get me killed?

**Rachel:** No, I'm not trying to get you killed. I was trying to figure out why Santana is talking about me to my mother. It's just that…she's Santana. I'm dwarf and Hobbit. We have a bad history. Besides, isn't she still in love with Brittany?

**Shelby:** No, she's dating Dani.

**Rachel:** I know that—you can date someone and still love someone else.

_Isn't THAT the truth…_ Shelby shook her head at how scarily good her daughter was at getting information out of her.

**Rachel:** So what happened then? See? She's like Ms July, she doesn't let anyone in and all she ever does in insult me.

**Shelby:** Isn't that all Cassie does to you? Because why? Think, Rachel.

**Rachel:** Because she hates me.

**Shelby:** Be rational—she has no reason to hate you. You remind her of me and she still loves me and she's trying to fight off those feelings…the same thing goes for Santana.

**Rachel:** …that means nothing, they aren't EXACTLY alike, right? San's not an alcoholic.

**Shelby:** Sure she isn't an alcoholic now but give her time and she'll turn into Cassie if she keeps having to harbor hate towards you. She thinks you're straight and therefore can't love her the way she wants you too so she's mean to you so that she can fight away the feelings she really has. You just have to be honest with her, baby girl.

**Rachel:** Now you're just saying a bunch of words to make me go out with her. But we can't, we already LIVE together. How awkward would THAT be?

**Shelby:** That wouldn't be awkward at all, Rach.

**Rachel:** But what if the date went wrong? We would never be able to escape it!

**Shelby:** Just trust me that things will go fine. She really likes you too, Rachel. If you go into it expecting something bad to happen, then something bad WILL happen.

**Rachel:** How did our roles tonight get switched so fast? Wasn't I the one giving YOU relationship advice?

**Shelby:** I'm the mom—this really is my job. Stop being like me and over-thinking shit, Rach just GO for it.

**Rachel:** I DON'T WANT TO JUST COME OUT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M GAY.

**Shelby:** Don't yell at me, Rachel Barbra. I'm just trying to help you. I didn't know I was gay until I kissed Cassie for the first time…it was…it was incredible, Rach, and she's the only woman I've ever been gay for—all of my other relationships were with men.

**Rachel:** Really don't want to think about my mom kissing my teacher…even if it is adorable to hear the story…

**Shelby:** Don't change the subject—besides you were trying to hook us up earlier, make up your mind…

**Rachel:** She's just going to be mad I never said anything earlier.

Shelby couldn't help but roll her eyes at her daughter's dramatics.

**Shelby:** San? She'll just have to get over it.

**Rachel:** Right. You wanna be the one to tell her that? What happened to being afraid of her?

**Shelby:** I will then. I admit that I'm sometimes afraid of how she will respond to certain things, but I really think this will make her life. I know that she respects me and she'll listen to me.

**Rachel:** You can't tell her I like her, mama…

**Shelby:** Then you'd better.

**Rachel:** Me?!

**Shelby:** Because you see how well I can keep my mouth shut… you have until I get home tomorrow night…Cass and I are going out at seven.

**Rachel: **YOU CAN'T GIVE ME THAT ULTIMATUM!

**Shelby:** Sundays are when I talk to Santana, Rachel.

**Rachel:** but…but mama…this could affect my entire life.

**Shelby:** it'll be a positive change, Rachel. You never know until you try—you just fed me the same shit about Cassie and now look at us. I'd better either hear from you that she knows or I will have to tell her myself and it may change your life forever…

**Rachel:** ….this really isn't fair. Can't I at least talk to Kurt about it first?

**Shelby:** Yes. So I will give you until next Sunday night.

**Rachel:** Is that my only alternative?

**Shelby:** Take it or leave it, Rach.

**Rachel: **I don't appreciate the RENT reference… :p

**Shelby: ** Of course you did.

**Rachel:** So, I think Kurt and Blaine are secretly dating…again.

**Shelby:** Awe. They make such a cute couple.

**Rachel:** He's trying and failing so badly to hide it…

**Shelby: **Why don't you ask him about it?

**Rachel:** haha okay maybe I will… he's been talking to his body pillow the way he talks to Blaine and he's been on the phone with "someone" for HOURS behind closed doors. OOOH, here he comes I'm going to put this on Mic okay? So you can hear…

**Shelby:** Okay.

Rachel hit the Mic button and motioned Kurt towards her part of the room. "Come here, for a sec."

He trotted towards her with a smile on his face. "What's up, Rach?"

"…I have a confession to make—I know you're dating Blaine again. I know it was him you were just talking to."

Kurt dropped his jaw in denial, doing a horrible job of lying when he protested, "I'm not dating Blaine, and I wasn't talking to him either!"

"Oh, really?" Rachel scoffed. From Shelby's position in her chair in her bedroom, Shelby laughed, unplugging her laptop and taking it to her bed, getting comfortable, aware that this night would last longer than she expected it to. "Who is it, then?" she heard Rachel ask.

"Someone new," Kurt said with force.

"Really? What's his name?

"….Carter."

"It's okay, Kurt. You don't have to lie to us," Shelby finally speaks up.

Kurt's face turns beet red and he frowns. "That's not fair, pitting two against one like this." He checks the clock. "Santana seems to be having fun on her date…she left hours ago…" then he sighs, "Okay, okay, Berry. I KNOW your nosy mother put you up to this…"

Shelby dropped her jaw, sounding an "UH!" of protest.

"I confess," Kurt spoke again. "I went back to Blaine. But that means, Rachel, that you have to tell me what you're hiding…"

Rachel's heart sped up. She knew that her mother would be expecting her to tell Kurt now, but she couldn't get herself to say anything—this little bit of news could change everything and she liked things the way they were—except for the fact that Santana was off on an excruciatingly long date with Dani.

"Who me? I'm not hiding anything. Open book, you know me," she glanced back down at her laptop, casually.

"Rach," Kurt put a hand on his hip. "Come on."

Shelby sat at her computer silently, not wanting to interfere such an important moment. She prayed Kurt would get Rachel to crack.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Kurt."

Shelby, before Kurt could say anything else, rushed to her kitchen to fill up her tea. When she got back she blew on the cup and swallowed some of it, careful not to burn herself.

"Rachel. Les-be-honest."

"What?!"

Shelby set her cup down and covered her mouth, trying to hide a laugh and hoping Rachel didn't hear it. She knew she was horrible, but it was just Kurt's tone of voice…he always knew just what to say to catch people off guard. Shelby was definitely not expecting that of all things to come out of his mouth.

"I see the way you look at her," Kurt continued.

"At who?"

"Cassandra…"

"CASSANDRA?!"

Shelby, who was halfway through getting a huge gulp of tea, started choking on it, spitting it all over her blankets in front of her and hitting her hand to her chest, trying to get her breathing to go back to normal.

"It's okay, Rach," Kurt said sympathetically. "I won't tell anyone."

"Kurt, I—I don't like Cassandra, she's my—"

"Your sexy as hell teacher—don't worry, Rach, she has that affect on everyone. Have you seen her abs?"

Shelby tried not to think about Cassie's abs—which were fantastic—there was a serious situation here!

"Kurt, no! I don't like Cassandra, it's not like that!"

"TELL HIM, RACHEL," Shelby choked out from her position, still trying to clear her throat all the way. This yell went unheard by Kurt and ignored by Rachel.

"That's not my secret! KURT, GET BACK HERE! KURT! I DON'T LIKE MS JULY! MOM, HE'S GONE! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE THE APARTMENT AFTER A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT! WHERE THE HELL IS HE GOING TO GO AT ONE IN THE MORNING?!"

Shelby had finally gotten her breath back and whispered, "Oh my god…"

At that moment, Santana walked through the door. Apparently she hadn't stayed with Dani for the night…

"Hey, Hobbit, whatcha doing?" she wondered, looking disgustingly giddy for Santana—Rachel assumed the worst had happened with her and Dani—the worst for Rachel, anyways, though Santana probably enjoyed it thoroughly.

"Nothing, just…nothing." Rachel was still trying to process what Kurt now thought was going on between her and her teacher.

"Well that's not suspicious…" Santana threw her purse down onto the couch and walked towards Rachel.

"I'm just…talking to Shelby…"

"Oh, hey Shelbs," Santana said into the mic.

"Hey, San…"

"So what are you guys talking about?" Santana leaned over Rachel's shoulder, trying to read the past conversation but Rachel freaked and covered her screen.

"None of your business, Santana," she didn't mean to spit so furiously back but Santana equally reciprocated quickly.

"Jesus, dwarf, chill."

"Tell her, Rach," Shelby warned.

Rachel glared at her computer, as if her mother could feel the heated anger of her glance through the screen. She didn't talk to Kurt about it! Not the right secret!

"What's the matter, Rach?" Santana continued. "Afraid I'll see that you're talking to mommy about mean old Ms Cassie July? Scared I might tell Crazy July that you complain to mommy about her?"

"TELL HER, RACHEL," Shelby raised her voice and Santana raised an eyebrow, assuming that she just meant to tell her about their conversation.

"That's not what we're talking about, Santana," Rachel's voice got quieter.

"Rachel," Shelby practically scolded.

"Tell me what?" Santana's interest was officially perked and she crossed her arms.

Rachel got scared and defensive—when Santana had crossed her arms, her low V-neck suddenly made parts of the girl's chest clearly visible. Her mouth went dry and she didn't know how to react. "Will you please just stay out of my face?!" she said.

"Fine! I'll be here, whenever you decide to FINALLY THANK ME for getting rid of your man whore."

"WE AGREED NOT TO BRING UP BRODY IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN, EVER." Rachel screamed, not thinking before doing anymore.

"YOU AGREED THAT WITH LADY HUMMEL, I SAID NO SUCH THING LITTLE MISS DAVID SCHWIMMER."

From behind her computer, Shelby shook her head disappointingly, leaving her room to get a new comforter and put her newly tea covered one in the wash. When she returned, she heard Rachel say,

"Only Ms July can call me that!"

"No," Santana smirked. "I like it. It's catchy."

"Santana, you KNOW how much the woman hates me."

"Good, maybe I can take a few pages out of her book."

"Oh my GOD." Shelby said from her bedroom into her microphone. "Enough! Santana, Rachel…"

The girls went silent and Shelby admitted to Santana, if to do anything but change the subject,

"I have a date with Cassie tomorrow night…"

"Oh?" Santana grinned, knowing how long Shelby had been wanting to get back together with her. "Hot, Shelbs. Why couldn't Berry have just SAID that instead of making a big fucking deal out of everything? I swear she doesn't get her dramatics from you…"

"Yes she does," Shelby laughs. "You should have seen the conversation leading up to that."

"NO, she shouldn't have." Rachel practically choked.

Shelby laughed lightly. If only Rachel understood that being gay wasn't as big of a deal as she seemed to think it was.

"Oooh, let me at it," Santana reached over Rachel's shoulder and Rachel practically shoved her back.

"Santana would you please just leave me alone? Wait until tomorrow night to talk to Shelby—this is my night."

Shelby spoke up, "It was just me being a closed off bitch and refusing to let Rachel in. She didn't know about my past with Cass…" she filled Santana in on half of the story.

"How do you know I have a night to talk to Shelbs, Hobbit?" Santana turned on Rachel.

"I told her, San." Shelby sighed. "And please stop calling her "hobbit"."

"Oh, so do you tell her EVERYTHING?"

"No, will you calm down? We'll talk tomorrow night…"

Santana pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms again. Rachel's eyes widened, unsure which part of Santana to look at before realizing that if she didn't want San to know, she really shouldn't look at her at all.

"Fine, whatever. I'm going to bed. Later, Schwimmer."

"Quit being so bitchy, Santana Marie," Shelby warned.

Rachel smiled at Santana's full name—it was really pretty and she had never known it before. "Your middle name is Marie?" it was so close to Maria—the lead character in one of Rachel's favorite musicals, West Side Story.

"Thanks, C. Great to know I can talk to you."

"Santana…tomorrow." Shelby made her voice stern and she knew that Santana would respect her after that. The girl was hard to control, but Shelby was slowly learning how to do it.

"….yes, okay, we'll talk tomorrow."

Santana left the room and Rachel caught herself watching as she left, her extremely short dress teasing and unfair. She glared back down at the floor, cursing herself.

"Baby girl, I'm going to go to bed too. I have a big day tomorrow-well, actually I guess it's today now. I love you. Have sweet dreams."

"I love you too, mama. Goodnight."

Rachel shut her computer and curled up in her bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about her options. In truth, she didn't have any. Kurt thought she was in love with her teacher, her mom knew she was in love with her roommate and old enemy, and claimed that she was liked by her too. Things were slowly turning into one big mess.

Shelby re-made her bed and pulled herself under the covers, closing her laptop and pushing it off to the side. She had a date with Cassie "tonight". Cassie. The woman she had been in love with since forever—the one whose heart she broke—the one she could never stop thinking about—the one she had been losing sleep over. She didn't know what to do with herself—she still couldn't sleep.


	2. July Will Make You Crazy

A/N: Just a reminder….not all of the chapters will have a lot of the IM format. This will be it for a while. :) enjoy! –hayleynymphodora and DefyGravity09

Ch. 2: July Will Make You Crazy

Shelby ran around her house, freaking out about the reconnection she was about to have with Cassandra. At least that's the way she saw it…a reconnection. _This isn't a date, Shelby. You haven't seen her in years_" she told herself sternly. She didn't want to get her hopes too high.  
She walked into her closet to start the process of finding an outfit. It didn't take too long; she bought a dress years before in case she ever met someone special. It was a short, deep purple, tight fitting dress. It hugged her curves in all the right places. She paired it with a pair of grey pumps. Happy with her decision, she went to take a shower, catching herself humming a familiar tune as she did so. It took her a moment to place the song, "Fire" by Bruce Springsteen; it had always been her and Cassie's song. She smiled to herself as she turned the water off and got out.  
Shelby wrapped her towel around her and pulled out her blow dryer and curling iron. After plugging the curling iron in, she began blow drying her long brown locks. She added a few curls and brushed them out after they cooled to add some wave to her hair. Then she began tackling her makeup. She decided to go for a smoky eye with a hint of purple to match her dress. It really brought out those gorgeous green eyes that Cassie had always loved. After putting on her dress and giving herself a once over in the mirror, Shelby made her way to the living room to make sure she had everything she would need in her purse.  
About 15 minutes later, right at 7pm, there was a knock at the door. Shelby took a breath and went to open the door. The sight in front of her took her back to the old days. Cassie still looked the same. She was in a tight ass black dress, sleeveless showing off her dancer arms. Her hair was perfectly straight and makeup was very natural. She was gorgeous. Shelby smiled, grabbed her purse from the table by the door, and stepped out into the hallway.  
"Hello, Gorgeous." Cassandra said once they were walking towards the elevator.  
Shelby couldn't contain the blush that rushed to her face. "Hey, Cassie."  
Inside the car, (Cassie hired a driver for the night), Shelby realized she still had no idea where they were going.  
"Cass, where are you taking me?"  
"Let it be a surprise, Corcoran. Just trust me, okay?" Shelby nodded and looked out the window, hoping to figure it out-she wasn't good with surprises. A moment later she felt a hand reach over and grab hers. Startled, she turned to Cassandra who had a smile on her face. "I've missed you, Shelbs."  
Shelby returned the smile and squeezed the hand in hers. "I've missed you too, Cass."  
The rest of the car ride was silent. Then, "We're here. Come on." Shelby looked around and realized she was in Central Park.  
"I thought we were going to dinner, Cassandra." Shelby said, feeling a little worried.  
"We are, babe. Trust me. Come on." Cassie reached out her hand which Shelby took.  
"Now, I know you were probably expecting a dinner at some big restaurant like Sardis or The View, but we don't have a past there. I am taking you somewhere that is special for us." Just as Cassie finished speaking, they arrived at the destination. Shelby was in awe of everything. Cassie had a candle lit in the middle of a table, two wine glasses and a bottle of Shelby's favorite wine, Pinot Noir. She had taken Shelby to the Gapstow Bridge, the place where they first met. That's where they shared their first kiss, and their last kiss: the day Shelby left Cassie. This was always their spot. They went there for everything—every serious talk they ever had, happened there, on that bridge. Shelby turned to Cassandra with tears glistening her eyes.  
"It's beautiful, Cass."  
"I know, right? I thought this was a perfect spot for us to reconnect."  
"You are very right. And look at the view of the city from here…"  
They ate in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence. They were letting things soak in.  
After dinner, which was served by a waiter that had perfect timing and was a god send for making himself disappear, the women decided to take a stroll along the pathway.  
"Shelby I am sorry I drove you away. I have been getting better. For you." Cassie said after a while.  
"Oh, Cass. You have to get better for you, not for me. But I am sorry that I caused you to start drinking. I am so sorry."  
"I guess we are both to blame, huh? Truce?" Cassie stopped and held out her hand for Shelby to shake on it.  
Shelby shook her head and smiled before grabbing Cassie's hand and pulling her into a very desperate, passionate kiss that they only pulled away from when they needed air. "Truce."  
"Shit, I would hope so after that. Damn, that was hot Shelbs." Cassie said, before pulling the brunette in for another kiss. They walked back to the car, Cassie's arm around Shelby's waist and Shelby resting her head on Cassandra's shoulder.  
Once back at Shelby's apartment, Cassie got out of the car and opened Shelby's door.  
"Well, aren't you going to walk me up?" Shelby asked, trying to be seductive.  
"No, I don't think that's a very good idea. Plus you know me, Shelbs," Cassie said, pulling Shelby close so she could whisper the next part, "I don't make love on the first date." She smiled to herself when she realized that she did in fact send shivers up Shelby's body. She pecked Shelby on the cheek before heading back to the car, but not before saying, "Good night, Shelby. Sweet Dreams." And adding a wink for good measure.

It had been 2 hours since she got home from her date and Shelby still felt shivers go down her spine. Her lips still held a slight smile that just didn't seem to want to disappear, and she was radiant. Yes, she had been acknowledging the fact that it was in fact a date more than a reconnection. After that hot passionate kiss and sexy talk afterwards how could she not?  
She slipped into pajama pants and a tank top before crawling under her soft covers and pulling them close to her and opening up her laptop to sign in with Santana. She knew she was a little late, but Santana would just get over it.

**Santana:** Hey, C.

**Shelby:** Hey, San

**Santana: **So…based on this late hour I can assume your date went…well?

Shelby blushed from behind her screen, thinking about what Santana was obviously insinuating.

**Shelby:** Nothing like THAT happened…she "doesn't make love on the first date".

**Santana:** Ah. And you were disappointed by this?  
**Shelby:** Just leave it be, San!

**Santana:** You tell me almost everything and you're not going to tell me why she didn't put out? Like she hasn't with you before?!

**Shelby:** Tonight was special! She took me to our place and it was very romantic—she knows how to get my attention. I do worry about her drinking though…

**Santana:** She's an alcoholic, Shelbs, she can't just put it down, ya know? She needs help.

**Shelby:** Yes, and she needs to let me help her…or at least show me she's attempting to get better…anyways, how was your day?

**Santana:** Eh, it was a day.

**Shelby:** Uh oh, that doesn't sound too promising…

**Santana:** Rachel's been flipping out all morning and it's REALLY getting on my last damn nerve.

**Shelby:** Why is she freaking out?

**Santana:** She and Kurt keep arguing about something…I wouldn't know what, because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with both of them and have been ignoring about half of what they're saying (not like they'd talk to me anyways), but I think it has to do with your girlfriend.

**Shelby:** Oh…okay.

**Santana:** You don't deny that she's your girlfriend?

"Damn it, San. You always hit me when I least expect it," Shelby rolled her eyes and typed…

**Shelby:** Shit…you tricked me into that one. Rachel made Kurt admit that he was talking to Blaine again.

**Santana:** Ahh. So what's this have to do with July?

**Shelby:** So, he swears that Rachel really has a crush on my Cassie.

**Santana:** Haha what? Well fuck, we don't know, maybe she does…

**Shelby:** No, she doesn't. Trust me.

**Santana:** You sure? Could be why she's so stuttery around her…and why she talks about her NONSTOP.

**Shelby:** She is tired of the way Cass treats her…

**Santana:** Could be why July treats her worse than I do…you sure Cassie's who you think she is?

**Shelby:** San, stop it. Rachel doesn't like Cass and Cass doesn't like Rach. Cassie was taking her anger at me out on Rachel. I left her the first time because of Rachel. You know that story; don't pretend to forget it now just because you're jealous.

**Santana:** Shit, C. I didn't think about that…

**Shelby:** I told Rachel the whole story last night…seeing her when she was seven and then again at thirteen…

**Santana:** Wow, what'd Berry have to say to all of that craziness?

**Shelby:** Well…nothing. I just keep fucking up.

**Santana:** Is THAT why she's been so freaky all day? God, it's like I can't do a god damned thing in this apartment anymore… and you're not a fuck up, C.

**Shelby:** When it comes to Rachel, I am

**Santana:** Everything was her dads' fault, not yours.

**Shelby:** I thought she would be happy to know that I was there, but she said, and I quote, "I don't know what to say to that." And then changed the subject.

**Santana:** Berry speechless? Never thought I'd see the day.

**Shelby: **Ha.

**Santana:** Definitely something I'd pay to see in the flesh…

**Shelby:** Not nice, San.

**Santana:** Damn her and Kurt breaking out into song every two seconds. SHIT I SAY SOMETHING AND THEY DO IT? WHAT THE HELL? Ugh.

**Shelby:** I just want us to be okay. I mean, shit, one day she's all needy and wants me to be open with her, and then she gets all weird and backs off. I don't know what to do anymore. Sorry about the songs…that's my fault. It's the Broadway in us.

**Santana:** The moodiness is just how Berry is. Trust me, C. I KNOW this drama queen and all that she's capable of.

**Shelby:** I guess.

Shelby stared at her ceiling, trying not to feel so low. Moments later, Santana responded,

**Santana:** She used to be like that with Mr. Schue. She does it to people she looks up to. One second she's all over you with excitement and want, then she's like "Oh wait, I'm pissed at you cuz you didn't give me a solo".

**Shelby: **Haha, well that's good, I guess.

**Santana:** It's petty. She'll get over it.

**Shelby:** Yeah, well…we'll see.

**Santana:** Not like the rest of us ever got solos. Did WE overreact? Well, only Asian…

**Shelby:** Now now, Santana. Be nice…

**Santana:** And there was that one time Britt-Britt and I got our Britney on… you know I'm not nice. Think of where I come from.

**Shelby:** Lima Heights Adjacent, yeah yeah yeah I know…

**Santana:** :p fuck you too.

**Shelby:** haha better be glad I know that is code for "I love you".

**Santana:** yeah, yeah. :p

**Shelby:** So…you still with Dani?

**Santana:** Yeah

**Shelby:** Do you love her?

**Santana:** Just went on a date with her tonight, actually. What do you mean do I love her?

**Shelby:** Do you see yourself with her for a long time?

**Santana:** I mean, yeah, I guess. I'm not used to that yet… you know I'm more of a one-night-stand kind of girl, it's a miracle Dani and I have lasted this long.

**Shelby:** Right

**Santana:** The only other girl I've been with for so long is Britt-Britt….I did love Britt. But I think Dani really cares about me, C.

**Shelby:** I am extremely proud of you, San. I know you don't like this mushy shit, but still…get over it. You have really turned your life around. You are a wonderful person, Santana Marie Lopez. I couldn't be prouder to be a part of your life.

**Santana:** Awe, shit, C. Don't make me get all teary eyed and don't go all therapist on me, come on now…

**Shelby:** I said sorry…

**Santana:** Yeah, well…

**Shelby:** Anyway, I have to get to bed…rehearsal tomorrow.

**Santana:** Okay.

**Shelby:** Have a good night, San.

**Santana:** Night, C.

Shelby logged off of the chat room and snapped her computer shut, setting it to the side and running her hands through her long brown hair with a wide yawn, curling up into a ball under her covers and getting comfortable. Not five seconds later, Shelby's phone vibrated on the bed next to her, lighting up "1 new text message".

She unlocked her screen and smiled widely, her whole body warming up and a blush rising to her cheeks. The text was from Cassandra.

*Hey babe. You awake still or do I need to let you rest?*

With a grin, completely forgetting what she had to do the next day and how exhausted she felt, she wrote back,

*I'm awake, baby. What's up?*

*Not much…just thinking about you and had to talk to you again sooner.*

*I know, I miss you already, too.*

After a pause in their conversation—a time during which Shelby's heart pounded waiting for a response, she read,

*Well you don't have to miss me too much…come by my class tomorrow?*

With a sigh, Shelby forced herself to type, *I can't tomorrow, I have rehearsal…Tuesday?*

*Tuesday it is. ;) so what are you up to, anyways?*

*Lying in bed, talking to you.*

*Mmm…thinking of me?*

*You could say that… ;)*

*And what, may I wonder, are you thinking about me?*

*Hmm. I think I'll keep that a secret.*

*Oh, will you now? Okay, okay, I see how it is. I take you out on the best date you've had since you dated me last, and you repay me by not telling me your dirty little thoughts?*

Shelby had to laugh, lightly.

*Oh, I'll make sure I pay you back later, make no mistake…*

*Hmm is this you making a promise?*

*This is me making you excited*

*Tease*

*I've learned from the best*

Cassandra was sprawled across her king bed on her stomach, smirking as she texted the woman she had been wanting to text again for years. She wrapped her blanket around her and tried not to shiver at the thought of Shelby "paying her back later" whatever THAT was supposed to mean. Shelby was always a tease though—she never meant anything serious until things were really serious again. And that, Cassandra could wait for, if it was what Shelby really wanted. That didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun with her now though.

*Yes you have, my dear. In more ways than one. I was your first woman, if I remember correctly?*

Shelby's blush grew as she wrote back,

*My one and only…*

*Oh, so I've really taught you EVERYTHING you know…*

*Now now, Cassandra, let's not get cocky. I can recall some things I did that caught you completely off guard…*

*Mmm and would you care to remind me of those things?*

Shelby took extra long to answer for dramatic affect before simply putting,

*Nope. I'm going to let you think about it on your own. I have to get some sleep now, baby. Rehearsal in the morning and I know you have classes. Goodnight, Cassie.*

*Goodnight, Shelbs. Sleep well, and hey—I love you.*

*I love you too*

And she did. No matter what she ever tried to tell herself after she left—that she wasn't gay, that she loved Will or that her fling with Puck felt better than anything with Cassie—those were all lies. Because she loved Cassandra July.


	3. Ain't it Shocking What Love Can Do?

**We're proud to present Chapter 3!**

**Tell us what you think so far! You know, questions, comments, or concerns and the like.**

**With love, Defygravity09 and hayleynymphadora**

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Ch.3 Ain't it Shocking What Love Can Do?

Shelby sat up in her bed and stretched with a yawn, turning to her clock. She didn't have rehearsal until later on that night, and she didn't have to go into the day care because she had put her most loyal worker in charge. It wasn't often that she ever went to the day care anymore—she occasionally went in to check up on things, and she paid them of course, but most days she had rehearsal for upcoming performances—her biggest income.

With a wince, she cracked her knuckles, back, and neck. She was really tight and realized she must have just slept wrong. It was nothing some yoga couldn't fix. After going through her daily yoga routine, she dressed in dark, tight skinny jeans, black boots, and her black leather jacket over a white tank top. She was in one of those kinds of moods, and it was Tuesday, which meant that she was going to go see Cassie. She really had to talk to Cassie about her drinking problem—dressing in leather was a safe bet that Cassie would at least pay attention, if not listen wholeheartedly.

Grabbing her keys and her cell and her bag, she walked out the door, about to head to the subway station before just sighing and walking the 6 blocks to the studio. After seeing Cassandra's sexy little figure a couple of nights before, she was feeling like she needed to form up a bit more.

The whole way there she worried about how she was going to bring this up to Cassandra. She knew the woman would not want to talk about it, especially not anywhere near her students. _So I guess I'll have to wait until her class is over…will she wait that long for you? I think she would…I hope she would..._ She just felt so bad that she had been the cause of this. The guilt of it was eating her alive and she knew she had to make things right and she intended to.

With a sudden thought, she checked the time on her phone and groaned. Of course she had to wake up and walk into Cass's studio in the same time slot as Rachel's class. Now how was she going to avoid Rachel's constant pleading with her? Didn't Rachel understand that it was hard enough to feel sane enough to go on a date with Cassie, let alone come into her studio to see her so early in the morning because she already hated being away from her for too long. She realized she never told Rachel how their date went, and she would likely hound her with questions the second she saw her. Of course, Shelby could always retaliate with "Have you told Santana you love her yet?" She also realized she hadn't really been fair, talking to Santana the night before, asking about Dani, but she knew that had she said anything more about the subject, Santana would've gotten suspicious and Shelby wouldn't have been able to keep her mouth shut, and then Rachel would be pissed, and the relationship they had been trying so desperately to have would have been destroyed.

After reaching the college and taking a final deep breath, she opened the doors and made her way to Cassandra's studio. She walked through the door to find Cassie clapping her hands together quickly and instructing, her back turned to Shelby. She swayed her hips to the music, her body only covered by a thin piece of black fabric that she called a leotard, with the sleeves hanging off her shoulders, and black fish net stockings. She stomped down a heeled shoe to the beat,

"And 5-6-7-8 you," she pointed to a student who promptly took Cassie by the hands and spun her in a certain way, pulling her into the air by her arms and dropping her clumsily, however she still landed gracefully.

"Fine, but a better fall next time, and 5-6-7-8 you!" she commanded of the next student who did better than the first but not by much.

"What the hell?!" Cassie said forcefully. "Did I not teach you freshies how to drop a woman the right way? 5-6-7-8 YOU," another did the exact same thing that she just criticized. She had yet to realize Shelby was in the room, very focused on her teaching. With a growl, she walked sassily over towards the corner, where Brody Weston, her teacher's assistant, was standing with his arms crossed.

"Brody get your ass over here," she commanded, dragging him towards her. With widened eyes, Shelby watched her daughter (who had waved lightly in Shelby's direction when she walked in), glare in pure loathing. Seeming to know exactly how to show off, Brody picked Cassandra up by her waist, causing Shelby to blush—touching Cassie's waist was HER job—and flipped her over his shoulder before lightly, gracefully, setting her down on the floor as she went into a split. Shelby's stomach tightened as she watched Cassandra move like that—it had been too long since she'd seen Cassie dance—but she had to remind herself what she was in the studio to do. She had to talk to Cassie about her drinking problem—she wasn't there to stare at her while she danced with Rachel's man whore ex boyfriend.

"Hey, Cassie," Shelby finally spoke up, softly, from the corner of the room she was standing in. Cassandra spun her head around, her face lighting up.

"Hey, babe!" she beamed, snapping her fingers with her arms in the air. A freshman boy ran to her aid and helped her out of her position. She made her way over to Shelby and restrained from kissing her or touching her in some way before saying, "What's up?" she fixed her long blonde hair and pulled it down over her shoulders—it had gotten messy from the flip that she did, which Shelby had admittedly found extremely attractive, but…all the same…

"Cass," Shelby gave a sad smile. "Baby, we really need to talk..."

Some of the kids dropped their gazes to the ground. Rachel whistled a low tune and Cassandra raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Well shit…Whatever I did, I didn't do it…"

"No, it's not bad; you're not in trouble or anything…"

"Oh, okay…" Cassandra bit her lip questioningly and Shelby held back a swoon at the expression on her face.

Shelby laughed, lightly, "It's okay baby…" she looked around at the other students and whispered, "Maybe somewhere a little more private?" knowing fully well that if any of these students heard what Shelby came to talk to her about, she would never live it down.

"Mmm," Cass raised an eyebrow seductively. "And what did you have in mind?"

Her voice almost shaking, Shelby answered with a smirk, "Mind out of the gutter, Cassandra,"

The blonde grinned and tilted her head back with a light laugh. "Worth a shot," she winked before adding, "We can talk in Xavier's room, just down the hall. He's in a "conference"," she quoted with her fingers and took Shelby by the arm, leading her there. She called to her students behind her to continue practicing lifts in pairs.

Rachel watched, cheekily, as her mother left the room with her dance teacher, basically hip to hip. People in the class started murmuring about how they didn't know Cassandra was gay but that it was hot, and Rachel rolled her eyes and paired up with a boy she didn't know as she let him throw her in the air and drop her back down clumsily.

Once Shelby and Cassandra made it to Xavier's studio, Cass turned around to face Shelby, a look of concern on her face. "Alright, what's this all about, babe?"

Shelby took a long, shaky breath. "You know how much I love you, right? It's always been you."

Cassandra's voice grew softer, as her heart and mind recognized there was no one else around besides Shelby—her wall started to fall. "Of course, Shelby, tell me what's wrong."

Shelby took Cassie's hands passionately in her own and pulled her body closer, insisting, "I need you to get help, Cass." Her voice was soft and gentle; that of a lover.

Cassandra dropped Shelby's soft, perfect-fitting hands, and took a step back. Her wall slowly started to rise again. "Haha," she laughed. "Help? You're delusional, Shelbs. I don't need help…"

"Cassie," Shelby's voice broke—she was so serious and Cassandra knew that, but it hurt to think of serious things, so she ignored the guilty stab in her gut. "Don't do this, please,"

Shelby's plea broke Cassandra's heart but she continued to deny anything was happening. "Don't do what, Corcoran?"

"Don't push me away. I want this to work this time, Cassie, and I can't do it if you always have to be drunk."

Cassandra got defensive immediately, crossing her arms over her chest. "I am not ALWAYS drunk, I just need a little something every once in a while to…take the edge off!" she moved her arms while she spoke to show emphasis in her actions.

Shelby nodded her head slowly, knowing she needed to be cautious with this subject—she had to be gentle but not overbearing. "Okay…well I would believe that if I didn't know you. Shit, you smell of booze right now. Plus you already have me back, baby, I'm not going anywhere this time… isn't that enough to make you stop? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"That's Listerine!" Cassandra lied through her teeth as she rolled her eyes. "And yes, of COURSE I want you. I've always wanted you, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't, babe." Cassandra turned away from Shelby, running her hands through her hair.

"Then you HAVE to get help, July. Please, show me how much this—how much I—mean to you." Shelby reached out and took Cassandra hand, spinning her around to face her.

"Corcoran, you can't do this," Cassandra whined, looking into those deep green eyes of Shelby's, remembering all of the times they had together—the secret meetings at the bridge, the cutting class just to see each other, the lying in bed all day just talking and holding each other—God, she wanted it back so badly… "Don't you love me? I'm OKAY I promise—why can't you just take my word for it?"

"I just did this to you," Shelby answered, tears threatening to fill her eyes but she forced them back, harshly, scolding herself. "I am doing this because I love you. If you chose to get help, I will be by your side every step of the way. If you don't get help, well then…I won't be by your side at all." It killed her to even attempt to speak the words, and her voice nearly broke as she did it. She had just gotten her back…she couldn't lose her this time. "It's your choice…" she finished quietly, spinning on the spot and turning to walk away.

Cassandra watched in horror as the love of her life got ready to walk out the door. It wouldn't have been the first time, and a rush of memories came flooding to the surface.

**Shelby had woken up at three in the morning to find Cassie at her side, half naked and half asleep.**

** "What the hell are you doing?!" she exclaimed. "You're drunk, Cassandra. You're drunk AGAIN."**

** "It's not my fault you've been so high strung since you popped out your kid, let lose a little, jesus, C…" Cassie managed not to slur her words, and grinned wickedly. She beckoned Shelby near her. "Come here, have some fun with me…"**

** She kissed Shelby's neck lightly and Shelby forced herself to push away.**

** "No. Not when you're like this."**

** "Shelby, babe, you need to relax, and I know just how to take care of all of that tension in your system…"**

** "STOP CASSANDRA." Shelby's voice grew forceful as she pulled herself out of Cassie's bed and headed for the door of the apartment. "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE."**

** "GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, CORCORAN!" Cassie ran towards her, pleadingly but angrily. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"**

** "YOU. YOU'RE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME," Shelby yelled, grabbing her things and heading for the door. "I should've left a long time ago…" she mumbled, furious.**

** "Then WHY DIDN'T YOU?! What's stopping you?!" Cassandra almost tripped while walking towards Shelby, half tempted to strike the bitch across the face. This wouldn't be the first time Shelby had left and she knew that sooner or later it was going to happen this time around.**

** "I love you," tears streamed down Shelby's face. "I LOVE YOU Cassandra, don't you get that? Don't you understand?! Why can't you love me too?"**

** "I do love you! Don't pretend like I didn't know you've had one foot out the door since day one, just WAITING for me to fuck up again so you have an excuse to leave. DON'T LEAVE ME this time. We're not broken! We can fix this!"**

** "HOW?!" Shelby asked incredulously, putting her hands on her head and rubbing her temples. Cassandra took her by the arms and held her up against the back wall. Shelby's voice grew softer. "Are you going to stop this? Are you going to stop drinking?"**

** Cassandra shook violently, her heart torn in two. Didn't Shelby understand it was a part of her now? Didn't she get that she didn't know how? "I..I can't, babe…I just can't."**

** "You won't, is what you really mean. Goodbye, Cassandra." Shelby ripped herself away from Cassie's grasp and walked away. "It's nice to see what importance I have in your life. Amazing how you sorted out your priorities. I gave you a choice…"**

** "SHELBY!" She picked up the first thing she could find—a big glass vase full of roses that Shelby had bought her a few days earlier—and threw it at the door with all of her strength just as Shelby slammed it shut behind her.**

** It crashed loudly to the floor, scattering glass everywhere. Cassandra didn't care. She ran through the broken glass—it broke through the skin on her feet as she opened the door and yelled after her, "I FUCKING LOVE YOU. YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE AGAIN. SHELBY KIMBERLY CORCORAN! PLEASE!" **

** Shelby ignored her and kept walking.**

** Cassandra knew she was powerless to stop her. Her feet bled and she knew she wouldn't be able to dance for a solid week, which meant she would ultimately fail her dance midterm.**

** She didn't care. All she ever wanted was Shelby. And now she was gone.**

Cassandra forced herself away from the terrible memory. It was too soon now, to give up on this for all the same reasons. Cassandra's voice trembled and shattered as she shouted at Shelby, "DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, CORCORAN, PLEASE! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME AGAIN."

Shelby's heart split—she could literally feel it tearing—at the sound of Cassandra—strong willed, smart ass, I can do anything, I have no heart, Cassandra—shatter and break in front of her—over her. She absolutely could not believe the affect she was having on the woman—the woman who never showed emotion about anything, and the one who was always joking around, never serious about anything. She froze at the door. The feeling that all of this was her fault was unbearable—she knew she couldn't continue to walk out, even if she tried.

"Please," Cassandra said again. "You know I don't beg unless I truly mean it. Shelby, you know me."

The tears that Shelby had cast away were finally exploring the surface of her face. She sniffed and wiped one away, her back still to Cassandra. "What are you saying?" she whispered.

Cassandra strutted towards Shelby and spun the woman around, pulling her up against her body; giving the brunette shivers in places she didn't know she could shiver. Shelby tried her best to ignore the sensation.

"I'm saying," Cass rolled her eyes. "Fine. FINE I'll go to a meeting. Because I DO love you. So much. And if a meeting is what it takes to prove it to you, then damn it, Corcoran…"

"No," Shelby's voice grew stronger. "You have to complete the twelve step process. One meeting isn't going to do anything for you."

"Twelve fucking steps? You've got to be kidding me…"

"Take it or leave it, Cassandra."

Cass crossed her arms self consciously.

"Going once,"

Cassandra shrugged. "Do I have any other choice?"

"Going twice,"

Cassandra closed the gap between them with her mouth; a soft peck on Shelby's lips to keep her silent. "Fine."

"…really?" Shelby pulled back only far enough to speak—their lips still brushed when either of them said anything.

Cassandra's voice softened. "Really."

Shelby let out a breath. "Thank god…"

Laughing lightly, Cassandra softly took Shelby's hand in hers. "So when's this first meeting?"

"Next Tuesday."

"So soon?"

"Yes."

After sighing dramatically, Cass said, "Fine," and placed a tender kiss on Shelby's neck. "I have to go teach your daughter how to dance."

Shelby smiled and kissed Cassandra's lips, softly. "Be nice."

Cassandra backed away and winked, "Mmm. Maybe."

"I mean it, Cass. Please be nicer to her. I know that you have a method of teaching, but you're breaking the poor girl. Don't bully her—teach her."

Cassandra, who was swaying her hips teasingly as she went to leave the room, stopped at the door when she heard Shelby's voice. "Well you're very…needy today. No, wait, that's not the right word…demanding is more like it…"

Shelby huffed and went to push past her and out the door.

"Shelby Kimberly," Cassandra pulled out before she could. Shelby spun around with a glare. "Hey," Cass rushed towards her and wrapped her arms around Shelby's waist, which she knew would drive the woman crazy. "I love you."

Shelby tried to keep her hard ass composure, but melted into Cass's embrace anyways. She had that affect on her.

"Hmm? What was that?" Cass kissed her again. "I love you too, Cassie?"

Shelby laughed lightly. "I love you too, Cassie. Now, go teach."

With a smile, Cass walked away, humming a certain part of the song So Emotional that she knew Shelby would remember, "Ain't it shocking what love can do?"

With a shake of her head, Shelby left the school.


	4. Interrogation

**Chapter 4 up and running, Chapter 5 is nearly done.**

**We're having so much fun writing this story!**

**We hope you love it as much as we do.**

**Here's what you've been waiting for-Kurt's confrontation with Rach about Cassie. Sorry it's so short-we wanted the next part to have it's own chapter.**

**Love from, Defygravity09 and hayleynymphadora**

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Ch. 4 Interrogation

Rachel finished tidying up her room and walked out to the "living room" to grab her Barbra Streisand "Back to Brooklyn" CD. In passing, Kurt stared at her and she could feel his glance. After retrieving her CD, she slowly turned her gaze up and looked at him, quizzically.

"Take a picture," she joked. She realized it was something her mother would have said—she spent an awful lot of time around that woman.

Kurt continued to stare at her, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised, his hands on his hips cockily, a "mother knows best" expression plastered across his face.

"Can I help you?" Rachel tried again, pushing a lock of long brown hair behind her ear self consciously.

"Why yes, Rachel, I believe you can," he motioned for her to sit on the couch and she did so, slowly, hesitantly.

"With…Blaine?" she was utterly lost.

"No, with you. I don't need help with MY love life."

With a huge dramatic sigh, Rachel said, "Honestly, Kurt, I have no idea what you're getting at. What did I do THIS time? Seriously—between you and Shelby and Santana and Cassandra you'd think I'm a walking conspiracy…"

Finally, Kurt seemed unable to stay silent about whatever was so important he needed to tell her about it. It must have been pretty serious, because his eyebrows rose, along with his voice, (which rarely ever happened), as he exclaimed with disgust, "How can you fall for someone old enough to be your mother, Rachel?!"

Now Rachel was really lost, not remembering the whole "I know you love Cassandra" ordeal from the few nights ago. In all reality she had been trying her best to just completely block that entire night out of her memories—it was proving extremely hard to do.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked after a second of thought.

"Not to mention how rude July is to you—she's a bully, Rach."

Now she understood what this was all about, and she rolled her eyes and stood, feeling patronized and irritated.

"For the last time, Kurt, I'm NOT in love with Cassandra!"

"Well then who are you in love with, Rachel?!"

"I'm—", for a moment Rachel was speechless—caught off guard, as she walked towards the kitchen to get a much needed glass of water. If she was going to raise her voice then she was going to lubricate her throat—no need to damage her vocal chords over a conversation as pointless as one where he believed she was in love with Ms. July.

"I'm not in love with anybody," she said finally, her heart thumping harshly at the lie as she pulled a glass down from the cupboard. After a second thought, she got one down for Kurt as well and filled them both. "Anyways, I don't understand why you just assume I'm in love with Cassandra."

"You only talk about her all the time…"

"Because she's a bitch!" Rachel finally said what she had been wanting to about the woman for such a long time before she took a long drink of her cool water. "She ruins my life and so I talk about her!"

Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, studying her reactions carefully. She set down her glass slowly, unappreciative of his interrogation. This definitely was not fair. "Are you sure you're not just saying all of that because her bitchiness really turns you on? Do you like it when people treat you like shit, Rach?"

Rachel dropped her jaw, trying not to think about Cassandra July turning anybody on. Her thoughts quickly flicked from her mother and Cassandra back to the conversation as she shook her head and shivered. "Gross, Kurt! No! Cassandra does a lot of things, but turning me on is not one of them!"

"Then who does?!" He threw his hands up in what would usually be a gesture of defeat, however Rachel knew better. "Just stop lying to me! I told you about me and Blaine. Just be honest with me, Rachel."

After thinking about telling Kurt—she knew she had to sometime during the week eventually anyways—she thought better of letting all of her feelings out spur of the moment. She had a few more das to procrastinate it and procrastinate it she would.

"Brody call me again today," she admitted something else—shedding some light on another subject for the time being, even if it was one she'd rather not discuss.

"What?!" Kurt was taking a drink of water and practically choked on it as he set his glass down, leaning against the countertop and propping his head in his hand to listen to the story—all thoughts of Cassandra swept away due to a more important situation at hand.

"Yeah. Santana heard about it and threw my cell phone across the room. She's lucky I have a spare, but it's not a very good one. I'll have to order a new one now…"

"Shit…well what did Mr. Prostitute want?"

Rachel did her best to mimic his voice, ""I'm sorry, baby, I really am. The other girls didn't mean anything, I just needed the money…""

"That asshole. I'm so sorry, Rach."

"It's okay," Rachel sighed. "I'll live. He might not though—San got pretty defensive. You know, BEFORE she threw my phone." She added a bit bitterly.

"I'll bet. You know she does care, Rach. She doesn't want to see anything bad happening to you. She's not as mean as she was in high school. I think she really likes us now."

Rachel nodded slowly, unable to attempt the small smile rising to her lips. "Yeah, I think maybe she's slowly starting to come around…Oh, I'm supposed to meet up with mom for lunch…she has to finish talking to July first though, apparently they had to discuss something important…" as much as she wanted her mother to be happy, she still couldn't help but shutter at the thought of what "something important" was code for… July WAS her teacher…and Shelby WAS her mother…and them having any sort of history seemed odd. Different.

"Yes, now, back to this Cassandra thing, when are you going to tell her how you feel?" Kurt wondered, jokingly.

"Um, never, because my feelings for her are nonexistent. Now, my mother's feelings for her are another story completely…"

"Oh god, the two biggest drama queens on the planet besides the one in front of me are in love." Kurt laughed. "I should have known. But I will find out who this mystery person for you is eventually, you know that, right? You can't keep it from me."

Finishing up her water, Rachel laughed. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Yeah, like Cassandra helps you sleep at night?" he teased her. ""Ohh, Cassie!"" he exclaimed in his best Rachel Berry voice.

"Yes, because the only thing I ever dream about is Cassie July and how she makes me scream with excitement and swoon with delight. You know how I love it when people "treat me like shit". I'm just sooo turned on by it."

"I know you are, honey. Now, I need to go talk to my man, before I start to go through withdrawals. So while you go day dream about Crazy July, I am going to talk to my actual boyfriend."

""She's not crazy!"" Rachel mocked her mother's defensive lovey voice. ""She's misunderstood!""

"Whatever makes you feel better about the craziness that is the two of you together…"

Rachel and Kurt both recognized how ridiculous they were being about the whole situation, so for good measure, Rachel added as a final thought, "Crazy in LOOOOOVVVEEE."

Kurt let out a laugh. "Oh, god. Rachel Berry is in love. Alert the media!"

"Oh, yes," Rachel linked her arm with Kurt's as she spoke. "But call my mother first—you must tell her so she can beat me up when she finds out that her girlfriend helps me sleep at night…"

Shaking his head and laughing, Kurt smiled. "You are not right, Rachel."

Rachel gave a shrug, reaching for her Barbra CD, which she had set on the counter. "I was raised by the best—you and my mother!"

Kurt pulled his best friend into a tight hug. "Love you, Babs. I hope you can feel more open with me soon, but I won't push you anymore."

"I love you too, Kurt. And I'll tell you about it all soon, okay? I promise. Really soon."


	5. Reality Check and Misunderstanding

**A/N: DefyGravity09 here….hayleynymphadora is on vacation right now and took the story with her….she will be back sometime this week and we will have the next chapter up then. It will be a couple of days so hang in there. We promise not to keep you waiting too long. **

**Thanks again for the reviews/follows/and favorites. You guys keep us going. So thanks for the support! **

Ch 5 Reality Check and Misunderstanding

Cassandra sat in her office—Rachel's class was her last one until after her free period, so she decided to catch up on grading, already missing Shelby and wishing for some company from her. There was so much they needed to talk about still—this was still new to them, and precious. It seemed unreal—like revisiting a favorite dream, or stuck inside a daydream. She kept waiting for something bad to happen.

As if on cue, her office door was practically knocked down as one of Little Miss David Schwimmer's roommates (the one that was a girl, but she couldn't remember the kid's name) came barging in. No meeting, no reason, and obviously no respect.

Stomping her way to Cassie's desk, the Latina smacked her hands down forcefully on it before yelling, "How dare you, you bitch! Do you not know who the fuck you're messing with? I will go ALL Lima Heights on YOUR scrawny little ass, I don't care if Shelby's in love with you!" the young girl was enraged, and Cassandra raised an eyebrow, trying to think back and remember if she had ever actually formally met this person and what she could have possibly done to piss her off so much.

"Woah, hey, Schwimmer friend. Why don't you take a step back, tone your ass down a couple of notches? This is my territory." Cass spoke calmly, standing so she didn't have to look up at the girl.

Ignoring every word that came out of Cassandra's mouth, Santana continued, "How can you lead Rachel on while fucking her mom?!"

At this, Cassandra's heart skipped. She hadn't, in fact, BEEN fucking Shelby…not recently, anyways, so this comment made her extremely confused—more so than she was before. If the girl would've calmed herself down long enough to explain what the hell she was talking about, Cass might not have had an issue with her. She actually admired the defensive nature of her—it showed she really cared about whatever she was blaming Cassandra for.

Cassandra's eyes widened in shock. "I don't believe that my fucking anybody has to do with you at all, OR Schwimmer, for that matter. What the hell are you talking about? Leading her on?" she couldn't hold back the laugh that radiated through her chest, tilting her head back as she organized the graded papers on her desk and set them aside. Quite obviously she was too busy to tackle them now, and she really wasn't sure how long this little feud was going to last.

Santana shook her head, furious. "Rachel sure is enthralled with you. She was just talking with Kurt—she's ALL OVER you!"

That comment seemed to really get Cassie's attention and she choked back a laugh, snapping her head up to make eye contact with the girl in front of her. "WHAT?" she tried to hide her amusement but just couldn't. Schwimmer was a lot of things—one of them being the love of her life's daughter—but she knew for a fact that one of those things was NOT "in love with Cassandra July". Rachel hated her too much for that, Cassie knew. She loved pushing the girls' buttons and Rachel bit back, strengthening her dancing skills. Was this a love affair? Absolutely not. They could barely stand each other, let alone ever be in a relationship together.

"She says you being rude to her turns her on and that you help her sleep at night."

Still amused, Cassandra decided to just play along. "I help her sleep at night…well I could say that for her mother, perhaps…" her eyes sparkled with a sensual quality that, if Santana wasn't so angry, might have made Santana's stomach flip. "But Schwimmer? I've never once helped that poor girl sleep at night. If anything, I give her nightmares, and rightfully so. Now, if you're done, I have minds to corrupt…"

Cassandra headed towards her office door, but was denied exit by Santana, who blocked it with her small yet muscular frame. "No, we're not finished here. You leave Rachel alone, understand me? You love SHELBY. NOT Rachel, so stop leading her on because NO ONE is allowed to break that girl's heart again."

At this point, Cass was starting to get annoyed. Enough was enough, after all; she had played along to some extent and for a minute it was fun but now it was just ridiculous. "For the last damn time," she rolled her eyes and threw her head back with a groan. "I'm not leading anybody on! I'm trying to win her mother back! I still don't see how any of this has to do with YOU, so if you'd be so kind as to move your skinny little bark-and-no-bite Latina ass out of my way, before I do it for you—"

Shelby, who had decided to come back and see Cassandra during her free period, walked up to the doorway, a look of confusion on her face. She looked from Cass to Santana and her eyes widened in worry. "What's going on here?" she inquired.

Straightening a little, Cassie answered, "Babe! You can control this psychopath, right? Help me get her out of my face before I bitch slap her to Mexico."

"Cassie?" Shelby tried again. "Tell me what's going on?" she shot a glance of warning towards Santana, who backed off of Cassandra a couple of steps as Cass walked towards Shelby.

"I don't know, babe," she answered honestly. "But once you figure it out, would you like to fill me in? Apparently, your daughter is turned on by me. It was news to me…"

Understanding now, Shelby realized what must have happened—Santana obviously talked to Kurt, or heard him bombarding Rachel with those ridiculous accusations of loving Cassandra. "Yeah," she answered before turning to Santana. "Let's go for a walk," she placed her hand in the middle of Santana's back and led her out of the office.

"Corcoran?!" Cassandra's voice carried a tone of shock. "What the hell do you mean "yeah"?! Was I the ONLY person unaware of all of this?"

"No, baby, it's just that I know what's going on now," Shelby answered her, turning around to face her. "Calm down, I will talk to you about it tonight."

"….tonight?" did they have plans that night? Cassandra couldn't remember…did that make her a horrible person?

"Yes, when I come over. Now, go do something productive."

She was being very forward, Cassandra noticed, and she really liked it. However, there was a fault in Shelby's plan. "You can't just expect me to accept this girl prancing into my office like she's fucking queen of New York and bitch me out for something I don't understand! I'm not paid to put up with college drama; I'm paid to CREATE it."

Taking her hand off of Santana, Shelby walked over to Cassie and grabbed her by the waist, sending an electric bolt of lighting through Cassandra's body. It was a fantastic feeling.

"Calm down, baby," Shelby said in that smooth and sweet voice of hers that seemed to calm the most outrageous of storms and fits created by Crazy July. "Let me handle Santana."

Cassandra tried her best not to let her guard down in front of Schwimmer's roommate, but she couldn't help but to melt in Shelby's grasp.

"And then," Shelby leaned forward and whispered seductively, "I will handle you," she squeezed Cassie's waist before letting go and giving a soft wink. After which, she thought she saw Cassandra try to hide a swoon as she turned to the younger girl in the hallway. "Santana, we need to talk."

Cassandra's heart thumped wildly as she did in fact hold back a swoon before she said, "Okay, fine, handle Santana…"

Shelby and Santana continued to walk as Santana answered her, "About?"

"This whole Rachel thing,"

"Ugh. Please, spare me the gory details," she held her hand up in protest.

"No, you really need to hear this."

"I don't need to hear anything. Nothing you have to say could possibly be worth hearing—clearly she's not only gay, but in love with YOUR girlfriend. Tell me that doesn't piss you off."

"I wanted to let her tell you this, San…but obviously I need to tell you before you kill somebody out of jealousy…"

"Tell me what?" Santana scoffed. "That Cass is screwing both of you?"

Instead of just pointing out that Cass wasn't screwing either of them, Shelby said as calmly as she could, "Rachel isn't in love with Cassie."

"This is one really screwed up love triangle…" Santana mumbled bitterly.

"San, she's in love with YOU."

This got Santana to crack a smile. "Hahaha. Why do I talk to you again?" she continued to laugh until she caught Shelby's serious expression. At this, her jaw dropped. "Wait, no shit?" she stopped dead in her tracks and Shelby stopped with her.

"No, I'm serious. That's why she was being so weird the other night when you were reading our chat…"

Santana got defensive again—she just couldn't believe something this great could actually happen. "Not because she was apologizing for letting Cassie help her sleep at night?"

Shelby's cheeks flushed. With all this talk of Cassandra helping someone sleep at night, she was starting to want that to happen to her.

"No! I don't know what you heard today, but I do know that Rachel definitely wants you, not Cassie. But she thinks you hate her."

"What I heard," Santana says snappishly, "Is that she moans "Oh, Cassie" in her sleep, after Cassie "helps her" sleep of course, whatever the fuck that's code for, and that she's super turned on by Cassie's bitchiness in dance class. So I called Cassandra out on her bullshit and said bitchiness, and was having a damn blast before you spoiled all of my fun."

Shelby blushed, knowing fully well that she had moaned "Oh Cassie" in her sleep quite a few times. "No, honey," she grabbed Santana's hand so she couldn't run away from this conversation. Often, when Santana grew uncomfortable, she did like Rachel and just stormed out. Why did Shelby surround herself with such dramatic people? Took one to know one, she supposed… "Rachel has no feelings for Cassie. You have to believe me. She was supposed to tell you how she felt about you by this upcoming Sunday, but I had to tell you sooner."

Santana reverted back, snapping a, "Why should I believe you when you didn't tell me whatever the hell this really is to begin with?! You talked to me about Dani KNOWING that Rachel liked me?! How do I know you're not just screwing with my head now?"

'I didn't want to screw everything up with Rachel by going behind her back to tell you…but once again, Shelby has to be the bad guy…"

"Don't make this about you."

"I'm not. You fucking asked. Now I see that I'm going to have to bring out Mama Bear."

"All I'm saying is that if the girl loves me so much, she should've just said so and I would be giving her sweet lady kisses by now." Santana crossed her arms over her chest. Her head hurt and she was actually regretting coming to NYADA to bitch out Cassie after all. At first it had felt good, but now that Shelby wanted to get into this whole discussion about feelings, here in the middle of the hallway of NYADA—the school that RACHEL ATTENDED, she wasn't so sure of her judgment.

"She's scared, San, why don't you understand that?"

"Of what? Of Cassie finding out about her new crush?"

"Don't you remember," Shelby said, exasperated. "What it was like when you were outed?"

Santana clearly did not see that coming. She stood, speechless.

"Because I do. You beat up Finn Hudson and you hated everyone for weeks. Your grandmother disowned you. This is the first time Rachel realized she might not be straight, and she is terrified now WHAT about that is unclear to you?" Shelby raised her eyebrows.

After a moment of silence on Santana's end, San finally said, "Well she has no reason to be, it's not like she hasn't known me forever, and it isn't as if she doesn't live in a house full of gays!"

"Look," Shelby sighed hugely, wishing for the day to be over. She'd rather be anywhere than here, having this conversation that she promised her daughter she wouldn't have. She tried to tell herself that this was for the best—better for everyone in the long run—before Santana went to Rachel about Cassie and they had an even bigger problem on their hands. Shelby knew she needed to settle things down and if this was the only way to do it… "I didn't want to have to out my own daughter. But I need you to get it into your thick head that she wants you, not Cass. Do I need to show you the damn chats?"

Santana rolled her eyes and stared at the ground. "I can't deal with this right now. I'm supposed to meet Dani in an hour…"

"Go ahead," Shelby accused. "Walk away from this like you do everything else. But you'd better lay the fuck off of Cassie."

That caught Santana's attention, but instead of just making her turn around and go back to the matter at hand, it had a surprise affect that Shelby did not expect or appreciate in the least.

"Why? Your whore of a girlfriend just too innocent to place any blame on?"

With a low growl of irritation coming from deep within Shelby's chest, she responded, "I am not about to deal with your ghetto ass right now. You know I'll take a lot of shit from you, Santana Marie, but I will be respected and you will respect the people I love. Or have you forgotten I know your secrets too? You know," she glared. "The one where you're in love with Rachel, too?"

Hissing her response, Santana insisted, "I am NOT in love with Rachel. I have a girlfriend, and I need to meet with her before I'm late. Don't forget I know some of your secrets, too. Miss "I don't know how to sleep with Cassie, Santana, it's just been too long. Tell me what do to, San! I'm so nervous!""

Shocked, Shelby was at her last straw. "I am so fucking done with you, Santana. Just remember who was there for you when you needed someone. Go screw Dani, Ms "I only ever do one night stands". What's Dani's last name? You may be with her for longer than anyone else but it's just a series of one night stands….you're just fuck buddies that don't mean anything. No one you will be with will mean anything to you, Santana. You don't know how to love someone." And with that she stormed off, doing what she taught her daughter best to do in such a situation.

Santana did what she knew would stop Shelby dead in her tracks. "THAT'S RIGHT, RUN OFF TO YOUR WHORE, GOD ONLY KNOWS SHE'S WAITING FOR YOU IN HER OFFICE, BITING BACK THAT SWOON, LEADING ON INNOCENT YOUNG STUDENTS…"

With the speed of lightning and before Santana knew what was coming, Shelby smacked her with such force that Santana had to take a step back so she wouldn't fall over. "Shut the fuck up, Santana. I am SO done with you. You are nothing but a damn disappointment, you haven't changed and you never will. I don't know what I was thinking. We will never be friends."

Santana did the only thing in her power left to do—smacked Shelby back equally as hard. "You think I'm not USED to playing this game? You think I didn't get PLENTY of practice with this in high school?"

Shelby's heart hurt as she spoke to Santana. She had truly been hoping she could help her—been really wanting a friendship with her. In reality, she had been changing for the better—her life was starting to get back on track and now all of Santana's hard work was slowly dissolving as well as their friendship with just one conversation, and all over a misunderstanding.

"I wanted to be there for you, but damn if you don't make it hard for someone to care about you. I don't know how Rachel's managed to do it."

"I didn't ASK you to care about me. I asked you to keep a damn secret and control your own fucking slutty girlfriend."

Not wanting to hurt anymore, not wanting to slap or fight anymore, Shelby just stared back at the young girl standing in front of her and wondered how things could have gotten so bad so quickly—so easily. She fought off tears, for the whole ordeal was tearing her apart inside. She really did care for Santana and she hated that she was getting hut. She worried about how Rachel would have to live with the aftermath of all of this—the poor young girl wouldn't know what hit her and it was all her mother's fault. The mother that was never really there for her to begin with was still unintentionally ruining her life.

Santana just glared back. "Go then! Go run to Cassie! But can she tell you honestly where she was last night?" the lie formed in Santana's head before she could stop it—and she was so angry that she felt it had to be done. If she couldn't break Shelby with her words earlier, this definitely would. Maybe then she would just leave Santana alone.

Taken aback, Shelby just whispered, "What?"

Santana smirked, knowing that she already had the older brunette, hook line and sinker. "Can your girlfriend tell you where she was last night?" she pronounced her words slowly, more carefully, in a mocking sort of tone.

Getting quieter as she realized that she had no idea what Cassie was up to the night before, Shelby's heart sank low. It hadn't occurred to her that Santana could've been lying—she was just too caught up in the moment. "Why don't you tell me?" she said finally.

"Oh, you mean you don't already know?" Santana taunted.

Shelby's voice sounded defeated—she felt tiny. "No, Santana, I don't."

"Oh, I see. So you really don't have control over your girlfriend—you aren't aware that your girlfriend had drinks at a bar with her girlfriend's daughter's roommate because she had a rough day of arguing with said girlfriend and her daughter?"

It took Shelby a moment to comprehend what Santana actually said before she sank against the wall, sliding down until she was sitting on the floor. "What?" she held her heart as her head started to swim and hurt and throb. Sure, it had only been a couple of days since Cassandra had promised sobriety, but that was a couple of days that Shelby had foolishly believed she had stayed sober for.

"Sorry," Santana seemed genuinely sorry. "Guess you really DON'T know her at all." She paused before continuing, "I really am sorry for you, Shelby. I'm sorry that you fell in love with the wrong person—god only knows how suckish that is. I've been there."

"Why?! You know that I'm try—you know what? Never mind. I am done." She reminded herself.

"Done with what? Because you keep saying that, and yet you're still here."

Shelby stood, wiping the one tear that escaped her eye harshly and putting on her best bitch face.

"Gonna go bitch out your girlfriend?"

Shelby walked out of the building without saying a word more to Santana.

"CAN I AT LEAST WATCH?!" Santana yelled after her before throwing her arms up in defeat.

As Shelby heatedly walked, she whipped out her cell phone and called Cassandra.

Cass picked up her phone on the first ring, as she was stretching in her studio waiting for Shelby to return. "Hey, babe, you want to finally tell me what all of this is—"

"Get the fuck out of my life. I am done with these fucking games, Cassandra, SO fucking done."

Cassandra was scared, for the first time in a long time. She didn't think she had ever heard Shelby say such a long strand of f words in a row. Done? Done with what? With them?! How the hell could she be done?! What was she talking about?!

"Woah, hey, slow down. What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"Drinks with Santana late at night? What happened to getting better? Your fucking booze will always mean more! She said that you were at the bar with your girlfriend's daughter's roommate drinking last night."

Cassandra was so confused that her head was spinning—it didn't help that she had already HAD a headache from her LACK of alcohol in the past three days. "Drinks with Santana? You mean Schwimmer's roommate bitch who attacked me earlier? I didn't even know she existed until she came barging into my office like she owned the place! Babe, I swear on my life I was in the studio ALL NIGHT last night. The little bitch is a liar."

"Your promises mean nothing to me anymore, unless you can prove it!" Shelby's voice broke.

Tears started to form in Cassie's eyes—something NOT easily done and only ever done by Shelby—she answered with a broken voice, "Please, come see me. We need to talk face to face, Shelby…"

"Fine! I'm turning around…" Shelby did so and headed back for the college, heatedly. She made it into the studio, hanging up her phone and glaring at Cassandra.

Cassie saw her and tried to enfold her in her arms. "Babe, thank god. Come here…"

Shelby pulled away so forcefully that Cassie's heart dropped. "No."

Cass blinked back a few tears. "Shelby, I wasn't drinking last night, I swear to god and everybody, I've been sober since I told you I'd go to the damn AA meetings! I've wanted to drink so bad but I didn't, I wasn't, I haven't!"

Shelby straightened her back, "I've told you once, prove it!"

Desperately, Cassandra whispered, 'How?!"

"You'd better figure something out," Shelby threatened. She was done with Cassandra's games. If alcohol was more important than there relationship, even after all this time, what good was it to be in love?

"Shelby, baby, please," Cassandra's voice cracked. "You're going to believe HER over me? She doesn't have her facts straight! She thinks I'm fucking your daughter!"

Shelby started to pace the room, holding her head and feeling nauseous. "I don't know what to believe. This is all just—too much!"

"Believe ME. I love you, and you love me, isn't that what we tell each other?" tears started to pour down her face which was most unusual—Cassandra July simply did not cry—so Shelby knew that things were seriously wrong, however she couldn't get her brain to comprehend everything at once and it felt like it was going to explode—the pressure building and making her want to scream.

She grabbed her head. "I just-UGH—I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!"

"Please, Shelby," Cassandra's tone grew soft and begging. "You DO know. I don't lie to you—ever. When have I ever lied to you? Just take a deep breath, calm yourself down with your yoga breathing, and settle. Think."

"WHY WON'T IT STOP HURTING?!" she fell to her knees on the floor and held her head in her hands, rocking slowly.

"Hey, take a long slow breath Shelby. You need to calm down, you're going to get hurt…please, just breathe." She tried to take Shelby's hand. "Slow breaths, babe, it's okay."

Shelby's breaths turned short and staggered as she managed to explain that she couldn't breathe.

Frantically, and unsure what else to do, Cassie turned her head and screamed, "SOMEBODY HELP, MY GIRLFRIEND'S IN TROUBLE!"

Santana, who was watching all of this unfold from outside the door, came running into the studio and ten people automatically followed her, along with Rachel, who heard Cassie's yell from down the hall.

"Oh my god, mom, are you okay?!" Rachel ran past everybody else and towards her mother, worried.

Shelby, recognizing a panic attack and still trying to breath, reached out for Rachel. Cassie searched for her cell and couldn't find it on her person. She yelled to Santana. "DON'T JUST STAND THERE, CALL 911!"

"Rach—" Shelby tried to talk. "I—can't—do—this—anymore…"

"Mom? Don't try to speak you need to save your breath…"

"BREATHE, damn it, Corcoran, I CAN'T lose you. YOU CAN'T GIVE UP ON ME," Cassandra was panicking, stepping in front of Shelby and encasing her in her arms, trying to relax her and get her to inhale slowly.

Santana finally spoke, after dialing 911. "What the hell just happened?"

"WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?" Cassandra bellowed at her, angrily. "Are you good for nothing?"

"911 was already called, bitch."

"Call me a bitch one more fucking time little girl, I dare you!"

Rachel had had about enough of this, and she knew that none of it was helping Shelby. "BOTH of you need to just SHUT UP." She yelled. "Neither of you are helping!"

"STOP!" Shelby commanded before passing out, unable to function.

Cass stroked the woman's face, slowly. "Shelby! Jesus Christ, please, Shelby…"

"Great! What the hell is going on?!" Santana questioned from the sidelines.

"If you're just going to comment then get the hell away from me before I put YOU in the hospital."

Rachel rolled her eyes at Cassandra's theatrics and explained to Santana, "She's having a panic attack."

As the paramedics arrived, Shelby came to. Cass grabbed her hand tightly. "Babe, oh my god, please stay with me…"

Shelby's eyes flicked as she whispered, "Cassie? Rach?"

"I'm right here, mama," Rachel promised from next to her.

"I need them gone," Shelby said.

Cassie couldn't take it anymore. The tears she had been successfully keeping back were starting to burn at the back of her eyes like a wildfire. "Babe, Shelby, please…"

Rachel took control of Cass for the first time in her life, and she had to admit to herself that she loved the authoritarian role. "Cassandra, she doesn't want you right now, you have to go."

Santana began to walk out upon the first command. Shelby squeezed Cassandra's hand, managing a, "I—am—sorry. I—just—can't—do—this—right—now…"

"Don't be sorry, love. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not trustworthy enough for you but I swear I can change. I promise I'm trying, Shelby, I'm getting help, I'll be going to the meetings…"

"Shh," Shelby smiled lightly. "I—know. Just—go—for—a—bit. I—love—you."

"O—kay… I love you too…"

Once everyone besides Rachel had left the room, Shelby could finally begin to calm down. Rachel held her hand, and coached her through her yoga breathing.

"That's right, mama. Just take a few calm, relaxing breaths…"

In a few minutes, Shelby's breathing became normal again.

"There…better?" Rachel asked kindly, scooting up next to her mother.

"Yes, baby girl. I'm so sorry." All of her fears of ruining Rachel's life came flooding back to her in an instant, but Rachel remained confused.

"Don't be sorry…what do you have to be sorry for? Panic attacks can't be controlled…"

"Everything. I…I told Santana."

Rachel stiffened and backed up, dropping her mother's hand. "You…you told her?! How could you?!"

"Please, Rachel, I didn't know what else to do," Shelby tried to explain, remembering to keep her breathing under control so she didn't have another attack. "San came in here ready to kick Cassie's ass because you wanted to sleep with Cassie—something about her helping you sleep at night. Everything was just one like one big high school rumor—everything got out of control."

"Because I what?!" then realization struck Rachel like a brick and she gathered that Santana must have heard her and Kurt joking about Cassandra earlier.

"I was just trying to calm her down and prove to her that it wasn't Cassie you loved…"

"So she heard me and Kurt? But we were just kidding!...and you thought that telling her I was in love with her would calm her down?!" Rachel couldn't help but be unable to find the logic in that.

"We got into a fight and she told me that she and Cass were out drinking last night. I just didn't know what to believe, I got confused, Rach, and I didn't know what else to do. Santana was out of control."

After a moment's contemplation, Rachel sighed. "It's okay, mama. It'll all be okay. We'll work all of this out, it's just a big miscommunication."

Shelby buried her face in her hands. "There's no way to work this out if Cassie can't prove she wasn't at the bar with Santana…"

Rachel's eyes widened in confusion before she realized that after all of this, Shelby was still taking what Santana said into consideration. "What are you talking about? Santana was home all night last night!"

Shelby shot her head up, gaining an instant head rush which she ignored. "What?! No…Santana said that…"

"Mom, she was home all night talking to Kurt his anniversary with Blaine!"

"Shit."

"Mama…San lied to you."

With a sob, just wishing for this day to finally be over and wishing to go crawling back into Cassandra's arms and beg for forgiveness, if Cassie was even still willing, she put her head into her lap. "I'm so stupid, Rachel…"

"You're not stupid," Rachel tried to soothe her. "You're just confused."

Angrily, Shelby spat, "Why would Santana do something like that? I thought we were friends—we were close!...I really need Cassie…"

"Mom, take another breath. A deep breath."

Shelby did as she was told, "I have to go apologize…"

"Okay, I agree. But first you need to calm down. I'm sorry about Santana…I don't know why she did what she did. I think maybe she just felt ganged up on…she, like you, didn't know what else to do."

Shelby nodded her head, "I'm sorry, Rach."

"Just do your yoga breathing…"

"So sorry…"

"It's okay, okay? It was going to come out eventually…"

Shelby finally calms down enough and whispers, reminding Rachel of an anxious little girl, "Can I talk to Cassie now?"

Rachel laughed softly. "Yes," she smiled.

"Thank you baby girl. I love you, Rach."

"Of course. I love you too." Rachel left the room to get Cassandra, finding her and Santana waiting outside the door. Cass sped over towards Shelby, who was leaning against the back window—the sunset gleaming down on her gorgeous face, casting shadows throughout the otherwise darkened studio. "Shelby?" Cass wiped a final (she hoped it would be her final, for she really did hate crying) tear as Shelby reached out for her.

"Cass, I am so sorry, baby."

"Honey?" she wiped another tear. "Damn tears…" she muttered. "It's okay…so you believe me?"

As a few tears of her own fell, Shelby reached her hand up and dried up one of Cassie's. "Yes. Rachel said Santana was at home all night…"

"Thank god for your daughter…"

Shelby laughed lightly, "Amen to that."

Unable to hold it in any longer, Cassandra moved her body between Shelby's legs (which Shelby wrapped around Cass) and kissed her lips softly. "I am trying, babe."

"I know, I know," Shelby kissed Cassandra once, twice. "I should have believed you—I see everything you're doing. I was just so confused…"

"It's okay. Things are okay now. Things will be better," she pulled her mouth away from Shelby's so the brunette could respond.

"I love you so much."

"Oh, babe. I love you too. So fucking much…"

Shelby smiled a little smile and Cass smiled back with a soft wink before changing her position so that she was sitting up against the wall next to Shelby. Shelby leaned on Cass, putting her head in the blonde's lap and remembering in a time of concern, that Cassandra had called her "her girlfriend". Sure, she was used to Santana's mocking about it, but they had never said it exclusively and she wasn't sure if Cassandra had really mean it or if it was moot point—they already loved each other, so she felt that the "girlfriends, officially" stage had been passed over years ago. Cassandra stroked Shelby's beautifully long brown hair, running it through her hands with ease. They were content until they both looked up, hearing a voice come from the doorway.

"Shelby? Oh my god, thank everyone you're okay…"

"Santana."

"I am really sorry. I didn't think that would cause all of—" she moved her hands, gesturing to them both, "this," she finished lamely.

"Stop," Shelby said sternly. "Just stop."

"…but—"

"You took things too far. I have been nothing but kind to you, then you lied about Cassie, knowing that her drinking is a sensitive subject…"

"I'm sorry, really. I thought that Cassandra was screwing Rachel and she pissed me off and I didn't know what else to do…"

"I TOLD YOU that she wasn't. I've never lied to you, what would possibly give me reason to in this situation? I even offered to show you the chat, San." Shelby was condescending now and Cassandra remained quiet, simply continuing to play with Shelby's hair, which Shelby was grateful for.

"You can't blame me for what Snixx does," Santana played a final card.

Shelby rolled her eyes. "I don't want to hear about Snixx."

"She got jealous and irrational—"

"Whatever. I'm just so hurt by you, Santana. I looked at you as one of my own,"

"Shelby…" Santana felt an unusual emotion inside of her—her heart actually hurt. She had felt like one of Shelby's own, too. It had felt so good to be a part of a real family and she had just ruined it all with one freak out and a little lie. "I…I am like one of your own!"

Cassie felt that at this point it was time for her to intervene. "You called me an alcoholic whore!"

"I thought you were!" Santana defended herself.

Shelby cut in, "One of my own wouldn't have talked to me the way that you did. They would have listened to me."

"Because Rachel did?"

"Don't start with me, Santana." She took a moment to think before sighing hugely. What point was there in dwelling on the past? The worst of it was over and done, and everyone was somewhat content with things now. "I will forgive you on one condition."

Shelby raised an eyebrow. "…what condition?"

"Apologize to Cassie."

Santana glared over at Cassie and then sighed. "I'm sorry I thought you were fucking the Hobbit."

Cassandra looked at her, amused but confused. "The Hobbit?"

"SANTANA." Shelby scolded.

Santana corrected herself. "RACHEL. I'm sorry I thought you were getting it on with Rachel!"

"Better," Shelby commented.

After a moments' pause, Santana asked quietly. "…are we okay, C?"

"One more condition," Shelby stood from Cassie's lap to which Cassie pouted.

"Okay…?" Santana agreed.

Shelby gave her a smile, holding out her arms to the girl. "Come here and give me a hug."

With an eye roll and a grin, Santana obliged. "Of all the things…"

Shelby squeezed her tight. "I do love you, Santana Marie."

Santana sighed. "I love you too, Shelby."

"Take me home, Cass," Shelby said softly, yawning hugely. The paramedics were long gone—they had told her she would be okay as long as they got her to relax, which they clearly had.

Cassandra stood, taking Shelby by the waist and into her arms. "Of course, babe."

Once they got to Shelby's apartment, Shelby laid back on the couch. Cassandra hung up the phone with Carmen, explaining there was a family emergency and she would need Brody to teach the rest of her day's classes.

"Come sit with me, baby," Shelby said from the living room. Cass smiled that smug smile and made her way towards Shelby.

"No funny business, July." Shelby said jokingly. "I just want you close."

Cass rolled her eyes teasingly. "Funny business? From me? Why I never…"

Playfully, Shelby slapped Cassie on the arm. "Oh, shut up."

Cass snuggled into Shelby's warmth, appreciating what she hadn't had in so very long. What she missed tremendously. "But you loooovvvee meeee."

"Of course I do,"

Cass kissed Shelby's temple tenderly, lingering for longer than necessary. "I love you too."

Pulling her closer, Shelby drifted off to sleep in Cassandra's arms, and eventually, after playing with the brunette's hair for a little while, fell asleep as well.


	6. Learning Process

Shelby woke the next morning, still encased in Cassie's arms. She smiled, remembering the promise of change that her lover had made to her and hoping, for both of their hearts' sake that Cassie could keep it this time. She _had_ made it four days so far. Shelby definitely called that improvement, especially from Cassandra, if nothing else. Cassie was really trying this time—she had never made this much of an effort before, she had always given up on herself before she could try.

Shelby had to admit to herself how badly she truly missed Cassie's soft touch—the feel of her protective arms, like she would let absolutely no harm befall the one she loves. Shelby believed that—Cassandra July had a lot of attributes, and one of her strongest was her protective nature over the people she loved—as if letting go would mean death. She supposed, in Cassandra's case, it might have. She missed the feel of Cassie's blonde hair, soft and silky and luscious. She missed Cassie's sweet seductive scent—she didn't even have to be wearing that sexy perfume Shelby had always loved—she smelled amazing enough without it. Her natural, beautiful scent.

Placing a hand over Cassie's, (Cass was still fast asleep), and after placing a soft kiss on her knuckles, Shelby placed another on her wrist, and then the crook of her arm, before turning around and gently kissing the woman's nose.

Confused, Cass's eyes fluttered open before Shelby shook her head slowly and lifted her lips to Cassie's eyelids. "Go back to sleep," she smiled against Cass's face before kissing each lid tenderly.

"Mmm…" Cassandra murmured in reply, obliging to Shelby's request and wrapping her grip around Shelby's waist a little tighter.

Before she could re-explore other lost parts of Cassandra, Rachel came walking through the door of the apartment. Shelby turned her head to look at Rach and Rach smiled sheepishly, "Hi…" she shut the door behind her.

Cassie shifted in Shelby's arms but was otherwise unaffected by the sound.

"Hey, Rach," Shelby said.

"Mama…Can I spend some time with you for a while today? I had to get out of that apartment…"

_Uh oh…_ Shelby thought to herself. Aloud, she simply responded, "Sure, honey."

"I just—"Rachel paused and smiled softly at Cassie's position before continuing what she was saying. Shelby's face flushed lightly—her daughter seeing her with her college professor probably wasn't the most casual thing in the world. It would be something to get used to. "Things are sort of tense over there," Rach said. "No one will talk to one another."

Slowly, Shelby pulled herself out of Cassandra's grip, scaring the blonde. With careful hands, Shelby wrapped Cassandra's protective arms around her and placed a blanket on top of her, kissing her head. "Everything's fine, baby. Just relax," she reassured her. She knew well enough about Cassandra's panic attacks—some could be worse than Shelby's got. Most were about abandonment, and for a good reason. Cassandra's dark past was what made her so insecure, and Shelby accepted that, learned to handle it, and took care of her love so that she wasn't always so cautious. She had never managed to get Cassandra to take her wall down for anyone but Shelby—yet. It was always a constant work in progress.

"Come on, baby girl," Shelby said, once Cass was comfortable again. "Let's go to the kitchen. Want some tea?"

Rachel nodded and followed her mother. "Yes, please."

As Shelby made the two cups of tea, she thought about what Rachel had just said, "Things are sort of tense over there…" with a guilty conscience. She knew it was all her fault that things were tense. Had she just left Rachel alone about Santana, Kurt wouldn't have gotten involved, then Cassie wouldn't have gotten involved, and things wouldn't have been blown so far out of proportion.

"I am still so sorry I did that to you, baby girl," Shelby said, setting the tea down in front of her and Rach as they sat down at the table.

Rachel put a piece of her hair behind her ears and responded, "It's okay, mama. I don't blame you for what's going on…"

Shelby sighed, because Rachel had just made her feel worse. She completely deserved it. "I know, but still…" was all she could manage to say.

"Well," Rach took a sip of her tea. "We'll be fine, really, once Santana apologizes to Kurt for listening in on our conversation and Kurt apologizes for mocking me about Miss July."

Shelby couldn't help but be amused that Rachel, after everything that had been happening, still felt the need to call Cassie "Miss July".

"Yeah, good luck with that," she said about either one of them apologizing—Kurt might, just to ease the tension, but the day Santana apologized for eavesdropping would probably be the day that hell froze over.

"I know, I know," Rachel agreed somewhat sadly and with a sigh. "But a girl can dream…"

"I know that's right," Shelby drank down some of her tea and listened as Rachel laughed lightly.

"How's Miss July doing? With the rehab and staying sober and stuff…?"

At the sound of Cassie's title, Shelby felt the urge to glance into the living room at the woman. She was still asleep, if not fitfully so. Immediately, Shelby felt guilty for leaving her alone. "She's doing really well," she informed her daughter and watched as Cassie turned. She was tempted to get up and help her relax again. "She's four days sober, and hasn't gone to any meetings yet, but soon…I am so proud of her."

Cass turned again and moaned, clutching her hands to her chest before falling back asleep. Shelby knew it was part of quitting cold turkey, going through withdrawals. Cassandra was obviously starting to do so. Another guilty pang went through Shelby's gut like a knife, but she tried her best to ignore it. Cassandra needed to quit—she had to get better—and things would get worse before they got better. Shelby had to be strong for Cassandra, in the times where Cass couldn't do it herself.

"That's great mom," Rachel brought Shelby out of her thoughts. "See what happens when you try? I'm glad things are working out for you guys again, even if she IS my teacher and it's sort of weird…"

Shelby managed a half laugh. "I'm happy too, Rach. So happy."

After a moments pause, Shelby took another sip of tea, as did Rachel, before Rachel piped up,

"San won't talk to me…"

Shelby gave her daughter an apologetic glance. It was her fault after all, that she girl wouldn't speak to her daughter. "She will come around," she reassured the young brunette.

Rachel shrugged, unsure. "Mostly she's just been avoiding both of us and staying in her room."

"Well have you tried talking to her?"

"I have," Rachel sounded exasperated. "All the time. She just gets mad and walks away…"

"Hmm," Shelby drank her tea in contemplation. "Make her sit down and listen to you."

"How do I do that?"

"Why don't you sing her a song? Isn't that how you guys expressed emotions in Glee Club? Hell, baby girl, she's probably expecting it…she pretends she hates it when you and Kurt break into song, but I know she loves it."

Rachel pressed her lips together thoughtfully, "…I guess I didn't think about that. But what could I POSSIBLY sing to Santana?"

"I don't have all of the answers, Rach. Look inside and ask yourself what you're feeling and the song will come on it's own."

Rachel laughed at the thought of her mother not having all the answers—Shelby always seemed to know what to do. "Okay…"

Before they could discuss anything else, a pain-filled moan escaped Cassie from the living room. She sat up on the couch, holding her head in her hands.

"She's awake for good now," Shelby said, standing and pouring her a cup of tea. "Let's go give her this…trust me, she'll need it…" It had been so long since Shelby had been in the presence of a sober Cassandra and she was worried about how the dancer would react to the feeling. She knew it wouldn't be pleasant for a while…until she grew used to being without alcohol. It was going to be a long process.

Shelby made her way towards her girlfriend (if everyone else was going to call Cassandra that, she decided she might as well give in to the title). Cass slowly opened her eyes to see Rachel and Shelby. She glanced down at her outfit of a tank top and yoga pants, trying to collect her thoughts. She ran her hands distractedly through her long, tangled blonde hair. Shelby sat down next to her, carefully handing her the tea after placing a kiss to her temple.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

Whimpering at the sound of anything, her head throbbing, Cassie managed to say, almost weakly, "Beauty?" and slowly sip on her hot tea. It burned her mouth and throat going down but she closed her eyes, enduring it, pretending the burn was whiskey. It was definitely better than nothing.

"You are always beautiful to me," Shelby smiled sheepishly, not wanting to get too mushy in front of Rachel but recognizing a lost cause as Cassandra answered back,

"You're not too bad looking yourself, sexy," she smiled knowingly, trying to get her head to stop spinning to no prevail, suddenly somehow just realizing that Shelby's daughter was in fact sitting right there. She vowed not to say anything that she would regret saying in front of Schwimmer.

Realizing how badly Cassandra's head must have been hurting her, Shelby stood and walked to her medicine cabinet in the bathroom, coming back a few minutes later with some aspirin. "Here, baby, take this."

"Oh my god," Cassandra looked as if Shelby had just saved her from drowning. "I knew I loved you…" she downed it immediately before finally acknowledging Rachel's presence in the room. "Morning, Schwimmer."

Timidly, still trying to figure her teacher's motives out, and still very aware of Cassandra's constant attitude towards her, Rachel answered, "Good morning, Miss July."

Rachel's fear somehow fueled Cassandra's courage. She had control again and god did it feel good…especially after not having any control whatsoever to what's happening with her body. "You been practicing that tango or am I going to have to whip you into shape tomorrow?"

"I've—I've been practicing," Rachel promised.

"Excellent," Cass took another drink of tea and leaned back on the couch, up against Shelby. "Means I won't have to waste my breath shouting…" she couldn't imagine what torture it would be, trying to lead all of her classes the next day. Especially if she felt as shitty the next day as she did right now.

"Right," Rachel finally got the courage to roll her eyes, knowing that her mother was right there and that Cassandra wouldn't just outright bully her. Not in front of Shelby.

Cass shook her head at Rachel, who was so much like Shelby. The strong headed nature, the "I don't care what you think of me" attitude. She was really starting to look to Rachel as a protégé. "You roll your eyes at me now, Ohio…" she took another sip of tea, nursing her headache. "But you'll thank me one day when you can dance circles around all of the other pathetic wannabes in my class. I single you out because I know you can take it."

It was the first time she had ever explained her teaching style to anybody, and it felt too personal. Immediately, she wanted to take back what she said, but she knew it was too late. Rachel snapped back right away, getting defensive.

"Well sometimes you're a little too much."

Cass scoffed, hurting her head when she did so. "Please, Ohio. You haven't seen me at my worst, Schwimmer, and if you can't handle me at my worst you sure as hell don't deserve me as a teacher at my best. Broadway's harder than you think, kid." _I would know…_

Pondering whatever the hell Cassandra meant by THAT statement, Rachel simply responded, "Ummm…okay. Anyway, mom, thanks for letting me come over. I need to head home…to figure some things out."

"Of course, honey, you're always welcome. Remember what I told you…and you know, just because Cassie's awake doesn't mean you have to leave…she'll behave, I'll be sure of it." Shelby smiled at her daughter and then glanced at her girlfriend, who raised an eyebrow in protest.

"Behave? I'm afraid I don't know the meaning of that word," Cass teased. Rachel laughed for the first time ever at her professor, before informing her mom,

"I know I just need to go deal with this. No time like the present…"

"Okay, well, if you're sure…I'm always here for you, baby girl. Good luck."

Rachel left and Shelby laid her head on Cassie's shoulder. "Sorry, baby. I wasn't expecting her…"

Cassie shrugged softly. "It's fine, babe. I'm just not used to seeing my students outside of class," she sounded like it wasn't fine, and Shelby knew better. Cass was vulnerable, she was sober, and she just had to have a talk with the student she pushed the hardest. It was a lot of emotions to deal with at once, and Shelby knew how much Cass despised emotions.

"I know," Shelby admitted. "This is going to be difficult."

"It's definitely going to take some getting used to…especially if she hangs out with that Santana girl all the time…I mean I know they're roommates, but if all she's going to do is blame me for Schwimmer loving me or whatever…"

"Oh, that," Shelby realized that Cassandra still didn't have a clue what had gone down the day before. She applauded her, really, for lasting so long without information—it wasn't often that Cassie just went along with things. Shelby felt lucky that she did so just for her.

Cassandra, however, had apparently caught on, somewhat, as she said, "Yeah, Schwimmer's roommate is obviously all over her."

Deciding that there probably wouldn't be a better time for explanation, Shelby said, "Yes, and the feeling is mutual, except neither wants to admit it to the other one. Rach isn't crushing on you…Kurt thought that she was, and San was eavesdropping and over heard their conversation."

Slowly nodding her head but deciding against it once she realized how dizzy it made her, Cass responded, "Ahh. Now things are starting to make sense…and thank god she isn't because I would have had to have a serious talk with that girl, and THAT is something that neither of us wants to do…"

"Right," Shelby agreed, cuddling closer to Cassandra. "I'm sorry you're in so much pain, baby," she whispered.

Cassandra pretended it was no big deal, even though she felt like if there was any more pressure in her head, it was going to explode. "It's okay, Shelbs. Worth it for you," and it was the truth. But she didn't want to talk about that. She needed another distraction, so she continued their conversation. "So I'm guessing Kurt is the other roommate?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Shelby had forgotten how much Cass didn't know about her life.

"It's okay, Corcoran, I'm catching up," Cass gave her that knowing smirk that Shelby had always found incredibly sexy. Shelby bit her lip to keep from acting upon her emotions at the look and Cass kept talking, distracting herself from the pain she was in.

"What the hell happened to Weston? Wasn't Schwimmer all over that?"

"Ha," Shelby scoffed sarcastically. "You don't know what your own students are up to?"

"Oh? Do I sense trouble? Like I told you before—I don't get paid to be apart of all that drama, I'm just paid to create it. Do I get in on it sometimes? Hell yes. Especially when it comes to Schwimmer…making her jealous that one time was the highlight of my week. In any case, I know that Weston was a hot piece of ass while he lasted, and I know that Schwimmer is too good for him."

"Well, yeah, I guess." It took Shelby a minute to remember what Cassie was talking about, making Rachel jealous, until she realized that Rachel HAD in fact told her about that incident. It had made Shelby incredibly jealous as well, but she wasn't about to admit that now. She knew how hot it made Cassandra when Shelby got jealous over something. Finally she decided to just continue the conversation. "Brody is a male prostitute."

This made Cassandra choke on her tea, coughing as she set it down on the table. "Ha! Weston? A man whore? Well I can totally see it, I just didn't know it…that must have pissed off Ohio, no wonder her girl is so defensive…"

"Well Santana found out a long time ago and tried to tell Rach but she wouldn't believe her."

"And thus the love affair began,"

Shelby nodded. 'That's when Santana admitted her feelings towards Rachel to me, yes."

"Well," Cassandra took Shelby by the waist and pulled her close, pecking a kiss on her neck. God her head hurt. She really needed something to drink…_NO._ She fought herself. _Shelby will never forgive you this time if you slip. Be careful…you can't stand to lose her again. Distract yourself with her. Just think about her…_ "You don't have to worry about any of THAT again, and Rachel's girlfriend shouldn't either—rest assured, sweetheart, I would NEVER sleep with your daughter."

"Oh, you better not," Shelby said with all seriousness, but with a smile.

"Can't, I'm too busy with YOU," Cass promised, putting her head in the crook of Shelby's neck and inhaling her wonderful scent. So natural, so beautiful, so amazing, and so wonderfully Shelby. It was inviting. She was distracting, and Cassandra loved it. Missed it. Craved it.

"Mmm. Good," Shelby answered, going along with whatever it was Cassie was doing to her neck.

"Well yes, actually it is," Cassie spoke against Shelby's neck, giving the brunette shivers. "Hmmm," the vibration of Cassandra's hum made Shelby's stomach twist. "We have all day to ourselves…what do you want to do?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," Shelby tried to control her breathing. It had been so long since she'd fooled around with Cassandra like this. She was afraid to sleep with her so soon again. Her throat went dry as Cassandra said suggestively,

"Hmm, well I can think of a few things I'd like to do,"

Shelby caught on, "Not happening, July."

Cass backed off a bit, remembering Shelby's limits. "Mmm. Well you can't hate me for trying…"  
Shelby smiled, "No, I suppose I can't."

"Well then what did YOU have in mind?"

Shelby thought about it, knowing that going out somewhere was not high on either one's list of priorities. "Movie?"

"Sounds good, babe," Cass prepared herself for some sort of romantic comedy that Shelby had always loved, or something Barbra. There was ALWAYS something Barbra. "What movie?" she dared to ask.

"You pick," Shelby took her by surprise by changing things up.

Cassandra widened her eyes. Shelby never let her have control of things—they were always fighting for control, because it was something both women couldn't live without. It had often been one of their relationship problems. "Really? You're not going to force me through Funny Girl?"

"Not today," Shelby laughed.

"Wow, someone's daring. How about…Chicago?" Cassie suggested. She was on edge, she felt sick. She needed to just cuddle with Shelby and get her mind off of drinking. So Chicago might not exactly take her mind off of drinking…but Shelby would.

"That's fine, put it in," Shelby smiled. "I'll be right back.

"Okay," Cassie went to get the movie together. Finally, she and Shelby would just be able to relax with each other. This was what they needed right now.

. . .

Rachel walked back to her apartment, thinking about how she was going to go about this. She thought about what Shelby had told her, and thought about the conversation they had, then what she said when she left.

"…No time like the present…"

Like no day but today…

That was it! She knew what she was going to sing to Santana.

She made it back to the apartment to find Kurt in his room, flipping through Vogue magazines. Santana was on the couch, going through a ballet catalogue she must have stolen from Cassandra's office. Santana had always loved dance, unbeknown to most people. She had been hoping to get back to it, now that she was in New York. She barely acknowledged Rachel's existence as the brunette made her way through the apartment, setting her keys on the counter.

"San?" she heard the girl ask, sounding nervous.

If Rachel was nervous, then something must have been wrong. Hesitantly, only because she cared for the girl so much, Santana lifted her head to look at Rachel. "Yeah?" she set the catalogue down on her lap and gave Rachel her undivided attention. She was sick of fighting with her, in all reality. There was way too much drama and tension going on and it bothered Santana, reminding her of high school.

"I…I have something to say to you," Rachel said, seemingly unsure of what she was doing. She took a seat in front of Santana and Kurt, unbeknown to Rach and Santana, perked up at this piece of news, lifting his attention from his magazine and watching from his "room", which was really only separated from the rest of the apartment by a sheet. "But I have to sing it to you, like in Glee? It's the only way I can really think to do this."

"Um…Okay…?" San really hadn't a clue what to do with this bit of information.

A capella, Rachel started singing,

"There's only us, there's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today. There's only yes, only tonight. We must let go, to know what's right. No other path, no other way, no day but today. I can't control my destiny. I trust my soul; my only goal is just to be. There's only now, there's only here. Give in to love, or live in fear. No other course, no other way, no day but today…"

Kurt's jaw dropped as he recognized the RENT song. It was sung out of love. So SANTANA was the one that Rachel was in love with. No shit?!

Santana's heart started racing as she too recognized the song. Holy sweet hell, Shelby wasn't just saying things when she claimed that she was the one Rach was in love with, and not Cassandra? It felt too good to be true. Santana basked in the moment, trying to convince herself it was true. Rachel had tears in her eyes and she was shaking like crazy. Carefully, and exploring new territory, new feelings, new everything, Santana took both of Rachel's hands.

She had never been so tender with anybody besides Brittany, and sort of Dani. She had never had feelings like this though—this was completely new. It terrified her to the core, but Rachel's angel-like singing voice that Santana had always been relaxed by, calmed her. She gave herself courage—she was Santana Marie Fucking Lopez. She came from Lima Heights Adjacent. If she could do all that she's done, she can go out with Rachel Berry, right? How hard could it really be?

"Hey," She finally said, softly. "Rachel, I…" she wasn't sure she was ready to say "I love you". She'd take it one step at a time. "Will you go out with me?"

Kurt almost fell off of his bed. SANTANA LIKED RACHEL TOO?! HOT DAMN.

Rachel's heart sped up in her chest. Santana was asking her out? Her song actually worked? What?! But…but this was Santana. She didn't know how to date Santana! She didn't know how to date ANY girl!

Her feelings answered for her,

"Of course,"

"Tonight?" Santana bit her cheek, thinking herself too forward, even if they DID already live together…

"Sure," Rachel gave her a smile and boldly kissed Santana's cheek. "First I have to go talk to Shelby for a minute…"

Kurt finally decided to leave his room, pretending to just get in on the conversation, casually, "Didn't you just come back from there?"

Santana didn't care where the hell Rachel went as long as she promised to come back. The electricity of Rachel's kiss, even if only just on the cheek, gave Santana goosebumps. GOOD goosebumps. She practically broke out into a nervous sweat.

"No," Rachel lied. "I was at the studio practicing. I'd had it reserved," she let go of Santana's hands and reached for her keys on the counter, stopping her hands from shaking. "I'll be back later on?"

It was all Santana could do to nod and answer, "Okay, yeah, sure. I'll be here…"

"Great," Rachel smiled before walking out the door, her heart pounding so hard she was afraid it might fall out of her chest. Santana had asked her out…tonight. She felt like she was going to pass out. It was a good thing she was such a good actress.


	7. Learning Process pt 2

Cass got the movie into the player and was waiting for Shelby to get back from wherever she was at. She heard the microwave going and assumed she was making popcorn or something. Before she could search for her, Shelby's phone went off on the table in front of her. She looked around for the brunette.

"Shelbs?!" she called but got no response. With a timid hand, (it had been a long time since she'd touched Shelby's phone, let alone answered it for her, and she wasn't sure if Shelby would freak over it), she answered.

"Hello?"

The voice of a man replied, and Cassie automatically felt anxious. He slurred his words as he said, "Hey baby, took you long enough to answer…"

Her heart raced. Who the hell did this man think he was, calling Shelby "baby"?!

"Um, excuse me?"

"Shelby? Baby, it's me, Will."

"Will…" Cassandra's mind got sneaky. She would find out who this man was and he would never know that she wasn't Shelby. "Of course,"

"How's it goinnnnnnn?" he drew out his words.

"Oh, it's going," Cass was disgusted by him. He had already hit three strikes in her mind—he called Shelby baby, he was definitely drunk, and he couldn't distinguish between Shelby and Cassandra. He couldn't have loved her too much and that didn't slide with her. She realized she had no room, bad talking a drinker, but all the same, she was pissed. "Why are you calling?" she finally decided it was worth asking.

"I miss you baby,"

"Is that so?" Cass raised an eyebrow, crossing her arm over her chest.

"Yes, I am so stupid, I shouldn't have broken up with you."

_Ahh. He's an ex._ _Shelby has dated MEN after she dated me? Interesting…_

She had to find out what she did to make him break up with her. If she did it on purpose.

"Mmm. And why again did you do it? Was it worth it, do you think?" she tried her best to use phrasing that Shelby would. Apparently it worked, because he kept talking, un-phased.

"I left you because I thought I loved Emma. No, it wasn't worth it."

_Emma. Why'd you get yourself into something so complicated, Shelbs?_

In any case… "It's too late for apologies now, Will." Cassandra said angrily. He had obviously hurt Shelby, or he wouldn't be apologizing. Nobody hurt Shelby, and no one was going to leave Shelby for someone else. Shelby was better than ANYONE out there, and if he was too stupid to see that, he wasn't worth her time.

"I'm sorry, Shelbs." He didn't sound very sorry and Cassandra's emotions got the best of her as she answered,

"Sorry? You want to talk to me about sorry after leaving me for another woman?"

"Yes, it was a mistake baby."

"I'm not your baby," Cassandra spit scathingly.

"I love you," he tried again. "Don't you remember what we had?"

Cass finally decided to give up her Shelby charade. She was done talking to this jerk.

"Do you not get what I'm saying to you? You need to back off." She was starting to get jealous and insanely over protective.

"Is there someone else?"

"Yes!" Cassandra said, exasperated. "There is! Someone who actually TRULY loves her!"

"Her?" now she had him confused. "I thought this was Shelby?"

"That's right, I'm not Shelby," she confessed. "But if you really loved her, you'd recognize her voice, am I wrong?"

"Who the fuck are you?" he wondered, clearly angry.

Cass smirked at his anger—it fueled her to keep going. "Goodbye, Will." She needed to get back to her Shelby.

"NO, you fucking bitch!"

"I SAID GOODBYE. NEVER call here again!" she hit the phone off and threw it down onto the couch, pissed.

Finally, Shelby made it back into the living room, a confused look on her face. "Why were you yelling, baby?"

Straightening, slightly, Cass picked Shelby's phone back up and set it carefully on the table. Did she really want to explain everything to Shelby? No, she wanted to have a drink. She needed it so bad. She felt so nauseous…her throat burned. She wasn't about to lie to Shelby about everything though.

"What is it, baby?" Shelby noticed Cassandra as she held her hands to her head in irritation—why wasn't this aspirin kicking in yet?!

"Just some ass calling your phone, begging for you back after leaving you for some other bitch."

Shelby did her best not to smirk at Cassandra's tone of jealousy. Cassandra jealous was rare, but it was hot.

"Will?" she guessed.

"Yeah. He sounded high off his ass or drunk or some shit…"

"Oh god," Shelby worried, knowing it would drive Cassandra's jealousy over the edge. She thought maybe she shouldn't tease her today, but she couldn't help herself. "Maybe I should call him back and make sure he's okay," she wasn't exactly purposely making her jealous anymore. She was seriously concerned about Will. He had always only gotten drunk when something was seriously wrong.

"Don't bother," Cass said, annoyed. "He doesn't love you."

Shelby sighed, noticing she was making Cassandra MUCH more jealous than she had originally intended.

"I don't love him either, Cass," she promised. "It's just—"

"You sure about that?" Cassandra put her hands on her hips.

Shelby walked towards Cass, putting her hands on her arms, "Yes, baby."

Cassandra continued, "Really? Because that look on your face when you asked who it was—I didn't miss that."

"Baby, please. I only love you," how did she know this would happen? She couldn't truly blame Cassandra for being jealous, no matter how hot it was, it was also not fair that Shelby had started this. Will did need to be checked up on, but Cassandra need to be assured.

"…okay," she did not seem very assured.

"I mean it, Cassie." Shelby kissed her cheek. "Okay?"

Cassandra didn't know what to believe, so she simply changed the subject, backing out of Shelby's grasp. "In any case, he thought I was you the whole time. Can't have been too involved with you if he couldn't recognize your voice."  
"What?!" this completely caught Shelby off guard and changed things. "What did you say to him?! If he was drunk then he wouldn't have been able to pay attention, YOU of all people should know that!"

Cassandra threw her hands into the air, "What else would I have told him? I told him NOT to call you, you're so much better than him, babe! And what the hell is THAT supposed to mean? Are you comparing me to HIM?!" she was on edge, her head felt like it was on fire, and she really didn't want to fight with Shelby right now.

Shelby was already sick of arguing and regretting everything she had said. She knew that Cass was on edge without the alcohol to calm her, and starting this with her wasn't going to help anything. She tried to fix it,

"I didn't mean it like that, baby,"

"No, I'm sure you didn't, but you Corcorans never do, do you? Schwimmer's always saying things she didn't mean."

"Cassie, please," Shelby reached for her hand and took it and Cassandra's wall started to drop at her touch. Her voice broke as she said,

"…He called you baby like he owned you. Like you were his to call baby."

"I'm not, baby. I am yours." Cassandra took her hand back and squeezed it softly. "You know that," Shelby reminded her.

"Well, maybe you should've made sure he knew that."

Shelby gave a small smile, "If you would let me call him back…you can't just hang up on Will, or he will continue to bother us…"

Annoyed and wishing for her head to just stop, she handed Shelby the phone. "Do whatever the fuck you want; it's your phone…"

"…you have to talk to him like a child," Shelby said. "Baby please don't be mad at me…stay here with me while I call him?"

Cassandra took a long, soothing breath. "I'm not mad, babe, not really….okay."

Shelby redialed his number and he answered right away.

"Will?"

"Shelby, baby, is it really you? Or is it that other bitch again?"

Shelby took Cassandra's hand and scowled at his name calling. "It's me, Will. Look, we need to talk…"

He seemed to think that was an invitation to beg,

"Oh my god baby I've missed you so much…"

"Stop. Right. There." She squeezed Cassie's hand and Cassie squeezed back, closing her eyes and trying not to fall over.

"…Shelbs?" Will said. "Look, I was a fool for leaving you. I'm not in love with Emma, I only have sights for you!"

"Will, you need to stop. I am not available, I'm with Cassandra July. There was really nothing ever between you and me." Shelby spoke calmly, slowly, pronouncing her words.

At this, Will laughed. "CASSANDRA July? You're with a woman? That jealous bitch on the phone? You're not even gay!"

"She's not a bitch!" She barked into the phone before regaining her cool. "And yes, I am." She admitted. "That's why we can't have anything between us."

"Don't push me away again, baby. Things were different last time, but you don't have to make up lies just to get me to stop begging for you. I won't stop fighting for you, I need you."

This was getting tiring. Shelby was done with it.

"I'm not lying, Will. Now, you have talked to me, so leave me alone. Leave US alone."

"But baby, I—"

WHY was he so desperate?!

"Goodbye, Will."

"Shelby!"

She was fed up, and Cassandra was done listening, rolling her eyes.

"WHAT WILL?!"

"I LOVE YOU."

She was so done. She yelled her answer,

"No, you don't, you're DRUNK. Right now you'll love anything that will give you the time of day. I deserve so much better than you. Cassie is that person, now leave us alone. Don't call me ever again. Understand, William?"

Next to Shelby, Cassandra scoffed at "William", dying. Laughing hurt her head but it was worth it. Shelby smacked her playfully.

"Shelbbyyy babbyyyy I'm not drunk…"

Shelby was finished talking with him. She had been neglecting Cassandra and that wasn't okay with her. She leaned over and kissed the blonde's cheek in thanks for putting up with everything. Her jealousy had immensely turned Shelby on and though she wasn't prepared to act all the way, a little bit of acknowledgement was in order.

"Goodbye," she said into the phone, hanging up.

Cassandra kissed Shelby back and moaned into her touch. "Could he have been a little more desperate?" Cassandra whined. Her head hurt. She needed Shelby to make it better.

"I know," Shelby pressed herself closer and said, "I know, I know, I'm sorry that you thought I still want him. I don't." she proved it by letting her tongue slip across the top of Cassandra's lips and making the blonde squirm.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Cass told her. "I believe you now."

"I have the person I want, and that is you, Cassandra. You're the only one for me." She promised.

Cassie pulled away and looked deeply into Shelby's beautifully dazzling green eyes. "I love you so much,"

"I love you too, baby,"

"Mmmm," Cassie melted and kissed Shelby's lips lightly.

"Mmm," Shelby agreed, as Cassie gave her another kiss, then two.

"Baby," Shelby said softly, her heart racing. "We," kiss "have" kiss "too" kiss "stop" kiss "this".

"Mmmmm," she gave Shelby another kiss that made the brunette shut up. "I don't," kiss "Think we do," she pulled Shelby closer; lifting her into her arms and Shelby didn't exactly stop her.

Lightly, Shelby fell back onto the couch and pulled Cassandra down with her. Cass ran her hands through Shelby's long, gorgeous hair, and gave Shelby shivers. Shelby's body shook under Cassandra and Cass tightened her grip, steadying her.

"Mmm, Cass," Shelby whimpered. It had been far too long since she'd been touched by Cassandra like this. God she missed it so badly…but she knew she couldn't have it back, not like this. Make up sex wasn't special enough.

"Hmmm?" Cassie wondered, placing a light kiss below Shelby's ear. Shelby swooned, unable to stop herself, and Cassandra grinned, knowing she got her way.

"Nothing, baby," Shelby said.

"That's what I thought," Cassandra nibbled Shelby's ear and Shelby gasped, knowing they had to stop soon, or else she wouldn't be able to control herself. Hell, she wasn't controlling herself now and she knew it and it bothered her and if this was anybody but Cassandra she would have quit by now. But Cassandra…she knew just how to make Shelby lose her senses.

Cass straddled Shelby's waist and pressed herself against her. Shelby's eyes widened, "Oh, god…"

Before anything else could possibly happen, the front door flew open and Rachel barged through it. "Mom?!" she said, before noticing what was going on. Her eyes widened in shock when she did.

Cassandra moved off of Shelby so quickly that she practically face planted the floor, moving to the other side of the couch in protest. "WHAT. THE. HELL, SCHWIMMER?!" she demanded, her chest rising and falling heavily. She already missed Shelby's touch. Shelby moved her shirt back into place—it had fallen slightly askew on her shoulder.

"Shit, Rach!" she said, hurriedly.

Rachel blushed and laughed, "Oh…sorry…"

Cassandra's headache was returning and she moaned, throwing her head back and holding it with her hands. "Is there a legitimate reason you're here, or am I going to have to hurt you?!"

"Cassie," Shelby warned, finally catching her breath. "Leave her alone,"

Cass rolled her eyes and pulled her legs to her chest, dropping her head down to her knees. Shelby ignored her, because in all reality they had started to take things too far and she needed the excuse to stop, no matter how much she didn't want to.

"What's up, Rach?"

"I just…I needed to talk to you about…" Rachel cleared her throat, uncomfortable talking about Santana in front of Ms July. "Something…"

"Of course, baby girl," Shelby stood, "Let's talk about it in my room…"

Cass sighed and groaned loudly, being dramatic, but also feeling like hell again.

"Sorry, Cass,"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll survive. Go tell your daughter how to date a girl…"

Rachel's heart dropped, nervously. "Excuse me?"

"We all know that's why you're here…"

"Cassie, stop," Shelby said sternly. She didn't know how she was going to learn to get those two to get along, but she knew it needed to be done soon because things were starting to get ridiculous.

"What?" Cassandra got defensive. "I'm not being mean! I'm telling the truth."

"You need to respect Rachel if you're both going to be in my house."

"Ugh I tolerate her! Give me a break, babe!" Cass complained, irritated. She felt like she was going to be sick and Rachel Berry being here was not making her feel any better.

"Whatever," Shelby sighed. "We'll talk later." She grabbed Rachel's hand and practically dragged her to her bedroom. She needed to just take a deep breath. "Come on, Rach. What's up?" she asked once they finally made it away from Cass.

"Well…Santana might have sort of…asked me out."

"Really?!" Shelby grinned. "That's great!"

"Yeah, I just don't know what to do now…"

"Okay, well you like her, right?" Shelby said, stating the obvious.

"Well, yeah, but I don't know how to date ANY girl, mama, let alone Santana!"

"Just go with the flow, baby girl," Shelby said with a small smile. "Stop worrying so much and just go with it…"

"But…Santana was…she was very about…well she had a lot of partners in high school and I don't know…I don't…" She blushed so heavily she felt she might die, and Shelby blushed back.

Was her daughter seriously asking her how to have sex with Santana?! After she barged into her apartment and interrupted the first make out session with her girlfriend that she had had in YEARS?! She couldn't tell Rachel how to…she barely knew if she could still do it herself!

"Can't help you there, Rach," she mumbled out.

"What?! Why not?! Mom, I NEED you on this…Santana was the queen…" she picked at her thumbnail and stared at the floor. This was embarrassing enough as it was, and now Shelby wasn't even going to help her? She's been with Cassandra July—she has to know SOMETHING worthwhile!

"Look, Rachel, if she asked you out then she sees something in you…"

"Yeah, but…but she doesn't think I'm sexy or anything…no one does. Even Miss July said I'm not sexy enough for a tango."

Shelby shook her head. "Don't worry about Cassie, I'm working on it. Santana likes you so she must think you're attractive…"

"…I guess so," Rachel sighed. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe she'd just figure things out. Her heart raced. Or maybe she'd look like a fool in front of the sex queen. "What if I screw this up?"

"It'll be okay, baby girl," Shelby tried to convince her.

Rachel took a deep breath, knowing she should get back to the apartment and get ready for her date. "Okay. Okay, mama, I trust you."

"Good. Now, go home and talk to your girl. Apparently I need to have a talk with your teacher."

Rachel laughed lightly, "Remember how much you love her, mom…here goes nothing…"

"Knock next time?" Shelby asked, as they made it back into the living room.

Cass sat up, worried, and asked, "There's gonna be a next time?!"

Rachel laughed. "Bye, mom."

"Bye, Rachel." Rach shut the door and Shelby sat down next to Cass. "Baby, we need to talk."

"What did I do THIS time? Can we ever NOT be fighting? Let loose a little, Shelbs."

"This isn't a fight," Shelby kissed Cassandra's neck lightly. "Just lay off my daughter."

"I'm trying," Cass tilted her head back for another kiss but Shelby didn't give it to her.

"I know," Shelby smiled.

And it was true. She knew how hard Cassandra was trying, she understood how much pain the woman was in, and she was so proud. However she knew that Cass wouldn't be able to lay off Rachel by the next day, especially if those aspirin weren't going to start kicking in.

Cassandra was going to be in one hell of a mood during classes for a while, and Shelby pitied the students, in reality.

It was all going to be a long process, she realized. It was all a learning game.


	8. Dating On A Saturday

Santana paced the apartment, running her hands through her hair. She had so much to do before Rachel got back, and so little time to do it all and she had no idea where she was going to take Rachel for their date. She bit her lip. Had her asking been too spontaneous? Was it too soon?

She scoffed to herself. Fuck no it wasn't too soon—how long had she known Berry, after all? But she had no idea what she was getting herself into—not really, and she was admittedly terrified. She was sweating and jumpy and shaking and couldn't understand how one person—Rachel Berry, of ALL people—could make her feel so…nervous. So…head over heels. It was a feeling she was unaccustomed to, even when she was with Brittany she hadn't felt this strange.

If she had to admit it…she actually sort of LIKED the weird feelings she was having. They made her feel like a normal person with normal feelings and a heart. They reminded her that she still had a chance.

Cracking her knuckles, neck, and back, she stood, trying to seem casual, next to Kurt's room separator. She knew she had to talk to him—he was the only person who knew Rachel inside and out almost better than Rachel did. He would know where to take her…

With a shaky hand, she knocked on the wall next to the separator. "Kurt? Can we talk?" she tried not to sound too timid but she had a feeling it came off that way anyways.

Kurt, who was skyping with Blaine, peeked out from behind the curtain when he heard Santana's voice. Since when did Santana ever want to talk? Whatever the case, if she was asking, he assumed it was important (really, he just assumed it was about Rachel, because who else did she have to talk to when Rachel was at Shelby's?). He blew a kiss to Blaine and promised to call back later before saying, "Of course, San…This is different and very spontaneous of you…"

Santana was sick of wondering if things were spontaneous and his comment made her snap, crossing her arms. "Shut up. I asked Rachel out." Things like this made her feel defensive—her being gay to begin with was what had always made her a snappy bitch in high school, and she was still learning to knock the habit, but around Kurt and Rachel she was definitely trying.

"I know," Kurt admitted, not seeming very guilty about the whole ordeal when he added, "I was sort of eavesdropping…"

She was about to protest when she realized that had she not been doing the exact same thing when he and Rach were talking about Cassandra, a lot of shit wouldn't have gone down—and it definitely wasn't worth it to start another war. She called it even.

"Okay. Well I don't know much about what she likes…by the way, if this gets out—any of this—I WILL end you."

Kurt smirked, knowing that was code for "I love you and I'm trusting you so please don't hurt me back". He also scoffed at what she had said before that. "Of course you know what she likes! You've known her for how many years? I've seen the way you watch her every move…and who am I going to tell, really? Shelby and Blaine already know…"

She took a shaky breath, remembering that Dani didn't know and she was going to have to break up with the poor girl eventually. She shoved that thought aside for now. Tonight was about Rachel. Dani had always been a distraction from Rachel and now that she HAD Rachel, she wasn't about to let the situation get switched around. Finally she admitted, because besides Shelby and Rachel, Kurt was really her only friend,

"I'm nervous."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, deciding to tease her just a little bit. It was Santana, right? She would've done the same to him… "Santana Lopez is nervous? Where's the calendar, we have to mark the day…"

He was greeted with a glare when he looked up at her face. She obviously DID care that he was teasing her. He realized how serious her feelings must have been for Rachel. Admittedly, it shocked him, but he wasn't going to say anything against it. If Rachel really liked Santana as much as San seemed to like Rach, a BEAUTIFUL love story was bound to unfold.

"Fuck it," Santana turned to walk away, angry that he had made this a game.

"Santana, wait," he hurried after her, immediately feeling guilty. Had he realized that this wasn't just some crush earlier, he wouldn't have said what he had.

"What?!" she snapped back, spinning around to face him. Her heart was thumping and her head was spinning and she didn't know what else to do, if Kurt was just going to mock her. She needed help, damn it!

"You know I had to push this," he said softly. "It's new. You would've JUMPED at the chance to mock me or Rach…and don't you snap at me…we're friends now, remember? Is that any way to get help from me? You and I both know how badly you need it…"

Any other time, Santana Lopez would NOT under ANY circumstances admit to needing help. But Rachel was just a special case, and she would take all the help she could get—this was one thing she couldn't screw up.

"Okay, you're right, just—just help me," she added as a whisper, "Please…"

Kurt widened his eyes, "She's begging now too… a please and everything." He sat down on his bed, crossing his legs, and patted the spot next to him. Hesitantly, she followed his lead. "Look," he said once she was sitting, suddenly all business. "The way to Rachel's heart is obviously through Broadway, but she's a very romantic and "at home" person as well…a lot like Shelby and you DO know Shelby. The major difference between the two is that Shelby doesn't show her emotions as well and Rachel has a hard time ever hiding them."

"Okay…" Santana processed information that really she already knew in the back of her mind. "So…where should I take her? I don't have the money for Sardis…"

He had to ponder this question for a minute before his eyes lit up with a genius idea. "There's a family diner a few blocks away. She LOVES it there."

Santana perked up at the news. "Really?"

"Yes. It'd be perfect. You'd have her heart in seconds; she's already basically in love with you…"

"Is she really?!" she'd been told this numerous times already but never by Rachel so she didn't really know if it was fact. Besides that, she LOVED hearing it.

"She seems to be, how could you not know this?! I thought nothing got past "Miss Lima Heights Adjacent? Even SHELBY knows, come on now, she doesn't even live with us…"

"Well, I didn't want to get my hopes up so I sort of just ignored her advances," Santana admitted for the first time, even to herself. It shocked her when it came out of her mouth.

"And THAT my dear was your first mistake—you could've had her much sooner."

"I know," Santana rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. "Anyways, I gots to go get ready now. Thanks, Hummel," she said the last part completely sincerely. She really appreciated his help and Kurt knew she did because she had finally stopped shaking AND she was thanking him.

Kurt gave her a warm smile, excited to see how this Rachel/San love would flourish. He was going to ask her what was going to happen to Dani, but he decided not to push it. She was too excited to ruin her mood and for all he knew they could've already broken up. He simply replied, "Anytime, Santana. Don't be afraid to ask anymore. We're family, you know…"

"Okay," she uncrossed her arms and walked away to get ready, running through a list in her head of all she had to do. Make up, hair, dress, flowers? Definitely flowers. Tonight would be perfect if it killed her—this was Rachel Berry they were talking about.

. . .

An hour or so after Rachel had left, Cassandra and Shelby sat on the couch in a very comfortable position—Cass had her head in Shelby's lap and Shelby was playing with her long strands of blonde hair as they talked. Cassandra's stomach growled unexpectedly and she looked up into Shelby's eyes. Shelby looked down at her with an amused smirk.

"Babe, do you own food? I'm starved…" Cass admitted. She couldn't remember the last time she OR Shelby had actually eaten anything.

"Yes, go help yourself. Pantry and fridge," Shelby answered. Eager for food and for a distraction from her nausea, Cass walked to the fridge and opened it, glaring; she was amused yet irritated at Shelby's lack of GOOD food. All she had were vegetables and fruits and healthy crap. Tilting her head back, Cass complained,

"This shit is wayyyyy too healthy and that's coming from ME," this meant something, considering Cassandra was WAY in shape and usually ate as healthy as she could in order to stay that way—she also encouraged her students to do the same, because an unhealthy dancer made for a bad performance. "A little chocolate, a pizza—they won't kill your skinny ass every once in a while, C." She admitted.

Shelby turned her head from the couch in the living room and shook it slowly. "I have to work to look this good, honey. Not everyone can have abs like yours," she had always been shamefully jealous of the blonde's abs, as she assumed everyone was. Of course, Shelby had her own set that drove Cassandra wild, but they weren't NEARLY as up to par as Cassie's were.

"Oh, please," Cassandra tossed the comment aside like yesterday's old newspaper. "You're sexy little ass is gorgeous no matter what and these abs just come from dancing; if you wanted to get that close to me you could've just said so…" she added suggestively.

Shelby rolled her eyes and rubbed her hands down her arms. Cassie had been her space heater before she left and she was missing the comfort of the woman. "Ugh. Just find something to eat and come back. I'm cold."

Raising an eyebrow, Cass teased, "Oh, was my presence keeping you comfortable? Great to know that I'm needed…"

Shelby laughed, "Oh, shut up."

Shaking her head, deciding that the food in Shelby's pantry was no good either, she grabbed her keys off the counter and threw her jacket on. "Grab your jacket," she commanded.

"What?" Shelby stood and walked towards her now. "Where are we going?" she took her jacket off of the chair as she passed it and slipped it on.

"To buy you some REAL food. If I'm expected to come over here and EAT I can't deal with all of this healthy shit. You have to let loose a little."

"Ugh. Fine."

Before opening the door, Cassandra turned to face Shelby, their bodies so close that they could feel the heat exchange between them. Boldly, she slipped her hand into Shelby's warmly. "You love me."

"Only sometimes," Shelby winked and gave Cassie's hand a small squeeze.

Pretending to be fazed by the comment, Cass put her free hand over her heart as the left the apartment building and started down the street. "Oh, that hurt. I'm wounded, truly…" but her body language didn't prove it as she snuggled closer to Shelby while they walked.

"Oh, I love you, Cass," Shelby said with a smile, breathing in Cassandra's wonderfully her scent, as they were that close. She had MISSED this closeness more than she could say. She had missed Cassandra so much and all of the time she was spending with the woman today was reminding her of why she fell in love with her to begin with.

"Mmm," Cassandra felt quite the same way, but didn't understand how to put into words what she was feeling for the wonderful woman whom had recently come back into her life. God how she had missed this. She COULD NOT let her get away ever again, or else she knew it might just kill her. "I love you too, Shelbs."

After a comfortable moments' pause, Cassie re-brought up the original topic, "So why don't you own any good food?" they were half way to the store.

Shelby rolled her eyes and smirked, playfully. Why was Cassandra so bothered by this? Cassie knew that Shelby treated her body like a machine—she rarely ever ate for pleasure. Half the time she didn't do anything for pleasure, she was usually all business. She had been trying to work on it recently though, maybe Cassie was what she needed to relax and unwind. She laughed. Cassie was DEFINITELY what she needed to relax and unwind. "I own plenty of good food."

"Really?" Cassandra taunted. "Because I don't think rice cakes count."

"Sure they do," Shelby teased back. "Like I said before, I can't just eat whatever I want." And this was something she truly believed—she had never really eaten whatever she wanted. She had never seen the point in it—all she needed food for was to have energy to function for her shows and rehearsals and work—and she had to look good if she was going to be an all-business kind of woman.

However, Shelby's comment struck Cassandra as odd. She remembered that Shelby didn't agree with putting "junk" in her body, but she had always assumed that it was because Shelby was raised by strict ass parents that never let the poor girl have any fun; the ones who wanted her to be a lawyer instead of a performer. Maybe, she thought, this "no junk food and nothing for pleasure" attitude had flourished from Shelby's raising and nobody had been able to crack the code yet. Cassandra smirked, _Challenge accepted._

"And why not?" she demanded, wanting to see what Shelby would say before she set her plan of trying to get Shelby to ease the tension in her life to action. The poor brunette HAD to stop being so hard on herself all the time.

"I have to work for my body," Shelby repeated her answer from earlier. "We've already discussed this."

Cassandra replied, exasperated, "I work for my body too, baby, but not THAT hard. You don't have to kill yourself over it. You don't have to impress anybody—you already have me."

"I know I do baby, but still…"

"But nothing. You're sexy as HELL. Your body is perfect. Eat the damn hot fudge sundae."

Shelby snorted and then laughed, "Okay, so this is basically a junk food run?" she wasn't sure how completely comfortable with the idea she was but she had been thinking about how this time around would go with Cassandra. If Cassandra was willing to step out of HER comfort zone and sober up, then Shelby had to be willing to step out of HER comfort zone for Cassie too, right? And she trusted Cassie. She knew she would get through it.

Cassandra laughed back. "This is DEFINITELY a junk food run. It's a dire emergency."

Shelby pursed her lips. "One condition…"

Raising an eyebrow, Cassie said, "Oh?"

Their feet hit the sidewalk in perfect synchronization as they walked, pulling close to each other for warmth—their hands had never left each other's' grasp. The crisp late autumn air was starting to get whippy and Shelby's hair was whisked behind her occasionally, which she ignored. It made Cassandra stare.

Shelby playfully slapped Cassandra's arm and smiled, knowing that that "oh" had been the slightest bit suggestive, as Cassie always was. It drove her crazy and she loved every second of it, but she wasn't about to just agree to Cassie's advances like that—she was NOT that easy. "You have to go running with me if I buy this junk food you speak of."

"UUUUGH do you not understand I'm already on my feet from dusk till dawn? Extra running? No thank you… how about…you go dancing with me instead? Hmmm? My studio is mine alone unless I let certain students take it out for rehearsals….I think a tango would be right up your alley…"

Cassandra's mention of a tango made Shelby think back to some earlier conversations she had had with Rachel. _"She says I don't have the sex appeal to dance the tango mom. 'Because when you're dancing the tango with somebody, you're seducing them,"_ She had said. This sent good shivers all the way down Shelby's spine and her emotions answered before her brain could think it over.

"Okay,"

And surprisingly enough she didn't mind that her feelings made her do that. Around Cassie, she was starting to think that letting her emotions take control every once in a while might not be such a bad idea. She knew she had to get that wall to break down—the wall was unnecessary around Cassandra, and if Cass was going to try to do the same for her, the least Shelby could do was reciprocate.

Shelby's answer made Cass stop in her tracks, forcing Shelby to stop with her. "Really? It's that easy to get you to dance with me? Had I known that I would've asked you a long time ago…" she raised a curious eyebrow, because she knew that had she asked any earlier in their this-time-around relationship, Shelby would've been hesitant about it.

Shelby just smiled, "Mmhmm," and cuddled back into Cassie as they started walking again.

Finally, they had made it the ten blocks to the store.

"Okay," Cassie playfully swung Shelby's arm back and forth and Shelby giggled lightly. "This is what we're going to do. Chocolate. Wine,"

Shelby gave her a glare that said, "I can't tell if you're kidding or not but don't even bring it up,"

At this, Cass pressed her lips together. "No wine. Frozen pizza. Mmmm, what about some chocolate covered cherries?"

Shelby shook her head, recognizing a lost battle on her part. Cassandra was hell bent on unhealthy eating, and all Shelby could think was that she was lucky it was a Saturday night. She would have Sunday to recover.

"Okay," she finally agreed because it might be nice to not eat health food for one night and just eat whatever. "Oooooh, if we're getting junk food we HAVE to get cheesecake. It's my weakness."

Cassie gave her a smirk and a peck on the cheek, "Now you're talking, babe. I'm going to corrupt that adorably healthy mind of yours if it's the last thing I do."

"Oh, puhlease…" Shelby said dramatically, laughing and really enjoying herself for the first time in a while as she and Cassandra rounded another aisle. Cassie HAD to get those chocolate covered cherries (which Shelby admittedly thought sounded AMAZING, but she didn't dare say it aloud—she would not give Cass the satisfaction), after which she said,

"Seriously! This will happen. I will figure out how to break that damn wall…"

This made Shelby soften up a little as she looked at her new….renewed? Ex-girlfriend…girlfriend? Girlfriend. She remembered how much she loved the word even in her thoughts. She looked at her girlfriend and Cassandra looked back, muttering a,

"Please, C, I know it's still there. But we can be the way we were before, and we will—I'm going to make sure of it."

"Really?" Shelby's voice was full of hope and admiration.

"Of course—I'm sobering up, aren't I?"

And that was really the biggest amount of proof Shelby needed.

After another twenty minutes or so of shopping around, with the cart containing no healthy item whatsoever, Shelby threw a bag of chips in the cart and sighed. She didn't think she had ever had THAT much fun just shopping before. But Cassandra made everything seem like an adventure, and that was one of the things Shelbs had always loved the most about her.

"Okay. Can we go now?"

Cassie looked down into the cart, mocking a sigh, "It's not nearly enough to corrupt with, but it'll do, I suppose…"

Shelby gave her a small smile. "You're impossible," she teased. "Let's go home."

"Finnnneeeee." Cassie took Shelby's hand again as she paid for everything she was making Shelby get. She only thought it fair that she was paying—it wasn't exactly food that Shelby wanted, (well, she wanted it, she just didn't WANT to want it) and Cass knew that had she not forced this, Shelby wouldn't have done it.

Shelby's heart leapt like a teenage girl with a crush when Cassandra took her hand, ever so casually, as if nothing had changed. It gave Shelby a sense of hope that maybe nothing had. Perhaps, she thought, they really could make this work again, just like before, like Cassandra had vowed to make happen. She rested her head in the crook of the blonde's neck and thought about how she never wanted the weekend to end. She just wanted Cassandra to hold her. It was amazing how much could happen in a week.

. . .

Santana had timed everything perfectly. She gave Rachel just the right amount of time that she assumed the brunette would need to get ready, and in said time she rushed to the market for a dozen roses to give to her date. On her way, since she had originally told Rach that she would be at the apartment when she got back, she texted Rach and told her she would be back by seven.

It was now 6:59.

San's palms were sweating nervously and she had to stop in front of the apartment door to compose herself for a minute before she went in. Her breaths were short and constricted—she had never been so anxious about anything in her life, and she realized it was because nothing else had ever seemed so important. It was RACHEL BERRY. The woman she had been crushing on for years but was too chicken to say—cause what if Rach said no? Rach wasn't even into girls, or so San had believed for such a long time.

She didn't have time to be mad at Rach for not telling her sooner—it wasn't as if she had willingly come out either. Besides, she was finally getting what she had always wanted—Rachel Berry. So why was she so nervous?

She knew she couldn't screw this up. If it were anyone else, she wouldn't have been so panicky. But this was Rachel—roommate, friend, crush. She was different from all of the other girls. Rachel Berry was special. She was also Santana's best friend's daughter. San shook her head—it sounded so creepy when she thought about it like that, but if Shelby wasn't so much older than her then it wouldn't have been…

Santana cleared her throat, straightened her perfectly hip hugging, short green dress, and knocked on her own apartment door.

From the inside of the apartment, Rachel had been freaking out. She had spent most of her time finding out what to wear—she had chosen a simple black dress with a silver belt across the middle. The other part of the time she had to kill by doing her hair. She hadn't done much—she'd curled it and it was all resting over one shoulder. Now she was just pacing the room, biting her lip.

_What if I babble like an idiot? Or say something stupid? What if I didn't dress right? How do I go out with a girl? How do I go out with SANTANA?! Do I pay or does she? Was I supposed to bring her flowers? What if the date is horrible and we awkwardly come home and just look at each other? What are we going to say to Kurt? Or Shelby? We'd never hear the end from Cassandra…Hell, we'll never hear the end of it from her now anyways…How is tonight going to end? What if—_

A knock on the door interrupted her worrying and with a glance at the clock, she answered it, slightly confused. She smiled at the sight of Santana, in a very Santana-Lopez green dress that hugged her hips in all the right places, holding a bouquet of a dozen roses in her arms. Rachel blushed as she caught herself staring,

"San?" she laughed lightly. "…This is your apartment,"

Immediately, out of habit and nerves, Santana got defensive. "Shut up. I'm trying here, Hobb—Rachel…" with shaking hands, she handed Rachel the roses.

"Hey, hey," Rachel said softly, accepting the roses and smelling them excitedly. They were a gorgeous blood red and Rachel's heart fluttered at the fact that Santana knew what her favorite kind of roses looked like… "I love them. I do. Thank you," she went over to the kitchen sink, trimmed them hurriedly, filled the empty vase on the table and set them gently into it with a grin.

"You're welcome," Santana bit the inside of her cheek and watched as Rachel walked around the room in her ever-so-theatrical way. "So…are you ready?"

Rachel nervously but happily made her way back over to Santana and grinned from ear to ear, knowing she seemed a little too eager but that if Santana had been crushing on her for as long as she had said, she'd probably just find it very Rachel-Berry-esque and laugh at it. "More than ready. You have no…" she shook her head and smiled. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this…"

"Awe, well let's go then, babe," Santana couldn't help but smile back as she boldly reached out for Rachel's hand.

Shaking slightly, Rachel took a deep breath. Santana was quick to notice her hesitation and hoped it was out of nerves and not that San was going too fast…Carefully, Rachel took Santana's hand. This was new, this was scary but it was beautiful as an electric current seemed to shoot up her arm, going straight to her heart and making her feel alive.

"Where are we going?" she asked, suddenly having more confidence than before.

"You'll see," Santana smirked and silently thanked Kurt for the destination chosen, hoping that he was right and that Rachel would love it and find it romantic. "But we're going to walk, is that okay? I've just always wanted to walk with you in the city in the moonlight," she paused, wondering if she was being too cliché or if she should make her date walk to their dinner…she sped up an addition, "But if you don't want to, we can get a cab…"

Rachel couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face because she had never seen anybody so tense or frightened, least of all Santana, and because she could relate to the feeling for sure. "You can breathe, San, really. This is just as new to me as it is to you…more so to me, and I'd love to walk with you in the moonlight. It's very romantic,"

San took a deep breath and wrapped her arm around Rachel, excited that Rachel seemed to think she was doing things right so far. Rachel leaned into Santana's embrace and whispered, admitting feelings, "I'm…I'm really new to all of this…I don't really know what to do."

"You're doing great, Rach, and you will be just fine. I'm nervous, too. You're not like the others. You're better. You were the one that I always wanted but never thought you were interested and now you are and I just…I don't know what to think," Santana had never spoken so much of her emotions at once before, and she dared to believe it actually felt…good. It felt _really_ good.

"Well," Rachel thought about it. "Maybe we should both just…take a deep breath? Get over the initial shock and understand that this is really happening…for real…"

Santana smiled at the sound of Rachel's voice, sounding musical even when she wasn't singing. "Maybe," she whispered as they came up to the diner. "We're here." She looked over at the shorter brunette to see her reaction. Rachel's face lit up.

"Oh my god! I love this place! How did you know?!"

Santana thought carefully about her response, then decided to just thank and credit Kurt later on. "I saw it the other day and it looked like something you would like. I know it's not Sardis, but they do have a Broadway sort of theme to it…"

Rachel smiled, knowing that Santana had probably not gotten this idea on her own, only because she knew that Santana had no reason to go to this side of town. "Or, you talked to Shelby and she told you it would work." She smirked. "But I love it all the same. I don't need Sardis, this is perfect."

Laughing, Santana was amused to know that Rachel knew she hadn't thought of it herself. It was also funny to think that she had gotten the idea from Shelby, who had practically been MIA to Santana since their fight and make-up thing. "It was not Shelby's idea, I can promise you that."

"Cass? Wait, no, you hate her…so it must have been Kurt…" she grinned, pulling Santana close, at first thinking herself a bit too bold and wondering if it was the right thing to do.

Santana melted into Rachel's hold. "You got me."

They sat down at a booth, Rachel on one side and Santana on the other, and ordered drinks. Meanwhile, Rachel continued to keep up the conversation, her heart beat relaxing a bit.

"Well you used to pretend to hate me and I'm not sure we've ever actually gone out to dinner, so SOMEONE had to have told you…I know you're nervous…"

At this Santana blushed and Rachel continued,

"But it's okay," and blushed herself. "I am too…I actually had to go talk to Shelby about this…"

"Really?" Santana raised an eyebrow, missing her best friend's pep talks and sort of wishing that Shelby had been there for her as well. "And what did she have to say?"

"She um…" Rachel looked down into her iced tea and mumbled, "She said to just go with the flow because she couldn't help me…I sort of ruined a moment for her…"

This comment made Santana choke on her Coke. "You mean you interrupted Shelby and July making sweet lady love?!"

Rachel was quick to save herself, realizing that she had made it sound much worse than it was. "No, no not exactly…

Putting a hand over her heart, Santana calked down a bit. "Oh, okay. I was worried about you there for a moment…That would have scarred me for life…" she shuddered to think about it—even if the whole fight hadn't been Cassandra's fault, Santana was still very weary of the woman and thought that Shelby deserved much better.

"Oh, I was scarred plenty, believe me. The last thing I needed to see was my horrible dance teacher making out with my mother," Rachel shivered and laughed and her laughter was contagious, transferring over to Santana as well.

"Right?! But on a serious note, if she doesn't lay off of you I will have to really beat her crazy ass." She took another drink, determinedly.

Sighing and giving a smile, Rachel's heart melted at the protective and jealous gesture. "You and my mother both, honestly. She's bad but I can handle her, really…she's not even as bad as Sue was. She's just more intimidating…and dating my mom…"

"Mmm…" San nodded in understanding.

"Right, and it's just…I don't know I guess there's a lot of things that everyone's going to have to get used to now. For me it'll be learning how to knock on Shelby's front door."

"Right?!" Santana grinned at the girl; she had never realized that Rachel had such a sense of humor before, and she supposed that spending all of that time avoiding Rachel was going to get her into a bit of trouble now. She didn't know nearly as much about Rachel as she would have liked, but she was eager to learn. She caught herself staring at Rachel and looked away hurriedly.

With another smile, for she had also caught Santana staring (Rachel also had happened to be staring at her) a slight blush hit Rachel's cheeks and she looked back down into her drink.

"You're gorgeous, Rach," Santana admitted, feeling stronger and stronger with every word they spoke to each other. She was getting more comfortable, however still nervous—like sweating, shaking, heart pounding nervous—and she wasn't sure that THAT feeling would ever really go away.

Her comment seemed to have somehow caught Rachel off guard. Rachel had never thought herself to be beautiful—Santana and Quinn and Brittany were always the pretty ones and Rachel was the one who had the most musical talent. She had always hoped to be pretty like the other three girls but had never really felt it. She had especially never expected Santana to call her _gorgeous_.

"I…really? You think so?" she couldn't keep the shock out of her voice. "Because it means a lot coming from you, San. I've always admired you from afar…you're just so…you're incredible and you're beautiful and amazing and I…I'm rambling because I'm nervous. I'm sorry. I know you hate it when I talk like this…"

Defensive because she had never expected Rach to say such nice things about her, Santana automatically said, "Yeah I do." She paused, recognizing her mistake. She was WITH Rachel now; she no longer had to pretend that everything the brunette did was annoying. "Well I did. I actually find it adorable," she smiled and reached across the table to take Rachel's hand.

Slowly, Rachel's gaze turned up and she looked into Santana's beautifully dazzling eyes, smiling and thinking that if she were to die in seconds, she just might be okay with it. She felt like her life had been made.


	9. Heartbreak and Cheesecake

**A/N: Sorry if the spacing is messed up on here. My computer crashed so we are trying to fix it in an email and it keeps messing it up. Bear with us. Enjoy! **

**A/N 2: Thank you all for the reviews/follows/and favorites! You make us want to keep writing.**

Dani walked into her favorite diner, ready for dinner and to go home and relax after a long day of working on her music and performing said music. She was humming the tune to one of her latest songs (one of the last ones she sang) as she walked up to the counter and placed her order. She didn't even see Santana and Rachel until she turned around and leaned up against the counter. She smiled at her girlfriend and questioned,

"Santana?" she hadn't expected her to be here, of all places. Broadway family diners weren't really her thing.

Santana froze mid laugh with Rachel, her blood running cold, upon hearing her technical "girlfriend" say her name in surprise. What the hell was Dani doing here?! She couldn't be here! This was her first date with Rachel! Holy sweet hell…Didn't she have anywhere else to be? Santana was planning on breaking up with Dani afterwards…after asking out Rachel so suddenly she hadn't gotten the chance to earlier.

She cast a worried glance at Rachel and slowly let go of the girl's hands, hoping she wouldn't react badly to all of this. Santana sighed inwardly, knowing that if Rachel didn't hate her for this, Shelby would.

Rachel pursed her lips at the scene and sat back in the booth, crossing her arms over her chest insecurely. She was aware that Santana hadn't yet broken up with Dani, and she wasn't quite sure how this was about to go down.

Dani, not yet seeing anything wrong with the scene (Rachel and Santana lived together, they had dinner together like every night anyways, right?) walked up to their table and asked,

"Hey, what are you doing here, baby?"

Santana's heart thumped wildly and she smiled nervously, looking Dani up and down. She felt so bad for what she was about to do—it wasn't Dani's fault she got caught up in all of this, and she really was innocent. She was one of the best relationships that Santana had ever had. It's just that…now she had Rachel. Rachel!

"Rachel and I were having dinner," she responded truthfully. Sure, it didn't give away why they were having dinner…she knew she had to get to the details eventually but she was stalling for time, still caught completely off guard and unsure what to say.

The brunette across from Santana stayed silent, interested in how all of this was going to turn out and fairly nervous for Santana. Even Santana seemed more nervous than she did at the beginning of the night, and Rachel was pretty sure she wasn't ever going to see that again. She supposed miracles did happen.

Still oblivious to what was going on, Dani smiled sweetly at Rachel. "Hello, Rachel," she always enjoyed spending time with Santana's friends. Even if Rachel could be a little over the top, she was still a pretty cool person.

Rachel gulped, slowly. "Hi, Dani…what are you doing here?"

Santana rolled her eyes at everyone asking what everyone was doing there. It was a fucking diner—what else would they all be doing there?! She shook her head at herself. She was tense and nervous and her palms were all sweaty. She was terrified and she knew she needed to just calm down.

"Just stopping in for dinner after a late gig." Dani shrugged, putting her hands in her pockets.

Rachel, recognizing that Santana needed time to think about how she was going to do this, continued to distract Dani with small talk.

"Oh, cool! Was it a good show?"

The expression Dani gave Rachel told her that it wasn't. "Eh, it was okay…I've had better." Without missing a beat she turned to Santana. "So are we still on for our date Thursday?"

With a sigh, Santana knew she couldn't just put this off anymore. "I think we need to talk about that…"

Finally, realization struck Dani—like a fucking brick smacking her in the forehead. So that was what this is—it wasn't just some friendly dinner between roommates. She figured she should have thought of that right away, because Santana and Rachel could hardly stand each other 90% of the time, why would they just start going to dinner now? But she should have paid more attention to the way Santana looked at Rachel before, because all of a sudden every single tiny little thing that Santana had said or done about Rachel started to make since. She had never truly loved Dani, had she?

"Oh, okay, so now I get it."

Standing hesitantly, Santana put her hands up in a "please calm down" sort of gesture. "Dani, we REALLY need to talk about this, please don't just jump to conclusions—"

Dani threw her hands up in an "I'm done" sort of gesture. "Fine then! Talk!"

"Please just calm down. I…I don't really know how to say it. This isn't your fault. Really, it had nothing to do with you…you just happened to be thrown into the mix of it and I'm sorry. Really…"

Dani sat down to take everything in—it was a lot to take in at once. A minute ago she thought she had a girlfriend, but now she wasn't so sure what Santana was anymore. "So what? We're over?"

With another small sigh, Santana said, "I really am sorry, Dani. But…" she bit her bottom lip and looked over at the small brunette that she could amazingly now call hers. "It's always been Rachel…"

Now it was Dani's turn to sigh. "Honestly? I've known all along. The way you look at her and talk about her…I just didn't want to admit it to you or to myself. It's fine, Santana. I wish you both the best. I was upset earlier because I thought that's what I needed to feel, but it wasn't."

"Really?" Santana was more relieved than she thought she'd ever felt in her life, but worried that Dani hadn't taken it worse than she did. Did that mean something? Girls were so complicated! Santana had expected some sort of fight. She cast a glance at Rachel, who looked just as surprised—apparently she had also been expecting some sort of show down. "You have every right to be mad at me," San added to Dani, almost hoping she would be, so she didn't get attacked when she least expected it.

An amused expression crossed Dani's face and a knot formed in Santana's stomach.

"Oh, don't worry, I am mad. But there's nothing I can do about it. You love who you love, Santana. Who am I to stand in the way of that?"

This made Santana feel even worse. She was completely exhausted tonight—all of these emotions were giving her whiplash. "Dani…I did care about you. I do care about you. It's just…" she looked over at Rachel again, who looked slightly uncomfortable but better than she could've looked. Santana considered herself extremely lucky that the girl hadn't gotten up and just left yet. "She's Rachel. I've liked her since High School. We have this whole history…things are different with her."

"I get it, Santana." Her eyes sparkled and Santana hoped to god that the poor girl wasn't going to cry because she just wasn't sure that any of them would be able to handle it. People who had started to stare when Dani had originally reacted had continued to watch their mini soap opera and she did not want to draw anymore attention. Any other night she would have told them something snarky to make them go away but she couldn't force herself to care about what others thought—not tonight.

"Really, I do get it…and I did love you," Dani continued. "Hell, I still love you. But I understand."

Santana took a deep breath, thankful that things were going so well. "So…are we okay? Because you're my friend, Dani, and I'd really hate it if we never spoke again because of this." She knew she was sort of asking a lot after all she had put her through, but she was hoping that if there was a god above…

Dani took a moment to respond, scaring the hell out of Santana and making her second guess every life decision she had ever made before Dani finally responded, "Yes, Santana." She smiled. "We are fine."

Smiling back from ear to ear, because it seemed like for once in Santana's life things were finally going her way, San hugged Dani back and whispered in her ear, "Thank you. SO much."

From across the table, Rachel smiled as well, happy and thankful that Dani hadn't started at riot and that she and Santana were able to still be friends. Rach knew with some sadness that Dani was one of Santana's only friends in New York, and she would have felt horrible if she was lost for her.

Dani hugged Santana back and said, "All right, ladies. I've got to go! Have a good night, okay?" she paid for her food, winked at the girls, and walked away, humming the same tune she was humming when she walked in the door. Her heart hurt slightly, but she was happy that things had ended now, instead of gotten serious later on and then having Rachel come into the picture.

After Dani had left, Rachel let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, feeling and looking utterly surprised. "Well that was…easy."

"Right?!" Santana said in complete disbelief. The people who were staring lost interest after Dani had left, and she was super thankful that she and Rachel could finish their date in peace.

"But I'm glad she took it so well. So much less drama,"

Santana took Rachel's hand again, missing the feeling. "Yeah, me too."

Rachel grinned from ear to ear, feeling that course of electricity at Santana's touch. It was a feeling she was not yet used to, and she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to it either.

After finishing their dinner and paying, Santana and Rachel's hands never apart, Santana whispered, "So how about that walk now?"

Rach pulled closer to her new girlfriend. It wasn't even awkward to think of her as a girlfriend so early into their relationship. It was a long time coming, really. Girlfriend was almost too weak a word.

They walked down the city sidewalks, the New York streets still busy enough to be loud, but not too busy to not have a private, intimate moment-a walk between two new lovers. They stayed close as a breeze swept across them. It would have chilled anybody else, but they kept each other warm.

"Rachel, I am so sorry I hadn't broken up with Dani before this," Santana admitted guiltily. She still felt horrible for it. She knew it wasn't right.

Pondering her response, Rachel bit her lower lip in thought. Originally she had been a bit upset that Santana hadn't broken up with Dani before. But now she understood why Santana had done it and what was the point of being angry at her for it now? Santana had chosen HER.

"It's okay. I know you weren't expecting to ask me out so suddenly tonight, and I did sort of just throw all of this at you. Admittedly, the song was Shelby's idea. Well, not that particular song, but singing it to you in general..." Rachel realized she was starting to get a little rambly and was thankful that Santana took over the conversation.

"I loved the song, Rachel, even if it was a little sudden. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm so thankful we're together."

Rachel smiled up at Santana, her heart pounding. "I am, too. More than glad."

With an overwhelming feeling of deep emotion, Santana said, in complete honesty, "I love you, Rachel Barbra Berry."

Rachel's heart pounded so hard she was afraid it might fall out of her chest. She came to the realization that what she felt for Santana was so much more than just the crush that she thought it was. She knew in that moment that she was in love with Santana, too. She would die for the girl, she couldn't imagine life without her and all she had ever wanted was to be able to have a relationship with her and now that she did she was finally allowed to say,

"I love you too, Santana Marie Lopez."

With a deep blush forming on her cheeks, Santana pulled Rachel closer, as if it were possible. She had never been so happy in her life, and she thought with great joy that finally, after years and years of disappointment, things had started to go her way.

...

Shelby stomped her foot in protest and followed her girlfriend around the kitchen. Cassandra had started deliberately throwing away any health food she saw that she considered "over the top", which consisted of Shelby's rice cakes. Shelby felt that it was now the last straw.

"Cassie!" she complained, trying desperately to grab a bag from out of Cassandra's hands. Cass carefully shoved Shelby's arms away and threw the bag away anyways. "Stop throwing away all of my healthy food! I agreed to buy junk, but I did not agree to you throwing all of my rice cakes out!"

"Rice cakes. RICE CAKES. Do you HEAR yourself?" Cassandra said, tilting her head back with a laugh as Shelby jumped up onto Cassandra's back and tried to pry the bag of rice cakes from the blonde's grasp. Cass pulled Shelby's legs off of her and Shelby dropped to the floor with a low growl. "I agree that it's good to eat healthy, honey. I'm a DANCE teacher, for god's sake. All i'm saying, C, is that if you keep killing yourself over the small stuff, you're just ADDING more stress to your life. Stress that you definitely don't need."

She wasn't going to bring it up, but at this point she felt it was necessary. So Cass took Shelby lightly by the hands and said softly, "You only eat like this because it's how you were raised."

Cassandra was well aware that now that she said that, Shelby was going to get so defensive she wouldn't be able to talk any sense into her anymore. There was a reason that neither woman's childhood was ever brought up between the two of them-both women hated every part about their past. But Shelby needed to understand what she was doing to herself. She was hard on herself like her parents used to be on her. Cass sighed and watched as Shelby immediately spit back,

"So what if that's how I was raised? We aren't talking about my childhood. I happen to like rice cakes."

So was how things were going to be. If their relationship was going to be different this time around-if it was going to last-they needed to be able to bring this stuff up to each other.

"I know we're not talking about your childhood. We never talk about either of our childhoods and that's how we function." now it was Cassandra's turn to cross her arms over her chest. "The rice cakes are not the point." after saying this she got a new trash bag out and threw another package of rice cakes into it.

"Then what is?" Shelby wondered, pulling the package out of the bag.

Cass knew that this was a better time than ever to say what was on her mind. This "super hard ass self" act that Shelby was putting on needed to stop. For her own good. Maybe no one else saw the pain in Shelby's eyes ever day, but it didn't escape Cassandra's attention every day.

"You don't have to be so hard on yourself or make your life so miserable just because your parents expected excellence and perfection out of everything you did..." She noticed that Shelby had stiffened at the mention of her parents and started occupying herself with putting her rice cakes back in the cupboard, however her voice softened and she continued, carefully. "They're dead, Shelbs...they've been gone for a long time, babe, it's time to let go."

Shelby dropped the bag she was holding and spun around to face Cassandra, her eyes narrowing into a glare. "Low blow." was all she could bring herself to say.

"I'm sorry," Cassandra said truthfully, walking towards Shelby and wrapping her arms around the woman's waist. "I know you don't want to talk about it, Shelby, but you're hurting yourself over things you can't control again and I think this over-healthy eating thing is part of it." her sincere hazel eyes bore into Shelby's green ones, warmly. She just wanted her baby to be okay again.

Shelby shrugged her off and said, "I am not hurting, Cassandra. I just want to be healthy. Hell."

"You can't be perfect all the time, babe. Nobody can. The fact that you aren't isn't going to change anything-certainly not their opinions. They loved you the way that you are, Shelby. As do I. But, babe, they're gone. There is nothing you can do to make them love you more." she continued and tried to keep Shelby's attention but the brunette tried to force herself away. "And you are healthy. MORE than healthy. That's why I'm doing this..."

Shelby refused to listen to Cassandra's point. "I bought junk food for Christ's sake! So I wanted to keep some health options here, sue me." she started to walk away.

"Hey, hey, hey," Cass rushed back towards her and grabbed her by the hands, spinning her around. Shelby's long, gorgeous chocolate locks fell into her eyes as she angrily muttered,

"What? What more could you possibly say?"

"Hey," Cass said again, softly, pressing her face close to Shelby's. Reluctantly, Shelby allowed her to do so. "I'm sorry, Shelby. I know you don't want to talk about it with me and that's fine. I get it. You just needed to hear it, whether you wanted to acknowledge the fact or not. Go ahead and be healthy, okay? Just don't over kill it and don't do it tonight."

Cass placed a soft kiss on Shelby's lips, which Shelby hesitantly reciprocated before Shelby said, "Fine." and she walked to the freezer, getting out the container of Rocky Road ice cream and a spoon and plopping down on the couch.

Sitting down next to Shelby, Cass wrapped an arm around her and opened her mouth, expecting to get a bite. Shelby shook her head as she put the spoon in her mouth. "Go get your own!"

With a protesting glance, Cassandra unwrapped her arm from Shelby's waist and stood, heading towards the kitchen with devilish thoughts. "Love you too, Corcoran..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Shelby rolled her eyes at Cassie's dramatics and took another bite.

Cass swayed her hips as she walked, knowing it would bother Shelby just enough to get her to pay attention. As the blonde's hips moved, so did Shelby's eyes and she watched carefully, aware of Cassandra's displeasure.

With a sigh, Shelby groaned and tilted her head back against the back of the couch. "Come sit back down, Cass," she was already cold from lack of body heat and missed Cassie's touch.

Ignoring her, Cass opened up the fridge and pulled out the cheesecake box. If her hips couldn't get Shelby's attention enough, Cass thought grudgingly, the damn cheesecake definitely would.

"I win a minute," she finally acknowledged Shelby's request.

It was too late though-Shelby had seen her pull out the box. The brunette got up onto her knees on the couch, turning around and craning her neck to see.

"What are you doing?"

Cas shrugged innocently, raising a seductive and teasing eyebrow. "I'm getting my own junk food, like you told me," her voice dared Shelby to stop her. And dare Shelby would.

"Not my cheesecake!" she yelled, figuring out the blonde's evil plans, jumping up and running towards the kitchen. "NO NO NO NO NO!"

Teasingly, and thankful she had Shelby exactly where she wanted her, Cass grabbed a fork, opened the box, and took a bite, waving the fork around and walking backwards with a laugh. "Nuh uh! Go get your ownnnn..."

"But! This is mineee!" Cass took another bite and Shelby's heart broke. "CASSIEEEE!" it wasn't fair! That was the one thing she had actually asked for!

Sighing in amusement, Cassandra put another bite onto the fork and held it out in front of Shelby, who had her mouth open, pleadingly. Cass smirked when Shelby took the bite and practically moaned. She was proud of herself for getting Shelby to drop her professional act around her, even if only for a minute. Shelby then promptly took the fork from Cassandra's hands and took another bite, a small smirk forming on her lips.

"There," Cass said. "Are you happy now? Now that you can have your cheesecake? Do I get some ice cream now?"

Shelby took another bite. "Mmmhmmm…" she handed Cass the ice cream tub.

Knowing she got her way for a small moment in time, Cassandra smirked and kissed the top of Shelby's head before walking back towards the living room. She was starting to figure out how to break down Shelby's wall, like she promised she would. She knew she just had to be creative about it—that it was still very possible.

. . .

Santana laughed excitedly as she pulled Rachel into the apartment. "Your humble abode, milady…"

Rachel laughed back, her grip still tight on Santana's hand. "Well at least walking me home was convenient."

Kurt, who had been waiting in the living room of the apartment reading a book and anxiously anticipating their arrival home, looked up from what he was reading and smiled softly at the exchange.

"I had a great night, Rach," Santana promised her.

"I did too, San. I'm really happy. The happiest I've been in a very long time."

Upon hearing this, Kurt pressed his lips together excitedly and put his book down, expecting an immediate Rachel re-telling. He needed a play by play from his best friend and he needed it now. Especially since the date was with their long time friend AND roommate.

Santana smiled at Rachel's declaration of happiness. It felt good to make her happy instead of upset all the time. She was excited that she didn't have to hide her feelings anymore, and had been contemplating why she felt the need to even hide them to begin with. This was more than she could have ever asked for.

"Well then…I'm glad I could be of assistance." She glanced over at Kurt and couldn't help but enjoy the look on his face, but out of habit, played it off like she couldn't care less about his reaction. "It appears Lady Hummel wants to talk to you, so I am going to call it a night." She placed a soft, lingering kiss on Rachel's cheek. "Good night, Rach."

In that moment, Rachel Berry lost her ability to react to life, even if the kiss was only on the cheek. After a small fluttering in her stomach, Rachel managed to mutter a, "Goodnight, Santana."

With a small smirk of happiness, Santana walked into her "room" of the apartment. After pulling the curtain shut and pulling her privacy partition into place in front of her bed, she changed into shorts and a tank top to sleep in, switched on her laptop, logged in, and got into Skype, IMing Shelby:

**Corcoran, I HAVE to talk to you, get your ass on here, please.**

When Shelby's laptop went off, she and Cass were lying in bed watching a movie. It seemed like a pretty nonproductive and lazy weekend for the two of them, which they were both completely okay with. Cass didn't enjoy the fact that she had to move from her position of laying on Shelby just so Shelby could reach for her laptop, but she eventually did get up, reluctantly. After unlocking her desktop, Shelby read Santana's message and shook her head with a small laugh.

"Cass…Santana needs me. I'm going to call her on Skype. Okay?"

Cassandra clicked the remote to pause the movie—They were watching You've Got Mail—and shifted, hesitantly, into a more comfortable position.

"Um, okay, but…doesn't she hate me?"

"…But she needs me, Cassie. I'm one of her only friends in the world."

Cassandra noticed in an unsettling fashion that Shelby hadn't answered her question, but she agreed all the same, because she knew Shelby was right, "Okayy…"

Shelby clicked the call button and Santana answered it almost immediately, thinking that Shelby had taken way too long to respond to her IM, even though it had only been like thirty seconds.

San spoke as soon as she could see Shelby and Cassandra's faces. She chose to ignore Cassandra and just directed her words towards Shelby when she practically swooned, "Oh my god, your daughter…"

Shelby, finding this a whole new thing for Santana—showing emotion, talking about feelings, (particularly in the presence of Cassandra, a woman she couldn't stand)—very amusing, rolled her eyes and smiled, "What did she do?"

Cass raised an eyebrow and got up to stretch, moving away from the bed and cracking her knuckles and neck before touching her toes. She didn't want this whole thing to be completely awkward, and listening to her student's roommate talk about said student in a lovey fashion did not seem like the type of thing she really wanted to be a part of. Besides that, she had been lying and sitting for way too long, and if she didn't stretch out, she knew she'd have a hard time dancing on Monday. She spun to one side and cracked her back and switched sides before she heard Santana sigh and say,

"Everything right."

Laughing lightly at Santana's lack of detail, Shelby figured she'd have to just bluntly ask a question in able to get any information out of her. She seemed a little too blessed out to even function and with a slight touch of worry she hoped to god that it had just been dinner—that Santana wasn't so blessed out about anything else. She didn't think that San or Rach would too hurriedly rush into this, but as a mother she was still concerned.

"So tell me about the date," she remained calm, trying to shove those kinds of thoughts aside. "How did it go?"

Santana bit her lip and picked up her laptop, taking it over to her bed, before sitting criss cross and talking quietly enough so that only Shelby and Cassandra could hear, but still loud enough so that it was possible to understand what she was saying.

"We walked to this diner that she LOVES and I bought her dinner there…"

"Oh, the one right down from your loft?" Shelby inquired, tilting her head to the side. She didn't think that Santana had even been aware of that diner's existence. She had probably asked Kurt.

"Yeah," Santana nodded, pulling her hair over to one side and fidgeting with it. Shelby could tell she was having post anxiety about the whole thing. It was normal and an interesting emotion to see Santana experiencing. She was tempted to mark the day on the calendar, unsure it would ever happen again.

"Oh, it's a great place," Shelby said.

"It really was. I was surprised by it." Santana smiled a huge smile and Cassandra scoffed. She could practically HEAR the grin on the girl's lips. She spread down into a splits and Shelby gave her a reproachful look, biting her lip, before turning her attention back to Santana. Sometimes Cass could be such a little show off—she got jealous when she wasn't the center of Shelby's world, and Shelby completely understood why, given her past, but Santana needed a girl talk.

"Yeah," Shelby said back to Santana.

After a pause, San admitted, "She took my hand and admitted she was terrified and that she had talked to you,"

Cassandra let out a laugh and Shelby smiled,

"Oh, she did, did she?"

"Yes, and I told her I was nervous to but that she was gorgeous and adorable and things were going to be okay," Santana started braiding her hair at this point, needing something to occupy her hands with. Then she smirked, looking Shelby dead in her eyes, "She also told me that she walked in on you with July. It's called a lock."

Cassandra started laughing so hard she fell out of her warrior position and had to leave the room, doubled over. Shelby was either laughing so hard her face was red or blushing so much that it appeared that way as she stuttered out a, "Well isn't she just a little open book?"

Santana scoffed. "Well it is Rachel, remember?" she laughed back. "Be thankful that was ALL she caught you two doing…." She stared down at her laptop keys for a minute before looking up and saying softly, "Then Dani showed up."

At this, Shelby dropped her jaw. Cassandra made her way back into the room, crawling into bed with Shelby and setting her head in the crook of the brunette's neck with a shiver. She pulled the comforter up over the both of them and Shelby said,

"Santana Marie, PLEASE tell me you had broken up with her BEFORE taking my daughter out."

"Oh shit," Cass commented. Shelby gave her a sideways glance and Cass moved the laptop so that only Shelby was in view of the camera, placing a kiss on Shelby's not-visible-to-Santana shoulder. Shelby didn't stop her, but seeing Santana's lips pressed together so tightly was distracting and not very convincing. She had thought that Santana had had a bit more sense than that. It was not a good start to their relationship, was it?

San took a drink from the glass of water on the desk next to her and avoided the question. Shelby was not about to let her get away so easily. She gave her a few seconds, letting her stall. Finally, she repeated herself.

"Santana?"

"I didn't really have time to—Rach sang "No Day but Today" and my heart melted and I asked her out before I could stop myself…" Santana admitted guiltily.

Shelby took a deep breath. So Rachel had decided on that song? How beautiful.

She supposed that Santana's excuse wasn't a bad one and she decided to just keep the conversation flowing. Cassandra decided she was bored with the conversation and continued to place soft kisses down Shelby's arm—not that Shelby minded.

"So how did that go?" Shelby asked.

"Dani was…mad?" Santana shook her head, just as confused as everybody else. "Well she was at first and then she said she understood, and then she hugged me and then she just left. She said she knew it had always been Rach." After a moments' pause she questioned, "I wasn't SO obvious though, right?"

Shelby shook her head at the young girl's mistake. "You are so lucky it went the way it did, Santana," she said in a warning tone, acknowledging Cassandra's kisses by caressing the blonde's head softly with her free hand. Cass took this as a good enough acknowledgement and stopped, simply leaning into Shelby and letting her talk. "And yes," she answered Santana's last question. "It was pretty obvious."

"I know, I know, it could have been SO much worse and the last thing I wanted to do was start a fight in front of Rachel…if it was so obvious then why didn't she notice any sooner?" she unbraided her hair for the third time and just let it be.

"She didn't want to believe it," Shelby shook her head slowly. "Just like you didn't."

Cass sat up in protest at Santana's statement. "What the hell do you mean you didn't want to fight in front of Rachel?! Who was the one who called me out for "sleeping" with her?!" she used her fingers to show the quotations.

Quietly, Santana said almost shyly, rolling her eyes, "That was different."

"Cassie, not now," Shelby scolded softly.

With a growl, Cass crossed her arms and leaned back against the bed frame. Why did Shelby always take Santana's side? Santana wasn't her girlfriend!

Seeing that she had upset Cassandra and realizing it was the last thing she wanted to do, Shelby rubbed Cassie's arm. "Can we just agree to drop this whole fighting not fighting thing?"

Sighing, Cassandra answered, "For you, I suppose."

"Thank you, baby." She turned back to Santana, "So San, what's next? Have you guys talked since you've been home?" she was anxious to know how Rachel felt the date went, but odds are she was already talking to Kurt about it and Shelby wouldn't get to talk to Rach again unless she sought the girl out.

Santana took another drink of water, her stomach still in knots. "Um, yeah we talked a bit…Don't go rushing into things just because I'm with your daughter, Shelby. I don't know the future."

Taken aback, Shelby said, "I know this, San. I know."

Santana was always one to rush into things, Shelby thought. Maybe Rachel really was different.

"But apart from the Dani thing, I had a nice time, and Rachel seems to have had a good time, too."

Cass pulled the computer her way so that the camera had view of both she and Shelby before getting in on the conversation. She didn't care if Santana didn't like her—neither did Schwimmer, but that never stopped her before.

"Did you kiss her?"

Stuttering, Santana couldn't respond. The thought of kissing Rachel still seemed years away, no matter how long she had thought or dreamed about it.

"Cass!" Shelby laughed, nudging her girlfriend. She realized that she was probably going to start treating Santana the same way she treated Rachel, but that meant that she was warming up to her. Cassandra really did like Rachel, after all—she was just hard on her because that's how Cassandra July worked. Shelby stared at Santana, waiting for an answer.

Finally, San managed a, "I..No, I didn't kiss her. So you can get your panties out of a bunch, Shelbs."

"Calm down, San," Shelby didn't want her getting defensive.

"I am calm!"

"Okay…" she wasn't going to argue.

"I should probably go…let you two love birds alone and what-not…get some sleep."

Cass snorted. "Huh. "Sleep". Right."

Santana blushed at Cassandra's accusation. "I'm serious about going to sleep!" she didn't like the way Cassandra unnerved her—almost like the way that Shelby did, only Shelby was more motherly about it, and Cassandra was more authoritative.

Cassandra shrugged. "Whatever you say," she raised a taunting eyebrow and Santana figured out why Rachel got so irritated with Cass so quickly. It wasn't hard.

"Goodnight, San," Shelby ignored Cassandra's teasing. "I love you, and I am happy for you. Just be good to my daughter."

Growling at Cass, San answered, "Good night, Shelby, and thanks. I'm happy too, and have I ever not been—" she stopped herself, because she couldn't say that—she HAD been horrible to Rachel. "I'll be good to Rachel." With a final glare at the blonde sitting next to Shelby—it was not going to be easy getting used to seeing her all the time. She shut her laptop and set it off to the side, wrapping herself in her blanket and staring at the wall in front of her, thinking about a little bit of everything.

. . .

Kurt wrapped his arms around Rachel in an excited hug and pulled her over to the couch. They could hear Santana talking to Shelby in her "room", but they couldn't make out what she was actually saying. That was probably for the best.

"So tell me everything, Diva!" he bounced up and down on the couch like an excited seven year old.

Rachel laughed at his excitement. "Haha, calm down, calm down. There isn't much to tell…not really. Dani showed up and Santana broke up with her. We had dinner, we walked around the city together, and we came home. She…she told me she loves me." She looked down at her hands and smiled like a fool.

His mind was running a million miles a water trying to catch up to Rachel. Finally he managed to stop her and say, "WHAT?! Hold on. Dani showed up?! Santana said she loves you?!"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Yes, pay attention," she giggled.

"Holy mother of Streisand!"

"I know!" Rachel beamed. "I know. It's amazing, isn't it?"

Nodding, Kurt said, crossing his legs underneath him, "So did you tell her you loved her back?!"

Rachel nodded slowly, looking up at Kurt as she grinned.

"Well…damn. I am happy for you, Rach." Kurt was so happy he felt like he was about to burst with excitement. It was about time these two got together. He hadn't known that Rachel liked Santana, but San liking Rachel was way too obvious.

"Thank you, Kurt. I'm so happy. I can't even…it's just too incredible. It's too amazing to be true."

And it seemed that way. It really did.


	10. Trust

**A/N: A SUPER long chapter to make up for all the time we made you wait! We're so sorry it took this long! Hopefully that won't happen again. I was super busy with the end of school and final exams and Defygravity09 just got back from a vacation and has work and what-not. We hope now to have more time to write again, because we've really REALLY missed it. We hope you like this chapter because we worked very hard on it and had a lot of fun with it! **

**We also want to apologize in advance-it was a very long chapter and we do go through and edit it but some things get overlooked or missed, so if there are a lot of grammatical mistakes, we're sorry!**

**Tell us what you think! **

**xo, Hayleynymphadora and Defygravity09**

* * *

Chapter 10: Trust

Cassandra woke up ready to kill somebody. It was four in the morning—four in the fucking morning—and her head had woken up her up five times already. They had fallen asleep around midnight. Five times in four hours was just too much to handle. She felt like her head was ready to explode. She thought she was going to be sick. Her throat physically burned for the thing she hadn't been allowed to have in days. DAYS. She couldn't do it. She loved Shelby—God did she love the woman so much—but she couldn't put up with this anymore. She simply wasn't strong enough.

She got out of bed and left the room, pacing the living room heatedly.

_No,_ she told herself heatedly. _No, you will NOT give up on this, Cassandra July. Shelby's doing it because she loves you. You're doing it because you love her. You have to stop. You have no reason to drink anymore. Shelby's back. She's here to stay._

_But what if she leaves again? Face it, July. One drink won't hurt._

_She trusts you!_

_Can you still trust her? After everything that's happened?_

_Yes! You can and you do! You can't do it!_

_You have to do it. Another day will finish you. If the drinking won't drive her away, your aggressiveness definitely will. Drink the damn alcohol. DO IT._

Her mind argued with her for god only knows how long until finally the sun started to rise, beams of light shed through the window and onto her, making her head spin; making her squint her eyes in disgust. Why was it always so bright in the mornings? Who the hell gave the sun permission to make her headache worse?

That was it.

She turned to see if Shelby was behind her—she wasn't. But she knew she only had a bit of time before Shelby woke. This would maybe even be a good thing, Cass thought, because then she wouldn't have enough time to drink more than one.

Just one. It was all she needed. Just a pick-me-up. It wasn't that much of a set-back. This is what she tried to convince herself with as she pulled herself up onto the kitchen counter and started searching Shelby's cupboards for any kind of alcohol—vodka, in particular, would be fantastic. She found it after what seemed like ages and went to pull the bottle out.

Shelby woke up before she could even open it.

The brunette stood, stretching. She had been shocked and admittedly upset that Cassie wasn't greeting her in bed in the morning. She wondered what the blonde was doing up so early, especially on a Sunday. It was the last day of the weekend and she knew how much Cass detested waking up for classes all week—she usually used to weekend to relax.

Cautiously, Shelby walked out of the bedroom and down the hallway. "Cass?" she called through the halls and got no response. She was hoping to god that Cassie hadn't left. They had one more day to spend with each other before they both had work to do all week. She was amazed that their schedules were open enough for even weekend time periods. "Cassie?" she would have left a note if she was going to leave…right?

Hearing Shelby's innocent "I just woke up but I'm still sexy as hell" voice, Cass winced and set the bottle back down, trying not to slam the cupboard shut as she slid off of the counter just in time for Shelby to walk into the kitchen. Shelby had heard the cupboard shut and smiled at the fact that Cassie was still in her apartment. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that they were back together again.

"Hey baby," Shelby was completely oblivious, making Cassandra feel extra super guilty and like she could pound her head against the wall for almost disappointing the wonderful and beautiful woman that stood in front of her. "How long have you been up?" Shelby asked.

With a stretch, Cassandra muttered, "An hour…three…five…" and she rubbed her eyes and head ferociously. Why wouldn't the pain and pressure just go away? Why did the ghosts of her past insist on haunting her when life was just getting so much better again? Couldn't she just let the past go? Apparently it was a task easier said than done.

Shelby raised an eyebrow. It was interesting that Cassandra was either trying to hide how long she had been awake or really wasn't sure. Neither one seemed very promising. "Those are huge time gaps," she dead panned. "What's going on?"

Of course Shelby never beat around the bush. She hid it straight on. With passion.

"I can't sleep," Cassandra confessed, running her shaking hands through her long, wavy, knotted hair and pulling it up into a pony tail. "I can't do it, and I can't sit still."

Shelby sighed, understanding that Cass was going through withdrawals. She knew it had to be difficult, and was frankly amazed that Cassie had made it this long without a drink. She thought about it some more and mentally smacked her head. Of course—why had she been so stupid? Of course Cassandra was trying to get to her alcohol stash when Shelby had walked in. Or she was just putting it back, but judging from the sweat dripping down Cassandra's forehead and the fact that she couldn't sit still, or sleep, and she seemed super on edge, made Shelby believe that Cassandra hadn't actually in fact made it to the alcohol. Shelby had woken up at an opportune time, apparently.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa baby…what's wrong?" she tried to pull Cassie close, wanting her to try to talk it out instead of immediately rushing to the alcohol to solve her problems. She knew she was treading on thin ice.

Cassandra stiffened at Shelby's touch and Shelby knew that things were really bad. "I need it, Shelby. I need a drink. I have to have it."

Cass felt rotten for saying it, she really did. But it just couldn't be avoided anymore. Shelby just didn't understand.

"No." Shelby got stern, backing up a bit and shaking her head, taking Cass firmly by the hands. "You're doing great, baby, why give up now?"

"I'm doing horrible!" Cassandra barked out, almost at a bitter laugh. "I can't focus! I can't sleep! I feel constantly nauseous, I can't do it, Shelby!"

"Yes, you can, and I will help you," Shelby kissed her cheek, her lips lingering. It relaxed Cassandra for a moment.

It really was a shame that moments couldn't last forever.

"You can't expect me to on like this! How am I supposed to teach?" she questioned, leaning against the counter for support and holding her head in her hands.

Shelby hadn't thought about that, those poor students. Her poor Rachel…

"I don't know," the question had actually taken her off guard to the point where she couldn't respond for the first time in a long time. "But we'll figure it out together."

Shaking, because she was tired of being a disappointment to everyone around her, because she was afraid Shelby was going to leave again, because she didn't know what to do and she was vulnerable for the first time since Shelby left, Cassandra said, "I—Shelby, I can't—"

Slowly, Shelby took Cass into the living room, sitting her down on the couch. But the woman smelled too familiarly like the "new" Cassie—the one who had locked herself away in isolation and drank herself into oblivion. "Baby, what's that smell?" Shelby dared. "Is that…" Shelby stood up and accused, "Whiskey?!"

"No!" Cassandra WISHED it was whiskey. That would mean she had actually gotten to open the bottle before Shelby walked in on her.

Shelby knew inside that Cass hadn't been drinking. She didn't smell whiskey, either. But this was quite possibly the only way to get the woman to talk—when she was defensive.

"Then what is it?!" Shelby continued.

"It's…Shelby, baby, I didn't drink any of it I swear—"

Shelby placed her hands on her hips in the "Cassandra July don't you DARE think of lying to me" way and Cassandra finally broke.

"I can't do it! You don't understand! You've never understood!" Cassandra stood up and yelled.

Oh so that's what this was all about? Shelby was astounded. Of COURSE she didn't understand. She had never been an alcoholic. She had never been as isolated as Cass ever made herself, even if she did come pretty damn close. But she had always ALWAYS made an effort to at least attempt to understand, for Cassie.

"I'M TRYING!" she insisted.

Cass put her hands in her hair and Shelby worried the poor woman might actually succeed on yanking it out. "YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TH ROUGH IT, SHELBY!"

Shelby took a step back, her heart pounding and shattering. Cassandra was right; maybe she hadn't been trying hard enough. Maybe there was more to this than Shelby had realized. How narcissistic of her to think that Cass had only started drinking because she left. There had to be more factors involved, right?

She took a step forward, cautiously. "Then help me to, Cassie." She said, her voice pained.

Cass looked into Shelby's scared green eyes, frantically. Her head was throbbing, her mind about to be lost, and her gut tightening. Never had she been so afraid in her life. She couldn't stand this feeling and wanted to blame Shelby—GOD did she want to blame Shelby for doing this to her. She didn't have feelings for anything until Shelby came back into her life. Without Shelby, she knew how to keep her emotions in check. But with Shelby…

"I don't know how!" she broke down into frustrated and nervous sobs, for she hadn't the will to hold them back any longer. She let herself be pulled into Shelby's embrace and cried into the woman's chest; sobs that shook her whole body and made her chest hurt as she tried to get a breath in and could barely manage.

"Okay... It's okay, baby, try to breathe," Shelby rubbed Cassandra's back softly, making soft circle patterns with her nails, the way she knew Cassie liked it. She held her tightly, helping her to let go of all of the pain and hurt she had been going through. Shelby knew she had to give the woman a break. She reminded herself, with serious agony, that just because she was raised to be stone cold and perfect, doesn't mean she had to instill that upon other people. She knew now, much later on in life, that mistakes had to be made before things could be fixed—that things always had to get worse before they ever got better. "Okay, Cassie," she sighed heavily. "One drink."

Sniffling, Cassandra opened her eyes—they widened to the size of softballs, so it felt. Was Shelby for real? Or was she just testing her? To see if she would so easily give in and fuck everything up all over again?

"…Really?" she sniffed again and looked up at Shelby, testing the waters.

"Yes." Shelby felt defeated but what else could she do? Cass couldn't live like this, and neither could Shelby. Cass was doing the absolute best she could do to please her, and that was really all she could ever ask. She remembered how badly she despised her parents for pushing her into things she knew she wasn't capable of doing. She recalled how many times she broke before she managed to get out…before they died.

Cassandra immediately recognized Shelby's sense of defeat—how she knew the brunette detested the feeling. "Shelby, baby, I…the last thing I want to do is hurt you, it's just that—"

"I know, Cassie. Go, before I change my mind."

Wiping a last tear, Cassandra moved away from Shelby and headed rather quickly towards the cupboard in the kitchen that contained the "hidden" whiskey bottle. As she uncapped it, she inhaled in desire. She felt better already just smelling it. How she would miss it again, once it was reclaimed.

Shelby remained on the couch as her girlfriend went, unable to fathom watching it take place. She had been sober for days…and now she was back to square one.

She took slow, calming breaths. It was a work in progress, she told herself. Eventually things would get better.

Cassandra tried to sip it slowly and savor it, aware this situation was rare—a delicacy; but try as she might she couldn't. It tasted amazing but it helped only a little—she knew it wouldn't last, and it wasn't nearly as good a feeling as being completely drunk, but she considered herself extremely lucky and took what she was able to get. After finishing her glass, guiltily, she made her way back out to Shelby. True, she had made herself feel better for a minute, but at what cost? If she was going to lose Shelby over this, she knew it wasn't worth it. She just had to figure out how to get rid of it completely—what Shelby didn't understand was the fact that it couldn't be done cold turkey; not with Cassandra July. Everything had to be taken in steps. Baby steps.

Shelby rolled her eyes at Cassandra as the blonde slowly, hesitantly walked towards her. She understood why Cassandra felt the need to drink, that didn't mean she was happy with the addiction. It wasn't healthy. Not in the slightest. And if Shelby had anything to do with it, it WOULD stop.

"Please don't roll your eyes at me, baby." Cassandra pleaded, sitting so close to Shelby she was practically on the brunette's lap. Shelby willed her body not to react. That didn't mean her body listened. Cass wrapped her legs around Shelby's waist, facing her. Shelby unintentionally blushed—Cassandra's touch had always been one of her few weaknesses. Along with Cassandra's everything—look, sound, feel, smell…

Oh, but her touch…

"I can make it up to you," Cassandra said. For the first time ever, she didn't say it seductively. There was no tone of flirtation in her voice. There was no "sex will make this all better" implication at all. She sounded so genuine—sincerely sorry—that it caught Shelby completely off guard. She managed to stammer a,

"How?"

After contemplating it, Cassandra gave a widespread grin. She knew just the thing to fix them. It had always worked before. It was romantic. It was a place they shared together—some place better than the bridge. It had always been their favorite. So many memories had taken place there. It would make them feel like love-struck teenagers all over again.

"I'll take you to the best place in the whole world," Cass was vague, not wanting to ruin the surprise. "If you go get ready right now, we can spend all day there…"

Shelby told herself she wouldn't give in. Outwardly, she didn't. On the inside, she had already melted, thinking of a few spots that Cassie could have in mind. "No. I'm not going anywhere with you like this." She stayed stoic.

"Like what?" Cass protested. "I'm not drunk, babe, I promise it takes way more than one glass to take down Cassandra July," she winced at her own remark, almost 100% positive that was the exact WRONG thing to say. She tried again. "Please, baby, you'll love it. It'll fix us."

"Are we broken, Cassie?" Shelby asked in a soft voice. Her tone broke Cassandra's heart. Why, oh why, did Shelby always have this effect on her? Why was Shelby the only thing—the only being—who could break the walls of hard-ass-July and make her feel so human? So real? So living?

"Of course not…"

"But we need fixing?" Shelby asked the question against her better judgment—she already knew the answer. Of course they needed fixing. They needed strengthening. Their love to be recaptured all over again—for things to be like they were before.

"Please, Shelby."

Shelby thought for a moment. "Please what, Cassie?"

After a sigh, Cass continued, taking Shelby's shoulders with her hands. "Please, just come with me. We can be US again. Isn't that what you want?"

Shelby's beautiful green eyes sparkled with a glimmer of hope as she answered, "Yes. More than anything."

Placing a soft, lingering kiss on Shelby's temple, Cass smiled, "Go get ready for me?"

"Sure." They both got up and Shelby went to her bedroom to get dressed.

As an afterthought, Cassandra called after her, "Something you don't mind getting wet!" immediately, she cringed at her own wording. There was no way to tell her to put on a bathing suit without giving up where they were going. "Fuck it. We're going to the beach, baby."

From the bedroom, Shelby laughed until she choked. "Nice one, Cass."

Cassie laughed with her, because it was kind of funny. "Oh, shut up, you." She went into Shelby's bedroom (because she had to be dressed by now, right? And even if she wasn't, Cass certainly didn't mind…) and looked around for something of Shelby's she could put on. She didn't want to go all the way home to put on her own clothes. However as she did this, she did realize she hadn't been home all weekend, and would have to go back that night so she could teach the next day. After a bit of drawer digging, she discovered a simple black bikini, ripped jean shorts, and a see through white t shirt. She stripped and put the items on while Shelby was in the bathroom fixing her hair.

Her lover walked back into the room wearing a pair of blue jean shorts and a purple tank top. Cass gave Shelby another sigh, "Please tell me you're wearing a bathing suit on under that?"

Shelby laughed. "Duh, but I'm not going to wear JUST a bathing suit."

"I was just making sure…" Cass threw her hands up in the official, "I'm innocent" gesture.

"Okay, so let's go," Shelby was having a hard time containing her excitement. It had been a long LONG time since she and Cassie had gone to the beach. She missed the old duo that they used to be.

Obeying, Cass walked out to the living room, towards the front door, and grabbed the keys off of the hook, absentmindedly taking Shelby's hand as they headed out the door and towards the parking garage down the street to retrieve Shelby's car. As she started to drive, Cass pulled her sunglasses up and sat them on top of her head, casting a glance at Shelby, who was staring out her window. After a spell of silence, Shelby had to ask,

"So why the beach?"

She wasn't entirely sure why she had asked—she knew what the answer would be. Perhaps it was just for verification. To remind herself that Cassie remembers just as well as she does—that their incredible first relationship wasn't just a dream.

Fumbling for words, Cass couldn't answer right away. She wanted to word this correctly, but knew she probably wouldn't be able to say exactly what she wanted to—Shelby was the one who always sounded like an English major. There was a specific reason why she chose the beach, but she wasn't sure she wanted to just bluntly come out and say it. Surely Shelby remembered, right?

"We always loved the beach…it was our escape. We always had the most fun there. Where we ran to…even when we weren't supposed to." She hoped it was enough of a hint for Shelby to not ask again. They were about to make things better, and Cass didn't want to toy with dark waters. Not right now.

Shelby smiled at the memories of running off to the beach with Cassandra. There were numerous times they did so. Her heart leapt and she reached over to grab Cassie's hand. Cass squeezed Shelby's hand once Shelby took it and smiled warmly, continuing.

"Nobody could ever stop us from going there, you remember? They managed to find us anywhere else, but not the beach. Never the beach. It was our only solitude."

"Yeah," Shelby whispered softly. "I remember."

A cool breeze blew through Cassie's window, sweeping her long blonde hair to the side and in front of her face. Since she sort of needed her eyes to see the road, she rolled the window up. Shelby, meanwhile, stayed quiet; her legs pulled up to her chest, her eyes focusing on her knees.

"Why so silent, Shelbs?"

"Just thinking," Shelby said softly.

It melted Cassandra's heart, for Shelby to be like this. It was rare that the woman ever looked or acted so…vulnerable…so…breakable. But it was also one of Cassandra's favorite things about their relationship—the fact that she was the only one who could make Shelby's wall come crashing down made her feel so special—like they might actually be able to make this work again.

"What are you thinking about?"

After another pause, "You. Me. Us."

"Only good thoughts, I would hope?" Cass smiled at her, teasingly—it was something Cass often did when she was nervous.

Shelby's voice almost broke as she spoke next, "I'm just scared."

Cassandra's chest tightened; she couldn't get a full breath in. "Of what, baby?"

Shelby forced her eyes away from her knees and looked up towards Cass, who took her eyes off of the road for one second just to see Shelby's face. "Us not working this time. You relapsing."

Averting her gaze, Cass refocused towards the road, her hand clenching against the steering wheel, and her jaw clenching upon hearing that word. _Relapsing._

Slowly, she relaxed her hand on the steering wheel and took a couple of deep breaths. "It was one slip up, Shelby…"

Shelby cursed herself inwardly for bringing it up. Especially now, when they were trying to recapture their love, of all times. She decided she should probably just drop it, for now. "I know, but you can't blame me for worrying, Cass."

"I know."

Recognizing the slight hardness in her tone, Shelby whispered, "I'm so sorry, baby."

"For what, Shelbs?" Cass turned her neck to the side, stretching tightened muscles.

"Not trusting you."

It took a moment for Cassandra to think of a response. Finally, she asked, "Do you still? Not trust me, I mean…"

Knowing that she wouldn't like her answer, Shelby spoke anyways. Relationships were built on honesty. "I'm trying."

"And I suppose that's all I deserve," Cass took it like the hard ass that she was always trying to be. And it broke Shelby's heart.

"No, it isn't. You're amazing, Cass. You deserve more than me—someone who can't let go of the past."

"Stop it, Shelbs," Cassandra didn't want to do this right now, and from her tone of voice, Shelby could tell. "I love YOU. Not anybody else. I don't WANT anybody else. And you're more than I deserve."

It hurt Shelby to know that—that Cassandra didn't think herself deserving. She would change that line of thinking somehow, someday. But for now she just said, "Okay." She smiled and looked out the window before whispering, "I love you too. So much."

Cass squeezed her hand again, in reciprocation. "We're almost there," she changed the subject and immediately saw Shelby's change of character. Shelbs was starting to get antsy. Like a little kid on Christmas morning.

Laughing lightly, Cass was inwardly just as excited. But someone had to be the common ground of relaxation, right? She wasn't sure how long that poise would hold out, with Shelby as excited as she was. It was so unlike the new-er Shelby that Cass had reluctantly grown so used to seeing. She was acting so much more like she used to—the fun-loving, risk-taking, "I'll love you with all the passion I can possibly give" Shelby that Cassandra had fallen in love with to begin with. It was exhilarating.

They pulled into the parking lot and Shelby squealed upon spying the ocean. She knew exactly where they were—not just any beach, but THEIR beach. More importantly, their CAVE on the beach. It was the best place Cass could've taken her today. It was their place.

Cassandra grinned broadly at Shelby's reaction—she had been hoping for something like this. "Welcome home."

"Oh, Cassie!"

"So you like it?" Cass teased. "Because we can always go somewhere else…"

"No!" Shelby practically screamed. "Get out! Let's go!"

With a laugh, Cass tried to unbuckle as fast as Shelby was pulling her out the door. "Shelbs, you can't pull me out THAT door!"

"Watch me!" Shelby continued to try to pull her out the passenger side door, and, giving in, Cass let her body be dragged across the car, over the seats, and into Shelby's arms on the outside of her door. Shelby laughed, crazily, missing this feeling of excitement. Missing this lovesick feeling.

Cass laughed with her. "Calm down, psycho!" but she grinned from ear to ear, missing this. Cherishing this. Loving this.

"Fine!" Shelby broke free from Cass and ran towards the ocean, splashing into the water. It was cold but refreshing—she didn't care how cold it was; Cass would keep her warm.

Cass broke into a run after Shelby, chasing her. "Wait for me!" they had the beach to themselves, just like old times (probably, Cass rationalized, because no one else was insane enough to head to the beach on such a windy Sunday, particularly not at seven in the morning). She caught up to Shelby and grabbed her by the waist, lifting her into the air and spinning her around. Shelby wrapped her legs around Cassie's waist and Cassie ignored the cold wind. _Love makes you insane._

Shelby laid her head on Cassie's shoulder, whispering into her neck, "Thank you."

Amazing shivers ran up Cassandra's back at the feeling of Shelby's lips and hot breath against her neck. It was a feeling she had longed to feel for a long time. "Of course," she placed a soft kiss on Shelby's cheek and started walking them out deeper.

"Not too deep, Cass," Shelby tightened her legs' grip on Cass's waist and Cass sucked in a breath at the feeling. "You know I'm scared of the ocean."

Cass wrapped her arms more tightly around Shelby, the water making their skin slippery. She refused to let Shelby dropped. She remembered all too well how afraid Shelby was of deep water—the woman couldn't swim, because she was never taught and never truly trusted Cass enough to let her teach her. Maybe "trust" wasn't the issue. It truly was fear of falling that held Shelby back.

"Hey," Cassie whispered, lovingly, softly, continuing to walk out. "I've got you, okay? You're safe. I promise."

Shelby's voice was a bit shaky as she answered, "Okay," tightening her grip some more, as if it were possible. Cassandra didn't mind the woman's closeness.

"Trust me," she said, walking until it was up to her neck.

A light wave hit the back of Shelby's head and she tensed up, pressing her body so close to Cassandra's that she could feel her stomach move with her heavy breathing.

"Hey, hey," Cass held her tighter, adjusting her grip so there was no room for Shelby to slip. "Calm down, okay? Trust me. Nothing can hurt you. You won't fall."

"Okay. I trust you."

Based on her shakiness, it was hard to believe.

"So relax your body," Cassandra coached. "It'll help you float."

Shelby's eyes widened. "I don't have to float if you're holding on to me."

"I'm not going to let go of you, baby. Just relax. Take a deep breath."

"I'm trying."

Cass laughed lightly, "I know." She placed a soft, comforting kiss on Shelby's lips. "I know."

Finally, Shelby slowly started to relax. Cassie could feel Shelby's breathing starting to slow, and Shelby's grip turned lax, slightly.

"That's better." A wave made them bob up and down.

With a smile, Shelby said, "Put me down, baby."

This was a quick adjustment, and Cass was hesitant to do so. She hadn't actually taught Shelby to swim—wasn't she getting a little ahead of herself? Cassie smiled back. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Yeah," Shelby coaxed. "Let me try."

Slowly, reluctantly, Cassandra released her hold on her.

At first Shelby did fine, sticking close to Cass just in case. Cass watched her carefully, ready to grab her if she faltered.

"See, I can—"a wave came and took Shelby under. Immediately, with flash reflexes, Cassandra swooped under the water and grabbed Shelby so that she's scooped her up into her arms and pulls her back towards where it easier to touch, surfacing.

Coughing, Shelby giggled. "See? I'm good, baby."

Cassandra couldn't help but laugh. "Mmmhmm."

So Shelby had needed saving—it didn't bother her if Cassie was the one saving her. Cass was the only one she ever let help her. Because usually, Shelby Corcoran wasn't one to ask for help.

"Can we go to our cave?" Shelby spied it from across the sand.

"Of course we can." She waded water until it was up to her waist and let Shelby down.

As they walked, Shelby excited grabbed Cassie's hand. They made it up the sand; it stuck to their wet feet and Shelby wiggled her toes in it, burrowing them down with each step. She had missed the feeling of it.

They entered their cave; a sort of small cavern where some of the water ran in.

"Look, Cassie! Our chairs are still here!" There was a small stream of water still flowing through the middle, where two "chairs" made of rocks were set up beside said stream. They had made them ages ago. Cassandra cast a glance towards the back "wall", where their initials were still carved into the stone.

SC+CJ encased in a heart.

_We were so very original,_ Cass smirked to herself at the memory.

"Oh my god," but she was still breathless at how it was exactly the way they left it, so many years ago.

Tears pricked at Shelby's eyes. "I love you, Cassie."

Tears formed in Cassandra's but she refused to let them fall. "I love you too, Shelby. So very much."

Shelby wrapped her arms around Cassie's waist, and Cass placed her hands over Shelby's, feeling an immense comfort that she never wanted to let go of, and feeling extremely guilty to ever disappointing the woman now holding her so closely.

The brunette turned her blonde lover around to face her. "I trust you. I do." She promised. A tear fell from Cassie's eyes, slipping down her cheek.

"Do you? Should you?" she thought of all the times she had made things worse—all the fights she had started, all the pain she had caused.

"I do and I should." Shelby said, fiercely.

But that wasn't an answer that Cassandra could take—not with this guilt eating at her. Why should Shelby trust her? Hell, she had even slipped and drank this morning. What sort of trust exercise is that?

"After everything I've done? The trouble and pain I've caused you? The times I've ruined us?"

Shelby didn't hesitate. "Yes, but you're trying now, right?"

"Well, yes, but I was trying before, too. I've ruined so much, Shelby. Your relationship with your parents…your ability to ever trust me again…your relationship with Rachel…"

Shaking her head in confusion, Shelby said, "Rachel and I are fine."

Cass started shaking her head immediately back. "You two fight because of me." She reminded her.

Shelby let her fingers trail up Cassie's shirt and make circles on her bare stomach. "But we're okay, Cass."

Mumbling, Cass responded, "That wasn't my point…"

Having about enough of the incredible woman in her arms beating herself up, Shelby spun her around so their bodies were pressed together and grabbed Cassandra's face, sternly.

"Look at me. I LOVE you. I trust you. The past is the past. It's time to look into the future."

Completely taken aback by Shelby's sudden forwardness, Cass whispered, "And what does our future look like?"

Shelby's eyes widened—she obviously hadn't thought that far ahead. "I don't know. But it's going to be better than our past."

"Okay."

"I promise." She placed a soft kiss on Cass's lips.

"I believe you."

"Okay, good," Shelby gave a warm smile. "I love you." A chill ran down Shelby's body, making her shiver to the core (which Cass also felt, considering they were so close), as the sky grew darker and clouds rolled in. "Let's go home, baby…"

"Okay," She held Shelby close as they walked back to the car, hand in hand, the wind whipping their hair and getting stronger. Once they were back at Shelby's car, Shelby's phone went off in the passenger seat.

She opened the door and answered; it was Rachel.

"Hello?"

"MOM OH MY GOD YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT," Rachel was being so loud that it startled Shelby, and she had to hold her phone away from her ear, her eyes wide. Once Rachel was done yelling, Shelby spoke into the cell,

"Calm down, Rach. What did you find out?"

"St. James Theatre is doing a revival of Funny Girl and auditions are in two weeks!" Shelby could practically see the nervous and crazed grin on her daughter's face. Shelby couldn't help but smile as well.

"That's awesome! Are you going to try out?"

"I have to! It's my big chance. Santana's going to help me work on my audition after I get off the phone… what do you think I should sing?"

Shelby knew what Rachel was thinking; the young girl didn't have to say it—but it was the worst idea in the world and had to be stopped immediately.

"Not Barbra." She answered without hesitation.

"What?! Why?!"

"Because, you can't audition for a Barbra role with Barbra! It's just wrong."

"HOW is that wrong?" Rachel sounded incredulous and…did Shelby dare think…angry?

Shelby switched the phone to her other ear. "It just is, trust me. They're not looking for someone to be Barbra. They're looking for someone fresh. New. Unique."

"Well then fine," Rachel huffed and Shelby scowled. Why was her daughter being so difficult?! "I'll talk to you later, kay?"

Um…No! Not "kay"!

Shelby called her out. "Don't be defensive, Rach…"

"I'm not being defensive!" Rachel said in a completely defensive-sounding voice. "We're shopping for sheet music."

Santana called into the phone from the background. "She's totally being defensive. Just stomped towards the Babs section and put it all back."

Cass rolled her eyes and smiled at this, saying to Shelby, "Hey, tell your daughter that her FAVORITE dance teacher says hi."

With an eye roll Shelby said, "Rach, Cassie says hi."

Rachel scoffed and stopped by the "Big-Hit Broadway Numbers" section, sifting through some of her favorites that she didn't already have. "I seriously doubt that,"

She had an attitude today, and Shelby was getting really sick of it. All because she said no Barbra? Well if Rachel wanted to fuck up her audition with Barbra songs then fine! So be it! But the attitude wasn't going to get her anywhere.

"She did, Rach. What is wrong with you?" Shelby demanded tiredly.

Rach came back immediately. "What is wrong with ME?! She can't stand me, mom, I doubt she said hi. If at all it was because she's dating _you_. It doesn't matter, I have to go, okay? I love you."  
Exhausted already even though the day had just begun, Shelby decided to drop it for now. She'd deal with this feud later. "Fine. I love you too."

After Rachel hung up, Shelby did as well and was greeted by a wide-eyed Cassandra. "What's her problem?"

Sighing, Shelby shrugged. "I don't know. She got mad because I told her not to audition with Barbra."

_Typical drama queen, Schwimmer._

"She'll get over it. What's she auditioning for?"

"Funny Girl revival…" Shelby mumbled.

"Ooh. Fancy. Maybe you should audition, too."

"Oh, no."

Cass was baffled by her instant decline. Shelby _adored_ Funny Girl; a fact that Cassandra knew very well after all the times she was forced to watch it with her. If she was dissing an opportunity like THIS it had better be for a good reason. "What? Why?!" she walked towards Shelby and felt her forehead to check for fever.

"I'm too old to be Fanny," Shelby pushed Cass's hand away with a light giggle. "Plus, this is Rachel's thing. I don't want to overstep any boundaries, as you can see we already appear to be on thin ice as it is…"

"Pft. Boundaries shmoundaries. You were born to play Brice, Shelbs. At least audition—it doesn't mean you have to take the part. Besides, you are NOT too old," she playfully smacked the brunette's ass and Shelby jumped at the contact, but didn't seem to complain about it. "You're not too old for _anything_," she added suggestively.

Shelby shook her head. "Still, no."

"Ugh," Cass tilted her head back dramatically. "You won't even _consider_ it?!"

"No, Cassie! I can't do that to Rachel."

What was it with her today?

"But who's to say either one of you will get it? What if say…Santana were to audition, and she beats out BOTH of you? You never know, babe."

Shelby moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "But I can't attempt to beat Rachel out at all."

With a shrug, Cass delivered an alternative. "Then make her audition with a duet and see if they ask you to read."

It might have been sneaky—almost horrible—but what if Cassandra was right? What if this was Shelby's big chance to? To get back on the Broadway stage, where she knew she belonged? She thought on it a moment before saying, "That may work," and dialed Rachel's number again.

"What?" Rachel answered, still, apparently, a bit peeved.

Cassandra grinned devilishly at her plan, before walking away for a moment to talk to Brody. She had called him and asked him to bring her motorcycle to them—he agreed to drive Shelby's car back into the city so Cass could take Shelby for a ride. Brody had parked her baby a parking lot away and Cass left to get the helmets.

"I have an idea," Shelby said to Rach through the cell. Whether Rach was going to give her an attitude be damned. She didn't care anymore, she'd dealt with worse from Rachel Barbra Berry.

"For something that's not Barbra?" Rachel asked, holding the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she searched through a final Streisand book for some sort of inspiration.

"Get over it, Rach," Santana called from an aisle over.

"Why don't we do a duet together for your audition?" Shelby asked.

Rachel thought for a moment before hesitantly asking, "Like what?"

"Next to Me," Shelby was proud of herself for already having planned a song.

"…But that's not a duet…" she made a point.

"We can make it one. Unless you have another idea?" she challenged her daughter to think of something better. She didn't.

"I have nothing, so it sounds good to me. Can we rehearse tomorrow?"

Shelby smiled, thankful that Rachel was back to being Rachel again. Whenever the young girl was stressed, she tended to take it out on the universe. A trait she obviously got from Shelby, but an irritating trait, no less. "Of course, honey. Are we okay now?"

"We were never not okay, momma." Rachel felt bad, realizing what she had done. "I'm sorry."

"Okay," Shelby got distracted at the sight of her girlfriend in a black leather jacket; a _sexy _black leather jacket, mind you. She didn't notice the helmets.

"I love you, honey," Shelby said into the phone before hearing Rachel reply, "I love you, too," and hanging up.

Cass put the helmets on the hood of the car and went up behind Shelby, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing at her neck. "So do you trust me?"

"Of course…" hadn't they already discussed this today?

"Pull your hair back into a bun," Cass commanded. She knew it would irritate the hell out of Shelby if this ride screwed up her hair or if her hair smacked her in the face or whatever.

"Okay…" Cassandra could hear the hesitation in Shelby's voice and it made her laugh.

"Just do it. Oh, and put this on," she handed her a black helmet, with the face open.

"Oh no," Shelby backed away from her, pointing her finger at her crazy as hell girlfriend. "No." she knew the leather jacket was supposed to distract her from something. No matter how sexy it was, she was NOT going to let this happen.

"Shelby," Cassandra begged. "Come on, you don't even know what we're doing yet. Put on the helmet? Take my hand and trust me…"

Shelby's eyes widened and she backed up as she shook her head. "If it involves a helmet it's going to be dangerous…"

"It's not dangerous!" Cass pleaded. "I'm practiced, I promise. Just come with me." This was a big trusting step, she knew. But this told her that if Shelby could trust her with this, then it was a big positive step in their relationship, right?

"Fine." Shelby crossed her arms over her chest protectively. "But it looks like it's going to storm…"

So that was her biggest concern—not the motorcycle, but the storm. Cassandra knew how much Shelby hated storms. "We'll make it home by then, babe."

"Okay."

Cassandra led her to their ride—a beautiful deep purple Honda. "Isn't she gorgeous?"

She might not have been for the idea, but Shelby had to admit that Cassandra's motorcycle was gorgeous. "Yes." It also impressed her that Cassandra could DRIVE a motorcycle, let alone owned one. When had that happened? It was pretty hot.

"Do you trust me?" Cass asked again, making sure this was okay.

"Yes."

"Good. Put the helmet on, and get on the back when I tell you, okay?" Cass gave her a kiss on the cheek and it gave her shudders—good, amazing, earth shattering shudders—all the way down her back. She needed to wear that jacket more often.

"Okay," Shelby smiled.

Brody stood next to the bike. He tossed Cass the keys.

"Weston!" in turn, she tossed him Shelby's keys and narrowed her eyes at him. "You put a single scratch or dent in this car in any way shape or form, not only will I kick your ass, but I will sue you for everything you own and as whore I'm sure that's not something you can afford. Am I clear? See ya."

Brody nodded and jogged towards Shelby's car and Cassandra smirked. She actually didn't mind Rachel—was starting to get protective, even, of the girl—and any chance she had to make this kid fear for his life, she was going to take.

"Really? Brody?" Shelby asked in disgust.

"I thought you said you trusted me?" Cass grinned. "That includes my judgment. He's a good kid." She corrected herself after a moment of thought. "Well, I mean, besides being a whore, he is. And he's terrified of upsetting me. Your car will be safe, or he won't be."

"Fine," she wasn't in love with the idea of man whore Brody handling her car, but she did promise Cassandra her trust. Relationships were built on it, right?

Cass swung her leg over the motorcycle, turning Shelby on as well as the bike, and kicked up the stand before balancing it, putting on her own helmet. "Get on, baby," Shelby was entranced. Damn Cass for being so fucking clever.

Shelby slowly go on and wrapped her arms around Cassie's waist and held on tightly. Almost too tightly. Cass didn't mind, in fact, she grinned at her idea—it gave Shelby a chance to hold tight and never let go. Plus, it was amazingly romantic, and fun. "I've got you, okay?" she promised. "I'm licensed. It's okay."

Not answering, Shelby laid her head on Cassie's shoulder, squeezing her tighter.

Cass slowly walked the motorcycle back and shifted the gear, letting go of the brake and making them move forward. They went a couple of feet, then she stopped it and turned her head to speak to Shelby. "Is this okay? If you're too uncomfortable I can call Brody back…"

"No, let's do this."

Grinning, Cassie answered, "There's my sexy daredevil, Corcoran." She revved the bike and they pulled forward. She swerved around a bit, just to mess around. Once she got to the main road she sped up a bit before gradually slowing down and doing the same thing over again, basically giving Shelby a mini heart attack. Shelby tightened her grip on the woman.

Cass couldn't help but grin and didn't bother consoling her girlfriend because she wouldn't be able to hear her, anyways. She finally started driving the bike like a normal person and Shelby loosened her grip, just a little. Once they made it to the city, Cassie was forced to go slow, which was the most dangerous part of riding, because it made it harder to balance. She basically had to start walking it through the traffic.

"Mmm, so badass, Cass," Shelby hummed tauntingly in her ear before laughing.

"Ha! Says the girl whose grip was just so tight on my body that she almost broke my ribs. You were in more danger just now then you ever were while I was booking down the road, but if you'd rather I go back and pop a wheelie…I mean, if you consider that more badass?"  
Shelby kissed Cassie's shoulder. "Shut up."

Cassandra pulled into the parking garage just as the first clap of thunder roared through the sky. After padlocking the bike and helmets, Cass shook her long blonde hair out of its bun. Shelby longed to run her fingers through it. She took Shelby's hand and they started to walk back to her apartment.

"Hey, babe," Cass noticed the storm rolling in and wanted to distract Shelby from it. "Can we stay at my place tonight? I haven't been there all weekend, and I have to teach tomorrow…" dread overwhelmed her as she realized she'd have to teach without a shot of vodka to make it through the excruciatingly long morning.

"Yes. That's fine." The distraction wasn't working—Shelby was looking up at the sky, worriedly.

"Okay. We'll stop at your place so you can get your keys and clothes and—"she was interrupted by a huge ass clap of thunder. Shelby, bless her heart, put on a brave face and squeezed Cassie's hand tighter. _So what if she breaks my hand?_ Cass thought to herself. _Manhattan has hospitals…_ Her baby was going through a lot today. She pulled her closer and kissed her ear. "Hey, sweetheart, it's okay…"

"Let's just hurry, okay?"

They practically speed walked towards Shelby's apartment. A flash of lightning cracked across the sky, lighting every darkened building on the city block. Shelby ran into her apartment and Cass followed her, shutting the door tightly behind them. Hesitantly, she said, "I'm sorry we weren't back here as fast as I said we would be…I really thought we would have beat the storm, but we were close…"

"It's okay," Shelby said pointedly—focused. "Let me grab my things and we can go." It took her thirty seconds to get clothes from her bedroom before she was back out in the living room and said, "Let's go." And started to walk back towards the door.

Cass grabbed her and spun her around. "Hey, hey, Shelbs, slow down. We can wait out the storm, we have all day…"

This seemed to calm her down, but only for a moment. "Okay. Tea?"

"Sure." She watched carefully as Shelby picked out a box of tea in an OCD fashion and put it RIGHT back where it was, meanwhile filling the kettle with water and setting it on the stove, organizing thing around the kitchen as she worked. Shelby absolutely hated thunderstorms. They made her wall go up and Cassandra had never figured out what had happened to ignite this big phobia.

While Shelby leaned up against the counter and waited for the kettle to whistle, Cassandra walked towards her slowly, "Baby," she wrapped her arms around Shelby's hips, hooked her fingers in the belt loops on the back of her shorts and kissed her softly. "It's just a little storm. It's not them." By "them" she was referring to Shelby's parents—what she assumed was the root of the problem, for they usually always were.

Shelby stiffened but kissed her back. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't have to acknowledge it if you don't want to, that's fine. But I'm here for you, okay? It's just me here. You can relax." She kissed her again, trying to ease the tension. Shelby accepted her kiss, gratefully, and gave her one back.

"It's just…I'm strong. I can't cry, and if I talk about them, I'll cry."

"Shelby, baby…it's okay to cry sometimes. Yeah, I know, I'm a hypocrite…but you can talk to me about anything, you know that. I know you better than anyone."

"I know, baby," Shelby seemed thankful, but Cassandra knew she was tired. "And I appreciate it. Just not now, okay? It's been a long day, and it's not even noon."

Cass gave her a final kiss on the corner of her mouth and whispered, "Okay." Before letting go of her and giving her some space.

The kettle finally began to whistle and Shelby poured the water over the tea bags and handed Cassie a mug.

"Thank you," Cass mouthed.

"Mmmhmm…" Shelby made her way to the couch, curling up with her tea.

She was joined by Cass, who sat on the other end of the couch and surfed through her phone, discovering that NYADA had called her twice. She called Madame T back, standing and walking around the living room as the phone rang.

After a short conversation during which Cassandra grew immensely irritated and tired, Cass sat back by Shelby with a troubled look on her face.

Shelby noticed it right away. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Your daughter's audition is the same day as a test in Dance101. It's not as big as midterm, but it's a big part of her grade and I'm not sure I want her missing it. Madame T said the ball's in my court." She big her lip in thought. Schwimmer was good, but not good enough to pass the class without this test. Sure, she still needed the practice, but she had the drive and she had the potential. She couldn't miss this, and Cassandra couldn't let her.

"Can't you let her take it early?" Shelby asked, a bit worriedly.

Cassandra shrugged. "…I don't know, babe. It's a partner dance…"

"Okay. Well I understand, but she won't. She'll think you're out to get her. Hell, she wouldn't even believe you said hi to her earlier. So I can only imag—"thunder echoed loudly, causing Shelby to jump and falter. "—imagine how that will go down…"

When Shelby jumped, Cassandra gave her a sad, sympathetic look before moving closer to her, wrapping her arms around her protectively. "I know. I don't know what to do. Her dads pay her tuition, maybe we should call them? Ask what they think's more important? I don't really know them well enough to know what they'd have to say about it."

"How bad will it affect her grade if she misses it?"

She had to think about it—remember. "It's 10%. Midterm is 20. Her final goes in as a different grade entirely."

Shelby thought about it. "Well maybe we should let her make her own decision. She's grown."

"Right, and that'd be great, if it was her money she was wasting, but it's her dads. Wait, I have an idea…"

"What?"

Cass took her phone out again and dialed Rachel's number.

Rach answered, sounding confused. "Hello?" why was Miss July calling?

"Okay, Schwimmer, here's the thing. Your audition is the same day as the big test you've known about for a week. I'm going to give you a choice, okay? You can either go to your audition and miss the test, which is ill advised seeing as it's 10% of your grade, or you can do the dance with me, next Friday."

"…will it still count as my grade?" Rachel pondered.

"If you take it with me? Yes. But if you miss it, your grade drops."

"Okay. Deal."

Cass raised an eyebrow. How was this so easy? It could NOT be as easy as Rach was letting on…

"But…"

The blonde instructor smirked at the "but".

"Why are you helping me? You hate me."

Cassandra rolled her eyes. "Ohio, for the last damn time, I don't hate you. You irritate me 99% of the time, that's true. But I'm giving you a choice here that most people who irritate me would never get. Don't question it."

"Okay. Thanks. See you tomorrow in class."

"Don't be late." Cass hung up and grinned at Shelby. "Problem solved."

Shelby smiled at the way Cassandra handled that. Sure, she was still a little hard, but she knew that wasn't easy for the blonde to do. She cuddled into her. "Thank you."

Cass kissed the top of Shelby's head. "You're welcome. She's lucky she's talented…Being your daughter helps, too, I suppose…"

"Awe. So sweet."

Cassie crinkled her nose, teasingly. "I know. It's a horrible feeling."

"God, I love you,"

Lightning flashed, knocking the power out. Shelby was instantly in tears.

Out of immediate reaction, Cass put the flashlight on her phone and set it down on the coffee table in front of them. It lit up enough of the room so that Shelby's beautiful face was silhouetted and she could see the tears streaming down it. "Baby, shh, it's okay," she wiped a tear with a soft, comforting thumb.

"I can't do this. I'm not a weak person. God I'm so fucked up. What adult cries because of a storm?" she went to get up and Cass pulled her back down and into her arms.

"Hey. So you don't like storms. That doesn't make you weak, Shelbs, it makes you human. You've had a really hard life, baby, it's okay to be upset sometimes. You don't always have to be a hard ass—that's something you taught me when I fell in love with you. You taught me it's okay to have emotions and to show them to those we love."

Shelby let Cassie kiss her tears away before she curled into her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Shelby. So fucking much." She kissed Shelby's head before playing with her hair. "You can talk to me, baby, why do storms upset you so much?"

With a shaky voice, Shelby decided she might as well just tell Cassie what happened already. It was about time she knew. "When….My parents used to fight all the time. They were so…so loud. Always banging shit around. Then one night, it got really bad. Dad was drunk off his ass and it was storming outside. The power went out during a fight, and my dad…he came into my room yelling at me because of everything with the surrogacy and you…I was moving out in a week but he just couldn't wait to beat the shit out of me for all of my mistakes, I suppose." She broke into shaking sobs and Cassie held her close, whispering that it was okay. "He hit me. And he wouldn't stop. He busted my lip and blackened my eye. He called me a slut and a whore. He told me I was nothing before storming out." She took a shaky breath and now Cassandra was crying too. Why hadn't she been there to protect her Shelby? "My mom came into my room and cleaned my lip and put a bag of frozen peas on my eye and left me. Dad came back the next day and apologized…he blamed the alcohol but ever since that night, every time it storms I get scared. That night flashes back…I get nervous. That's also why I have such a hard time with your drinking…"

"Oh my god, baby…" Cassandra felt horrible—she had had no idea that this had happened to her Shelby and she felt partially responsible for all of it. "I'm so SO sorry." Her grip was strong on Shelby. "I'll never EVER let anybody hurt you. You're safe with me, honey, I promise you."

Shelby tried to compose herself—she was hyperventilating, slightly. She tried to take relaxing breaths. "I know, baby."

"He's gone, Shelby," Cassie reminded her. "He can't hurt you anymore."

"I know," Shelby whispered, wiping a final tear. "But I still get nervous."

Cassie kissed her cheek softly. "It's okay to be nervous sometimes. But you're safe, baby. You're safe. I promise. It's okay." She kissed her again, wanting to show her how very loved she was—to prove to her that she wasn't anything her dad had called her or said to her. "I've stopped drinking, remember? Everything's going to be okay."

Shelby gave her a concerned look. "What about this morning?"

Cass stiffened. She knew it was coming. "We don't talk about this morning. It was a mistake…"

"Okay…"

"I'm sorry for this morning. It was just a setback…"

"It's okay, Cass. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Don't be. I deserved that, it's okay."

"Okay."

And it was. Shelby was opening up to her again, and Cass was opening up to her. They were building up their relationship again—dare they think, stronger than before. It was going to be rough and sometimes sad and scary but it was also beautiful and incredible and Cassandra wouldn't trade it for the world.


	11. These Things Take Time

**Here's another chapter for you! It's shorter than the last one, but we're working on another soon. The next one will most likely mainly be focused on Rach and Santana and Kurt, since the last two were mainly about Shelandra. We're having so much fun writing this!**

**Tell us what you think!**

**Oh, and also... hayleynymphadora wanted to make a video for this-like one of the trailer videos that are sometimes made for stories? But her computer is incapable of it and her father won't let her download anything due to viruses and lack of virus protection and all of that good stuff...**

**So...if one of you has time to make a video for this, and, you know, wants to, it'd be so greatly appreciated! We'd be very very happy and it'd pretty much make hayleynymphadora's week, so contact us if you want to do it, please, so we know that someone is? That'd be so great! xD We'll thank you lots and lots and lots!**

**Let us know, and tell us what you think of the chapter! xD**

**xoxo, Defygravity09 and hayleynymphadora**

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Chapter 11: These Things Take Time

Shelby grabbed Cassie's hand, quickly, apologetically. She knew that bringing up the incident from that morning was a bad idea. It just slipped out with her fears. Cassie sometimes made her say things that she didn't want to say.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it," she said again, sincerely. She didn't want things to go back to being tense between them—she saw Cassandra's body stiffen when she first mentioned her slip up.

Slowly, Cass's body relaxed a bit. She knew she deserved what Shelby had said anyways. "It's alright, Shelby. Really," she assured her lover.

Shelbs wasn't sure if she believed her, but she decided that letting it go was the best option. She was sick of suffering from foot-in-the-mouth syndrome, at this point. She just wanted things to finally be okay between her and Cassandra, and today had been a really good start until the storm. "Okay." She knew that the storm was controlling her emotions right now, anyways. She was sure things would be okay again in a bit. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too," Cassie gave her a small smile.

Another loud clap of thunder roared, practically shaking Shelby's apartment. She squeezed Cassie's hand out of instinct then looked down, ashamed. Her, tough and independent Shelby Corcoran, was terrified of a storm. She was dating Cassandra July—woman seemingly unafraid of anything—and was squeezing her hand over a clap of thunder.

"I'm sorry," Shelby whispered.

Cassandra shook her head. Being afraid of storms because of what her parents did when she was younger wasn't something to be ashamed of. She was facing it head on—that was the important part. She was _trying_ not to let it control her, and that's what mattered. She was being _brave_, as Shelby Corcoran always did. "Sorry for what, sweetheart?" Cass asked quietly, squeezing her hand back.

"Still being scared even though I have the most amazing woman beside me. It's going to take some time to get over storms…"

"Hey, that's okay," Cassandra said softly, with a blush. Shelby had called her the most amazing woman. She was giving her too much credit, as she always did. "Baby, I'm not the most amazing woman. I know it's going to take a while to get over storms, but that's okay. You'll be okay, alright? _We'll_ be okay," she kissed her warmly and Shelby returned it with a small smile.

"Okay," she reached for her phone and checked one of her many weather apps. "Well…" she said as she scrolled through a third one to double check and validate what the first two were saying. She sighed. "Why don't we head to your apartment now? It looks like it's going to get worse tonight?"

Cass rubbed Shelby's leg softly, giving the brunette shivers and making her momentarily forget the storm. Too bad that wouldn't work all the time. "Alright," Cassie said. "I'll protect you, Shelbs. Forever."

"Okay," Shelby smiled again. It was amazing to keep hearing that, and she hoped it would be true forever and ever.

"So…we're walking to SoHo?" Cass asked skeptically.

Shelby giggled at her. "No, we can take my car. Brody _did_ bring it back here, right?" she raised an eyebrow at Cassandra's judgment call from earlier.

"He _better_ have put it in the garage…" her tone was that of warning and for a minute Shelby almost feared for Brody's. But then she realized it was Brody and she didn't care what Cassandra did to him.

"Okay, let's go."

Their hands never lost grip on one another.

. . .

"Sorry it's sort of a mess…I haven't been here all weekend…" it had been a long time since Shelby had been in this particular apartment, but it hadn't changed much. It was decorated in mostly black and white and covered in clothes thrown haphazardly about the place—something Shelby liked to call laziness and Cassie liked to call "Cassandra Casual". There were clothing articles scattered about the floor in some areas and draped over the couch in others, (no doubt from when Cassie had realized she was late and did that famous "let's see how much I can accomplish while multitasking—getting dressed AND brushing my hair AND brushing my teeth" thing that she did).

"It's okay, Cass," Shelby laughed. "I know how you are. No need to try to fool me."

Cass smacked her in the arm, playfully. "Wow, Shelbs, way to be so blunt." Her stomach growled and she looked at Shelby pleadingly. "You hungry?" she hoped.

"Starved," Shelby answered with a smile.

"What sounds good?" Cass asked. She opened her big silver fridge that was practically a waste of money—she grimaced at the limited options in there. She rarely ever ate at home. It was a good thing she could sometimes cook…well, at least SHELBY could cook…

"Something healthy," Shelby answered her.

_I should've guessed._

"Ugh, Shelbs," Cass tilted her head back with a groan. "You know there's a disease, and you actually might have it. Orthorexia. Look it up.

Shelby dropped her jaw, "Shut up," she smacked Cassie for the comment. Cass rolled her eyes—she was being serious and it was a little unsettling that Shelby just shrugged it off. "We already ate junk this weekend," Shelby continued, knocking Cass out of the way to the fridge with her hip. "Move over," she looked through the fridge for herself. There was half a gallon of milk, some tortilla shells, a bottle of ketchup, and a box of "pizza" that was probably mostly empty. "How do you live off this shit?!" Shelby asked, incredulously.

Laughing, Cass scratched the back of her head casually. "Um…I don't? I eat on campus when I'm starving, and I go out to eat a lot…" it felt awkward explaining her diet when Miss Only Healthy Food was standing right next to her, looking in her fridge, totally judging her.

Shaking her head, Shelby turned to look at her lover. However to Cassie's astonishment, "judging" wasn't the look Shelby was giving her. It was more like a look of love—one of admiration, and adoring. It gave Cassie's stomach butterflies and made her feel like one of those lovesick teenagers.

"Well, looks like we will be shopping again tomorrow after your classes." She opened the drawer by the sink and grabbed some takeout menus. Thankfully, Cassie still kept them there. Shelby felt so at home in her Cassie's apartment…like things might be okay again. She held two of the menus up for Cassie to choose. "Chinese or pizza?"

"Mmm," Cass put a finger to her chin in contemplation. Frankly, she was amused that Shelby remembered where everything in the apartment was. "We could always been like one of those disgustingly adorable couples and feed each other Chinese noodles," she teased.

Shelby smiled and kissed Cassandra's cheek, handing her her cell. "Okay. You order, I'm going to the bathroom."

"Kay."

Once Shelby was about halfway to the bathroom, Cass yelled as an afterthought, "Hey, don't fall in!"

She unlocked Shelby's phone—she had been struck by a wave of love when Shelby told her that her phone password was "Fire", like the Bruce Springsteen song. Their song.

Before she could call the Chinese place, however, the phone went off. She looked at the contact picture—it was Schwimmer. Oh, how fun. She answered,

"Hey mom, just calling to see what you've been up to…Santana left to go get water bottles and batteries and what-not and I'm bored…"

Cassie's face lit up. "Hey, Schwimmer, how's it going?" she asked smugly.

In the bathroom, Shelby changed into her pajamas. The wind began to howl and a loud crack of thunder shook the apartment. Shelby sat at the edge of the tub to steady herself. She spoke to herself softly, "It's just a storm. They're not here. Cassie's here. She's going to protect you. She loves you. You're safe."

Back in the kitchen, oblivious to what was happening in her bathroom, Cassie giggled at Rachel's annoyed tone as she said, "Put my mother on the phone."

"Or else what?" Cassie laughed. "I'm going to get her, hang on…" she said before Rachel could try to threaten her and make her laugh harder. She walked down her hallway and pounded on the bathroom door. "Shelbs, I told you NOT to fall in. Your daughter's on the phone for you…"

Slowly, cautiously, Shelby stood and made her way to the door. She took the phone from Cassie, who could sense her discomfort immediately. She spoke to Rachel, "Hey, baby girl," her voice was shaky.

Upon realizing Shelby's shaken state, Cass's playfully expression automatically turned to one of concern. She mouthed, "Hey, you okay?"

Shelby nodded, but Cassie didn't truly believe her. Shelbs put Rachel on speaker and held the phone out in front of her. Her hand was shaking and Cassie took it in hers, trying to calm her.

"Hey, mama, how are you? We haven't REALLY talked in a while, and tonight's when we usually talk in the chatroom, but our power went out…" Rachel said.

"Yeah, Rach, mine went out too. We're over at Cassie's, surprisingly she still has power…" Shelby sighed and shifted her weight to the other side of her body. Cass watched her hips move before slowly trailing her gaze back up to the phone.

"Maybe not for long," Rachel's tone was warning and Shelby bit her lip. "It's supposed to be horrible tonight—"

Sensing Shelby's discomfort, Cassie called into the phone, "Do. Not. Jinx. Us. Schwimmer!"

Shelby shook her head quickly. "Don't say that, baby girl. I don't do storms. You know that."

Rachel felt bad, remembering Shelby's hatred for storms. She never knew why she disliked them so much, but she knew that they made Shelby nervous. "I know, mama. I'm sorry. I just thought you should know—"

Cass cut in before she could continue. "O-kay, thank you, David, is that all you called to tell us?"

"Cass, be nice," Shelby didn't like that Cassie had called Rachel "David", but she did like that she was trying to redirect the conversation… "Thanks for calling, honey. Is everything okay?"

Rachel was hesitant to answer. "Um…I guess…yeah. Maybe I'll just leave you and Miss July alone tonight…"

Cass sighed heavily. She didn't mean to keep screwing things up with Rachel. "I'm sorry, Schwimmer, okay?"

"No, Rach. What's wrong?" Shelby asked.

"Nothing's wrong, mama," Rachel said, sounding tired. "I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"About what?"

It was Rach's turn to sigh heavily as she spoke. Cassie leaned against the doorframe, listening. "I don't know…Santana and I sleep like, a CURTAIN away from each other. I don't want things to be awkward in this house and I definitely don't need Kurt and Blaine, who are ALWAYS skyping each other, mocking us for it constantly.

This made Cassie smirk. "I don't know, Schwimmer, your mother and I sleep pretty damn close to each other and things certainly aren't awkward between us…"

Shelby blushed, yet smiled at Cassie's suggestive tone. She secretly loved when Cassie got like this—all impatient and vying for Shelby's undivided attention by acting all seductive. It was sweet, it made her shiver and feel so…special. Loved.

"Not now, Cass," she pretended to shrug her away, which she knew would only make the woman want her more. It was an exhilarating feeling. "Go order our food," she said to Cassie before turning back to Rachel. "Baby, things are going to be weird at first but it will pass soon."

She heard Rachel sigh again. She was doing a lot of that tonight. "I hope so."

Cassie pressed her lips together, suppressing as mile at Shelby's blush as she went to order the food with her own cell. It had been so long since she could be so flirtatious and suggestive with Shelby. She was absolutely loving the feeling. She had _missed_ this feeling.

"It will, just be yourself and things will work themselves out," Shelby promised her daughter.

"…okay. Thanks, mom. I have to go—Kurt says I need to save my battery and he's probably right…"

Shelby couldn't help but feel like that wasn't everything on Rachel's mind, but she obviously didn't have the time to talk to her about it now. She vowed to talk for real with her later on. Once power was back and they didn't have to save batteries. "Okay. Good night, honey. I love you. Call me if you need anything."

"Same goes for you, okay? I love you too."

They hung up.

Meanwhile, Cassie was in the living room after having ordered the food. She picked up some of the discarded clothes that were all over the place. Usually she would just throw them all in a pile in her bedroom, but now that Shelby was here…in any case, her apartment needed to be tidied up anyways and if Cass didn't do it, she knew Shelby would.

Shelby went to go find Cassie and saw her in the living room, facing the opposite direction. She grinned—now she could finally be the one to start their flirtatious and fluffy actions, instead of Cassie always being the one to do it. She snuck up behind her and wrapped her arms around Cassie's waist before placing a kiss to her cheek.

Electricity ran through Cassie's body. She covered Shelby's hands with her own. "Hey you," she grinned and turned her head to catch Shelby's cheek with her lips.

"Mmm. So what did you decide? Chinese or pizza?" Shelby wondered.

"Chinese," Cassie informed her, walking forward. Shelby walked with her, her arms still wrapped around the woman she called hers. "I've lived off pizza for the past month before you came waltzing back into my life and made me start eating lentil soup and veggie wraps."

"Oh," Shelby giggled. "I can handle that."

Cass laughed at her uncertainty. "Oh, can you?" she teased.

"Yes, I don't have to always eat healthy or should I remind you about the cheesecake night?" Shelby reiterated.

"Oh, do you mean the cheesecake I talked you into going out and buying? That cheesecake?" Cassandra was bound determined to win this.

"Yes, that cheesecake."

Cassie winked. "You're so adorable." She went to clean up the mess that was her kitchen and Shelby stayed in the living room, standing in front of the couch.

"Stop cleaning, Cass. Come hold me until the food gets here." She faked a pout and wrapped her arms around herself, pretending to be afraid. "I'm scared."

Maybe mocking her fear was what she needed to do in able to get rid of it, she thought to herself. Sure, it seemed sort of unconventional but at this point she was ready to try anything. The thunder hadn't clapped in a while, and she hadn't seen much lightning recently. Maybe if she just joked around with it, it wouldn't seem so bad? Perhaps if she mocked the fear, it could no longer be her fear. She let Cassie play along as she blonde put out her lower lip and raised an eyebrow.

"My baby's afraid?" she practically sashayed over to Shelby and wrapped both arms around her, picking her up and pulling her into her arms. "I've got you, Shelbs," she kissed at Shelby's cheek and then attacked her forehead with the kisses and laughed lightly. "It's okay."

Shelby snuggled into Cassie, pressing her face to her neck and breathing in. She smelled so wonderfully like Cassie. It wasn't a smell she could describe. "Good, I was so scared," she said against Cassie's neck. She made her voice small, "But not now."

"God, you're so fucking cute," Cass kissed her again, this time placing one expertly on her lips. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, baby," Shelby practically whispered. The two of them fell back onto the couch; Cassie lying across Shelby and looking up at her. Shelby leaned down and kissed her once more. There would never be a time where she tired of pressing her lips to Cassie's. There was never a time where they overused the practice. It felt amazing. It was a missed feeling.

"We have a lot to catch up on, Shelbs," Cassie realized. "We haven't really talked about what's happened since we…went our separate ways." She was careful with the way she worded it. "What all happened in Ohio?"

It felt weird to say "Ohio" and not be referring to Rachel. It was just habit now, and if Shelby truly detested it, she knew she'd have to stop saying it. It would be a hard habit to break, at this point.

"Oh god," Shelby laughed and Cassie, who was laying on her stomach, giggled at the feeling. "Where to start?"

Cass giggled again and bit her lower lip. "Was there anyone to replace me?" she wondered casually. "You know, besides that Will freak…"

"No. And Will was nothing but a one night make out session who thought there was more to us than there was. He was too fucked up for me, and his beard chaffed my chin. Nothing like you, my dear." She ran her hands through Cassie's hair, nearly making the woman swoon. "What about you? Anyone for you after me?"

Cassie smiled. "Well I'm glad my beard doesn't chaff your chin," she joked. "No one that was serious," she said as an afterthought. They wouldn't talk about Brody—he was absolutely NOTHING. "And no one that could ever compare to you."

Shelby raised an eyebrow at Cassandra's forwardness. She was never usually this vulnerable and kind. "Well call the press. Crazy July has a soft side."

Cassie reddened at getting caught being sweet. She only ever was to Shelby. It was always only Shelby. "Hush, you," she playfully pushed at Shelby's arm.

A knock at the door interrupted their talk. Shelby nodded towards the door, "You should get that."

"But you're soooo comfortable," Cassie moaned, pulling her closer. "It's opennn!" she yelled across the room. The delivery guy slowly opened the door, hesitantly, looking a little concerned.

"Cassandra!" Shelby said with an amused laugh. She pushed the blonde off so that she caught herself on the floor and met the delivery guy halfway. "Come on in…" she took the food and paid the man. "Sorry about her. She's just a little crazy."

"That's what they call me," Cass said in sing-song. "Crazy Cassie July!" the guy stared at her. "Take a picture!" Cassie grinned wickedly before winking. "It'll last longer."

"Oh stop scaring the poor kid!" Shelby laughed. "Have a good night," she walked him out before turning to Cassie. "You are just ridiculous sometimes, you know that?"

"You love me," Cassie tapped Shelby's ass lightly with a wink. "I make your uptight life perfectly balanced with a little bit of ridiculousness."

"You're not conceited." Shelby joked.

Cassie was serious, though, "Not at all. Just flirtatious. Difference."

"Okay," Shelby shook her head. "Let's eat." She was starving.

"Kay," Cass opened up a box of noodles and pulled out two pairs of chopsticks. Shelby gave her a look and Cassie rolled her eyes. "You aren't eating fucking Chinese noodles with a fork, Corcoran, honestly, take the damn chopsticks?"

"Fine," Shelby took the chopsticks, sticking her tongue out jokingly at Cassandra.

"Remember how you love me?" Cassandra reminded her.

"Always,"

"Good. Because I love you always too," They looked up at each other and smiled and things, for once, actually felt…right, between them. Neither woman wanted to lose that feeling ever again.


	12. Enough of the Fighting

**We are so so so very sorry this took so long! We just got back into it a few days ago. Both had a very eventful and stressful summer and now that it's turning to fall again, I'm super sick and Defygraviy09 is busy with work and i'm busy with school and..ugh life problems.**

**BUT we hope this super long chapter makes up for everything! Tell us what you think!**

**Love always, Defygravity09 and Hayley**

Chapter 12:

Rachel, Santana and Kurt were all sitting around their apartment. Well, Santana and Kurt were sitting. Rachel was pacing the floors of the living room, warming up her voice and singing every possible challenging song she could think of. It was one week before her audition and she wanted her voice to be top notch.

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma maaaaa.

Ma ma ma ma ma ma maaaaa.

Ma ma ma—Damn it! I can sing higher than that, I know I can!"

She was already above a C6.

Santana figured it was about time to intervene. Behavior like this had been going on for days now. She let out an exasperated breath. "Baby, can we please just call it a night?"

With a pout, Rachel sighed back, "I can't! Why can't I be the best I can be? I'm too nervous. I'm going to screw it up, I just know it! Even WITH Shelby by my side to back me up. Maybe she shouldn't back me up. Do you think it's too weird to audition for Funny Girl with my mother? It's not very independent of me…" she was the only one in the room who didn't understand that she was now rambling.

"Rach, calm down." Santana said calmly, in an attempt to soothe the girl. "You're going to be great."

"Says who? What if I'm not right for Fanny?! What if my whole life has been…what if I'm not good enough?" she said the last part with a small voice. One that clearly didn't think too highly of her talent anymore. One that wasn't confident in the slightest.

Standing, Santana walked towards Rachel and took the girl's shaking hands in her own. She kissed her girlfriend's lips softly; a sweet, comforting peck. "Baby, you are the best singer I've ever heard. You were born to play Fanny."

Melting into Santana's embrace, Rachel felt slightly more relaxed. But only slightly. Santana's tone did that to her—calmed her. The Latina's gorgeous reassuring eyes helped, too.

"Okay," She whispered softly. "I believe you."

Kurt watched them from his spot in his favorite chair. "As adorably sickening as the two of you are, can we please move the lovey dovey stuff out of Kurt's direct line of vision? I'm trying to watch America's Next Top Model and you're—"he peered over to one side, hastily. "Blocking my view!"

Santana rolled her eyes. Kurt was just upset because Blaine wasn't there to do the same to him. He had been feeling like a third wheel recently. It was something they would have to figure out when life wasn't so hectic. "Shut up, porcelain." She grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her onto the couch and into her lap.

Their roommate clicked his tongue at them and swatted at Rachel's arm. This gesture was ignored as Rachel smiled down at Santana. "Are we moving too fast?" she whispered. "Everything's happening so quickly recently…"

Loosening her grip a little, San said quietly, "I don't know, what do you think? How do you feel about it?"

She hadn't felt like they were moving too fast. Well, if they were any other couple who had just met, perhaps. But they hadn't just met. They'd known each other for years and years and had been crushing on each other forever. But if Rachel thought it was too fast, Santana would try her best to respect that, no matter how much she disliked the idea. She couldn't screw this up with Rachel. Not after wanting it for such a long time.

"I…" Rachel looked down for a moment. "I don't know. I mean, of course I want to be with you. And I'm not putting Fanny first, it's just that…there's so much happening at once and I'm not sure I can give a hundred percent on anything when I have my attention a thousand places at once…"

San let go of Rachel completely. "Maybe we should move this to the bedroom. So we don't disturb Kurt." Her tone was a little stressed and once they were in Rachel's room (or, more appropriately, her space behind a curtain), she spoke again. "I understand, Rach. I do, but you know that I'm not going to be your lackey. I needs my attention."

Smiling softly with a little laugh, Rachel said back, "I know. I know you do. And so do I. And I want so badly to give you all the attention you deserve, I'm just not sure I have the energy to right now. You know, us always wanting attention could be why we used to argue so much," she noted. "Among other things, of course."

There was a slight pause after which Santana asked, "What are we going to do?" she was putting the ball in Rachel's court. She wasn't going to push her if she wasn't ready. That was a mistake she was not going to make.

"Hmm." Rach sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to her. "We could pretend I never said anything." She cocked her head to one side with a coy little smile.

Taking this as an invitation, Santana sat down next to Rachel; a sly grin spreading across her lips. "Yeah?"

Rachel pressed her lips together and then bit her lip softly, guardedly, but determined. "Yeah."

Leaning over to kiss Rachel, Santana whispered seductively, "I think I'd like that."

Rachel kissed her back, softly. "I'd like that, too."

The kiss deepened as Santana slid over to sit on Rachel's lap, one leg on each side. Rachel giggled, blushing like the young girl that she was, at this new form of contact between the two of them. It was something new but she definitely liked it and wanted it to continue.

Unfortunately for the two of them, they were interrupted by Kurt, who pounded his fist on the side wall, making both girls jump at the startling sound.

"Fucking a, Kurt, what?!"

With a laugh, Kurt responded, "Well, I just wanted to warn you that Shelby is at the door. In case, you know, you didn't want her walking in on all of that making-out-with-her-daughter business."

"Perfect timing," Santana complained, smiling down teasingly at Rachel. "I was about to get my lady loving on."

Rachel's blush deepened as she wondered what that might have felt like. "Well my mother is more dramatic than I am, San. She's always known how to make the perfect grand entrance…"

Santana sighed. "Yeah. Let's go see what she wants."

"Okay." Rachel agreed, taking Santana's hand as they got up and walked towards the front door.

Kurt rolled his eyes and laughed at the lovesickness shared between the two girls. Was it really necessary to hold hands as they walked to the front door? Perhaps he was a little bitter, he noticed. And slightly jealous. He was really missing Blaine recently. He would give anything to have the opportunity to hold his hand as they walked to the front door.

Rach opened the door and Shelby spotted her daughter holding hands with Santana. Shelby smiled at them. "Hey baby."

Stuttering, slightly taken aback, Rachel responded, "Hi, mom...what are you doing here?"

"Yeah and where's your lady lover?" Santana couldn't help but wonder, a bit bitterly.

With a laugh, Shelby said innocently, "I can't just stop by and see my baby girl? And Cassie is at work."

"Well I suppose that's okay," Rach laughed lightly. "Um, come on in, I guess..."

"Thanks," Shelby slid past the girls, after hugging them quickly. "Hey, Kurt." She walked over to hug him before sitting on the couch.

"No problem," Rachel told her, a bit confused. "Are you and Cassie fighting or something?"

"No," Shelby denied quickly. "No, no, no, nothing like that. Cass is at work and I got bored; had all of my classes caught up grade wise and I decided to come see my babies and see how your audition is coming along."

"We're not babies," Kurt defended.

"You're my babies." Shelby informed him.

"Well...It's...coming along...are you still going to perform it with me?" she sat down next to Shelby and Santana sat on the other side of Rach.

With a nod, Shelby responded, "If that's what you want."

Putting a hand to her head, Rachel let out a sigh. "I don't know what I want anymore." she sounded so tired. So lost.

"Baby girl," Shelby grabbed Rachel's hand warmly. "If you want to do this alone, I am perfectly fine with that. It's all up to you. And only you. I'll still help you prepare."

Rachel hesitated before answering; so conflicted about every and anything that was happening. "...I just don't know! I've never been so nervous and this isn't even a call back, it's just a first audition!"

"I know, baby." Shelby said sympathetically as her daughter struggled with whatever emotions she was feeling. "Just let me know, okay?"

"Okay…" Rachel replied softly, looking up guiltily into Shelby's eyes. "I don't want to hurt your feelings. I don't want to mess anything up. I don't want to screw up this audition…" her rambling came back and she started to panic.

Sick of hearing her down herself, Santana and Kurt both insisted in unison, "You aren't going to screw it up!" Kurt adding a "Diva," to the end of his sentence and Santana adding a "Drama queen." To the end of hers.

Nodding feverishly, Shelby contributed, "They're right, baby. You won't. You know what?" she said with a gut feeling of reassurance. "I want you to do it alone."

Rachel lifted her head up, hastily—shocked at her mother's declaration. "You…what? Are you sure, Mom?"

"Yes." Shelby stated positively. "I have all the faith in the world in you, Rachel."

Her daughter was hesitant before she responded, "…Okay. If you're sure…"

"I am, honey." Shelby took her hand comfortingly. "Cass may kill me but she'll get over it. My baby is going to be a star, on her own, without her mother's help. You don't need me up there with you. You shine on your own."

Confused, Rachel was grateful for what her mother said but focusing on the first part of her sentence. "…why would Cass kill you for that?"

Biting her lip, knowing she said too much, Shelby realized it was too late to turn back. "She kind of forced me into doing the audition with you." She admitted, feeling foolish for even agreeing to what Cass had insisted.

Rachel's eyes widened in outrage; how low had her dance teacher planned to stoop?! "She what?! Why would she do that?!"

Santana stood, as if ready to punch Cassandra July. If only she were there, Santana would have gone all Lima Heights.

Scrambling for an explanation, Shelby tried to get all of the right words out of her mouth. "She told me I should do it too. And I told her no but she kept on pushing it and so I just agreed, to get her off my back."

She felt sort of bad blaming Cassandra for all of it; even if she had felt forced into the situation, she didn't have to say yes.

Rachel was still trying to process the new information. "She…she wanted you to have the part I wanted…and you agreed?" she dropped her mother's hand and Shelby's face went white.

"No, she wanted me to audition just to make me see I was still good at what I used to do. If I got it I wasn't going to accept it."

Santana actually scoffed and Kurt put his head into his hands, listening but not feeling the need to get into it. Rachel rolled her eyes at Shelby's antics.

"I'm supposed to believe that you weren't going to accept the part of Fanny Brice? That's only been your dream role since forever." She reached for Santana's hand and held it tightly, feeling extremely overwhelmed.

Shelby shook her head, feeling horrible. She knew it was going to come to this. Why did everything always have to be so complicated? Couldn't they just have a normal, functional family like everybody else?!

"Baby girl, why would I do anything to jeopardize what we have? I can't lose you. Yes, Fanny was my dream but I have found my new, bigger dream." She took Rachel's hand again and, reluctantly, Rachel let her. "You're my dream, Rachel. Having a relationship with you and watching you become a star is more important than anything else in my life." She couldn't believe she was on the verge of tears. All of this relationship and family stuff had been really breaking her down recently.

Rachel was also on the verge of tears, feeling over bombarded by everything recently. "Okay. I believe you."

Santana smirked, feeling triumphant that Cassandra hadn't gotten her way this time. "Crazy July will just have to get over it." She turned her attention to Shelby. "Do you always do what July tells you to do? Or at least, agree to it?"

Shelby rolled her eyes, sick of the cat fights always ensuing between Cassie and Santana. The two didn't even know each other. "No, I don't always do what Cassandra tells me to do."

The young Latina was unconvinced. "Hmm. Sort of hard to believe considering she's a manipulative bitch."

Pressing her lips together tightly, Shelby closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Santana. Please. Not now."

With a scoff, Santana threw her arms up into the air and rolled her eyes back. "Then when?! Your daughter's not even comfortable with you dating this woman and all you care about it the stupid audition but there's more to all of this than meets the eye and I don't think Cassandra is as perfect as you seem to think she is." She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back.

Shelby cast a weary glare, looking from Rachel and back to Santana. "What do you know, Santana?" her sideways glance was cautious. "Just spill it." Her heart started to beat at a pace slightly faster than per usual.

"I'm not saying I know anything." Santana shot back. "All I'm saying is you need to take a step back. You act like she's your fucking soul mate."

Shelby's heart warmed at the thought of Cassandra being her soul mate. At the thought of spending her whole life with Cassandra. Of being her forever. "I think she may be." She smiled softly, a lovey expression filling her face against her will.

Santana bit her lip, feeling bad that Shelby didn't already know as much as she should have. "Shelby…" Santana absolutely loathed Cassandra and she figured she could at least look out for Shelby's well-being.

However, the older brunette was just starting to get aggravated. Why did Santana always have to be so discreet?! And why was Cassandra always doing stupid things that she knew would piss Shelby off?!

"What?!"

Taking a deep breath, Santana responded, "She's not the angel you treat her as. She taunts Rachel, she's a bitch to everyone, and she's a fucking alcoholic! I just always assumed you were better than that."

Shelby tried her damndest to keep her tears inside of her as she thought about what Santana was saying to her. As if she hadn't thought the same thing a time or two—as if Cassandra didn't realize that she and Shelby were a hard pair to match. As if the two of them weren't trying to work on the alcoholic thing. As if she hadn't told Cassandra time and time again to leave Rachel the hell alone.

"She….she…" the tears started streaming down her face against her will. "I know! OKAY!" she softened her voice and put a hand to her mouth in disdain. "I know."

Santana felt bad for making Shelby cry. Shelby Corcoran rarely ever cried. "Damn, C. I didn't mean to make you cry, please don't with the waterworks…Hey…"

Wiping her tears with her sleeve, Shelby sniffed and said. "Sorry."

"Don't be, Shelby." Santana sighed. There was always so much drama between all of them. "It's just that…a few weeks ago you didn't even want to TALK about her."

"…I know. I fall fast." Her face hardened as her walls started to go up. "As does my daughter, apparently."

Her reaction of course made Santana harden as well. She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Don't make this about Rachel. Or me. We're talking about Cassandra."

Realizing throwing the situation back at Santana wasn't going to solve anything, Shelby simply repeated, "I know, I fall hard, what can I say?" What did she want to say? Not much. Right now she wanted to know what the hell Cassandra had done now.

Santana wasn't buying Shelby's closed off state. "What am I missing here?" Shelby and Cassandra were not your typical couple—clearly they had to work hard to keep it going. So what was it?

Shelby was about done by now. "What are you confused about?!" she demanded. Rachel and Kurt watched quietly as the two women fought it out. "I love Cassandra. And I have fallen for her once again, fast and hard like I did before."

"What is there to love about Cassandra? She's a bitch, Shelby! She's downright horrible! It must be the sex. She must be fan-fucking-tastic in bed, but Shelby that's not a 100% good reason to fall for her."

"No." Shelby shook her head furiously, her cheeks blushing at the mention of sex with Cassandra. "The Cassie you see is not the Cassie she is with me. She is sweet and soft and loving. She really does love me. That I know. And I love her. She just had a hard life. And doesn't show her vulnerable side very often. Just like someone else I knew, back in Lima." She added pointedly.

Santana hardened. "This isn't about me." She repeated.

"I know, Santana. I'm just saying. She's not as bad as you're making her out to be."

"She's not your little ray of sunshine, either." Santana spit back at her, feistily.

Rachel felt it was about time to stop this little war. "Can we stop fighting about Miss July? I like to avoid talking about her in general.

Meanwhile Kurt, not wanting to get into the drama, pretended to still be invested in America's Next Top Model.

With a shake of her head, Shelby figured maybe she shouldn't have come to see Rachel after all. She knew something like this was going to happen. "Maybe I should go." She got up to leave. "I'm sorry, Rachel, truly. You'll do great at your audition. If you need help, give me a call."

"Mom…" Rachel sighed, not wanting her mother to leave.

Shelby stopped her walk towards the door and spun around. "Yes, Rach?"  
"I'm sorry about the way everything's going right now." She admitted.

Santana rolled her eyes. Rachel should not be the one apologizing. All of this was Cassandra's fault. They had all been doing great until she came into their lives. "For god's sake, Rach, she doesn't even know about Brody!" she exclaimed.

At this point, Shelby was so over Santana's attitude and just wanted to get back to Cassie. She didn't want to cause any more problems but admittedly Santana's most recent outburst gave her pause. "What happened with Brody?" she looked from Rachel to Santana then over to Kurt, who made eye contact with her than averted his eyes. He was not going to get into this. He didn't want to get on Shelby's bad side like Santana had been doing recently. He loved Shelby and Rachel and Santana and didn't entirely mind Cassandra, in all honesty. He was not going to fight with all of them the way that they fought with each other. High school was dramatic enough, they didn't need to drag it all into real life situations, too.

Rachel just sighed. "I…mom, don't make me do this. Go talk to Cassie, please, I don't want to be in the middle of all of this anymore…"

"Okay, Rach." Shelby agreed wholeheartedly. Santana on the other hand was not prepared to let this go without Shelby knowing what she was really getting herself into.

"Okay good," Rachel said, ignoring Santana's look of wanting to burst with the information inside of her. "I'm definitely not Miss July. If there's a problem you should talk it out with her."

"Rachel, she deserves to know!" Santana protested.

"Miss July will tell her!" Rachel insisted back, wondering why Santana felt like she had to be so persistent about it. It was a long time ago! Rachel had let bygones be bygones, why couldn't Santana? It hadn't even HAPPENED to her, and besides, no one cared about Brody anymore.

"I'll call her then." Shelby shot Santana a look. "Rachel doesn't have to tell me."

"Mom…" Rachel winced. If Cassandra was going to tell her, it shouldn't be through a phone call. "Maybe this is something you should do face to face…Like when she gets out of work today?"

Shelby stiffened; she hadn't realized this was such a serious conversation. Now she was confused and concerned. "Okayyy…" she dragged the word out in worry.

Rachel realized that now Shelby was freaking out on the inside. "It's not—It' just…" at this point she was muttering. "Just go talk to your girlfriend about Brody."

"Okay." Shelby finally just left the house to go and find Cass. Judging by the time she figured she'd find her locking up the studio or something relatively close to that. Her best bet was to walk to campus.

As Shelby had assumed, Cass had just finished her final class of the day and was post-stretching in her studio, in front of her favorite large mirror. For a moment while Cassie was sprawled, split legged across the floor, Shelby almost forgot that she might be mad at her for whatever had happened with Brody.

"Hey honey," Shelby said, starting out light as she walked over towards Cassie to sit next to her on the studio floor.

Cassandra lifted her head from staring down at her legs during her split and smiled. "Hey you." She gave her girlfriend a sexy little wink, blissfully ignorant to the fact that Shelby planned on interrogating her. "What's up?"

Shelby slid her hand down Cassandra's leg and rested it on her knee. "We need to talk."

Slowly, Cass straightened her back up and glanced over at Shelby, looked down at her hand, then looked up into her emerald city eyes. "Shit. I know that voice." She said, defeated. "What did I do this time?"

"Calm down," Shelby told her warmly, trying not to sound shaky. "I don't even know if I'm going to be mad. I just need to ask you a question." She placed her hand to Cassandra's chin and gave the woman a soft, passionate and needy kiss before whispering, begging, "Tell me about Brody." She looked deeply into Cassie's ocean blue eyes, pleading for the truth.

Double blinking slowly, Cassandra was admittedly fairly taken aback. Of everything she had expected Shelby to ask, this wasn't it. She gathered her confidence before trying not to show her nervousness. Her face grew slightly hard, and she nearly buckled when Shelby stared her down, sliding her hand further and further up her thigh. "…What about Weston do you want to know?" she finally responded, feeling lame. "Is Schwimmer hooking up with him again? I thought she had it hot for Latina?"

Taking her hand away from where she knew Cassandra was now dying for it to be, Shelby crossed her arms over her chest and said sternly, "No. And you're going to stop calling her that. Her name is Rachel. You know what I'm talking about, so just tell me!" she pleaded rather forcefully.

"Schwimmer has ALWAYS been her name to me!" Cassandra defended herself. She caught Shelby's glare and rolled her eyes, her walls going up. "Fine, fine. I don't know what you're talking about. What about him? He's a whore—you know, sleeps with chicks for dough—and he's a great dancer and a strong performer and an excellent student and for a while he had it hot for Schwimm—for Rachel. And he lived with her for like 3 months or something…" she averted her gaze and started stretching some more, trying to distract from the fact that she and Shelby both knew—she was hiding the most important details. Out of fear.

"Cassie…" Shelby coaxed.

"Shelby…" Cassie taunted, guiltily.

Shelby huffed out a frustrated breath. It was time to start threatening. "Either you can tell me what you're not telling me or I'm going to call Santana because I know SHE will."

This made Cassandra scoff. The fact that Santana thought she knew her life was almost laughable. "Latina doesn't know the whole story, if she even knows any of it at all. She's all bark and no bite and someday that's going to claw her in the ass…"

Shelby, having had about enough, grabbed for her phone. "Last chance, Cassandra."

Cassandra. Unless they were having some steamy, passionate moment, or Shelby was mad at her, she never called her Cassandra. Not anymore, anyways.

"Wait, Shelby," she grabbed Shelby's arm to take the phone away from her ear, worriedly.

"Tell me," Shelby whispered pleadingly.

"Shelby…" Cassandra whispered brokenly, feeling guilty. Feeling horrible. Hating herself for sleeping with Brody even if it was forever ago. "Baby it was before you came back…it was nothing, truly. Really I just did it to piss off Schwim—Rachel and to get her to be more dedicated—and because of his abs…"

Widening her eyes, this was just making Shelby more concerned. "What did you do, Cass?"

"…Schw—Rachel and her gay wonder…I don't remember his name but her roommate kid, they were going to see their friends perform Grease or something…But she had promised Weston she would do something with him or something like that and wasn't sure she wanted to go to Ohio."

"Tell me!" Shelby prompted, losing her patience and her temper.

"Okay! So I saw the way Weston looked at her, I could see the yearning in her eyes. He was too much of a distraction to her, I could tell she wasn't doing her best…so I told her to go to Ohio with Barbie boy and gave them my free round trip tickets. While she was gone I was working on a dance and asked Weston if he would help me. He was lonely without Berry and I was there. We were dancing, the sun was setting…one thing led to another…then while he was in the shower Rachel called him and I picked up and told her what happened." She watched Shelby carefully as she told the story, feeling like the worst person in the world. How could Shelby be so perfect and she herself be so flawed?!

Shelby was completely outraged, mad at Cassandra for not telling her sooner, jealous and furious that Brody had slept with her girlfriend, and horrified that Cassie had done that to Rachel. "You fucked BRODY?! Knowing about him and Rach?!" Shelby stood up, nearly blinded by anger.

Cassandra knew she shouldn't try to defend herself but at this point she figured she was sleeping alone tonight anyways. Shelby wasn't going to talk to her for days because Shelby was stubborn and Cassie was a fuck up and she just hated that all they ever did was fight anymore. Could they not love like they knew they used to be able to?

"Shelby, technically, he fucked me…look I didn't deliberately throw myself at him, I just didn't say no. He wasn't WITH Rachel, not yet anyways." She stood up as well and tried to take Shelby's hands but Shelby pulled herself away roughly. "It was just a moment that we had. It didn't mean anything and it was a long time ago…he wasn't even GOOD."

She wanted to stab herself for adding that last part. Why did she never think before she spoke?!

"Oh god!" Shelby widened her eyes and covered her ears. "Shut up!"

"Shelby, I'm sorry." Cassandra pleaded. "I wasn't going to tell you because it didn't matter, we weren't together, I didn't even know you ever wanted to see me again and if I had known there was even a possibility of us being together again…"

Mortified, Shelby responded, "I don't care about it because of us. I am pissed because of Rachel. That had to have devastated her! I…I just can't. I need to see her."

"Shelby, look…" She reached for Shelby's arm lightly and to her surprise, Shelby let her take it. "I'm sorry I hurt her. You know I don't think about consequences. I was drunk, I was lonely, and…I didn't think about how it would affect Rachel. Or at the time, I guess I didn't care and I know now how heartless that was of me."

"Do you care now," Shelby studied Cassandra's expression, finding desperate tears swimming in her blue eyes. "Or are you only saying this because you're scared I'm going to leave you?"

"I care, Shelby!" She didn't hesitate to answer. "I really do. I've grown to actually sort of love the girl. She really is a star, and she has your attitude and spunk. I admire her. She's a hard worker and she knows what she wants. She had pissed me off. She called me a YouTube joke and said I had no future and I was just…I was angry."

"Well now I'M angry." Shelby pulled her arm out of Cassandra's grasp, unable to simply forgive her like she was begging her to. "I'm going home. Don't call me. I'll call you."

"Shelby..." Cassandra tried in vain to get Shelby to stay but she knew with a heavy heart that she wasn't going to. That she didn't deserve Shelby's company right now anyways.

Shelby shook her head, triple blinking, still trying to comprehend-trying to sort out her emotions.

"Look, just...give me the night." Shelby was conflicted and the only thing she was absolutely sure of was that she needed to talk to Rachel. "I'll call you tomorrow. I need to talk to Rachel and you need to do some soul searching. You need to learn to call her by her name. You need to figure out how to separate work and home. I want Rach and San and Kurt to be able to come around and not worry about you terrorizing them."

Cass scoffed at the word "terrorize". That was not exactly how she would have worded it, but whatever. She wasn't going to piss Shelby off even more. She was however going to set her straight. As long as everything was out in the open...

"I do not terrorize them! I've barely ever said 20 words to...his name is Kurt, right? Really?" Shelby gave Cass a pointed look and Cass continued with a huff. "Okay, I'm sorry I'm sorry. I've barely ever talked to him! The only time I ever spoke to the girl Rachel's with is because SHE blamed me for-Hello-fucking your daughter! Which, by the way, is something I would NEVER do, drunk or otherwise, and yes. I tortured Rachel at first but it was only because she's so good!" she just wanted Shelby to understand. Shelby used to always be the only one who ever understood. And if Shelby didn't understand, Cass knew she was entirely alone. If Shelby couldn't get it, no one would, and she knew she was horrible at trying to explain things and she knew she was a pain in the ass to communicate with but Shelby never used to mind that. Maybe they had both changed too much since the last time they were together.

Meanwhile Shelby stood, sadly watching as Cass tried desperately to rush for her explanation. She took pity, because she knew not EVERYTHING was entirely Cassandra's fault. Because she was in love with Cassandra, no matter how much trouble that brought upon her. Because deep down she understood why Cassandra did most of the things she did, and no one else knew why. And no one else needed to know-it was their secret and it was one of the reasons why they worked so well together. They balanced each other out. They helped each other carry on.

But tonight she couldn't stand to look at Cassandra for another minute.

Right now, her daughter's feelings were more important.

Shelby sighed.

"I'm done with this conversation." she said, shaking her head. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" and with that she placed a soft, lingering kiss on Cassandra's cheek and walked away from her.

The blonde woman stood in place, staring solemnly as Shelby walked away from her again, wondering how she could have possibly fucked everything up so horribly. She could still feel Shelby's soft kiss burning into her cheek. She dropped down and put her head into her hands, a strong headache coming on. How badly she wanted to go for a bottle of vodka. Or whiskey. Or something equally as strong. But she knew Shelby would never forgive her then.

How strongly she felt pain; pain that she had been able to shove aside all these years kept creeping up on her the longer she and Shelby carried on as they were. Could they never be the same again? Could they not learn to love once more? Maybe they were completely broken. Maybe there was no fixing them.

Shelby's heart shattered as she started walking, at a brisk pace, back to her apartment. She allowed one tear to fall before pushing her emotions back. Feelings about Cassie were going to have to wait. Rachel. Rachel was the one who got hurt the most here. Rachel was the one she needed to talk to. She counted her steps as she walked, calming herself. She didn't slow-she knew that if she did, she would start thinking about it. She couldn't think about it.

Taking out her phone, she dialed Rachel's number. "Rach?"

. . .

Rachel and Santana had been lying on Rachel's bed. After Shelby left, Kurt declared he was going out, and after listening to Santana and Rachel's plea to be careful, he fled away without another word. Something was up with him, both of the girls knew, but they weren't quite sure what it was yet and if he wasn't talking to them about it, it meant he wasn't going to until he felt absolutely ready. Which could be forever.

After apology kisses and caresses and whispers of "It'll be okay," Santana was spooning Rachel, her arms wrapped warmly around the girl's waist. This was still so new to them. Rachel was snuggled in Santana's embrace as they sat in silence, occasionally sneaking little kisses, and figuring out the big mess of emotions inside each of their heads.

They had been doing that for about an hour when Rachel's phone rang, making both of them jump slightly. Rach reached over towards the bedside table and retrieved said phone, answering the call when she realized it was Shelby. "Mom?"

"I'm so sorry, baby," She heard her mother's voice crack, which made her very nervous. If Shelby couldn't keep it together...she and Cassandra must have been fighting again. Rachel sat up, suddenly unnervingly angry at Santana for starting this. "Can...Can you come stay with me tonight? I want to talk to you?" Shelby sounded so vulnerable.

It was a brand new concept for Rachel to wrap her head around-Shelby being vulnerable, that is. Before Cassandra came back into her life, Rachel wasn't sure that Shelby actually understood the meaning of the word "vulnerable" at all.

Rachel, guilty for being upset with Santana and not wanting to leave her and start an argument between them as well, held her hand over phone and whispered so only San could hear her, glancing over at her, "I need to go be with her."

San nodded, seeming to understand within just those 7 words, that Cassie and Shelby were going at it again. She felt triumphant and horrible all at once that it was her fault. One one hand she hated Cassandra and wanted her out, and on the other, she felt bad for Shelby. It wasn't Shelby's fault her girlfriend was a demon from hell.

Rachel responded to Shelby. "Of course, Mom. I'll be right over."

"Thank you, baby. Apologize to San for me, please."

Oh, Shelby. Always thinking about other people. For once I think she just needs to stop thinking, Rachel said in her head.

"She understands," Rach said aloud. "I'll be right there. Are you okay?" she asked worriedly as she reached for her shoes with her feet and started putting them on, holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder. As she did so, Santana placed systematic kisses on her back, shoulders, and neck. Rachel moved to put a jacket on and hastily pack an overnight bag.

"Yes," Shelby responded, sounding confident. But if Rachel could look into her eyes she would know that confidence was superficial. Rachel could relate-recently most of her confidence had been pretty superficial as well. "I just need you."

"Okay," Rachel wasn't going to push matters over the phone; they would talk about it in a little bit. "I'm on my way." she kissed Santana quickly with an apologetic look. "I'm walking out the door now."

"Okay, baby. Just let yourself in when you get here." Shelby hung up the phone as she approached her front door and made her way inside to start the water for some tea.

Rachel cast one more look at Santana, figuring the girl deserved a better explanation. "I'm sorry, San. She sounds really upset."

With a nod, Santana replied, "I'm sorry. I feel somewhat responsible for that, but you know she deserved to know the truth."

Whispering now, because she didn't want to cry in frustration, Rachel said, "I know. But I'm not mad at Miss July for that anymore. Why couldn't you just let it go?"

Shrugging, Santana said without missing a beat, "I hate that woman."

Rachel shook her head, wanting to explain to Santana that it wasn't about her, but she didn't have the energy to get into that, and Shelby was waiting for her. "But my mother loves her and right now she needs me and I have to go." she kissed Santana quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Don't be mad." the last part was a beg, which Santana knew.

Softly, Santana said, "I'm not mad. I'll see you tomorrow." she was slightly disappointed that Rachel was leaving her alone-especially with Kurt gone, NOW who was she going to playfully torture?! But she'd get over it. She hurt Shelby, even if it wasn't her fault, and Shelby deserved a little bit of comfort.

Back at her apartment, Shelby was just finishing making tea for herself and for Rachel. She placed the cups down on the table in the living room and curled up on the couch behind it. As she did so, Rachel walked through the front door, spying her mother on the couch and making her way towards her, shutting the door behind her. She tossed her bag to the side and sat down on the couch across from Shelby. "Mom? Are you okay? What happened?"

Shelby stared down at her feet, feeling sort of numb as she responded, "I went down to the school to talk to Cass. I didn't know what to expect-I almost called Santana to tell me because Cassie wouldn't. Then when she did I couldn't think of anything except for you." She looked up at her daughter; a girl who looked concerned and wide eyed. "I needed to talk to you. I couldn't understand why she would do that to you."

"Because she wanted to get back at me," Rachel admitted sheepishly, remembering the cruel words she had spit at Cassandra out of anger when Cass told her she wasn't sexy enough. "It's always been about revenge with us."

"But I'm not okay with that, Rach." Shelby told her. "You're my child and I don't care how revengeful she is, she knew what she was doing and I'm not okay with her deliberately hurting you like that."

Rachel wasn't sure she actually wanted to defend Cassandra, but she was positive that she didn't want her mother to break up with the woman over this. Shelby loved Cassie too much, Rachel knew, so she had to stick up for her. Someone had to. "She didn't know I'm your child at the time that she did it, though." she pointed out to which Shelby immediately contradicted.

"I don't care. She was considering the fact that you reminded her of me. She shouldn't have done what she did."

"I know that, and you know that, and I'm sure she does, too. I'm over it, mom, really. I've been over it. I'm sorry Santana even brought it up-"

"I'm not. I'm glad I know this."

Shelby's face was hard to read. Rachel couldn't tell if she was actually glad to know, or if she was just glad that another secret had finally been spilled. She couldn't tell if her mother was putting up a strong front. Maybe a small one.

After a small silence, Rachel spoke again. She didn't even think about what she was about to say before she said it. "After I found out Brody's a whore, I actually laughed at the fact that Miss July slept with him. I know they didn't use protection because he's Brody and she's...well she's Cassandra July. I was sure she got some sort of disease from him..." her eyes widened when she realized what she had just said to not only her mother, but Cassandra's girlfriend. "I am SO sorry, I did NOT think before saying that..."

Shelby gasped. She hadn't even taken that into consideration; she was too mad about everything else. She'd had a one track mind to keep her focused but now her thoughts were everywhere. Did Cassie have an STD? Did Shelby get one from Cassie?! Jesus Christ, why did everything have to be so difficult?! Her face went cold and white. "Oh god."

Hurriedly, Rachel tried to cover her tracks. "I'm sure she doesn't have anything, or Brody would be dead by now and she'd be running from the law..."

Shelby nodded, wanting so badly to believe what Rachel was telling her. "You're right." she started thinking logically again after the moment of panic had fled. It was a long time ago. Cassie would've done something about it by now...if she had even bothered to consider the possibility herself. "But it won't hurt to get her checked." and suddenly Shelby busted out laughing.

Rachel laughed too, confused. "Why are we laughing? Mom it was a long time ago, I'm sure she would've gotten-" Rachel laughed even harder at the thought. "Checked out by now." she knew things were serious but imagining Cassandra chasing Brody down for giving her an STD...it was an admittedly hilarious thing to envision.

Shelby was laughing for other reasons. Perhaps it was nervous laughter. Perhaps it was because she didn't want to cry and this was the second best alternative. "I don't know, I just had to laugh," she said, composing herself and turning serious again. "I told her she needed to learn to separate work from home and start calling you all by your names and stop terrorizing you guys."

Rachel shrugged and inwardly laughed at the word "terrorize". Four months ago she would've been so grateful that Cassie was going to stop with the torture that she would've cried tears of joy. By now she was just...okay with it. "I'm used to it. She's like Sue now- a bully, but somehow lovable. I mean, I hate her sometimes, but she's not so bad. I know why she does it." and it was the truth. Cassandra might be a pain in the ass, but she was hands down (besides maybe Mr. Schuester) the best teacher Rachel had ever had.

"Right, but I don't like it," Shelby told her.

Rachel tried to search her mother's eyes. Softly, she asked, "...Why does it bother you so much? It's nothing new to me. I know she does it to make me a better dancer. I know I can sometimes choke under pressure. And apparently so can she, which I think is why she's so hard on me...? And I mean yeah, she's a bitch no doubt, but her class is the only one that's never boring." she said the last part with a little laugh.

Shelby wasn't laughing. "I just worry," she told her daughter carefully. "I worry she's going to cause problems with us. If she gets too out of control, let me know, okay?"

"I will, Mom. She used to be out of control. I mean, I used to complain a lot more about her. But now I just sort of get mad for a second then work a lot harder." by now she had it down to a science.

"Okay." Shelby smiled, seeming much more reassured than she was at the beginning of this heart to heart, and grabbed Rachel's hand, squeezing it lightly. "Thank you for coming, baby."

Rachel smiled back, glad that things were maybe going to work out after all. "You're very welcome. And don't worry, San's not mad that I left." she paused before adding, "If she's upset she'll get over it. I'm sort of upset with her right now anyways."

"Why?" Shelby wondered. "Because of her pushing the subject?"

With a nod, Rachel continued, "I told her it was none of her business. She never listens, you know Santana…but she hates Cassandra SO much. Almost as if that rumor about me and Cassandra was true or something…like she's still jealous."

"Awe, honey." Shelby ran a comforting hand down Rachel's arm, rubbing it softly. "I'm glad she did. I know she hates Cassie but I'm hoping things will get better."

"When?" Rachel gave her mother a desperate look. "I'm so SICK of all of this hostility…"

"Soon." Shelby promised, though she wasn't sure how soon that promise would be fulfilled. Then a funny thought occurred to her, mostly out of the blue. "Maybe we should just lock those two in a room and let them go at it until they can get along."

Rachel laughed as Shelby assumed she would (because it was a hilarious idea) and started to say, "That's ridicu—"before grinning devilishly and putting a finger to her chin. "You know that actually might work."

Grinning back at their newly formulated plan, Shelby said, "I say we set it up."

Rach bit her lip, tentatively. Already overthinking things. "Do we ever want them to kiss us again? You do realize how pissed they'll be?"

Shelby hadn't considered this starting another argument, mainly because she was in the middle of trying to figure out how to resolve all the fighting, and also because she had JUST come up with the plan and hadn't had time to think it all the way through. Finally she decided, "I don't care. I want us to be okay. All of us."

"…Will we all be okay when they're mad at us?" Rachel couldn't help but wonder this was going to trap them in another corner. Shelby wondered the same, but so far it was the only thing they had come up with that both of them liked, and besides, how could they know what would happen until they tried it, right?

"Yes, because they are so much alike they are bound to be besties. Ohhhhhh on second thought…"

Rachel perked up at this. "What do you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure." Shelby admitted. Wouldn't it be horrible if Cassie and Santana became the best of friends and decided to team up against her and Rachel? "How do we do this?" she asked her daughter.

"…What if they get TOO close?" Rachel couldn't help but ask.

"What do you mean?" Now Shelby was confused.

"Mom, they're exactly alike and both are known to have flings with people they find attractive. Neither one ever thinks about consequences. What if they get TOO close?" Rachel worried. How horrible would THAT be?!

Shelby shook her head with more confidence than she actually felt. "I don't think they will risk that."

Rachel was not convinced. "…Okay…"

"Don't worry about that, baby." Shelby told her.

"Okay," Rachel realized she probably sounded foolish. But after the whole huge jealousy fight that had ensued in the past, the idea had admittedly given her a bit of pause. She shook her head. "I know that was stupid to think of…"

"No, it was a valid question," Shelby informed her.

Shrugging, Rachel said, "Well I thought so, yes…"

After a minute of silence, Shelby spoke up. "So are we going to go through with this?"

"I think we are." Rachel whispered back excitedly. "We need to devise a plan."

"Okay." Shelby actually found herself getting excited. "Give me some ideas."

Rachel actually laughed at her mother. "Calm down!" But she was too excited herself. "Well, we could lock them in the dance studio but then they won't have food or a bathroom so maybe that's a bad idea…"

"No that's great!" Shelby contradicted. "They will work it out quicker that way. I don't know about Santana but Cass loves her food."  
"Right, but then they'll fake it so they can get food. They're both actresses." Rachel pointed out.

"Shit." Shelby knew Rachel was right. "I don't know, Rach."

Rachel would not take no for an answer. This had to work. They ALL needed to start getting along. So they could be a proper family. "I guess we'll just have to be really stern with them and have good judgment?"

"Okay." Shelby agreed that was a good plan. Besides it being the only plan they have. "When? Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow sounds perfect." Rachel nodded.

"Okay. So now that's settled…" she unlocked her phone and checked the clock. Not as late at night as she had thought it was, but still getting late. "Now what? Are you tired? Want to watch a movie? Wanna call San?"

"I…" Rachel thought about her options. It wasn't every day that she spent the night with Shelby, even if she spent most days talking to her constantly. "I'm not really tired…but if you are we can sleep. Watching a movie sounds fun…but I really should call San first…" she was still feeling slightly guilty (ever since Rachel could remember, even when things weren't her fault, she always felt like they were) and was hoping Santana wasn't mad at her. Especially if they were going to top it off the next day by locking her in a studio with her mortal enemy.

"Okay how's this…you call Santana. I'll take a bath, then we can watch a movie." Shelby suggested, reading into the hesitation in Rachel's chocolate brown eyes.

"Okay…" Rachel had to ask. "Are you gonna call Cassie?" she didn't want them to still be fighting. She felt like it was her fault. If she hadn't shown how much she liked Brody…if she hadn't pissed off Cassandra and called her a YouTube joke…

"No." Shelby replied quickly, before she even thought about it. Was she really ready to face her true emotions and talk to Cass? "Not yet."

"Mom…she really loves you. I just want to make sure you know that. She slept with Brody to upset me. I'm sure if she'd known it was going to cause so much trouble…"

"I know, baby," Shelby wondered why on earth Rachel thought it was her job to stand up for Cassandra. "I told her I'd call her tomorrow."

"Oh. Well okay." Rach decided she wasn't going to push it anymore. Maybe her mom just wasn't ready to talk to Cass.

"It's going to be okay, honey," Shelby promised, standing and placing a kiss to Rachel's forehead. "I love you. Go call your girl."

"I love you too." Rachel smiled up at her. "Okay." She picked up her phone to call Santana, who answered on the third ring. "San?"

"Hey, Rach." She sounded bored. And tired. But mad? Not so much.

"I'm sorry I just left like that."

Rachel watched as her mother slipped into her bedroom to get clothes and what-not before walking into the bathroom, winking at Rach before closing the door behind her.

"It's okay, I understand." And she actually, miraculously sounded quite understanding. "Your mom needed you."

"Are you mad?" Rachel couldn't help but ask. She supposed it was habit after years and years of constantly bickering with Santana—both of them doing so to hide true feelings.

"Not at all, love."

Rachel was continuously surprised by how sweet Santana was proving to be.

Maybe she and Cassandra were more alike than she and Shelby had noticed.

"…okay. I just feel so awful. Everyone's been so tense lately…mom's really mad at Miss July." She switched the phone to her other ear and half-whispered the last part, not wanting Shelby to overhear.

"She should be." Santana's hard nature was back. "July's a bitch."

"Hey." Rachel scolded automatically. She was surprised at herself. Maybe she was spending more time with Shelby than she thought. "Stop that. Please? We're all going to be around each other a lot and you two need to work out your differences soon."

"I have nothing to say to that woman."

"San, you are the one who started fighting with her. She didn't even know you existed."

"That may be true. But still. I don't like her." Rachel heard Santana let out a sigh.

Rach figured now was as good a time as ever to ask, softly, "Why do you hate her so much?"

Without hesitation, Santana responded, "She's mean to my girl and I don't like that."

But no. There had to be more to it than that. Rachel knew there was.

"She's hard on me but no worse than Sue ever was and I don't see you bitching out your beloved cheerleading coach every day." Rachel's tone was slightly bitter. "Why can't we all just get along?"

"I just don't like her, Rachel. I'm sorry. I just don't."

"I think the two of you are just so alike you clash." Rachel finally admitted to her.

Santana's defenses popped up immediately. "I am nothing like her!"

"Okay! Okay." Rachel didn't want to start another fight. She was so tired of fighting. "If you say so." She hoped tomorrow would be the last fight, for a while, at least.

"Ok."

"I'm going to let you go, okay? I'll see you tomorrow, baby."

"Yeah. Good night."

"Goodnight, San." Rachel set her phone beside her, sadly.

. . .

Shelby started the water for her bath, adding a few drops of lavender bubble bath before climbing in, phone in hand. She had been thinking about Cassie and how badly she wished Cassie was in the tub with her. How she ached for Cassie's touch. No matter how upset she had been earlier. She opened a new text and entered the number she knew by heart into the "send to" field before typing,

**Hey, Cassie.**

Cassie had been pacing the house, waiting. For what, she wasn't sure. She was certain Shelby said she would call the NEXT day, not that night, because she was probably way too pissed to even think about Cass right now. She fell back onto her bed in defeat, longing for Shelby's body next to hers, wishing she wasn't such a fuck up.

When her phone lit up and she saw who was texting her she nearly screamed.

_Shelby?_ She wrote back.

**I talked to Rachel.**

_…__Oh? I suppose she still hates me for what I did._

**No. She doesn't. She's actually convinced me into not being angry anymore. I'm sorry I blew up.**

Cassandra could not for the life of her comprehend what was happening. Shelby wasn't mad anymore? Was this some kind of a joke? Was this a test?  
_…You're…you're not mad?_

She was in a complete state of disbelief. It wasn't like Shelby to just stop being mad about something. Especially something she had gotten into such a state of distress about.

**No. I miss you, baby.**

_Just like that? What's the catch?_

She wasn't quick to admit how badly she missed Shelby too, just in case it was some sort of a trap. Shelby was tricky like that.

**Nothing. I just had to check on Rachel.**

_Shelby…_ Cassandra was very cautious with how she worded this. _You were furious with me. Please don't make this one of those things where you pretend you're okay with it now and six months later you blow up out of nowhere…_

**I won't. I was worried about Rachel, but she is okay with it at this point so I'm okay. Yeah, I'm a tad bit upset, but my love for you outweighs the anger.**

Cassandra wasn't going to go into why Shelby was a tad bit upset. If Shelby had wanted her to know why, she would've told her why and she figured she would sooner or later. Cassandra chose later.

_…__Awe. Truly? Because I love you so very much and I'm sorry I keep fucking things up. I feel so guilty…_

**Don't. It's over. I love you too baby. But I need to hurry with this bath so I can go watch a movie with Rachel.**

Since their moment of anger was over, Cassandra felt it was perfectly appropriate to type,

_Oh…you're…in the bath? ;)_

**Yes. With the lavender bubble bath.**

Shelby knew that was Cassandra's favorite as well.

_Mmm. I wish I could join you._

The thought of it gave Shelby good tingles all over the place.

**Me too baby. Maybe tomorrow night?**

_Hmm. Well I don't know, is this a formal invitation?_

**Yes. Please come over tomorrow so we can ****_properly_**** make up.**

_A proper make up. Now I'm practically shivering in anticipation. I hope Rachel knows how lucky she is tonight because tomorrow you're all mine._

Shelby nearly swooned just thinking about it. Oh, the things love did to her.

**As am I. Well, have a good night, baby. I love you.**

_I love you too. Don't have too much fun without me._

. . .

"Mom? Hey." Rach smiled as Shelby walked out of the bathroom in clean pajamas, looking cozy and warm and lighthearted. "Santana's okay." She let her know.

"That's good." Shelby smiled. "So is Cassie."

"Oh!" Rachel was clearly surprised but had admittedly sort of figured her mother would cave in and call. Love did that to her. "You called her?" she asked for clarification.

"No, I texted her," Shelby said. "We made up."

"Oh," Rachel smiled. "Well that's good. I hate all of this fighting." She shrugged her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Me too, honey." Shelby agreed before asking, "So, did you decide on a movie?" She sat on the couch and curled her legs underneath her.

"Um…" Truthfully, Rachel hadn't thought about what movie and was still slightly concerned about Santana. They hadn't ended on the most amazing note. Things were still obviously sort of off between them. "Uh…Would Funny Girl be pushing it?"

"Yes. Especially with your audition being so soon. How about Mamma Mia?"

Grinning at her mother, Rach responded, "Now that's a decision I can live with. Something we can actually agree on." She paused before asking a question that had been eating at her all night. "Do you think Kurt's okay?"

"Do you want to call him, baby?"

"I…" Rach hesitated. "No, no. We need this time together. It's just…Didn't he seem quiet, for Kurt?" and the fact that he just got up and left out of nowhere and Santana didn't say he was back home yet.

"Baby, I will still be here if you want to check on him. It's up to you."

"I'm not sure he'd say right out if he was upset about something, Mom…that's just it. He's always worrying about everyone else. I wonder if Blaine's okay. Or maybe all of this fighting is putting him on edge. I hate that we sort of just shoved him aside…" and now he's off in the middle of New York City late at night, totally and completely alone…

"I understand that, honey. It's been a crazy few weeks."

Rachel nodded quickly in agreement than thought it over. Kurt seemed pretty upset—it wasn't likely he'd answer his phone anyways. He was smart and tough and resourceful—he knew what he was doing. "But I think…I'll just leave him alone tonight. He seemed to have a lot on his mind. Or was purposely distracting himself. Either way, what was off about him is he seemed to actually want to be…left alone. Or maybe I'm just reading him wrong…"

"Maybe. You won't know until you talk to him." She pointed out, but saw the sad look in Rachel's eyes and figured she'd just let it go. "Tomorrow?"

Rachel nodded. "Tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to watch Mamma Mia with my Mama." She grinned at Shelby.

Shelby grabbed her daughter's hand and gave it a little squeeze as she got off of the couch to put the movie in. Smiling, Rach cuddled into the couch, finding a blanket on the back of it and pulling it over her."

"I love you Rach." Shelby told her as the movie started and she held her daughter in her arms. Something she regretted not being able to do when Rachel was younger.

"I love you too, Mom."

Both women were anxious for what all would transpire the next day.

**Soooo...What do you think? Will Shelby and Rachel's plan work? Will Santana and Cassie ever be able to get along? Will they be mad at their significant others? And what the hell's going on with Kurt? Let us know what you think! Love always!**


	13. Trapped

Chapter 13: Trapped

Shelby woke the next morning feeling anxious. She'd barely slept at all trying to work out the kinks that were still very present in the plan that she and Rachel had come up with the night before. She knew they had minimal time to get everything together—especially if they planned on making it happen that day. After stretching her arms, legs, and back, she yawned and turned to see that Rachel had left the spot where she had fallen asleep. The tea pot was whistling in the kitchen. Rach always had been an early riser…

"Morning, Rach," Shelby dressed quickly and walked into the kitchen to find her daughter preparing a cup of tea for each of them. Shelby stretched again and sighed at herself. She needed to limber up more if she was going to be dating the dancer again.

Rachel turned to see her mother and smiled, full of energy and completely ready to set their devilish idea into action, though on the inside she was just as nervous about it as Shelby was. "Hey, mom." She greeted Shelby. "Tea?" she offered out to her.

"Yes, please." Shelby took it, grateful that her daughter always seemed to be a step ahead of the game. "Sleep well?" she wondered if Rach had spent most of the night restless as she had.

Though part of the reason why Shelby hadn't slept much was she kept thinking of Cassie snuggling up next to her. They hadn't been back together for long but she was already so accustomed to the blonde lying against her at night. It was difficult to get proper sleep without her anymore.

Not that they slept much while they were next to each other, mind you.

Rachel shrugged as an answer to her mother's question. She'd slept anything but well. She had only crashed at all because her brain had forced her eyes shut and made her stop worrying, for a few hours maximum, about what was going to happen the next day. "Um…yeah…you?"

Shelby had been up later than she'd like to admit to her daughter, thinking not only about their plan, but the fight she had had the night before with Cassie as well. "Yeah. I guess."

Though Cassie and Shelby had made up, Shelby knew they hadn't truly "made up" and though they had plans to do so later on, she had a gut feeling that would be null and void after locking her in a studio all day… She had second guessed the thought more than once. As had Rachel, who had only just gotten Santana to admit she even LIKED Rachel, so who was Rach to think she wouldn't really get mad about this?

"I'm admittedly very nervous," Rach bit her lip. "But what else can we do, at this point? I mean, locking them in a room is a little extreme…but we aren't known for our timid-ness by any means…"

"Exactly. I have thought about this for most of the night. Should we give them a chance to talk it out with us present, and if things get ugly move them into the studio to fight it out?"

Rachel pondered this idea for a moment. "I guess we could TRY that…but you and I both know we'll end up in the studio anyways…"

"Well," Shelby took a breath and drank some more of her tea. "Let's just try the conversation first. Save us all some trouble. We can lay out the rules first, that way they know what to expect if things go sour…"

Shelby was clearly too tired to think properly. Didn't she know that would ruin everything? Rachel pointed it out to her.

"Mom, there's no way we're going to get them into that studio if they have any clue about going in there ahead of time."

"You're right." Shelby shook her head, decidedly.

"Least of all Cassandra…"

"Yeah." Shelby bit her finger in contemplation, leaning her head on her arm. "So let's call them both over for lunch and have them talk…and if things get bad, I can take Cassie to the studio to "dance off the stress" and you could find a way to get San there."

"Okay…" Rachel sipped on her tea. "…and then what? You'll have to steal her keys. And we need to get ahold of a camera and the PA system so we can monitor them and be able to communicate."

Shelby had refocused herself and started to think a little more clearly, trying to wipe away any and all guilty thoughts.

"We could set it up before lunch. I have a spare key to the studio and I have some PA equipment and cameras from back during my Vocal Adrenaline days. I used it to spy on Dakota when he was with my kids. So after we get some tea in our systems we can go set up and call them over."

Rachel raised an impressed eyebrow at her mother when she heard the news that Shelby had spied on Dakota. She smirked. Her mother was kind of a bad ass. In her own concealed way. "You spied on Dakota?" she had to make sure she'd heard correctly.

Smiling back, Shelby nodded. "He was a phenomenal choreographer but his personality sucked ass." She told her daughter matter-of-factly.

This comment received a laugh out loud from Rachel. She'd never heard her mom talk like that. Perhaps Cassandra was bringing out a different side of her. "I agree 100%. We wanted Mr. Schue back immediately. Dakota was Santana's idea."

"Sounds like it."

"So…" Rachel finished up the rest of her tea, as did Shelby. "I guess, let's get to work." She paused, slightly concerned. "You're not still mad at Ms. July, are you?"

"No." Shelby let her know, trying to reassure her. Though she was never sure about herself and Cassandra anymore. "I love her too much to ever stay mad…how are you and San?"

"We're good. Just…new. Figuring things out…"

At this, Shelby raised an eyebrow and smiled all-knowingly. Catching her mother's teasing expression, Rachel was quick to defend, "NOT like that!"

Shelby chuckled. "Okay baby girl. Things will get easier." She winked. "Come help me get the equipment."

With a slight blush, Rachel smiled and followed her mother out the front door. It was going to be a very crazy day.

. . .

Around mid-day, when Santana still hadn't heard from Rachel, she decided to call her cell.

"Hey, baby, what's up?" she asked once Rachel answered.

Rach grinned upon hearing Santana's voice for the first time that day. San's voice always managed to give her shivers. Fantastic shivers. "Hey you!" Rach figured it was perfect timing. She and Shelby had just finished setting everything up and were heading back to the apartment to make lunch. "Nothing much. Shelby and I were just wondering, actually, if you wanted to come chill and have lunch at the apartment."

She hoped "chill" would be an understatement.

"Uh," Santana rubbed her belly dramatically, standing in the middle of her, Kurt, and Rach's apartment. "Yes! Sounds good. Snixx is pretty hungry."

Rachel laughed. "Just Snixx, huh?"

"Nah," San relented. "I am too."

"Haha. Okay. Just checking." Things between them was still slightly awkward. After years of knowing each other and Rachel thinking Santana hated her, it was weird to just charge into a relationship like this. Rachel held her thumb up to Shelby to let her know their plan was set in motion. She smiled as they made it back through the apartment door. Shelby moved to start preparing lunch. "So, I'll see you in about 20 minutes?"

"Yeah. See you then, sweet cheeks." San grinned and hung up, spinning around to see Kurt smirking at the term "sweet cheeks". She rolled her eyes at him and went into her part of the apartment to get dressed. She decided on a pair of skinny jeans, black stiletto boots and an over the shoulder red shirt.

Shelby contemplated at the stove for a minute, unsure what to make that everyone would eat. "What should we eat for lunch?" she asked Rach.

"Shouldn't you maybe call Ms. July?"  
It was still odd to hear her daughter call Cassie "Ms. July".

"Call her Cassie or Cassandra or something. You don't have to be formal, Rach. She's dating your mom. Just don't call her that in class. She may come unglued." With a laugh, she reached for her phone.

Meanwhile she could've sworn she heard Rachel murmur something along the lines of, "…okay….still weird that you're dating my teacher…" which Shelby ignores. Rachel was the one who wanted them to get back together in the first place, wasn't she?!

Cass picked up on the first ring.

"Hey sweet thing. Sleep well without me?" Cassandra's tone carried slight teasing.

"Not at all. I have a question for you," Shelby didn't beat around the bush.

"I…might have an answer?" Cass laughed quizzically.

Taking a deep breath, because she was slightly nervous, she said, "Rach and I are pretty hungry and were wondering if you would like to join us for lunch in about 20 minutes?"

"At…your apartment?"

"Yeah. I promise it won't be too healthy." She wasn't being too bitter, she didn't think.

"Well thank god for tiny miracles. I'll be right over."

Shelby could practically hear the wink in Cassandra's tone.

"Okay. See you then." There were no traces of any fight that had transpired between the two. But it always appeared that way.

"I love you, Shelby." Cassandra's tone turned more sincere. She felt horrible for all the arguments they'd been having.

"I love you too, Cassandra." Shelby had to let her know. She didn't want to argue all the time either. They just had to work on getting used to each other again. It had been a very long time since they'd been in a relationship, and they were trying to pick up where they had left off. The problem with that was that it wasn't so simple. "Very much."

"Very VERY much," Cass smiled.

Shelby laughed. "Hang up and get your sexy ass over here." Rachel looked up at her mother, surprised at her. Before, Shelby was often so reserved. It was interesting to see who she really was. She'd never known her mother's vulnerable side.

"Mmm. Suddenly I don't mind being told what to do." Cass said, sultry, on the other end of the phone. She hung up before Shelby could respond. Always had to have the last word.

Shelby could feel Rachel staring at her in amusement. She glanced over at her as a blush made its way to her cheeks. Talking to Cass always made some risqué stuff come out of her mouth. "So what are we making? It can't be too healthy. Cass would kill me." She tried to quickly change the subject.

Smirking, Rachel was NOT going to let her mother get away that easily. "Is that a blush I see? I do recall you calling Cassandra "sexy ass" only moments ago…I can't imagine what she could've said back to make THE Shelby Corcoran blush…"

"Hush now you," Shelby bumped hips with her daughter. "Or I'll start picking on you, too. I do believe you're new to this whole lesbian thing. I could tell you some stories…"

"….oh?" Rachel was curious and terrified all at once.

"Better yet," Shelby reached a water glass down for each of them. She turned so she could see her daughter's slight fear in her eyes when she continued with, "I'll get Cassie to tell you."

Rachel's eyes widened like saucers. "Oh dear god, no."

"Then I suggest you drop it and start making lunch." Shelby grinned, feeling triumphantly wicked. "We have 10 minutes."

"That's not much time…Um…pasta? Vegetarian spaghetti?"

"Sounds good." Shelby agreed. "Start the noodles."

Tem minutes went by too quickly for them both and suddenly there was a knock at the door. Rach went to go open it and found that it was Cassie. She couldn't help her face falling slightly. She had hoped it would be Santana to greet her with one of those kisses she was discovering she loved so much. Before Rachel could even speak, Cass scoffed and smirked. "It's so great to see you too, mini C."

Hearing Cassie's voice and yearning for a kiss, Shelby dropped what she was doing and headed to the door. "Hey, baby." She placed a gentle kiss on her lover's lips, missing her touch. Feeling horrible for all of the fighting. Just wanting them to be a couple again.

"Hey, sweetheart." Cass placed her hands softly on Shelby's hips while receiving said kiss. "I've missed you." She whispered, an intimate phrases between the two of them.

Rachel tried her best not to gag and walked back to the kitchen. She faked a gag anyways just to see if she could get a rise out of Shelby. Shelby gave a knowing look at Rachel and Rach shrugged. Shelbs turned back to Cass and sighed, just happy to see her and be able to hold her again. Feeling guilty for what was bound to happen later.

"Ignore her," Shelby laughed. "I've missed you too, Cass. SO much." She kissed her again. "Let's never fight again, okay?"

"Don't we always say that?" Cassandra's tone was desperate.

"Yes," Shelby agreed. "But I NEEEED you in able to sleep at night."

A low chuckle resounded in the blonde's chest and Shelby knew what was coming next. "Oh? How badly do you need me to help you sleep at night?"

"Stop it," Shelby smacked her playfully. "I'm being serious. I can't function without you."

"I know." Cassandra pulled Shelby closer. "I know. I need you, too."

Rach interrupted from the kitchen, "Mom, noodles aren't supposed to boil over the top of the pot like that and I'm tending to sauce!"

"Okay." Shelby replied. "Sorry, Rach." She smiled at Cass. "Go into the living room. Not too much longer."

Cass sighed dramatically, but playfully. "Well alright."

There was another knock at the door, and Cass looked up at it, confused before realizing that Rachel must have also invited Santana. Shelby asked Cass to get it and Rachel looked up at Shelby like she just suggested they all go jump off of the Empire State Building.

"Never mind, Cass." Shelby turned the noodles off and moved to answer the door. "Hey, San!" she gave her a hug. "Thanks for letting Rach come over last night."

"No prob, C." San shrugged it off. "I get it, really." She glanced over Shelby's shoulder. "I see your lovely girlfriend is here also." She double blinked. "Have I missed something? Was this supposed to be some kind of double date?"

"Maybe. We just want to talk to both of you together. Promise. Rach is in the kitchen." Shelby informed her.

San called out to Rach. "Hey baby!"

Rach called back. "Hey!"

Looking back at Shelby, Santana sighed, having a feeling she knew where this was going. She hated Cassandra. She didn't want to talk about why or explain herself. She just wanted the damned blonde woman out of all of their lives.

"Please don't tell me this is some sort of creepy intervention. Santana doesn't do interventions. You know that."

"No, honey." Shelby tried to soothe the eager-to-kill Latina. "Just talking." She placed a hand on Santana's shoulder reassuringly.

Rolling her eyes, anything BUT reassured, Santana managed a, "Whatever you say." She went to sit down on the opposite end of the couch from Cassie and muttered, "This is totally an intervention."

Cassandra rolled her eyes back in silent agreement. Finally someone one around here was being logical. "A woman can only take so many of those." She said softly, sarcastically.

With a scoff, San said, "Glad we can actually agree on one thing…"

Meanwhile, Shelby had gone back to Rachel after hearing the exchange in the living room. "They've caught on to our plan." She mumbled into her daughter's ear.

"Just stay calm. They think it's an intervention, they have no idea what our plan is and as long as you don't MENTION it, they won't…" Rach mumbled back.

"Okay." Shelby knew her daughter was right. She was just worried about all of the fighting. "Let's get the table set."

"Deal."

A few minutes later and dinner is finished. Both mother and daughter made their way out to the living room to get their girls.

"Cassie!" Shelby grabbed her hand and pulled her into her side. "Come on, baby. Let's eat."

"Gladly." Cassie's stomach growled. "Clearly, I'm starving." She laughed lightly. She hadn't eaten much that day, by Cassie standards.

Shelby laughed back. "The way I've seen you eat, I find that hard to believe."

Cass smacked her playfully and pecked a kiss to her lips. They sat down next to each other as Shelby whispered,

"You know I love you."

"I love you, too."

Shelby was being particularly vulnerable today and Cassandra couldn't for the life of her figure out why that was.

Rach and Santana did something to the same extent and sat down across from the older women, and after getting settled, Santana sighed.

"Okay. So what's all of this about?" she had to ask.

"Well," Shelby started after glancing over at Rachel. "We know you tow have something going on between you and we would like to try to get it figured out. Peacefully."

Another eye roll. Shelby was always so naïve, wasn't she? Always trying to remain "peaceful" and "collected". When was she going to learn that life wasn't always perfect?

San scoffed. "There is nothing going on between us. I just don't like her."

Cassandra nodded fervently. "And I just don't care."

"But why, San?" Shelby demanded to know.

"Don't we all know why? Must we go into this again?" Santana threw her hands up into the air in protest.

"I just….ugh…" Shelby wasn't sure how she wanted to word this, even though she'd done nothing but think about it for the past few weeks. "Look, San. You are like my daughter and I love you so much but I also love Cassie. And I know it would make things so much easier if we were ALL able to get along because she's not going anywhere and neither are you. The holidays are coming up, and I want to be able to have all of us together without tension."

"I don't TRUST her," San shot back, automatically so defensive. "I don't like her demeanor, I don't like the way she treats my girlfriend, and I think she is a rotten person. I've MET people like her in Lima Heights and they were NOT nice people."

Cass decided to interject here, "Um, can we not talk about her like she isn't here?!"

Shelby grabbed Cassie's hand for support—for acknowledgement. "I understand that. But give her a chance. If not for me, then for Rachel? Even SHE is trying harder than you are."

"So really this is just a direct stab towards me." San laughed. "Great. Why the hell not?!"

"Just a CHANCE, Santana—"

"A chance." She scoffed. "Right. A chance."

Cass turned her head to look at Shelby. "You know, Shelbs, it's really not worth fighting about because I really don't care if she likes me or not…can't we all just learn to live with that? I'm sort of under the impression the only people she really likes are you and Rachel."

"And Kurt, Brittany, and Dani." Rachel piped up.

San turned her direct attention to Shelby, staring her down, hard. To try to get the stubborn as hell woman to understand what she was saying for once. "Do you know what happens when you give people like her a chance, Shelby? You just get hurt."

The comment struck Cassandra harder than Santana had intended it. The Latina knew nothing about Cassandra or the woman's past and feelings. But she knew enough to drive her up the wall. Cassandra, however, crossed her arms and pretended to be unfazed.

"Well I'm willing to take that risk." Shelby stared back just as hard, if not harder. "I love her, San! She's not that bad, honey."

At this point, Cassandra was getting frustrated that she was being completely ignored and talked about like she wasn't even in the room. "Yeah," she mimicked. "I'm not that bad, honey."

This made Santana scowl. "Don't call me honey."

"Come on, now." Rachel sighed.

Rolling her eyes, Cass threw her hands up in defeat. "You know what? This is a joke." she shook her head. Santana was pissing her off more than anybody knew. She was frustrated. Her head hurt. She wanted a drink. She knew she couldn't have one. She was stuck with this girl who obviously would always make it known that she wasn't liked. It wasn't her fault that Santana's favorite game was attacking people. But the Latina was damn good at it. "If she doesn't like me then she doesn't fucking like me. And frankly, I'm not so fond of her, either."

"Obviously we aren't going to get anywhere with you two." Shelby replied, coolly.

Now Cassandra was disappointed. The last thing she wanted to do was fight with Shelby again because of Santana. "Shelby, baby, I don't want to fight with you."

"We aren't fighting, Cass." Shelby closed her eyes with a sigh. "I'm just tired of this drama."

Everybody nearly scoffed at THAT comment—they all lived and breathed drama and Shelby knew it as well. Without drama they'd all be fish out of water.

"Baby," Cass tried again. "Santana and I just weren't meant to get along."

"Yeah, I guess." Shelby was starting to give up. She hadn't wanted to resort to the dance studio idea but they were giving her no other option.

"Shelby, don't sigh at me…"

"I'm just tired of it, Cass." She looked directly into Cassandra's eyes; her gaze serious and pleading. Cassandra knew what Shelby wanted. She wanted to give it to her. She just wasn't sure how to, at this point.

"I'm sorry…what do you want me to do?" her eyes screamed she'd try to do anything that Shelby asked. But if it involved getting along with Santana…well it takes 2 to tango…

"I want you to care." Shelby stated simply. "Because I care."

"Honey…" suddenly Rachel and Santana were silent; neither one wanted to upset Shelby more and they knew that at this point, Cassandra's comfort would be the only thing that would help. Cassandra regretted saying she didn't care earlier. She knew Shelby was going to take it to heart the minute she said it. But words couldn't be taken back. "I do care. I do. I care because you care. But there's not much I can do if she doesn't like me, now is there?"

"You could talk to her. Try to fix it." Shelby suggested.

"Yes, because you see how nicely THAT works," Cassandra was running out of patience and starting to get another migraine. "See, watch." She turned to Santana. "Why don't you like me?"

"Because you're a bitch." San replied simply.

Cass nodded. "Noted. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Santana glared at her. "Apology not accepted."

At a loss, Shelby spoke up. "Rach, can I see you in the kitchen?"

Rachel nodded slowly and Cass and Santana both looked up quizzically but said nothing. Shelby and Rach walked to the kitchen and Rach spoke up first.

"This is clearly not working."

"Right." Shelby agreed, putting a hand to her forehead. "So why don't you take San for a walk and I'll get Cassie to the studio. I'll text you when we get there."

Giving another nod, Rach agreed. "Deal. Do you think they'll be mad at us?"

"At this point, I don't care." Shelby sighed. She didn't want to start another fight but things had to get worse before they could ever get better, right?

Taking a deep breath, Rachel said, "Okay. Let's do this."

"Okay."

When they walked back out to the dining room area, however, they found Cassandra and Santana arguing it out. They should've known better than to leave the two of them alone again.

San was standing, leaning across the table. "Why did you have to come back into Shelby's life?! You're just going to hurt her. Then I'm going to have to end you."

I'M NOT GOING TO HURT HER. Cassandra raged on the inside. THIS IS WHAT'S HURTING HER, ALL OF THIS ARGUING! She had promised herself she WOULDN'T hurt Shelby again. Not ever.

Cass laughed darkly, keeping her composure. "Sweetheart, the only thing you're going to "end" is this tough bitch act of yours." If Santana was going to strike where it hurt, so was Cassie. "You need to back up before you hurt yourself." She stood as well, crossing her arms over her chest, defensively.

"I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent. I cut a bitch and ask questions later. I'm not scared of your prissy ass."

_Prissy?! My ass is NOT prissy! Why don't you ask your good friend, SHELBY?_

There was no way in hell she was going to give Santana the satisfaction.

Cassie shook her head. "Bitch, I'm from NEW YORK. Fuck Lima Heights Adjacent! Do you know what goes ON in New York? Things that make Lima Heights look like a god damn fairy tale."

"Yeah, if the fairy tales were written by the dark brothers Grimm."

"Honey, please. I have a cousin who's from Flint, Michigan: murder capital of the world. I used to spend my summers with her, do you know what we used to do?" She cocked her head to the side and slammed her hands down on the table. "Trek down to Detroit and fuck with people just for fun."

That was when Santana lunged across the table to hit Cassie. Cass reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her before she could. Shelby screamed from across the room before either could hurt the other.

"ENOUGH!"  
Santana jumped back, almost immediately.

A low growl rumbled deep inside of Cassie's throat. She was alcohol-less and she was pissed. Rachel's eyes widened nervously at the scene. If this was how they were going to act at lunch, how were they going to behave in the studio?!

"I'M DONE." Shelby continued.

Everyone went silent and stared at Shelby, their hearts pounding.

"This has got to end. Right now! Do you not remember a few weeks ago when your fighting caused my panic attack?!"

Cass immediately got defensive. Sure, a lot of things were her fault but this was definitely not one of them. "I'M not the one who started that! It was LOPEZ who decided to waltz up to me in MY studio and insist I was fucking your daughter!"

Both Cassandra and Rachel shuddered at the thought.

"Rach," Shelby sighed. "Take Santana out of here. I need to talk to Cassie. Alone."

Rachel turned to Santana. "Let's go for a walk." She suggested.

"Fine by me," Santana slipped her arm into Rachel's and the left the apartment.

Shelby turned to Cass. "Go sit in the living room and let me clean up. Then we will talk."

Cass sighed. "Shelby, I'm not a little girl you can command. Look…I know I'm always fucking everything up but we have to stop treating each other like this, we were happy once—"

"I'm not mad at you, baby," Shelby kissed Cassie's lips, tentatively. "Just give me a minute to clean up. I swear. San too it too far."

Hesitantly, Cass said, "…Okay…"

"I love you, Cassandra."

Cassandra. Cass listened to the way Shelby said her name. It rolled off of her lips like some romantic, sexy language. It was absolute music to her ears and did blissful things to Cassandra's body, as well as her state of mind. Nobody else in the world could say her name just like that.

She folded her legs under her on the couch and thought about Santana's words earlier. She knew that she was a bitch. That was nothing new. She'd trained herself that way for a reason. And she'd liked to think she was starting to let up on Rachel…but she was constantly worried about hurting Shelby. About Shelby leaving her again.

Shelby finished cleaning the dining room and the kitchen before joining Cass on the couch. "So…do you want to go dance?"

Cass double blinked. The mood change was very sudden but she didn't care; all she heard was "dance". "You…really? You want to dance with me?"

"Yes. Let's go to the studio," Shelby suggested.

Cassandra got excited, thinking about a possible tango with her lover. "…okay. You're…really not mad?"

"No, baby." She pulled Cassie closer, against her. "Now take your girlfriend dancing."  
Kissing her warmly, Cass relented. If Shelby insisted she wasn't mad, then she wasn't mad. "Okay." She whispered.

. . .

"San, you've really got to stop this. You're pissing off my mom."

"I'm sorry," the two of them walked down the busy New York side-walks, unsure of their destination. "You know when Snixx comes out I'm no longer in control."

"I don't want to hear about Snixx. You need to leave Cassandra alone. I know we don't like her but my mom is in love with her. Big time. You need to back off. At least TRY to be cordial…"

"I don't like her, Rach. I can't STAND that bitch."

"I know that," Rachel groaned. "And so does mom. AND Cassandra. Can't you just let it go? What has she ever actually done to you?"

"She…she hurt you and your mom. I don't want her to have that chance again." Santana didn't love much in this world. But she was going to protect what she did love.

"Second chances, San….don't you believe in those anymore? I mean, you used to hurt me all the time, but now look at us." She hadn't wanted to resort to that.

"Do you have to bring that up?"

They both walked at a brisk pace. Block after block.

"San, all I'm saying is that you need to give her a chance. It's something you've never ACTUALLY done."

"I don't know, Rach."

"Why not?"

"I don't like her. How many times do I have to tell you that?!"

There had to be something more there, Rachel thought to herself. Something none of them were seeing. "I understand that—"

. . .

Shelby and Cassie made it to the studio and Shelby walked into a corner. She stripped down to show off a tight black leotard with a flirty mini skirt. When the hell had she changed into THAT?! Cass wondered to herself, licking her lips slightly.

_Hot damn._

She stared, smirked, and smiled, changing into her own leotard before Shelby turned around. Just as Shelby was turning around, Cass was pulling up the rest of the leotard. She caught a glimpse of the blonde's bare back and her heart skipped a beat. "Alright, baby. Pick the song and the dance."

Hitting the stereo on, Cass took Shelby's hands in hers and dragged her closer in one quick movement so their bodies were pressed together. "You're too far away." She whispered warmly.

Shelby pressed herself closer to Cassie, though it was hardly physically possible.

Cass smiled, feeling every inch of Shelby's body pressing against her. "That's a little better. Are you still familiar with a tango? Or have your two left feet returned to you?"

Shelby grinned at her, loving the feel of Cassie against her for the first time in a long time. "Shut up and dance, baby."

Cass emitted a low chuckle and started to lead.

The song Toxic blasted through the stereo.

…_Baby can't you see, I'm calling. A guy like you should wear a warning. It's dangerous_

Cass swooped Shelby down in one fast motion, catching the brunette off guard.

_I'm falling._

She pulled her back up and dragged her close, flicking a quick leg around Shelby's left and back before the end of the beat. She changed the word "guy" in her head mentally, as she and Shelby had grown used to doing whenever they found a love song they liked that they wanted to share with the other.

As the dance continued, Shelby was reintroduced to Cassandra's passion. Good god, did it show. The blonde was in her element here; sexy and wild and free and elegant. She lead Shelby around the room with dips and slides and sultry hip movements that Shelby didn't know she was still able to do. She had missed this so very much.

After the dance had finished, they were both breathless from passion and sport. Shelby pulled Cass close, turned on and feeling needy, before kissing her passionately. "I've missed dancing with you, baby." It was so truthful that it hurt.

Cass melted into her embrace, loving the attention she was getting. Loving how they weren't arguing. She moaned only slightly into the kiss. "God, I've missed it to. So…so very much…"

"I love you, my dear."

"I love you too, Shelby." She kissed her again. "I'm so sorry," another kiss. "For all of the times I've hurt you. I promise, I'll get better. I'll be better. I love you so much." A single tear slid down her cheek. "I'm sorry, so sorry…"

"Awe, sweetheart," she wiped the tear from Cassie's face and kissed her. "I believe you."

At a whisper, "I'm not sure you do, baby. It scares me." Suddenly Cassandra was more vulnerable than Shelby was.

"I swear I do. Trust me." Shelby asked of her.

"…Okay." Cass held her lover close. "Okay. I do. I trust you."

"Okay. Good."

"I'm sorry about fighting with Santana. I know it seems childish and it is. She just always manages to strike the hardest chords with me…"

"I know, and I'm sorry. She's just protective."

"We don't even fucking KNOW each other," Cass protested. "I just don't understand…she's going to get hurt…"

"Baby. Be nice. For me, okay?"

"She's making that excruciatingly difficult."

"I know she is." Shelby told her. "I need to run to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Okay." Cass gave her a final quick kiss on the forehead and started working on stretching in the corner.

Shelby went to the bathroom. When she got there, she called Rachel.

"Hey baby girl."

Rach answered, being cut off trying to tell Santana that she understood. "Hey, mom."

She was careful not to say anything in front of Santana. She simply let Shelby do all of the talking.

"Hey. So Cass is here. Come when you're able." She informed her.

"On my way." Rach clicked her phone off. "We need to go see mom for a minute, she wants to talk to you."

"Do we have to? She's probably just going to lecture me." Santana grumped.

"Yes, we have to. I'll make sure she doesn't lecture you." It wasn't exactly a lie, right?

"Okay. Fine. Let's go." She grabbed Rachel's hand and started heading back to the house.

"Wait," Rachel stopped her. "She's at the studio."

"Why the hell is she at the studio? Did she and Cassie fight?! I knew I didn't like that bitch. Kicking mama Shelby out of her own house. Ima cut a bitch!"

"Calm. The. Hell. Down. San, she was just getting something for Cassie. They're not fighting, everything's perfectly normal."

Normal. Why did she have to use the word normal?! Now San would know for sure something was up. But the Latina didn't catch on.

"Everything's good," she took Santana's hand. "Okay? You have got to control your temper."

Santana took a deep breath. Rachel's contact alone seemed toe clam her…a little bit. After all of those years of being defensive and pretending her feelings for Rachel didn't exist, Santana had no idea how to turn off her bitch mode. Clearly she still had a lot to learn. "Okay. Fine."

"Please be nice? For me? For Shelby?"

"Okay." She pulled Rachel closer.

Rachel whispered gratefully, a thank you, as they made it onto the NYADA campus.

Shelby made her way over to them. "Hey, my babies." She gave them each a hug.

Santana was hesitant. "Hey. Look, C. I'm not really in the mood for another lecture right now—"

"I'm not going to lecture you. I'm sorry I blew up."

"Well I'm sorry I keep pissing you off. She just…unnerves me. I get a bad vibe with her."

"I know, I know." Shelby said tiredly. "I just give up. Oh, I have something for you, by the way. Go into studio B and I'll be right in, okay?"

Studio B. San un-tensed—that wasn't even Cassandra's studio, so it wasn't likely she'd even have to see her. She was curious as to why Shelby just gave up, though. C was stubborn and didn't often give up. Maybe she just meant for now. "Um…okay?" she started to take Rachel with her.

Shelby grabbed Rachel before she could go anywhere. "I need her help getting it." San walked away with a disbelieving look in her eyes. "I'm going to get Cassie to go in there and then you lock the door behind her, okay?" she instructed Rachel before going into Studio A to get Cass. "Hey! How about another dance? Will you go get my iPod doc from studio B?"

Another dance? Shelby was just full of surprises today… "Sounds good to me." She turned to head into Studio B.

Before she even knew what was happening, the door was locked behind her. She glimpsed ahead and saw Santana and turned to pound on the door.

"SHELBY! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! LET ME OUT! THIS ISN'T EVEN A LITTLE BIT FUNNY!"

Cassandra hated enclosed spaces, this Shelby knew. She hated the Latina because the Latina hated her. She hated being tricked and undermined. She hated not having alcohol to soothe her stress. She was getting ready to lose her shit.

Shelby's voice sounded from overhead. "No! I told you I was done and I meant it. You two can come out once you fix this! Rachel and I are watching in the office. So get to it."

Both girls looked around to notice the sound coming from the PA.

"OH, REAL FUCKING MATURE." Cass screamed at the system, as if it were Shelby. "It doesn't WORK like that, Shelby!"

"Oh, shit." Santana realized. She was never going like Cassie. "We're going to die in here."

"Well today it DOES work like that." Shelby shot back.

Cass grumbled, mad at herself for being naïve enough to think that Shelby would just let this go. Full of surprised indeed. "This is never going to work." She rolled her eyes and smacked the door again for emphasis.

"Stop talking to me and start talking to Santana." Shelby said to her.

"There is a REASON why I don't talk to her."

Santana rolled her eyes. This was not cool. They could not team up like that. "Rach, I don't have time for this!"

Rachel's voice sounded through the PA this time, as opposed to Shelby's. "You'd better make time, Santana."

She turned and smiled triumphantly at her mother. "We make a good team." She stated.

Shelby nodded. "Indeed we do."

And just like that, Santana and Cassandra knew they were trapped.

**Tell us what you think! -Defygravity09 and hayleynymphadora**


	14. What Happens in the Studio

**Another chapter finally up! Merry (late) Christmas and Happy Holidays!**

**Chapter 14: What Happens in the Studio…**

"I love Rachel and everything, but she is gonna be sorry for doing this. Snixx is NOT happy Santana mumbled to herself, pacing around the studio and feeling like a crazy woman. How could Shelby and Rachel just…lock them in a dance studio?! What power did they have over her and Cassandra?! Who the hell says locking people in a studio was a solution to a problem?!

Cassandra nodded angrily in agreement. "Shelby and I are going to have some fucking words." she growled, staring cold and hard at the floor, contemplating how she was going to get herself out of this one.

Over the PA, Shelby decided it was necessary to shout out, "You know that we can hear you, right?"

The blonde dancer smacked the door with all of her strength, kicking it even harder before screaming back, scowling at the camera, "Good!"

Santana narrowed her eyes and looked at Cassie from the side, scathingly. "This is all your fault." She declared.

"How the HELL do you determine that?"

"Because you're horrible!" San snapped back right away, ever so defensively. "If it wasn't for you hurting Shelby and being a bitch to Rachel then I wouldn't hate you as much and we wouldn't be locked this fucking studio!"

"So now you're blaming me because of _your_ feelings towards me. Hmm. Mature. Listen, I know my own mistakes sweetheart, I don't need you to try to remind me or even pretend you know a single thing about me."

The Latina rolled her eyes. "I don't need to know anything about you to know that I don't like you."

Cass sighed. She knew that she had given Santana plenty reason not to like her. She gave everyone plenty of reasons not to like her. She was surprised, really, that Shelby somehow claimed to love her. Cassandra July knew that she was a bad person. That she made a lot of mistakes, that she was a bitch, that she had an attitude. She hated herself for all of those things and then some, too. "That makes 2 of us." She stated, unsure if she was saying that she hated herself also, or if she was saying that she didn't need to know anything about San to know she didn't like her, either.

There was a silence during which Cass kept her head pressed up against the back wall, wondering where everything in her life had gone so wrong. Wondering how she had managed to piss Shelby off so horribly that she had decided that locking her in a room was the only alternative. Like a fucking zoo animal. Like a prisoner. She took a long, slow, deep breath. Her throat burned. Her head was spinning.

Santana was frankly just pissed off that Rachel and Shelby had locked her in a room with someone as frustrating as July. She understood to an extent why they did it, but that certainly didn't mean she approved. Finally, she sighed. Just sitting here and staring at the walls was not going to get them out of the situation. "So what are we going to do?" she asked.

"You're the one who couldn't keep her hatred to herself." Cassie threw her arms up and gestured towards her. "You tell me. Any suggestions? You seem to know the answer to everything else in my life."

"Oh sure...I'm the one who got us into this, and me alone because _I'm_ the only one with a fucking attitude." Her sarcasm was plentiful, to say the least.

"Well, you're the one who keeps starting shit! I tried to stay peachy for Shelby but noooooo…" Cass shook her head and crossed her arms. _What the hell am I doing with my life? I'm fighting with someone who's the age of Shelby's daughter. I'm seriously locked in a room with this bitch because my lover didn't know how to address me. I'm such a fuck up…This is the most unfair thing…_

"I have no idea." Santana finally said, crossing her arms. "I will never like you, so I don't know what these two _crazies_ are hoping will come of this." She felt the need to glare at the camera and emphasize the word "crazies".

Rachel decided it was her turn to speak over the PA, "Crazy seems a bit melodramatic." She said before taking her finger off of the button so the girls in the studio couldn't hear and addressing her mother. "I'm not sure how this is going. Ms. July looks like she's about to break that mirror that's next to her and there's nobody to hold either one of them back from literally killing each other."

Nodding, Shelby understood her daughter's concern. Her own heart was beating rather quickly. She almost _almost_ regretted doing this. But it had only just begun. SOMETHING good had to come out of it, and if it meant them not fighting later on down the road…well things always had to get worse before they got better. She tried to keep reminding herself of that. "I know, I know. We just…have to be patient." They turned their attention back to Cassie and Santana, just as Cassie was yelling up at the camera.

"You really wanna talk to me about melodramatic, Schwimmer?! Who's the one locking people in dance studios?!"

Santana gave Cassie a look. She'd had about enough. "Calm it with the name calling, Crazy July. Shit, you can't even keep a job on Broadway because of your fucking attitude. What was it that set you off in that video I saw? Oh that's right. A CELL PHONE!"

Oh, how Cassandra wished to be out of here. She didn't REALLY want to kill Santana but the anger that was pumping through her veins right now…every emotion and feeling of hatred she had towards herself was starting to be pushed out of her system and thrown in Santana's face. "I was fucking drunk." Cass growled so deeply that it nearly frightened Shelby. "Something I desperately wish to be right NOW!" and she did. God, did she want to be. Something to take this horrible HORRIBLE feeling away. She wasn't sure she could bear it. She was strong, but not strong enough for all of this at once.

"But you can't." Santana continued, recognizing that she was pressing a button and deciding to have some more fun at her expense. Maybe it would teach Cassie a lesson about how to treat other people. Santana didn't care if the blonde claimed she'd been working on it. That wasn't good enough. Santana didn't know Cassandra's past, but she didn't mind throwing out some of Cassie's most hated memories to get a rise out of her anyways. "Then you will lose your precious Shelby. Then your life will be nothing." She knew that maybe she was starting to take it a little too far, but as long as all of the cards were on the table…

"Shut the FUCK up! Do you EVER stop talking?! Jesus, no wonder Schwimmer is so damn smitten. Birds of a feather..." Cass had her hands against her temples, and Shelby could sense that Santana was about to break her. Cassandra July rarely broke. Shelby almost didn't think this fight very fair. Santana knew a lot more about Cassie than Cassie knew about Santana. Cassie didn't have anything to fight back with, and, even if she did, she was in too much pain to try.

"Oh, did I hit a sore spot?" All the same, Santana continued.

"I'll show you a fucking sore spot, sweetheart." Cassandra threatened. Threatening was all she had right now.

_You're a fuck up, July, that's why you're in this situation. Shelby doesn't know how to control you, you keep on hurting other people at your own expense, and this is what it costs you. No amount of alcohol can fix all of the problems you have. Drinking isn't going to bring your sister back. It's not going to win Shelby back. It's just pushing more people away. It doesn't solve anything. You've ruined your career and your life is a mess and this is what you have to show for it._

"Go ahead. You won't get to me." Santana smirked, smugly. She hadn't the slightest clue what was going on in Cassandra's head but she could see that the blonde was struggling with something serious.

"You're not even worth it." Cassie decided. "You're not worth anything." At this point she didn't know if she was talking to Santana or to herself.

"I'm still young, July. I have my whole life to make something of myself...what about you...how much longer do you think you have? Especially if you keep drinking the way that you do…"

There was a fine line being crossed, and Shelby, still listening from above, stood up with wide eyes, about to punch the button herself and tell them that enough was enough. She felt horrible for torturing Cassandra like this. Cassie's whole life, she had all of these insecurities that Shelby knew about. Because Shelby was truly the love of her life. The light in the dark. She hated that she was doing this to Cassie yet she didn't stop them like she knew she should have.

"You're not going to have much longer if you don't learn when to stop—"Cassie told Santana through clenched teeth. She was trying, god was she trying, NOT to harm this girl anymore. She was making it increasingly difficult.

San got up as close as she could to Cassie...their noses practically touching. She smiled devilishly, feeling a sense of accomplishment. Payback for every name Cassie'd called Rachel, for breaking Shelby's heart, and for being such a…such a bitch. "And what exactly are you going to do about it Alchie?"

She couldn't stand it anymore. Cass reached up and smacked the bitch so hard that San practically ate the studio floor. Santana got up, fighting the tears that sprung to her eyes from the hit…yet her eyes were raging with anger, not pain. She walked over to Cassandra and smacked her back so hard that it knocked her off balance.

"Hit me again, mother fucker."

"Maybe we should intervene, Rachel." Shelby turned to her daughter with a deep concern. She knew that the girls beating each other up was a strong possibility, but…neither girl deserved the pain they were giving each other, emotionally or physically.

Rachel punched the button and yelled, "Hey, knock it off. Enough! You've hurt each other enough!"

Cassie didn't even hear Rachel. She was focused on the last thing Santana had said to her. It was another threat. "Gladly." she nearly strangled her, hands around San's neck to shove her back.

The Latina kneed Cassie in the stomach and when Cassie lets go she pushed her to the floor, straddling her and beginning to throw punches.

Somehow Cass managed to flip her and smack her hard when Shelby screams through the PA, "ENOUGH!"

Slowly, Cass got off of San, allowing Santana to get off the floor. "Fucking A, July. You busted my lip."

"Challenge me again bitch, and see if I don't do more than that." Cass was red faced and furious, her heart feeling like it was about to explode. Emotions rampaged through her. She detested emotions and tried her best to never feel them. But Santana had brought out a dragon.

"Rachel, Let me the fuck out of here!" San beat against the door once more, thinking that perhaps now that Rach and Shelby had seen what Cassie and San meant to one another, they would think that this whole "making up" business was a lost cause and let them out.

Cass let out a breath and leaned her head against the wall. "Shelby," she practically moaned, "Jesus Christ..."

"You two have to work this out..." Shelby was starting to doubt this method herself but they had already gone through so much today…maybe now that all of their anger was out they could just…let bygones be bygones?

"Because that's going so fucking well?!" Cass yelled. The woman was nearly in tears from how she was feeling. She loathed it.

Santana watched the blonde, carefully. She hadn't truly realized the depth of her words until now. Maybe this payback was a little overcompensated. But she didn't take back anything she said. Everything she'd said was true, she felt. However she wanted out of this mess of a studio. She took a deep breath and lowered her voice down to a whisper. "I have a plan," she suggested to Cassie.

Scoffing, Cass gave her a disbelieving look. "I'm supposed to trust you?" she almost laughed at the idea. It was ludicrous. She rolled her eyes and took another deep breath. She just wanted to go home. Take a shower. Throw something. She wanted…well she wanted Shelby. But at the same time she was so pissed off at Shelby that the idea of being in the same room with her was almost just as frustrating as being in this studio.

"Yes...just go along with me. Obviously they are not going to let us out until we make up." San spoke up again. "I am sorry for smacking you, Cassandra." She didn't apologize for what she said, though. She was careful not to. Maybe the blonde would take what she said under consideration and start to change.

The dancer caught on quickly to Santana's plan. "I'm sorry, too."

"You have a pretty good arm on you." San continued. If complimenting her strength a bit helped them a little then why the hell not.

"Same. What the hell do you bench, like Schwimmer?" Cass knew it wasn't Santana's fault that she hated herself. Santana just reminded her of it. The girl had reason to, by all means. She couldn't really be mad at her—Cassie knew everything was her own fault.

Santana laughed forcibly. "Something like that. I am also sorry for calling you an Alchie. That was a low blow. I am glad that you are trying to get better for Shelbs." She actually meant that, to her surprise.

"Trying is a key word I know. Your protectiveness is impressive, although a tad bit overwhelming." Cass told her.

"I just don't like seeing either one of them hurt. Hell, you think I am tough on you. You should have seen me when Shelby came back into Rachel's life for like the 4th time. I was ready to take her out too." San admitted. She turned to the camera. "Sorry again, Shelby."

Shelby nodded, although San couldn't see her. She was glad that they were somewhat making up and she could tell that they actually meant what they were saying. Although she was aware that they only started doing so to get out of the studio. At this point, Shelby couldn't really blame them for wanting out.

"I love her too, you know? A lot." Cass told Santana in reference to Shelby. "I would never hurt her again. I'd rather die before I let that happen."

"I know. I really do. I am just a little crazy when it comes to people I care about." Santana could see the sincerity in Cassandra's eyes and hoped the dancer could see the same in hers.

"As am I. Does it show?"

"Yeah." Santana laughed for real this time and Cass actually laughed with her, to her surprise.

"Well look at that...we just agreed on something." San said after a minute. Even if it was something minor…it was a start, right? She knew that if she ever wanted to stop fighting with Rachel and Shelby she had to first stop fighting with Cassie. Cass knew the same.

"Yeah. I guess we did." She scoffed.

"So…now what?"

"Now they let us out of here?" Cass looked up at the camera, feeling hopeful. Her emotions were starting to simmer down and although she knew she couldn't hide them away and decide not to talk about them forever, she could do it for a little while longer. Or, at least, until Shelby brought it all back up because she knew that it was still hurting her.

Shelby turned to Rachel. "What do you think, Baby Girl?"

"I don't know. That was awfully quick." Rachel sighed.

"Yeah, I think so too." Although the entire ordeal hadn't necessarily been QUICK, they had made up rather fast.

"Shelby damn it I have to pee!" Cass yelled at her. It was the truth as well as a ploy to get out.

Finally, Rach just sighed. "Just let them out." She rolled her eyes.

"I don't know, Rach. We said we weren't going to let them out until they made up." she winked at her daughter. "Maybe they should hug it out." She knew this was a stretch but it was worth a shot, right?

Cassandra, feeling like a chastised kindergartener, groaned at the idea. "Shelby Kimberly!"

"Cassandra Vivian! If you are truly ready to make up and get along with Santana, then you will hug her and we will let you out to release your bladder...or you can refuse to hug her and pee your pants...I don't care." Shelby knew she was walking a fine line—Cass was already mad enough at her, but as long as she was already mad, Shelby decided she could get one more good thing out of all of this.

Cass rolled her eyes for the hundredth time that day. "Lopez doesn't want to hug me, fool."

"Oh come on July." San sighed, just wanting out. "I will give you a hug if it proves to them that we are okay with each other." She held her arms open.

The blonde sighed and hugged her, muttering a, "You're really laying it on thick, hun." Into Santana's ear.

"Do you out of here or not?"

Hugging her tighter, almost enough to hurt, Cass faked a smile. "And all was well with the world." She declared.

"Now let us out, Crazies." San demanded.

"Now would be great." Cass agreed.

Shelby unlocked the door and lets them out.

"Sweet Jesus, miracles do exist." Cassandra ran past Shelby, practically shoving the woman back. Shelby knew she probably deserved more than a shove, with all of the hell Cassie had just put herself through, but they would make up tonight and talk about it later. That was just what Shelby and Cassie did.

San walked out of the studio and past Rachel and Shelby, giving them both a "go to hell" look before walking right out the door.

"San, wait!" Rachel exclaimed. She knew early on that this was going to mess up their new relationship a little bit, but how mad could Santana really be?

The Latina kept walking but slowed down a little.

"Maybe we should give them some time—"Shelby started to whisper to her daughter.

Hearing her, Santana spun around. "Oh I doubt you're getting laid tonight, Shelbers, so yeah, perhaps some space is a good idea. July is pissed. As am I."

With that, she was gone from their sight.

When Cassie got back from the bathroom, Shelby looked at her and smiled, hopefully. Cassie did not smile back.

"Hey baby." Shelby whispered.

"Don't you "hey baby" me." Cassie practically snapped at her.

"Okay. I guess you want space too?" she sighed. She had wished that they could just do what they usually did and make up the second they stop fighting.

"I love you Shelby. Why would you do something like that?"

"Because we couldn't take the fighting anymore." Shelby tried to explain.

"So locking me in a room was your solution?!" Cassie crossed her arms.

Rachel watched them, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably next to her mother.

"Yes. It was the only thing that I could think to do." Shelby was guilty and Cassie knew she was guilty. Cassie finally had some sort of power today and it felt great. She hated the feeling of being trapped and not in control.

"Wow. Well I'll give you points for creativity then, how's that?" her sarcasm didn't dwindle. Though she planned on making up with Shelby later, she needed her to know how upset she was about this.

"Cass..."

"What, Shelby? What do you expect from me right now?" She asked.

"I don't know…I guess you're going to stay at your place tonight?" she practically whispered, not wanting Cassie to sleep a night away from her.

"I…" Cassie sighed. "Rachel can I talk to your mother alone?" she didn't dare call her Schwimmer right now. Wasn't even worth it.

Rachel walked away, thankful to not be witness to the situation.

"Shelby...I don't want to fight." Cassie admitted. "I'm done with the fighting. And I don't want to go to bed without you. But I also don't want to be undermined by you. We are a team, don't talk down to me or treat me otherwise."

"That's not what this is, babe. This wasn't a power trip. I was just trying to fix things between you and San. Rach and I just want you two to get along so we could all be around each other and spend time as a family. You know I've already missed so much with Rach and with you, nor have I ever really had a family...that's all I wanted…" it wasn't the best reason, she knew, but it was a reason all the same.

"Baby. I want to give you the world. Everything you want. You know that. Your heart's desire. But...you have to give people time to try and adjust. Not everything can be perfect."

"Yeah, but we were getting nowhere with the two of you…"

"After what, a couple weeks? Patience is a virtue, sweetheart."

"After a few weeks you guys should not still be trying to kill each other." Shelby told her.

"That is not my fault." Cass didn't want to go through this again. "I tried being cordial."

"I know baby. But we didn't do it to just you..."

"That is SO not the point."

"Okay." Shelby breathed out. She wasn't going to push Cassie anymore. She had just witnessed what that did.

"Okay what?" Shelby could be so frustrating sometimes with her one word answers.

"I'm not wanting to fight with you anymore. I just want you to take me home and make love to me." Shelby admitted, her face blushing slightly as Cass raised an eyebrow at her. That was almost the last thing she'd expected Shelby to say, even if they had already silently planned to make up. "I must admit seeing you go after San like that kinda turned me on." It wasn't the fact that Cassie had been in pain that turned her on. It was seeing Cassie so strong, so defensive, so in love with Shelby that she admitted so multiple times.

"Oh really?" Cassie smirked, licking her lips. She was thankful for the invitation to make up—for the distraction from the emotions of hate she was feeling towards herself.

"Really." Shelby winked at her lover. "So...?"

"So..." Cass leaned towards her and whispered slowly, "You're just lucky I'm flexible." nibbling Shelby's ear and backing up.

"Double entendre?" Shelby was already flushed.

Shrugging, Cass started to walk away.

"Wait! Cassie!" Shelby sped after her.

Cass smirked, loving it when Shelby begged, and kept walking, waiting for her lover to follow. Shelby grabbed Cassie's hips and turned her around to face her. "Take me home." She whispered seductively.

Sultry, Cass whispered, "Is that what you want, Shelby?" she dragged her name out slowly, making the brunette practically swoon, biting her lip.

"Mmhmm."

"What else do you want me to-"

"Eww, eww, please for the love of all that is Streisand, don't respond to that." Rachel had walked up to them with wide, scared eyes.

"Rachel!" Shelby's body was practically buzzing and right now was not an opportune time for Rachel to interrupt. "Go home! Make up with San…"

Cass did not loosen her grasp on Shelby but refused to give her any bodily contact either.

"We...you two are...nnnngh..." _Gross._ Rachel thought to herself. _I know they're together but…no…._

Shelby gave Rachel a little glare, desperate for Cassie to give her body the attention it was craving. But not in front of her daughter. "Please, Rachel, just go." She said it practically at a beg.

"Gross." Rachel crinkled her nose and walked away. "Fine, go make up with Cassie."

As she walked way, Cassie practically cackled. "I just LOVE traumatizing your daughter, C."

"It is pretty fun." Shelby had to agree. "Sometimes. Now, where were we?" she tried to kiss Cassie, her body on fire.

Cass pulled away dangerously slowly. "Ah ah ah...Not so fast, you. I'm mad at you remember?"

"Uuuuuggggghhhhhhh…."

"I call the shots." Cass told her. "Those are the rules tonight."

"Fine." Shelby practically growled.

Cass smiled, her voice low. "I like it when you growl." she lead her lover home.

Shelby was practically whining, wishing she had a bit more control. She kept in mind that she should never piss Cass off again. It wasn't too bad, she had to admit, to see Cassie in control...although she'd never say so to Cassie.


	15. Walls Tumble Down

**Warning, mentions of suicide and alcohol abuse.**

**Chapter 15: Walls Tumble Down**

Kurt was sitting around the apartment. He'd just gotten out of the shower and was deciding what to make for dinner when he heard a loud pounding. He watched, with slightly concerned eyes, as Santana barged through the front door.

She caught his odd stare and growled, "WHAT HUMMEL?!"

The fashionista put his hands up, defensively. "Woah, Jesus, who bit your ass?" he demanded of her with widened eyes. Sure, he'd seen Santana angry plenty of times, but she'd never snapped at him the second she walked through the door like that. He hoped she and Rachel weren't fighting again. Or worse, she and Shelby. Or, he dared to think even worse, Cassandra.

Santana knew her anger wasn't Kurt's fault; he was an innocent bystander that happened to take her wrath even though he had nothing to do with what had happened during the day. Her tone calmed slightly—she felt sort of bad for yelling so abruptly. "Sorry. I was just put through hell…" she let out a deep breath and put a hand to her forehead.

_Uh oh._ Kurt thought to himself. _I was right, trouble in paradise. Why can't relationships just be…fun, like they used to be? Easy? LOVING?! _"Hell in which form?" he asked her, pulling out two glasses for water, almost afraid of her answer.

"Shelby and Rachel decided to lock me and July in the studio and refused to let us out until we made up. The bitch busted my lip." Gratefully, she took the glass of water from Kurt and sat down on the couch. She was exhausted. And pissed off that Cassie had gone for her face.

"Ouch." Kurt agreed sympathetically, sitting down next to her. "Well, hell hath no fury like Crazy Cassie July." His tone was uncharacteristically monotonous, which gave Santana a bit of pause.

Santana let out a sigh, wondering how she could fix her lip. "Yeah. So, Cassandra and I decided we were going to fake our way out of the studio, but then I realized that maybe, and NO ONE needs to know this," she emphasized, staring him down before continuing, "She's not as bad as I originally thought. She really cares for Shelby and is trying her best to do right this time…which is a start, at least…"

That made Kurt scoff. What was so great about Cassie that she charmed even those who had originally hated her?! "So now she has _not only_ Shelby, but little Miss Lima Heights eating out of the palm of her hand, as well?"

The Latina nearly choked on her water with laughter. "Oh hell no. Not ever gonna happen. But I may try to make peace for Shelby's sake…Rachel, however, is in for it tonight. I am so pissed at her…" Her emotions were conflicting. She didn't WANT to be mad at Rachel, then again she also hadn't WANTED to be locked in a dance studio…

"She was just trying to help, take it easy on her." Kurt defended his best friend with a sigh. "It's not like she was cheating on you with Cassandra or anything..."

Startled, San immediately turned her head to give Kurt a look. They hadn't even been TALKING about cheating, so what was_ that_ comment all about? "What the hell does cheating have to do with this, Kurt?" she looked at him, questioningly, and dare he say a little concerned.

"I...don't know. You thought that's what she was doing last week, so..." he tried to shrug off what he had said. He really didn't want to get into talking about this right now.

"No..." Santana didn't believe him. "There is something else going on. Come on, Kurt. You can talk to me. You help me...let me help you." It was rare that their friendship ever reached this point of actually communicating and helping each other out…but there was no time like the present, right?

Kurt however, was still a little skeptical. A few seconds ago she was fuming, and now she wanted to help him? Was she high? "...Since when are you so concerned about what's going on with me?" He had to ask. "Why aren't you insulting me, or calling me Lady Hummel…?"

"Because I am just…so tired. I am tired of fighting for today." She admitted. "If this had not happened then yes, by all means I wouldn't give a rat's ass about your life but today...today I care. So spill, Porcelain." That wasn't entirely true—Kurt was Santana's friend, and she always cared about what happened to him. But she knew what he wanted to hear to reassure him and what she had just said was it.

He looked down at his hands for a moment before taking a long, drawn out breath, and admitting, "Blaine cheated on me." His voice broke when he said it. He was still sort of in shock and couldn't believe what was happening himself.

Out of all of the things that Santana had expected him to say, for some reason that was not it. He and Blaine were a power couple. They were the couple that everyone always looked up to. A model duo. They were incredible for each other and they were…so in love…Santana took a deep breath. "Kurt, I am so sorry." He knew that she was being sincere. It wasn't long ago, as he mentioned, since she thought that Rachel was cheating on her. She definitely understood how he was feeling, even though Rachel hadn't actually been doing it.

"I just..." his breath was staggered as tears brimmed his eyes. "I really want to just forget about it, but he's…literally everywhere. He's sending me flowers, he's texting apologies, he's trying to call every couple of hours and—and I know he feels bad, it's just... How could he?" he asked Santana, unsure why he was seeking comfort in her, but feeling unintentionally vulnerable. If Rach were there he would've been telling her, too.

"Do you love him?" Santana asked after a minute of silence. After which, she paused but didn't give him time to answer before continuing with, "Do you think you could forgive him?"

Kurt let out another long, slow, deep breath. "Of course I love him. I do. I love him so much but...I don't know, Santana. Would you forgive Rachel if she really had been fucking Cassandra?" he used his hands to exaggerate when he spoke, making Santana smile a soft smile. His theatrics always were astounding.

"I don't know." She admitted. "Maybe. I love her, and I would like to think that we could work through just about anything. I would try my damnedest to try to fix it, that's for sure…" she bit her lip, realizing that she had made it sound like Kurt wasn't trying hard enough to fix it. That wasn't what she'd meant—of course it's not his fault that Blaine cheated. She hoped he wouldn't take that the way it sounded.

He continued to stare at his hands. "I...it's just too soon." He whispered, his heart hurting. The one person he trusted and loved more than anything else in the world had stabbed him in the back. He wasn't quite sure what he was feeling, besides sick.

"Then it's too soon." Santana shrugged, reaching out and taking Kurt's hand for the friendly support that she'd never truly given him. "Continue ignoring him and then when you are ready, call him. If I know Blaine like I think I do...he will still be there waiting."

"If I knew Blaine like I thought I did, he wouldn't have cheated on me." Kurt retaliated.

"Or if you want to just end it all and let it go…Tthis is _your _life Kurt. Everyone else is just a supporting role. You are the lead...You have to take care of you first." She wasn't sure where all of this sentimental shit was coming from, but went with it anyways. She meant every word of it, and Kurt knew that she did. He appreciated it. A lot. "You matter to us Kurt. We want you to be happy, and Blaine is who makes you happy, so be it. If you want to play the waters for now, then do that as well. Focus on _you_."

Kurt was surprised as hell at Santana's emotional state. Frankly, he was amused that she even _had _an emotional state. Although, she was giving some damn good advice that he hadn't before thought about and felt extraordinarily touched that she was comfortable to bring out her sentimental side around him. "You're right. Absolutely right. We're all a family. Blaine is a part of that family... He always will be. But...for now he and I just need to take a little break. I think it's in my best interest…in everyone's best interest. There's been too much fighting going on around here, recently."

With a smile, San said, "Well then, I support that. Whatever you decide."

After a pause, he decided he needed to tell her whether she wanted to hear it or not, "I'm thankful. For your support, I mean." he smiled. Kurt didn't know that San had it in her to be so sweet.

"You're welcome." She told him. Before they could talk anymore, the door opened and Rachel walked into the apartment. Santana rolled her eyes, stood up, winked at Kurt, and walked to her room.

"San..." Rachel grumbled. "Please come talk to me?"

The Latina scoffed. She really wasn't in the mood to talk or fight anymore. "Wanna talk? Come to my room." She told her girlfiend.

Hesitantly, Rachel cast a nervous look over at Kurt, who waved her forward. She stepped behind Santana's curtain and entered her shared loft space.

"You wanted to talk." San said when neither one of them spoke first. "So talk, Rach."

After taking a deep breath, Rach said, "I'm sorry. I know what Shelby and I did was a little out of line..."

"A little?!" Santana demanded. "You locked me in a room with Cassandra and did nothing to stop us from beating the shit out of each other! You and Shelby of all people KNOW I don't get along with the leggy, smart mouthed dancer." She was not about to admit to Rachel that her plan may have actually worked a bit—that after spending some time in the studio with Cassandra, San realized she might not be so horrible after all.

Rach knew she was going to get some heat for what she was about to say next, but she knew she had to say it, anyways. "It seems to me like you hurt Cassie more than she hurt you..."

"Oh." San threw her hands up. Cool that her own girlfriend was on her side. "So now we're defending her?! Gee, Rach, thanks so much. I guess I know where I stand with you…" San flopped onto her back on her bed. She was tired, and hungry, and hoped that Kurt was in fact starting some sort of dinner.

"I'm not defending her, San, it's just that she seemed pretty torn up…There are 4 people here trying to get along with one another. We all have stories and we all have to give each other a chance…" she hated herself for always suffering foot-in-the-mouth syndrome.

"And July and I have worked on it...and we will continue. So congrats, your plan worked. We all got out of this alive." She didn't care if Rachel knew anymore. She was in a weird mood. She was tired.

The drama queen smiled softly, lying down next to San on the bed. "…We all got out alive so there's nothing, to be mad about, right?" her tone was hopeful.

San side, turning to face Rachel. "I guess."

"Sannie..." she didn't want Santana to guess. She just wanted all of them to be okay.

"Rachel...Okay. I don't wanna fight anymore. I have had enough fighting for one day." The girl admitted.

"Me too, baby. Me too."

"I'm still upset, but I don't want to fight. I am tired and really just want to lay down."

"Lay down with me, San. We can just relax for the night, okay?"

"Okay, Rach." She smiled after a minute then admitted. "I'm really hungry, too."

"I think Kurt's making dinner…" Rachel let her know. "Speaking of him," her voice lowered to a whisper, "Have you noticed something different about him, recently? Is he…okay, do you think?"

"Well, actually…"

San spent the rest of the time they had before dinner telling Rachel everything that was happening with Blaine. They laid in bed until Kurt came and got the two of them and the three of them ate in a comforting silence.

. . .

Shelby was laying down on the bed, regaining her breath after making up with her beautiful, very skilled girlfriend. After a while, Shelby rolled over to her side and looked at Cassandra, her tone serious when she said, "We need to talk, baby." She knew Cassie was going to give her a hard time, that she wasn't going to want to talk, that she was starting to go through withdrawals from not drinking and it was taking its toll for sure, but they needed to talk.

Moaning slightly, Cass turned on her side. "Must we?" she asked, her tone seductive so as to try to distract Shelby some more. "I think I like making up better..." she ran her hands up Shelby's arm, slightly breathless herself from their recent activities.

"I do like that part better," Shelby agreed with a small, pity-filled smile at her lover. She knew it was hard for her to discuss things… "But we can't just make up and forget about everything, Cass. We need to talk about some of those low blows that San threw your way, and I know you don't want to—"

Cassandra's wall started to go up immediately. She flipped back over on top of Shelby as means of intense distraction. "But, baby," she whispered seductively. "What if you're not fully forgiven?" she placed a steamy kiss to Shelby's neck and, although it felt amazing, Shelby knew she had to push Cass off of her. Gently, she did so and spoke again,

"Baby. Stop. We need to have this talk. I know it is hard for you to talk about, but I am right here and I want to help you…"

"I don't want to talk about it, Shelby. I don't want help." she sat up stubbornly, holding the covers to her chest while her bare back remained exposed.

Shelby was done arguing. She wasn't going to make her do anything she didn't want to do, she was already making her stop drinking, cold turkey, and it was definitely having an effect on Cassie's attitude. She couldn't imagine the pain she knew Cassie would soon be going through because of it and she sure as hell wasn't about to be the cause of more of her pain. "Fine." She took a deep breath, playing one final card. "Bottle it up like you always do." she got out of bed, pulling on her robe and walking out to the kitchen to make some tea.

Meanwhile, Cassie let out a sort of groan/growl and fell back down into a laying position. It wasn't that she was keeping things from Shelby. It was just that she didn't want to feel pain anymore. She didn't want to talk about how much of a screw up she was, she'd done enough thinking about that earlier as it was. She sighed and stared at the ceiling until Shelby came back into the room.

When the brunette did so, she handed Cassie a cup of tea and got back into the bed, waiting for Cassie to say something. As far as Shelby was concerned, she was not going to push Cass any more than she already had.

"Babe..." Cassandra sighed. "You know I hate bringing that shit up. We've already established that I'm a fuck up, can we just leave it at that?" of course, she knew after saying that, Shelby wasn't going to let up.

"Baby, you are not a fuck up. You are human. Everyone makes mistakes, honey. We don't have to talk about your past. I know all I need to know. I just really wanted to make sure that you are okay and give you the chance to talk if you wanted to. I know that some of the things Santana said to you hit a little too close to home, and I just want you to know that I am here for you to talk to if you need to. I don't want you bottling things up anymore...we know what that leads too…" Shelby said what she'd been dying to say since they got back to the apartment. Now was a better time than ever, she figured.

Cass suddenly felt oddly vulnerable. She guessed it was because of the long day she'd had but didn't otherwise question it. Under the covers, she dragged herself closer to Shelby and used the woman's mostly bare chest as a pillow, wrapping her arms around her tightly. She really, truly loved Shelby. Shelby was the only one who'd ever put up with this wall of hers. The only one who ever cared enough to push her for information and make sure she was okay.

She decided to actually tell Shelby what was on her mind. She whispered, "I can't bring her back, Shelby. She's dead and I can't do anything right, so I know she wouldn't be proud. I ruined my career, I constantly fight with you, and...and it's my fault that she's dead."

Shelby placed a gentle kiss on Cassie's forehead, knowing the woman was referring to the death of her sister. Someone Cassie had loved so very much. "Baby, your sister will always be proud of you. You have made HUGE strides in your recovery from alcoholism. I know, you have yet to go through serious withdrawals, but you _will _be able to handle it because you are the strongest person I know. There is so much to be proud of. I am proud of you, so very proud, and your sister would be too. I know that you feel as if it is your fault she took her own life baby, but it isn't. You didn't kill her. She was in a very bad place…there is nothing you could have done differently."

"I was supposed to protect her!" a tear slid down Cassie's cheek and onto Shelby's bare skin. "I was supposed to protect her from them, and then I wasn't there enough for her. And now she's gone. It was my first mistake of many but it had such a large cost...it didn't just hurt me...it killed her." Her tone was dark, and regretful.

"You're right, baby, you were her protector, but you can't let that guilt take over your life…You did the best that you could and now you have to get back up, dust yourself off, and live your life. That is what your sister would want you to do. You know it is. She loved you Cassie, she just couldn't handle life anymore. But she would want you to keep going…if not for you, then for her." She held Cassie close. This was the first time they'd talked about her sister in…a _very_ long time.

"I...I'm so sorry, Shelby. I will do better. I know you've heard it before...I love you so much. I can't lose you again..." Cassie's thoughts were all over the place. Her head was hurting, and she was so dizzy and tired. She didn't know if it was the lack of alcohol or the emotions she was feeling. But she didn't like it at all.

"You won't do better baby…" Shelby told her. "You already are. You are such a strong person, but I need you to know that you don't always have to try to be so strong...we are in a relationship...that is what I am here for. To help you when you are not that strong and to love you even when you do wrong. There is _nothing_ in this world that would _ever_ cause me to stop loving you or caring about you. NOTHING." She tried to emphasize.

"Nothing?" Cass had to hear it again. She had to be positive.

"Nothing, baby. Nothing in this _world_. _You_ are my world and my heart. I will love you until the day that I die." She promised. "Okay?" she whispered tenderly into Cassie's ear, placing soft kisses to her lover's face.

"Forever and a day." Cassie whispered, placing a soft lingering kiss to the skin of Shelby's lower neck.

After a long silence during which they just hold each other, Shelby heard Cassie's stomach start to growl. She laughed, lightly.

"So what should we do for the rest of the evening? A movie, some pizza, and how about..." she took a deep breath before proceeding. "Some cheesecake?"

"Mmmmm." Cassie perked her head up and glanced up into Shelby's eyes, skin against skin comforting her. Making them feel closer. "That sounds wonderful. But...first?" she kissed Shelby again, passionately, pressing them closer.

Shelby laughed. Although she had thoroughly enjoyed making up with Cassie and would absolutely love to do so again, she was exhausted. She knew that Cassie was, too, deep down. "Are. You. Trying. To. Wear. Me. Out?" she laughed. "I. Am. Old."

"Hmm." Cassie sighed against Shelby. Sounds to me like we need to work on your endurance." After one more kiss, she stood to get dressed.

Shelby decided to get dressed as well, before ordering the pizza and getting the movie ready. Cassie met her lover in the living room.

"What are we watching?" she asked, admiring Shelby's ass as she bent down to put the movie into the DVD player.

"Burlesque." Shelby turned around to smile up at Cassie.

Cass smiled back down. "Mmmm. Sounds perfect."

"Good." There is a knock on the door. Shelby returned shortly with the pizza too see that Cass had fixed them both some tea.

The women relaxed for the rest of the night.


	16. The Pain Will Ease, If I Can Learn

**Warnings: DTs**

**Enjoy!**

**Defygravity09 and Hayley**

Chapter The Pain Will Ease, If I Can Learn

Cassie woke with a start in the middle of the night, shaking and sweating. Her body shuddered and she felt nauseous. Her head was throbbing so badly she wanted to scream. She was reminded of Mimi in RENT. That's when she realized with wide, panicked eyes that that's exactly who she was. She was going through DTs. She felt like she was dying. She felt absolutely horrible.

Next to her, Shelby felt Cassie jolt, so she rolled over. "Baby? What's wrong?!" her voice was still groggy with sleep, however it was still full of concern. However, Cassandra couldn't bring herself to respond. Everything hurt and she was afraid to open her mouth, not wanting to get sick but not having the energy to move either. Her body continued to shake violently, sweat practically pouring down her face

Shelby sat up with wide eyes. Not sure what to do to help, she reached out to touch Cassie's arm. Her girlfriend stiffened, her body continuing to shudder. Mother fucker, why did it hurt so badly? She'd never felt so physically ill in her life. "What-the hell-is happening?!" she managed to stammer out.

Unsure of the answer herself, Shelby grabbed her tablet to look it up. After a few seconds of scrolling, (she didn't want to take too long—Cassie was scaring her). "Baby, you are going through DTs…"

"English, Shelby." Although she recognized what it meant, and had even remembered thinking about it when she first woke, her head was killing her worse than the worst migraine she'd ever had in her life. The woman was nearly in tears, which was an awfully rare sight to see—Cassandra had a very high pain tolerance. But right now, she was scared and she was hurting.

"It's because you quit drinking, honey."

Cass knew that's what it was from, but somehow Shelby saying it made it feel more real. Made it feel more…dangerous.

"Your body is trying to deal with the fact that you don't have any alcohol in your system…"

"Make—"Cass nearly choked. "It stop. Please, Shelby I can't-"another full body shudder possessed her. "Can't handle this…It wasn't this-bad before..."

"I know honey, but you have gone longer this time. We have two options..." Shelby let her hands trace soothing patterns on Cassie's back. Cassie felt like she was choking and Shelby felt like it was her fault. She was the one who made her stop drinking, after all.

_No,_ Shelby told herself. _She needed to stop. This looks like hell and I'm sure it is but you are helping her, Shelby. She did this to herself, she wanted to get better….no, actually, you wanted her to get better…sweet Jesus what am I doing…_ Her thoughts trailed off as she continued to rub her lover's back. She hated that Cassie was feeling this way but also hated when Cassie would drink.

"Let me—"Cass choked. "Shelby, I need..."

"I can take you to the hospital right now and get some medicine to make it stop—" Cassandra continued shaking, not looking at her lover. She didn't know who she was angrier at—herself or Shelby.

"-or we can wait until the morning. Letting you drink right now is not a choice, you'll only hurt yourself more. After we get through this you will feel so much better..."

_We? What we? I don't see you convulsing…_ Cass's mind was reeling.

"So do you want to go now, or wait until morning?" Shelby was trying to be patient. Cass glared down at her hands, shaking, trying to take a deep breath and relax. She couldn't manage to do so.

"I...can't breathe..." she still felt like she was choking. On what she couldn't be sure. But she also loathed hospitals, and didn't want to go at all. She didn't want Shelby to tell her it was going to be okay. She wanted to BE okay currently. She wanted to sate her thirst. She wanted to go back to sleep, against Shelby, and pretend like nothing happened.

"Then we need to go now." Shelby decided, knowing Cassandra's current thought process and dismissing it immediately. "You are not going to drink anything." She got out of bed and got dressed, then walked over to Cassie's side of the bed to help her get dressed as well. The minute she was dressed, Cass shoved Shelby out of the way and ran to the bathroom, getting violently sick.

Following her to make sure she was okay, Shelby called 911, knowing she couldn't do this alone. She turned to check on Cassie, watching sadly as the woman who she'd never seen as anything less than strong, screamed in agony. It broke her heart. It brought back memories. She sighed and crouched down to place a kiss on the top of Cassandra's head. The blonde was clutching the edge of the tub, her knuckles turning white.

The paramedics arrived hurriedly, and Shelby heard them, so she went to the door to let them in. "Cass, honey, the EMTs are here. They will make it better." She promised. "They'll make it better, but you have to let us help you."

Cassandra didn't say a word. She cursed herself to the darkest pits of hell for getting this bad. She was pissed at Shelby for not letting her drink. Most importantly, she didn't want other people touching her. No one but Shelby was ever allowed to touch her and that rule of hers wasn't intended to ever change. With dread, she realized she didn't have a choice.

They placed her on a stretcher and began checking her vitals. Her heartrate was extremely high—nearly through the roof. Once in the ambulance, they hooked her to an IV. Shelby hopped in the ambulance with them, not wanting to leave her lover's side. At the hospital, the nurse gave Cassie a shot of Librium, which seemed to calm her down a bit. She was still nauseous, but the shaking had stopped somewhat.

"Shelby..." she felt so weak. She hated it. "What the hell...?" Details were blurry. She couldn't think.

"It's okay, baby. Things are going to be fine. I talked to the doctor. They want to keep you over night to make sure things stay calm. Then they are going to start you on a vitamin and Thiamine regimen to keep this from happening again. Okay?"

Cass nodded wanly and closed her eyes. Shelby grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze. It was still clammy from all the sweating she had done. Cass didn't squeeze back. She was just tired. She soon fell asleep, and Shelby did as well, holding her hand and sitting in the seat next to her, her body laying forward half on the bed and half on her own lap.

In the morning, the doctor made his rounds. "Ms. July? How are you feeling today?"

Cass woke, hearing the sound of his voice, very confused. "Huh?" She wondered. She was dazed.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked, checking her vitals

Cass doubled blinked, feeling Shelby's hand in hers still and glancing over at her lover, who was still asleep in the same position. She was going to be stiff when she woke up.

"...sure? I guess...yeah..." she scrunched her nose at the doctor touching her—moving her arms, touching her stomach, and her neck and her wrist.

"It's still going to be rough. I need to do an EKG to make sure your heart wasn't damaged last night, is that okay?"

Cass was completely out of her comfort zone. There wasn't much she hated more than people that weren't Shelby touching her anywhere, or hospitals, or not drinking. "Um...I guess if you _have_ to I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Shelby woke up just in time, jumping with a start, her hand still clasping Cassandra's which was shaking. "That's a yes." She said, taking over. "Do whatever you need to do to get her home."

The doctor nodded, looking from Shelby to Cassie. "I will be back shortly."

Cass glanced over at Shelby. "I don't like this."

"I know you don't. I am sorry I had to bring you here but there was nothing else I could do, baby…" Shelby's thumb softly stroked the back of her lover's hand, trying to comfort her.

"I don't like this at all." Her tone was hard. Emotionless, her wall was clearly up.

"It will be okay. He will run his tests then release you. I will take you home and take care of you from there…" Shelby was tired and her back and neck were sore from sleeping the way that she had. She felt bad for Cassie but she was also angry at her for letting herself get so out of hand. That didn't mean she was going to leave her side.

"We are in this together. I am going to help you get better."

Cass liked the sound of that, but she didn't like the sound of staying in that damned hospital bed for a second longer. "I don't want to be tested, I don't need to be taken care of by the damn doctors…" she would never admit it, as far as she was concerned, but she was terrified. "I just want to leave." not much scared her hard ass July, but this was something that did.

Shelby toughened up her voice. "This is what is going to happen."

"Shelby, no—"Cass argued, turning her head to the other side. Her anxiety was killing her. Her heart rate was picking up again, and it showed on the machine she was hooked up to. This reminded her too much of her past. It reminded her too much of everything and she was in a sore mood and she wanted to give up. For the first time in her life, she wanted to give up. That's almost what scared her more than anything else. "I can't do this." She didn't know how to convey what she was truly feeling to Shelby, even though she knew she was pissing her off.

"What? So you think because you have one bad night that I should give in and let you drink some more, so that you can continue to have nights like this when you decide you want to be with me and I make you stop again?" Shelby was tired. She was tired of having this battle with Cassandra. She loved her so very much but she didn't know how else to get through to her besides being stern.

"You know the deal, Cassandra. You want to be with me, you stop drinking."

"No, Shelby I just don't want to be in this FUCKING hospital with these MOTHER FUCKING doctors who won't keep their hands off of me and a girlfriend whose favorite fucking word seems to be "ultimatum"! You _know_I can't stand being controlled…" she wasn't sure how to explain the anxiety she was feeling. "And I can't fucking breathe and the world is spinning..." she was starting to panic.

"Well deal with it because in this area of your life, you are so far out of control, that someone else has to step up and take control. If you do what the doctor says then you can get out of here soon. If you continue to bitch it will take longer. So sit back, shut up, and let the doctor do the fucking EKG so we can go home." Shelby was getting irritated because she hated seeing Cass like this, and if she admitted to herself, she hated hospitals as well.

"Stop telling me what to do, damn it." Cass was angry and vulnerable and finally admitted, her voice so soft it surprised the fuck out of her lover, "Shelby, I'm so scared…"

Shelby's tone softened as well; especially hearing Cassie admit something like fear. "I understand that baby, but you can't push people away because of it. You can't push _me_away. The worst is over." She caressed Cassie's face. "Once he releases you, and you start your vitamins, things will get better. You may have a panic attack every now and then but nothing like last night." She kissed Cassie's forehead, tenderly. "I will be right here with you through everything. Always. You are the love of my life and I would never dream of letting you go through this alone."

A tear slid down Cassie's cheek. Her wall was breaking. In that moment she realized that if she never let go of that woman's hand, it would be too soon. "You're the love of my life, too." She whispered.

Shelby knew how deeply Cass meant it, if she was crying. She reached up and wiped the stray tear, kissing Cassie's lips, gently. Just then the nurse came in with the EKG machine, hooked all of the little sticky things to Cassie and turned it on. The process took maybe 10 minutes. After the test was done, Cassie was anxious, asking the nurse, "Can we leave now? Am I okay?"

Shelby never let go of her hand. Cass squeezed it tighter

"The doctor will need to review the tests. He should be in soon."

"...okay..."

The doctor arrived a few minutes later.

"Ms. July?" he asked, glancing over her chart.

"That's me..." his tone made her nervous.

"It appears that everything is fine. I am going to release you, the nurse is drawing up the papers now. I admire your will to quit drinking cold turkey, but I need you to start taking the vitamins and Thiamine to control the anxiety. I also recommend going to a few AA meetings. They can really be beneficial in helping you quit…"

"Shelby's already got that figured out. She's much smarter than I am."

Shelby shook her head, still disliking Cassie's lack of confidence in herself. They were going to have to work on building that off.

"Okay. Well then you are good to go." He reached out his hand and shook Shelby's and Cassie's. After which, Shelby grabbed her phone to call Rachel.

"I need to have Rachel come get us...I rode here with you last night."

"Okay." Cassie doubled blinked pulled her hair behind her ears. "I need a shower. And to get dressed."

Shelby gave her another kiss. "You go get dressed while I call Rach and we can take a shower when we get home.

"We?" Cass caught Shelby's tone, smiling softly.

Winking at Cassie, she dialed and then Rachel answered. "Hey baby, are you busy?"

"Hey, mama. Not really, given the fact that its 9:30. What's up?"

"I had to have Cassie rushed to the hospital last night and I rode in the ambulance." Shelby switched ears. "Could you possibly come get us and take us home?"

"Is Cassie okay?" Rach worried. She might not completely love Cassie yet but she loved her mother and cared about her. San and Kurt perked their ears up, hearing Rachel's conversation and Rach grabbed her jacket and keys.

"She will be." Shelby assured her. "She is going through DTs and it was really bad last night…The doctor gave her some medicine and said that she will be fine."

"Oh. Well I'm glad she'll be okay..." she grabbed Kurt and San's arms and dragged them out the front door and to the car with her.

"Yeah, I was pretty worried…" and you could tell by the shakiness in her voice. "But thank you for coming. And if you bring Santana, please ask her to be nice. I love you, see you when you get here."

"What do you mean, they're always such great friends to each other…" Rach could taste the sarcasm in her mouth. "We'll be right there. I love you too." She turned to Santana. "Cassie's in the hospital, we're going to get them. Be nice."

San couldn't help herself. "So how's that whole not drinking thing working out for her?" she laughed.

"What part of "nice" is incomprehensible to you?" Rachel sighed, hesitant to start the car if Santana was going to start a fight. Shelby didn't need this right now.

"Sorry, I had to get something out...I will be on my best behavior. I promise." San pleaded.

Rolling her eyes, Rachel started the car. "Mmhmm. I'm sure."

"I will."

"Okay, San."

After a pause, "But no really, how is she?" she really was starting to care about Cassandra's well-being. They were obviously going to be spending a lot of time with one another.

Kurt stared silently as Rachel drove. He had awkwardly been dragged along—he didn't even KNOW Cassandra.

"Okay, I guess. Last night must have been pretty bad…Mom sounds a bit shaken up."

"Yeah, DTs are no joke." San sighed, knowing how Cass must be feeling. "She's lucky she gets to come home today. I know a person who had to spend a week in the hospital…"

A low whistle escaped Kurt's mouth "Damn." A week was a long time.

"Yeah." They arrived at the hospital and made their way to Cassie's room.

They found Cassie and Shelby both sitting cross legged on the bed, speaking in low voices to each other, their foreheads practically pressed together. Cass turned her head when she heard Rachel's voice—she was still a little on edge.

"Hey, Mom. Ms. July." She greeted the two of them.

"Hey, Rach. San. Gay kid I don't know." Cass greeted them. Shelby sighed. It was nicer than she could have been, for sure.

"This is Kurt." Rachel introduced them.

Kurt, still very in his own head about Blaine, greeted her about as enthusiastically as she did him. "I've heard so many great things about you."

"I appreciate your sarcasm, gay kid, we may just be friends."

"His name is Kurt," Rach repeated.

"He's our roommate." Santana supplied.

"Hi Kurt." Rach noticed, that even for hard ass July, Cassandra seemed pretty out of it. In fact, she mostly just appeared drained.

It was Santana who spoke to her next. "How are you feeling?"

Taking a deep breath, Cass responded, "I've seen better days, Lima heights. But I'll be okay." She stared at Shelby's legs in front of her, for distraction while she talked.

"Yeah. I know what you're going through. I've seen it happen before, it's not a pretty sight. But I will tell you the worst is over." This she knew she could promise.

"Thank god for small comfort." Cass rolled her eyes.

"How are you Shelbs?" San asked her next.

Shelby tried to look into Cassie's eyes and read her. She caressed her lover's face, softly. "I'm fine." Her other hand still had a tight hold on Cassie's. "It's Cass I'm worried about."

"Don't worry about me, Shelbs…"

San actually decided to show affection, rubbing Cassie's arm quickly. She didn't want to push boundaries, remembering the blonde didn't like to be touched. "She's a fighter. She will be just fine." Santana didn't admit to anyone in the room that she knew first hand that Cassie would get through this. After all, it had been she who was the one that'd been in the hospital for weeks.


	17. Sober

**A/N: Sorry this is so short. We felt that this was the best place to end this chapter. We do not own the songs used in this chapter.**

**Love, Defygravity09 and Hayley**

**Chapter 17: Sober**

Rachel sat outside the theatre door, wringing her hands together nervously. This was a once in a lifetime chance and if she ruined it somehow...she didn't think she'd be able to handle herself if that happened. _What if I choke?!_ She worried, her memories flashing back to when she'd messed up her NYADA audition. She felt nauseous.

"Berry! Rachel Berry!" The producer called her name. This was it.

She took a deep breath and thought about her next move.

_You've got this, Rachel. Think Barbra_. She coached herself. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she composed herself and stepped into the theatre, making her way onto the stage. She was blinded by the spot light but could make out the shape of a couple of people seated a few rows into the audience. "Hi. I am Rachel Berry. I will be auditioning for the role of Fanny Brice."

Nodding, Rupert gave a small smile. "Hello, Rachel. Start whenever you're ready."

Swallowing the huge knot in her throat, Rachel cued the band. She smiled as the familiar sound of Don't Stop Believing began playing behind her. She closed her eyes and made the most of the moment. Remembering the ones who had helped her get here, to this point in her life. A tear streaked down her face, all of those powerful memories flooding back to her as she opened her mouth to sing. "Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world..."

She sang her heart out in the allotted time given to her, (which was not very much time at all). By the time the sing had finished, she let out a long, shaky breath, wiping a tear from her cheek and re-composing herself. She looked up when she heard her name being called.

Rachel hit the last note and ended with a smile. Tears flowed freely at this point. She grinned and looked up as the director called her name once more.

"That was an odd choice for an audition song. May I ask why you chose it?"

"It is a very special song. If I had not found this song in High School I would not be standing on this stage in front of you."

"Alright. That's admirable and wise of you. To pick something close to home. Thank you Rachel. Are you ready to run lines?"

She nodded "yes, Sir."

As she worked with the stand-in saying lines, she could've sworn she got a few laughs out of the casting directors, which she took as a good sign. Although she stumbled on a few of the words, she hoped to god they wouldn't count it against her.

After she read through the scenes she was asked, the casting directors thanked her for coming and told her that they would be in touch. And with that, the audition was over.

Shakily, Rachel walked to the diner where Santana had a shift today. She felt pretty confident that things had gone well but was still a bit concerned and would be until they called.

Santana was off in her own world and didn't notice Rachel

"Hey, sweetheart." Rachel greeted her. San didn't answer, wiping down the counter furiously. Finally, she looked up. "Hey Rach. When did you get here?"

"A few seconds ago..." Rach laughed lightly, placing her hand softly over Santana's wrist. "Are you okay?"

"Uh. Yeah. I am fine. How was your audition?"

Rachel double blinked but decided to shrug it off. If San wanted to tell her, she would. "The audition went...well? I hope, anyways. I didn't completely choke, in any case. How's your day been?" She took her coat off and grabbed her bag so she could change into her uniform. Their boss was always looking for them to work extra hours-the diner was always so busy.

"It's been busy. Ever since you and I started dating, Dani calls out when she is scheduled with one of us. So I've been covering her section as well." San sighed.

"Damn..." Rachel sighed back. "I thought she was okay with this...?"

"Well, she said she was. I don't know." Santana went back into the kitchen to get the meal for one of her tables.

_Well okay then._ Rachel thought, her nervousness doing anything but subsiding. She went to change and when she came back she found Santana performing a song.

_"I don't want to be the one who laughs the loudest..."_

_"Or the girl who never wants to be alone."_ San closed her eyes, clearly very into her performance_. "I don't want to be that call at 4 o clock in the morning, cuz I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home."_

Cassie stared out the window, the sun just beginning to set. Her apartment faced west, so the sun was always shinning in this one particular window. _"Oh, the sun is blindin'. I stayed up again."_ She thinks about all of her sleepless nights. _"Oh, I am findin'. That's not the way I want my story to end."_

San opened her eyes. They connected with Rachel's before she closed them again and clutched the mic, singing, _"I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me...so why do I feel this party's over?"_

Shelby walked into the room and wrapped her arms around Cassie. _"No pain inside. You're my protection. How do I feel this good, sober?"_

San glanced around the room, feeling vulnerable. Regretting agreeing to this particular request. _"I don't want to be the girl that has to feel the silence."_ She paused and took a deep breath._"The quiet scares me cuz it screams the truth."_

Shelby lead Cassie to the couch, and held her tight. _"Please don't tell me that we had that conversation. I won't remember save your breath cause what's the use?"_

San's voice went dark, making Rachel's stomach flip. _"Oooh, the night is calling...and it whispers to me softly, come and play..."_ She beckoned with a finger.

Cassie's voice began to shake. _"Ah, I am falling. And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame."_ She stood up and went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She needed a distraction.

Santana tilted her head back, "_I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me. Why do I feel this party's over?" _She swayed her body with the music, her chest clenching.

Climbing into the shower, Cassie continued. _"No Pain. Inside. You're like perfection. How do I feel this good sober?" _She kept singing, sliding her back down the wall and putting her head into her hands. _"When it's good, then it's good, it's SO good, till it goes bad...till you try to find the you that you once had..."_

A lone tear fell down Santana's face. "I have heard myself cry, never again. Broken down in agony, just try'na find a friend." She looked at Rachel and locked eyes with her.

"I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me. Why do I feel this party's over? Over...no pain, inside..." Cass sang.

"You're like perfection.." San continued. "How do I feel this good sober?"

"I'm coming down, coming down, coming down, spinning round, spinning round, spinning round, looking for myself, sober..." Cass basically screamed out, her voice rasping.

"I'm coming down, coming down, coming down. Spinning round, spinning round, spinning round. I'm looking for myself, sober." Santana felt her wall tumbling down. She knew now that she was going to have to tell Rachel one of her deepest secrets that not even Brittany had known.

"Will I ever feel this good sober? Oh..." Cass was panting and whispered the last line, staring at her bare knees as they were pulled up to her chest, the steam rolling out of the tub and onto the bathroom floor. "Will I ever feel this good, sober?"

Santana stepped off the stage and went straight to the bathroom, where she threw up everything she had eaten that day. She knew she shouldn't have accepted that request.


	18. Being There for Each Other

**Chapter 18: Being There for Each Other**

Rachel's callback had been just as successful as her audition was. She was over at her mom's apartment to celebrate a few days later, and to talk nervously with her mother about the whole ordeal. She'd brought Santana and Kurt with her and Cassie was there too, of course. They all sat in the living room together, listening to Rachel talk about the part.

"So what song did you sing, Rach?" Shelby asked.

"Well, for the callback they wanted a Funny Girl song so I did Don't Rain on My Parade." Rachel explained, crossing her legs comfortably in her seat.

"Good choice. That is one of the hardest songs to sing. It shows your ability to play Fanny." Shelby nodded.

Before anything else could be said, Kurt's ringtone blasted throughout the room. He jumped suddenly at the unexpected noise, pardoned himself, and took the call in the kitchen.

Cassandra and Santana, meanwhile, were tuning Shelby and Rachel out. They'd heard enough about Fanny this and Funny Girl that recently. Santana was wondering how Cassie had been, since being out of the hospital.

"Enough about Fanny. Cassandra, let's go talk somewhere else where I don't have to hear this story for the 100th time." Santana said while smiling at Rachel, who knew that Santana had been wanting to talk to Cassie alone.

Rach nodded and Shelby shooed them away, knowing it would be good for the two of them to talk and positive they wouldn't kill each other this time. Besides, Shelby was excited to hear Rachel talk about her dreams and of being in this show.

"I just need to say, Rach, I am so proud of you for going after your dream. You have become a beautiful, strong, courageous young woman. I could not be more proud to be your mom." Shelby was letting down her wall now that it was just her and her daughter.

Rachel's heart warmed at the sentiment. Shelby had never dropped her guard so quickly and it felt amazing to be able to have such a heartfelt, loving conversation with her like this. "Thank you so much, mom. Honestly, all my life, your opinion has been the only one that's truly mattered."

"Well I have always been so proud of you. I am just happy that I now have the chance to tell you that in person."

"It really means a lot that I can make you proud. That's all I've ever wanted to do." She smiled. "I'm grateful we have a relationship where we can talk to each other like this. I've always wondered what it would be like to be comfortable enough to talk to you like this..."

"I know things have been crazy the past few weeks and I am so glad to have this time together. We need to make more time for us without our crazy other halves."

"I agree." Rachel nodded, contemplating. "Maybe we can go do something this weekend? Shopping or...go see a show?"

"Sounds great." Shelby replied just as Rachel's phone began to ring

Rach gave her mom a guilty look. "Sorry." She mouthed, finding it curious that she didn't recognize the number as she answered the call. "Hello?"

"Ms. Berry?"'

A man's voice came through the phone.

"This is she," Rachel's stomach fluttered and she reached out and grabbed Shelby's hand nervously. Was this the call she thought it was?

"This is Rupert Campion. I was just calling to inform you that you are the new face of Fanny Brice. Congratulations."

Rachel squeezed Shelby's hand to the point of nearly breaking it, trying to calm her heart and refrain from screaming in her new director's ear. "Oh my god, that's amazing! Thank you so much!" She squeezed her eyes shut and stomped her feet excitedly.

"You are very welcome. You were phenomenal. See you Tuesday. Call time is 10 am." The director replied with a small laugh at Rachel's excitement.

"Okay, thank you so much, I'll see you then."

After hanging up, Rachel let out a loud shriek and jumped up from her seat. "I GOT IT! MOM, I GOT IT! I'M THE NEW FANNY BRICE!"

Shelby jumped up as well, trying to hold back her tears. Her baby's dreams were coming true. She pulled Rachel into a bone crushing hug. "Congratulations, honey."

"I can't believe it." Shelby may have been able to hold back her tears but Rachel certainly could not. They streamed down her face freely. "I can't believe it, Mom. I'm playing Fanny Brice on Broadway. Broadway!"

"I am so happy for you, Rach. When do you start?"

"T-tuesday at 10." She felt like a blubbering fool but Shelby thought it was adorable.

"I just can't believe it. My baby, the Broadway star!"

"A Broadway star, mom." Rachel reveled in her excitement.

Santana had led Cassie into the music room. "I wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?"

"I suppose, yeah." Cass laughed lightly; her defense mechanism. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I didn't know. How are you? Are you okay?" Santana asked sincerely. She was done hating Cassandra. Cass needed her right now, and god damn it, they would become good friends, Santana could see it on the horizon.

"I'm fine," Cass sat down and crossed her legs, folding her hands into her lap. "Better than I was, anyways..."

"Yeah. I get it. It's gonna take some time."

"…right." Cass didn't understand how Santana could possibly get it, but she was done arguing with the girl. She wanted to actually be friends with her, if it were possible.

"I want you to know that," San paused to make sure they were truly alone. "I have been in your shoes. If you ever need to talk. I am here."

Cassie's eyes widened as she looked up at the girl in front of her. "You...what?"

Santana looked down at her hands. She wasn't sure why she decided to open up to Cassie. Then again, she knew that Cassie needed someone to lean on. Someone who had been through it too. She looked back up. "I was an alcoholic in high school. I had to go through the withdrawals as well."

"...oh..." Cassandra had absolutely no idea how to respond. She was shocked. Sure, she knew Santana had gotten into a lot of trouble in high school, but she hadn't imagined it'd been anything this bad.

"I know that if anyone can fix this, it is Shelby. When she came into the school and began the Trouble Tones she is the one who picked up on my alcohol addiction and stepped in and saved me. I hated her at first because I didn't need help, but I can honestly say that she saved my life. But anyway. The whole reason I wanted to talk to you was to let you know that if you ever needed someone to talk to. I am here."

Santana rambled because she hated voicing her feelings.

Cass felt slightly patronized, but in a good way. She hadn't truly realized that Shelby would be so extraordinarily helpful. Of course, Shelby had saved her life. So many times. Shelby was her life. But she also knew that her drinking pissed Shelby off. And the last thing Cassie expected was for Santana to offer to help her. She was conflicted.

Santana was about to ramble again when they heard Rachel's scream.

Cass and Santana jumped with wide eyes. The moment between them was clearly over, but there was something new there. That friendship that everyone had been looking for…it finally existed.

They ran into the living room to see Shelby and Rachel hugging. Was that a tear in Shelby's eye?

"Schwimmer got the part?" Cass guessed excitedly.

"She did!" Shelby replied, equally excited

"I knew you could do it, Ohio." Cass beamed, surprising the hell out of herself and Rachel by pulling Rach into a hug.

"Thank you for pushing me so hard." Rachel said, hugging Cassie back.

"That's my job, Rachel." Cassandra assured her. "I knew you had it in you. I knew you were special."

Kurt returned from the kitchen and wore a blush when all eyes in the room turned to him. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Kurt, Kurt, oh my god, Kurt I got the part!" Rachel screamed, literally jumping up into the arms of her best friend.

He hugged her tightly, tears running down his face. "I am so happy for you, Diva"

"I made it, Kurt. This is the dream. I...oh my god..." She hugged him tighter and then jumped down and shared a congratulatory kiss with Santana.

Shelby joined into the kissy-feely tone of the room, and pulled Cassie into her side after placing a passionate kiss on her lover's lips.

"Mmm. What was that for?" Cass smiled against her. "Why does Cassie deserve a kiss when Ohio is the big Broadway star?"

"Because I just love you so much. You are so great." Shelby's wall was still down from her talk with Rachel.

"Sweetheart," Cass spoke against Shelby's lips, grateful for this moment of bliss. She needed this passion back with Shelby.

"My life couldn't be any better. I have my baby back and she is on Broadway. I have the love of my life back here with me...I have been so blessed."

"I love you so much." Cass whispered against her. "You are perfect and wonderful. I'm so happy for you, about Rachel."

"Thanks baby"

"Of course."

And for the first time in a long time, everyone was content.


	19. A Celebratory Night

**A/N: A big thank you to all of our readers for being so supportive and amazing throughout the length of this story. This is it, you guys, we've reached the end of this beautiful piece of work, and we are so happy that you've all joined us on this ride. We thought a lot about how we wanted to carry on with this, and then realized it would be best to just end it here. This chapter wraps everything up, starting at Rachel's opening night, and next there will be an epilogue. We love you all and thank you so much for the opportunity to share our story with you! Love always, Defygravity09 and Hayley**

**Chapter 19: A Celebratory Night**

Cass and Shelby rushed around the apartment, getting ready for Rachel's opening night. "For the last time Shelby, your dress is amazing, will you stop fretting so damn much?" Cass called to her from the bathroom as she put finishing touches on her makeup.

"I'm ready, baby. Do I look okay?" Shelby asked making her way toward the bathroom.

Cassie's breath left her. "You look incredible." She gave Shelby a kiss on the lips and reached into her jacket pocket to make sure the ring was still there. She wasn't originally going to propose on Rachel's opening night, but after telling Rach and San her plan to propose, and asking Rachel for permission to do so, Rach insisted she propose at dinner after the show.

"You ready to go baby? I don't wanna be late…" Shelby insisted.

"Yeah," Cassie's heart was pounding. She had never been so nervous in her life. "Yeah, let's go." she took her hand out of her pocket and laced her fingers with Shelby's, kissing the back of her hand in a promising fashion.

At the theatre, Shelby and Cassie went to the stage door just as Rachel had requested. They made their way to Rachel's dressing room.

They found Rachel pacing the room nervously. Neither Kurt nor Santana could calm her.

Shelby walked in and grabbed Rachel into a hug. "Baby it is going to be okay."

"Mom…oh my god, mom I can't breathe. What if I screw this up? What if I screw up and Barbra hears about it?!"

"You won't, baby. I love you so much. You will do great. Barbra would love your performance. Just breathe with me...match my breaths."

Rach did as her mom instructed and Cass and San hung back, watching in amusement. Kurt and Blaine, who had recently reconnected, sorted things out, and were madly in love, were rushing around getting Rachel water and making sure all of her stuff was in place.

Places were called so the crew went to their seats as Rachel got ready to take the stage.

Rach took a deep breath, chanting a mantra to herself. _Take a deep breath. Channel Barbra. Do as amazing as Cassie believes you are. Make mom proud._

Rachel did amazing. Even more incredible than anybody had ever hoped or dreamed. She shined so brightly on that stage, and Shelby swore she saw Cass crying during the curtain call, although Cass would never admit to such a thing.

They met up with Rachel after the show, at a celebratory dinner being hosted for the star. Many people drank, except for San and Cassie who gave each other strong, knowing looks and clinked sparkling cider glasses, sipping them casually.

Rachel had made her rounds and finally make it back to the table when Cassie stood up.

"Firstly," she said loudly and clearly so everyone would hear her. "I want to congratulate my student and close friend Rachel on her INCREDIBLE performance." She waited for the applause to dwindle before she said, "You did it Rachel. You truly are a star."

Rachel nodded toward Cassandra. They had become so close over the last few months.

"I also wanted to say something else and don't worry, I did get Rachel's permission to do this. Her permission to shake up her little party and also, to ask her mother what I'm about to ask her. Because you see, I used to pretend not to care about Rachel's opinion, but as we all know, Rachel's opinion is the only one that matters." Cass realized she was rambling and making jokes because she was so nervous

The table all laughed as Shelby just looked back and forth between Rachel and Cassie, her eyes wide and lost.

"I'm just um...going to get to the point..." She rummaged in her pocket and then smiled when her hand clasped around the box she was looking for. Although she was in a dress, she got down on her knees.

"Shelby, my sweet, sweet Shelby." She started, her hand shaking as she reached out to take Shelby's.

Shelby's hand clasped over her mouth and tears sprang to her eyes.

"You, my dear, have swept me off of my feet more times than I could count. You have changed my life for the better in more ways than I can count and you have saved me from myself in every possible way. You are the most incredible, amazing, gorgeous and brave woman I have ever met. And you and I somehow, despite the odds, always seem to come out on top. Together." Cass's eyes were sparkling with tears now and she couldn't even try to deny it. "I can't tell you what's up ahead for us, but I can tell you that I would be the biggest idiot in the world to not spend every single moment of the future with you. Of our future. I promise to love you and protect you for every day of forever. Shelby Kimberly Corcoran..." She let go of Shelby's hand and opened the box, showing Shelby the most beautiful engagement ring. "Will you marry me?"

Shelby got down on Cassie's level, tears flowed freely down her face. "Yes. A Million times yes." She then kissed Cassandra like she had never kissed her before. She didn't care who saw, she didn't care about anything except for the woman in front of her right then.

There was applause but Cass and Shelby didn't hear it. Cass slid the ring on Shelby's finger. It fit perfectly. She kissed her again. "I love you so much, Shelby Corcoran."

"I love you too, baby. Thank you for being the perfect woman for me."

"Thank you for thinking I'm that perfect woman. And for being so perfect yourself."

The future for Cassandra July finally looked...bright. And as far as Shelby was concerned...her New York life was turning out so much better than she had ever hoped for.

Kurt and Blaine held up their champagne glasses, excited for the couple. The two had been talking about getting their own apartment and working on their relationship, themselves.

Kurt leaned over and shared a special kiss with Blaine. "That will be us one day, honey."

"One day soon." Blaine promised back, returning the kiss. He was so thankful to have the love of his life back with him again.

And as for Rachel and Santana, they stood close to Shelby and Cassie, laughing as they heard Shelby ask something about having cheesecake at the wedding and seeing Cassie crinkle her nose adorably, giggling at her wife to be and giving her another peck on the lips.

"You know, San. We have Mom to thank for us being together. Had she never convinced me to be honest then I would still be struggling with my feelings. I am so glad that I told you how I felt. I love you, baby." Rachel stated, thoughtfully.

"I love you, too." San kissed Rach warmly, before adding, "And I'm thankful for your mom. I never in a million years dreamed any of this would be happening. Did you?"

"Never. But I am so glad it did. I can't imagine my life without having you to hold at night. I could lose my part as Fanny and still be happy because I know I am coming home to you."

"Awe, sweetie." San held her close and nuzzled her nose into Rachel's neck. "You know Blaine and Kurt are planning on getting their own place soon…We'll have the apartment to ourselves. We can redecorate...make it more like ours. Our home."

"That sounds perfect."

"And, did I tell you about the job Cassie offered me?" She asked, excitedly.

"No." Rachel looked over at Cassie who was holding Shelby so close. Cass had heard her name and decided to watch for Rachel's reaction to Santana's news.

"She wants me to teach with her at NYADA, full time." Santana's face was brighter then all of the stars in the galaxy. Teaching dance was only her lifelong dream, and Cassandra, of all people, was going to be the one to make it happen.

Rachel's face lit up. She looked over at Cassie again and smiled, mouthing a 'thank you' before turning back to Santana. "That is AMAZING, San."

"I know, I can't believe I used to hate the crazy bitch." She said it loud enough on purpose so Cassie would hear and could see Cassie laughing over it, turning back to talk to Shelby after mouthing an, "of course" back to Rachel.

"It is amazing to see how all of our lives have changed in the last few months"

"I know." Santana shook her head, still in disbelief. "What would have happened if those secrets hadn't come spilling out?"

"I have no idea." Rachel shook her head, not wanting to think about what that kind of world must be like. "But I guess it goes to show that little secrets can change your entire life." Rachel said leaning her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Let's not keep secrets anymore." Santana decided. "I like it better without them."

"Deal."

Because after all, their dirty little secrets didn't seem so dirty or little anymore.


	20. Epilogue

**Epilogue, 1.5 years later:**

"Hey, San," Cass jogged over to her partner in crime. "Do you want to take the next class on your own?"

"Uhm. Yeah, I can. Why what's up?" San looked up from her phone as she had been checking her schedule.

Cass rolled her eyes, tiredly. "Meeting with Madame T...don't give me that face, I didn't do it! Whatever IT was..." she was so guiltily "innocent" that it made Santana crack a smile.

"Oh whatever, this is me you are talking to, Cass. I am sure that whatever it is, you did in fact do it." Santana laughed. "Yeah, go ahead. I got it covered.

"Thanks hun," Cass kissed her friend on the cheek and made her way out the door towards Madame T's office. San was right, she had done it. Though she hadn't been the only one. Her wife and accomplice, Shelby, was just lucky she didn't work at NYADA, too.

Madame T smirked at Cassie as the blonde sat down in front of her. "Cassie you do know we have cameras here, right?" She laughed, shaking her head back and forth. She'd known Cassandra July for a long time, and the woman was lucky she was so loved. Carmen Tibideaux knew she let her get away with way too much.

Cass sat back in her seat, sarcasm dripping from her tone as she responded, cheekily, because she knew she could, "Well damn, I though Shelbers and I had turned all of those off..."

"Oh, Cassie." Madame T nearly face palmed. "You can't turn ALL of them off. You should know that."

This is when Cass's tone turned slightly defensive. That kind of tone that said, "C'mon, you're not _really_ mad, are you?"

What Cass really said aloud was, "There were no students here...we cleaned the desk...twice..."

"Yes. While all of that is true, and I do appreciate you cleaning my desk when you finished, this cannot happen again. I love you and Shelby. You are two of my closest friends, but I do not care to watch the cameras from the night before to see your bare asses taking turns waxing my desk. Is that understood?" Madame T asked, with a smirk teasing her lips.

"So...don't watch?" Cass pressed her lips together and shrugged in that smart-ass way that she always had about her. Catching Madame T's smirk she sighed and sing-songed. "We're sorry, Carmennn...although I will point out that my ass was hardly _waxing_ your desk…"

"It's okay, Cass. Just no more, please?" Carmen ignored the comment about the desk waxing. "I understand that you are newlyweds but damn, you have been with Shelby since you were both students here. So there is really nothing new, is there."

"Mmm, but that doesn't make her any less...enthralling...intoxicating...sexy..." Cass was saying words just to get Carmen's nose to crinkle like it was now.

"That's enough, Cassandra. Get out of my office." Carmen groaned as she placed her head in her hands, chuckling at the cunning blonde. Yes, she could feel the headache coming on.

"You're the best and we love you very much!" Cass called out the door behind her.

San looked up from teaching the kids when she heard the door open. Cassie walked in, smiling from ear to ear. When she was in ear shot, Santana asked "So I am guessing things went well?"

"You could say that..." Before Cass could explain, her cell rang. It was her wife. She answered in an instant. "Hey, you."

"Hi baby, so I just hung up with Carmen…" She trailed off.

Although Shelby couldn't see it, Cassandra shrugged. "Slap on the wrist. Maybe she didn't see all of the _other_ videos..." Cass laughed out loud at the concerned and confused look on Santana's face, before adding, "Or maybe we actually turned all of the cameras OFF during those times…"

"Yeah. It was funny. I felt like I was back in high school, getting busted in the auditorium. Anyway, what time will my beautiful wife be getting home?"

"Hmm…" she glanced over at San guiltily. "Well I made San run a class alone so I could talk to T, so I should probably be the one to close..."

Santana was, like any other nosy best friend, eavesdropping on the conversation, and spoke up, "You can head home. I will close. Not a problem." She only interrupted after hearing her name.

"Really?" Cass covered the phone with her other hand. "I don't wanna put so much work on you...We are a team."

"I've being doing this for a year now, Cass. I gots this. Go home. Maybe then you won't have to use Madame T's desk to make love to Shelbs."

Cass blushed slightly and mouthed so Shelby wouldn't hear, "You're just jealous you didn't get the studio for you and Rachel."

With widened, laughter-filled eyes, San responded, "Damn straight I am. I am trying to make her a little more open to the idea of having some fun in public. It's not working."

"I'll be home in a bit babe," Cass blew a kiss to Shelby through the phone and once she hung up laughed. "Honey, you wouldn't believe how long it took to convince Shelby...good luck."

"Ugh. Thanks. Anyway, have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow night for dinner at your place." Santana said as Cassie headed out the door.

"Yes you will." She winked and walked out the door, picking up her pace as she headed back to her and Shelby's apartment. She had a wife to spend some time with.

. . .

San walked into the apartment she shared with her beautiful fiancé and dropped her bag off in the chair by the door. "Rach, I am home! I needs me a kiss!" She screamed throughout the room.

Rach popped out from behind the corner, catching San off guard with a kiss. "Welcome home." She smiled against San's lips.

"I missed you baby." San replied deepening the kiss.

"Mmmm, I missed you too, fiancé of mine." Rach grinned. "You ready for dinner? How was your day? Any crazy happenings with July?"

An evilly happy look filled Santana's eyes. "So, do you remember how I tried to get you to have sex with me on Madame T's desk?" San said, making her way to the table for dinner.

Rach laughed lightly, setting down the salad bowl slowly. How could she not remember, when they'd discussed it for nearly a week afterwards? But what did that have to do with Cassandra? "...yes..." Then it hit her. She gasped. "No they did not..."

San nodded slowly, with emphasis. "Yes they did. Cass asked me to take over one of her classes today because she was called to the office. Just like a child," Santana laughed. "Turns out they didn't turn off all of the cameras and got busted."

"Grossss..." Rachel laughed and shook her head. "You see, this is why we don't have sex on Madam T's desk. Lesson learned."

"Right." Santana would agree for now, but she KNEW Cass was aware of how to really turn off all of the cameras, and one day she was determined she was going to convince Rach to go for it. Until then… "So how was your day?"

"Eh, it was a day," Rach sighed. "We had to do a full dress rehearsal for the new cast members..."

Based on Rachel's exhausted tone of voice, Santana felt it safe to conclude, "Taking that it didn't go well?"

"It was exhausting," Rachel fell down into her seat, making a statement that was clearly obvious based on the way she was acting. She seemed so tired. "We had to keep stopping and starting and stopping and starting..."

"Ugh. Newbies." Santana shared Rachel's frustration. She knew how annoying it could be when the new people couldn't keep up. Even if they were new…

"You're telling me." Rach rolled her eyes. "So Kurt's got that fashion show this weekend, are you planning on going with us?"

"Yes. I am. I haven't seen Lady Hummel in a couple of weeks with him so busy preparing for the show, and me helping Cassie in the studio. Have you heard from Blaine?"

Rach took another thoughtful bite. "Last I talked to Blaine was...yesterday? He's super busy at NYADA...I can't believe the rest of us are barely going there anymore, but Madame T still has him slaying for that degree..."

"I know. But he should be finishing up here soon, right?"

"Um..." Rach crunched some quick numbers in her head. "Yeah, I think so. He should be finishing school just before our wedding..."

"Great timing. So any plans on your day off tomorrow before dinner at your mom's?" Santana asked. The cast was preparing for Rachel's departure so they allowed her to take a day off so that the new Fanny could have some time under her belt.

"Well no..." Rach smiled slyly at Santana. "Why, did you have any ideas?"

"Well I have to go to the Studio for a few hours, so I was thinking that maybe you and your mom could get together for a bit…"

"Are you my mother's new day planner?" Rachel laughed, taking a bite of pasta.

"No, I just know that you girls haven't had some alone time in a while and figured you would want to." Santana said calmly.

Rach wasn't going to argue with that. She did miss talking to her mom. "Okay. Did you already talk to mom about it?" Rach wondered, slowly twirling her fork around in her food.

"Nope." San replied, taking the last bite of her pasta.

"Okay, I'll text her then..." Rach stood and took their plates to the kitchen, which had been redecorated as promised since Kurt had moved out. The apartment now had a sort of bohemian feel that accentuated both Santana's loud and opinionated personality and Rachel's toned down but dramatic persona.

"Good idea." San walked into the kitchen after her wife to be. "I will finish up the dishes, baby. It is the least I can do after that delicious meal you cooked." She said placing a kiss on Rach's forehead. Rachel had been slightly stressed out recently, and San was going to do her damndest to treat her by the time she got home.

"Haha thanks..." Rach intimately ran a comforting hand down Santana's arm and smiled at her, after which she pulled out her phone to text her mom and headed to the living room, sitting down on the couch.

**Hey you, long time no talk**

_Hey baby. I know. I've missed you._

**What's up?**

_Nothing much, just finished dinner. You?_ Shelby sat down on her couch as well. She hadn't heard from Rachel in a few days, which wasn't out of the norm. She had missed her daughter.

**Same. For some reason my fiancé is okay with doing the dishes tonight...wonder why she owes me a favor. Haha**

_You work hard baby. I am sure she knows that you are tired. Don't over think it._

**Okay, you're right. I won't. So...Madame T's desk, mom? Really?**

_*facepalm* I'm going to kill Cassie. AND Santana._

**I can't believe Cassie managed to even talk you into that...** Rachel shook her head.

_Me either. But she has her ways of getting me to do things I am not usually comfortable with…I find my love for her more amazing than I know sometimes. Maybe you should give it a try, honey. I hear Santana has been trying to get you to loosen up...Public displays of affection aren't always a bad thing…_

**You're right, maybe we SHOULD kill Santana. She talks too much... **After a pause where Rachel realized her mother wasn't going to answer her sarcasm, she continued. **I don't know, mom...public acts...at NYADA? It's not that I'm not loose...**

_Haha, sure, honey._ Shelby rolled her eyes.

**Well what do you want me to do, get caught having sex in the studio or at Central freaking Park?!**

_Preferably neither if I am going to have to hear about it._

**Oh but it's okay that I hear about you and Cassie every day? ;) it's still gross that you're married to my teacher.**

_Hey now. To be fair, I am not the one telling you about my sex life. Your fiancé is the one telling you. I'd take that up with her._

**Sigh. Yeah, like she's going to stop telling me what her best friend does with her time. I cannot believe they have gotten so close...**

_Me either. It is kind of scary._

**You know she's going to ask Cass to be her maid of honor, right?**

_No! I had no idea. Cass is going to be SO excited!_

**I'm sure she will be. I'm excited. :).** Rachel let out a groan. The last thing she wanted to do was go back into work, but… **So my director just called and needs me to go back in for a few hours. Ugh. What are you doing before dinner tomorrow? Can we meet up for a bit?**

_I have no plans. I would love to meet up. Cassie is going to be at the studio tomorrow for a bit working on a new routine._

**Yeah, that's what San was saying...okay. How's 11:30 sound? **Rachel grabbed her jacket and gave San a quick kiss and explanation before starting to make her way back out the front door.

_Sounds good, Baby Girl_

**Okay, I'll be over then. I love you.**

_Good night, Rach. Love you._

. . .

"So," Rach smiled, taking a drink of her tea, "We've been doing more and more wedding planning..." She was sitting with her mother the next day, visiting before preparing dinner.

"Ugh. I am so glad that part is over. While it was fun, it was so stressful. How's it going for you?" she hoped things weren't so stressful for Rachel and Santana. Both she and Cassie were so headstrong, stubborn, and alike, that their wedding plans often clashed. But Shelby had confidence in the fact that San and Rach were so opposite, she assumed they'd be fine.

"It's going okay...we could really use your and Cassie's help though on a couple things...only if you're willing of course..." Rach bit her lip nervously. What if Shelby didn't want to do it?

"Of course. We would love to help. What are you needing?" Shelby asked, not picking up on Rachel's nervousness.

"Well...I was wondering firstly if you want to help me go dress shopping next weekend..." she was going to ask for the small stuff first. She knew Shelby would love to go dress shopping with her. That wasn't the important part.

Tears filled Shelby's eyes, but she pushed them back. _Hold it together, Shelby._ "Yes." She managed to squeak out. It may not have seemed like such a big of a deal to Rachel, buying a wedding dress, but to Shelby it was a dream come true to help her daughter plan her wedding.

"Secondly..." _Shit, Rach she already looks like she's going to cry..._ "Secondly I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to walk me down the aisle?" She said it quickly so she wouldn't stutter.

Shelby let out an audible gasp and covered her mouth with her hand. Tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks. "A-Are you sure, Baby?"

Rachel nodded. "I'm positive." She'd never been surer of anything in her life. She wanted her mom to be the one to walk her.

"Then, yes. I would be honored to walk you down the aisle. Thank you so much." Shelby leaned forward, wrapping her daughter in the tightest hug she could. "I love you so much, Rachel." She whispered.

"I love you so much, too." Rachel had tears in her eyes and she hugged her mother tightly. "No matter what's happened in the past between us, I want you to know that you're the best mother anyone could ever ask for."

Shelby let a sob escape her. "I have longed to hear that for so long. I know our past was not the greatest but our future looks brighter and brighter every day. I am so thankful that you are a part of my life. You will always be my number one."

"You'll always be mine, too." Rachel was unsure how to top what her mother had just said, but wanted her to know that she felt the same way, and then some. "I'm so honored and thankful to have you in my life. It would mean the world to me if you walked me down the aisle and helped me plan the rest of our wedding..."

"You got it, babe." Shelby couldn't wipe the smile off of her face.

. . .

After Cass and San had worked out the kinks in the new dance, Santana was sitting on the floor, stretching. "Hey, Cass. I need to ask you something."

Cass slid down into a split, stretching out as well. "What's up?" She wondered.

Never being one for emotion, Santana decided to just be blunt. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

Slowly, Cass looked up at Santana. Out of all the things she'd been expecting to hear, that was not it. "R...really?"

"Yes. You have become my best friend. I couldn't imagine it being anyone else." Santana looked over at Cassie, able to catch her eyes and lock on to them, trying to read what Cassie was thinking.

Cass had never had a best friend besides Shelby before, not really. It was incredible how she and San had gone from loathing each other to...this. The corners of Cassie's lips twitched up into a smile. "You're not afraid I'll mess up your wedding?" She couldn't help but ask.

Santana shrugged. "Not really." She smiled. "I trust you. You have come so far in this past year. You'll do great." They were such simple words but they comforted Cassandra in ways she couldn't express. Luckily for her, Santana's brain worked on the same wavelength.

Cass stood from her stretch and nearly knocked Santana over with a hug that neither woman was expecting. "You've come pretty far yourself, kid."

"We both have." Santana returned the hug. "So Rachel is asking Shelby today if she would walk her down the aisle. I know that you nor I are emotional people and we KNOW that is going to be pretty damn emotional, so that why I was so hell bent on perfecting this dance today."

Cass laughed. "I see. Yeah getting in on that mess of emotions doesn't really seem like our cup of tea. However I'm sure Shelby is over the moon and it will all turn out beautifully when it's all said and done...I can't believe you're marrying Schwimmer."

"Me either. Had Shelby not meddled in our business it would have never happened."

"Ah, Shelby. Expert meddler in other people's lives. Odd how great it really is that she can never mind her own business." Cass rolled her eyes and grinned.

"Yeah. Well, we'd better get out of here if we want to make it to dinner on time and not get in trouble with our wives." Santana said, grabbing her bag.

"Wives." Cass marveled in the word. "Ha. Yeah I'm terrified to get into trouble with Shelby." She laughed sarcastically. "What if she takes away my public sex?!" A look of fake horror crossed her face and she received a smack in the arm from Santana.

"At least you are getting it." Santana pouted.

"Yeah, well. I obviously got the daredevil of the family." Cass shrugged. "Better luck next time. Apparently DNA isn't as amazing as we would like to think, when it comes to traits like that..."

"I guess not." Santana was at her car. "I will see you in a bit. Bye, Cass. And thank you, again!"

"I'm honored, San. See you in a few." Cass made her way back to her apartment. When she got there, she moved to give her wife a kiss but was stopped with a firm hand. Shelby still had a bone to pick with her about telling everyone their sex lives.

"Have you lost you damn mind, Cassandra July?!" Shelby asked sternly

"Good evening to you too, dinner smells great...?" Cass tried to get out of it.

"No. I don't care how close you and Santana are. She is practically like our daughter and _will _be our daughter in law when she marries Rachel. They do NOT need to know about our sex life."

"Shelbs, will you calm down?" Cass sighed, finally managing too kiss her cheek. "When did you become such a prude? San works with me and we were caught by Carmen, of course she was gonna find out..."

"I know. But I just...ugh I know I know. I am being a prude. You know how private I am about that sort of thing. I am sorry." She leaned in for that kiss she turned down earlier.

"It's okay. So maybe we shouldn't flaunt it about as much, but...I mean she's my best friend and we talk about things. I know that's weird, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Just try to tone it down. Go take a shower they will be here soon and you are all sweaty and gross." Shelby faked scrunching her nose up.

"Don't pretend you don't love me even when I'm sweaty and gross." Cass started to walk away, stripping as she walked towards the bathroom.

Shelby just shook her head at her lover.

There was a knock at the door sooner than expected, about five minutes later. Shelby opened the door to see her daughter and Santana at the door. "Hey Shelbs." Santana was the first to speak.

"Hey, you." Shelby pulled her in for a hug before hugging her daughter and letting them come into the room. "Vegetarian pizza tonight. I know it's a favorite."

"Except by Cassie who loves meat," Rach pointed out, scrunching her nose.

Shelby nodded. "There is that. But Cass doesn't mind it."

"Yum. I am starving." Santana said, plopping down on the couch. Where is Cass?" she wondered.

"She is just getting ready, she will be down shortly." Shelby explained.

Like magic, almost as soon as she said it, Cass appeared in the living room. "Wait no longer, my people, for I am here." She plopped down on the couch as well.

"Hey there, Mama." Rachel teased.

"Donnnn't call me that..." Cassie groaned.

"Oh why not, Mom?" Santana chimed in. "Don't like the fact that you are now a mom to not one, but _two_ adults?" Santana continued.

Shelby laughed. She knew that this was coming sooner or later.

Cass narrowed her eyes at the girls. "You are treading in dark waters, girls. Two can play at that game."

"I am so scared..." Santana began to tremble before laughing.

"Hey, Rachel." Cass decided to start the taunting now, if the girls didn't believe her. "How often do YOU talk to your mother about your sex life?" She stared Santana down hard.

Shelby tensed up. Had they not just had this conversation before the girls got there?! "Cassie..."

"And you know something, Schwimmer?" Cass said. "I suppose you're right. I am your mom now." She turned back to Santana. "And yours." she turned her head took the side. "But guess what, San? This," she gestured to her chest and body. "Turns your _mother_ on..." She leaned in and gave Shelby a sloppy kiss and heard Santana and Rachel simultaneously mutter protests of disgust.

"Doesn't bother me. What about you, Rach?" Santana said, laughing at Cassie's attempt to get back at her.

"Doesn't bother you my ass, I heard that disgusted sound." Cass stuck her tongue out at Santana. "If you think that's the worst I can do to make you understand..."

"Okay, yes, yes, it's gross, get off my mother." Rach laughed, scrunching her nose.

Shelby hit Cassie, playfully, on the arm. "That's enough, let's eat."

"You think I have an appetite after seeing THAT?" Rach teased, standing and walking over to the table with the rest of them.

"I know I'm hungry after that." Santana winked at Rachel.

Rach rolled her eyes and laughed. The crazy, slightly dysfunctional family sat down together for their dinner, grateful despite their insanity, took have one another.

. . .

Cass, San, Shelby, and Rach all sat next to Blaine front row at Kurt's first show. They were all excited to see what he'd put together. They always knew he'd make it this far. The lights dimmed and Santana grabbed Rachel's hand, who returned with a small squeeze. Her best friend was about to make his Vogue catwalk debut.

As model after model went through wearing clothes half designed by Kurt, the family was in awe of his work and so happy that he'd finally gotten his dream job. When Rachel kissed Blaine on the cheek and whispered a congratulations for the both of them, she saw happy tears in his eyes.

At the end, Kurt's models lined up and made room for him to walk the runway himself. Once he reached the end and was on his way back he paused for a moment to kiss Blaine before continuing to the beginning of the runway. He grabbed a microphone from one of his models to begin his speech. "Thank you all for coming out tonight to support my new line. It would have not been possible without the love and guidance I received from Isabelle Wright. I owe her everything. I would also like to thank my family that is here tonight. My amazing boyfriend, Blaine. I love you so much, Baby. Shelby and Cassie. Thank you both for being like mothers to me over the past few years. Santana. Thank you for pushing me and subjecting me to torment for years. It has helped me learn to take criticism. And finally to my best friend, Rachel Berry. Thank you for always having my back. We made it! Thank you all...Good night!"

. . .

Shelby stood behind the doors that lead down the aisle at her daughter's wedding. She was waiting for Rachel to join her. When Rachel came around the corner, Shelby swore she forgot how to breathe. This was really happening. Her baby was getting married. She looked gorgeous in her dress that took weeks to find. Shelby couldn't stop the tears from welling up in her eyes.

"Oh baby, you look gorgeous."

Rachel's eyes started to fill with tears, too. She tried her best not to cry and smudge her makeup because it'd taken so long to do. But she couldn't help but think...when she was in high school and didn't associate much with Shelby, no matter how much she'd dreamed of this happening-her mother being at her wedding, and her marrying Santana Lopez- she'd never imagined it really would happen. And yet here they all were. "You really think so, mom?"

"Yes, baby. I know you are eager to walk down the aisle but before we do so I would like to take this moment to tell you how unbelievably proud of you I am. Looking back, I never thought I would get to be at your wedding, yet here I am about to give you away. I love you so much. Thank you for giving me a chance to be a part of your life again."

The tears fell whether Rachel wanted them to or not, and she pulled her mom into a tight hug. "I love you so much, mom. Thank you for...just being so amazing and...For being the best mom ever and..." She was finding it hard to breathe, being so nervous, anxious, and emotional all at once.

"It's okay, Rach. Take a deep breath. You don't have to say anything. Let's go get you married." And with that Shelby and Rachel made their way down the aisle to a waiting Santana (and Cassie) at the other end.

Santana and Rachel locked eyes with each other, expressing feelings that they didn't often say to one another out loud. Cassie and Shelby locked eyes and had a telepathic conversation; Cassie comforting Shelby in this time that she knew was making her very vulnerable and emotional.

"Who gives this young lady?" The man asked, signaling the start of the wedding.

"We Do." Cassie and Shelby said together, tears rolling down both of their faces. The once dysfunctional, secret keeping family had finally become one.


	21. Oneshot 4th of July, College in this AU

**Hello again, my lovelies, if you're still here.**

**The other night, one of my coauthors, keeperofwords, asked me to write a prompt in this AU. At first I was a little hesitant as to how it would work, but then figured it would be cute to see little oneshot quips in this AU and agreed to write it with the coauthor that wrote this story with me, defygravity09. Alas, here we are.**

**This particular one happened when Shelby and Cassie were in college together. Just a cute little fluff chapter, basically.**

**I'm not sure we plan on taking a bunch of prompts for this, just sort of writing little oneshots as the ideas come up between coauthors. But if you have a prompt that is absolutely pressing at your head and you just can't get it out of your head, let us know and we'll see if it's possible in this AU.**

**love always, defygravity09 and Hayley**

**Prompted one shot by keeperofwords: 4****th**** of July, snuggling, celebration.**

Shelby heard a knock on the dorm room door. Upon opening the door, Shelby saw her gorgeous girl leaning against the door frame. "Cass, what are you doing?" Shelby let out a laugh. "You live in here too, silly"

"I know," came Cassie's cocky reply. She pointed to her cheek and received a kiss from her lover. "But I'm here to ask you on a date. So it wouldn't be right if I just burst into the dorm, would it?"

"I guess not." Shelby smiled to herself. "So a date, huh? Where might we be going?"

"Well," Cass slinked her way into the dorm and hopped up onto Shelby's bed, crossing her legs. "It IS the 4th of July, after all. I was thinking maybe we would walk down to the beach? There's a comfortable blanket, a bottle of wine, and a promise of kisses with your name on it." she pointed and raised an eyebrow when she said the words, "your name".

"That sounds perfect." Shelby looked down at her attire. She was still in sweats. "Uh let me change first. Okay, honey?"

"Do I get to watch?" Cassie inquired, a smirk slowly forming across her lips. She watched with glee as Shelby's face reddened and the brunette made her way towards her on the bed. Shelby lowered her face to Cassie's level, their lips millimeters apart, as she whispered,

"In your dreams, my dear."

Cass bit back a moan as Shelby walked away from her, swaying her hips.

As Shelby was changing, Cassie went back over her plan in her head, wondering if it was too cliché.

Five minutes later Shelby walked out of the bathroom wearing a white, thigh length dress. Her hair cascading down her back in big waves. She noticed the smile on Cassie's face. "Is this okay?"

Shelby's beauty was constantly making Cassandra speechless, regardless of how long they'd been together. She wet her lower lip. "It's perfect. I'm thinking maybe I should change, too."

"No, honey. You are gorgeous." Shelby walked over to her girl and placed a soft, quick kiss on her cheek.

"Okay." Cass relented. If she looked good enough for Shelby, that was good enough for her. She grabbed the bag that had her things in it and swung it over her shoulder, reaching to take Shelby's hand. "Well then, if you're ready, let's go. The sun will be setting soon. Fireworks will start when it does..."

Shelby squeezed Cassie's hand. "Where to first, my dear?"

When Shelby squeezed her hand, Cassie's heart warmed. She felt the sudden urge to say nowhere. To pull her down onto a bed and lie there with her until morning. "To..." Cassie lost her train of thought as she looked into Shelby's waiting eyes. "To the city. I think we should get an apple crisp and hot chocolate. It's a little chilly today and I know that's your favorite."

"Well you've just thought of everything, haven't you?" Shelby smiled, clearly impressed.

Cassie's heart began to beat faster than it already was when Shelby smiled at her. As they neared the holiday festivities, they could hear the bands playing

People were dancing and whooping and hollering. Noisemakers went off and champagne was popped open. It wasn't even dusk yet. Cassie and Shelby found themselves being reined in by the excitement themselves.

Shelby heard a familiar song and pulled Cassie in the direction of the music. They stopped in front of a street musician. Cassie was amazed that Shelby was able to hear that lone guitarist over all of the loud celebrations. After all she did have a good ear. Especially when it came to their song.

It was an acoustic version of So Emotional. Cass put her hands on Shelby's hips, feeling them move as the two of them danced, their love for each other practically blinding. The guitarist smiled and played a bit more fervently for the two of them, repeating the chorus an extra three times so they could extend their dance.

After the dance, Shelby placed a few dollars in the guitar case, thanked the man, and then returned to Cassie's side. She laid her head on her shoulder as they walked toward their beach

But first they did in fact stop at their favorite coffee shop to get the apple crisp and hot chocolate. They sipped the hot chocolate as they walked through the crowds, the apple crisp stored in Cassie's bag to share a bit later on. Once they made it to their beach they were happy to discover that it was mostly vacant. Everyone was either celebrating in the city or off on other outskirts, having their own private parties like this one.

Cassie picked out the perfect spot. Secluded but not so much that they would miss the fireworks. She began to sit the blanket out and set up for their night.

Shelby watched her lovingly. "You didn't have to do all of this," she said softly, but with a smile.

"All of what, this blanket and this bottle of wine?" Cass laughed. "I haven't done enough."

Shelby wrapped her arms around Cass from behind. "Honey, you have done so much. This is perfect. I love you."

"I love you, too." Cass turned around to look at Shelby as she whispered those three words that Shelby loved hearing so much. Shelby took Cassie in with her eyes, adoringly. The waves crashed on the sand, rising and falling, and the sun was starting to set over the horizon. It reflected across the water in hues of pink, blue, and orange. From Cassie's view, Shelby was standing directly in front of it.

Cassie sat down and poured each of them a glass of wine. "Come join me, Shelbs." Cass spread her legs apart so Shelby could lay against her. Shelby took the glass of wine, glanced out over the water, then turned to Cass. "To us. To this. To forever."

Cass pulled her in closer, as if that were possible, and set her wine glass down in the sand, buried in a way so that it would not tip over. She wrapped her arms around Shelby's waist and pressed one, two, three light kisses to Shelby's lips. Starting something. Tempting her.

Shelby moaned against Cassie's lips then pulled back, being the reserved one, and said "Cass, baby, we can't do that here, I'm sorry."

"Baby...we are alone. We are celebrating. It doesn't have to be anything major or all the way. Just...celebrate with me. Be thankful of our lives together with me. I want you to feel secure and loved in my arms..." instead of kissing Shelby's lips once more she placed the kiss to Shelby's jaw, and then to her cheek.

Shelby nodded against Cassie's lips before taking a shaking breath, this was out of her comfort zone. "Okay."

"Trust in me, Shelby," Cassie whispered against her cheek. "Let go of your fears. It's the 4th of July. It's a celebration, sweetheart, don't hold back."

Cassie felt Shelby relax into her before she began kissing on Shelby's neck gently at first

Shelby wrapped her legs around Cassie. Cassie wrapped the blanket around them and smiled against Shelby's neck, sending good shivers down Shelby's back. The sun had set. Their cocoa and apple crisp momentarily forgotten. The first firework went off, making Shelby stiffen for a moment.

"It's okay honey. I have you. You are safe" Cassie whispered into Shelby's ear before continuing to rub her back and place kisses along her collar bone.

"Safe." Shelby repeated, knowingly letting the words sink in. "Safe. Gods, Cassie I love you so much..." she titled her head back and then brought it up to meet Cassie's lips with hers. More fireworks went off and the two pulled apart, slightly breathless. Cass held Shelby in her lap as they watched the sky light up in front of them.

They could hear the celebratory music playing in the distance. The fireworks turned the ocean colors they didn't realize the ocean could turn. Cass ran a comforting hand slowly up and down Shelby's arm. Their glasses of wine were finished and so they switched to sipping their cocoa. When the blanket wasn't enough to keep Shelby from getting goosebumps, Cassie removed her sweater and placed it over Shelby's shoulders. Even though Shelby insisted it wasn't the wind giving her goosebumps.

Shelby leaned back into Cassie and laid her head in the nook of Cass' neck. She closed her eyes and let the night take her away. She was in the city she loved, with the woman she was head over heels for. Everything seemed to be working out for her. She felt peace and safe and loved.


End file.
